My Lady Quicksilver ls-3

by Bec McMaster

  She quivered, her lashes drifting shut—but not before he saw the diamond glimmer of a tear in her eye.

  “Thousands will die,” he said. “You know I’m hunting humanists, but the Echelon shall not be as discreet. They’ll simply round up whoever they can and execute them all until they get what they want.”

  “That’s not true,” she whispered hoarsely. “There has to be a way. We have to have some way to fight—”

  His mouth tasted like ash, his worst fears springing to life. We… She’d named herself amongst them as surely as if she’d claimed it directly to his face. Doubt assailed him—a moment where he wondered just how deeply she was involved, how much trouble a spy in the Nighthawks could cause.

  But she couldn’t feign everything, could she? If she was a humanist, then she never would have kissed him, never would have…

  Mercury did.

  That was different. That was lust, a burning brand between them. A flickering match thrown on a puddle of oil. Whatever lay between he and Rosa, it was more than that.

  Or it could have been, if he let it.

  Still, his thumb stroked over her chin, doubt crippling him. He had to know. Was this real, or was she the greatest actress to ever grace a stage?

  He took her mouth, capturing a gasp. Rosa’s hands fisted in his coat instantly, her body pressing against his as she kissed him. This was madness to take such liberties here. The corner was in shadows, weak golden light dripping down the red and white wallpaper throughout the foyer, but he knew this would be noticed and remarked upon.

  Still…the taste of her set the darkness roaring inside. A need to claim, to take her as his. Damn her. His hand fisted in the base of her elegant chignon. He was losing himself in her, no matter what he promised himself.

  Just once he cursed duty and pushed it aside. Fuck the Council. The prince consort could go to hell. He wanted this—he wanted her, with all his heart. A lifetime would never be enough.

  And he only had one more night.

  Lynch dragged in a shuddering gasp, breathing hard against her mouth. With barely an inch between them, he could see the wild hunger gleaming in her eyes. It tempted him but he fought it, licking the taste of her from his lips. He could lose himself here, lose himself in her, but if he did, if he took her home and let the mechs do whatever they wanted, then he knew that no matter how frantically he kissed her, he would hear the clock ticking slowly in the background.

  “I need you to know something,” he breathed, fingers trembling on her jaw. “No matter what happens…I need you to know.”

  “What?” She clutched at his coat as if some sense of premonition shivered through her.

  “I lied when I said that I wasn’t sure what I felt for Annabelle. I lied when I said that I didn’t once think of revenge,” he said roughly. “I did. Losing her hurt a great deal, so much so that I swore I’d never let myself feel that way again.” Lynch’s gaze cut to hers, forcing her to meet his eyes, no matter how much she stiffened. He didn’t care if she was afraid of this; he needed her to know, before it was too late. “You make me forget the hurt. You make me wish that there were more days ahead of me. So that we could—”

  Rosa put her finger to his lips, stilling the flow of words. Horror rounded her eyes. “No,” she whispered. “No, you barely know me.” Hysteria laced the last two words.

  “I know you’re frightened—”

  “You don’t know anything!” She pushed past, pressing her gloved fingers to her lips.

  Lynch followed, hard on her heels, ignoring the sudden scattering of curious debutantes. They couldn’t say this here. It was too crowded, every ear and eye suddenly turning their way.

  He caught her wrist, his fingers locking around something hard. Rosa spun like a scalded cat, yanking at his grip and clutching her hand to her chest. Lynch’s fingers rubbed slowly together, as if his mind sought to assimilate the sensation of that touch.

  Hard.

  Like iron.

  She froze like a trapped animal, a vicious, desperate look on her face. “And now, me lord Nighthawk? Do you still feel that way now?”

  The noise and laughter around him drained away, the world narrowing in on the woman in front of him as she stared at him, almost daring him. He barely saw it. Everything in him turned to lead, darkness obliterating his vision as the hunger surged.

  No. It couldn’t be.

  Me lord Nighthawk…

  As if a veil had been lifted, everything he knew about her—everything she’d explained away so well—crashed together. Her hands—don’t touch my hands—the pistol she carried, and the way she could pick a lock with barely a thought. No! He’d seen her hand, seen Mercury in the park while Rosa sat in the carriage beside him… Or had he? The truth hit him like a bucket of icy water, washing away the willful blindness, making him feel sick at the deception. The way she’d fooled him and so easily too.

  Or perhaps, if he were honest, he had let himself be fooled.

  “Mercury,” he whispered, and realized that she had been right.

  He knew her not at all.

  Twenty-two

  Rosalind panicked.

  What had she done? The look in his eyes—oh God, his eyes—like little black pinpricks of blazing fury. But she couldn’t cope, couldn’t face the oppressive weight of his declarations without ruining it. She had to. Before he said something she wouldn’t be able to forget. Before the sickening bite of her own secrets strangled her with guilt.

  Rosalind couldn’t face him anymore. Couldn’t stomach the look on his face, as if she’d punched him in the chest with a knife. Betrayal. That’s what she saw and it hurt her so much she couldn’t breathe.

  Heart thundering in her ears, she turned and ran toward the staircase. All around her blue bloods pressed close in their powdered wigs and extravagant velvets.

  Rosalind sucked back a sob, the world blurring around her in a golden haze of melted candlelight. Why the devil hadn’t she kept her mouth shut? Let him profess his undying love for her; it meant nothing. It shouldn’t.

  Why had she blurted out the truth?

  She’d wanted him to know. So he wouldn’t love her anymore. So he wouldn’t torture her with these false declarations. So she’d never have to see him again, never feel the aching pain of her secret gnawing like a tumor within her. Never let herself wish for something she couldn’t have…

  This felt like a nightmare. The stairs were endless, as if no matter how hard she ran they would never end. She kept waiting for a hand to yank at her skirts, for him to grab her by the shoulder and wrench her to her knees. Finally! The top. She pushed into a pair of blue bloods and came to a staggering halt, trapped by the crowd. Where was he? Why hadn’t he grabbed her yet?

  Rosalind risked a glance. Her eyes met Lynch’s, dark brown clashing with icy gray and something in her chest constricted at the way he stood at the bottom of the steps, staring at her as if she’d ripped his heart out and fled with it.

  Her pulse thundered raggedly in her ears. As if he shared the same nightmare, he shook his head, shaking off the spell. The expression on his face hardened and something hurt deep within her at the sight of it.

  Why? This is what you wanted!

  His first step was slow, deliberate. Light gleamed in the polished shine of his boots, the blackness of his coat absorbing every shadow. Somehow the crowd gave way to him as though sensing the danger that prowled within its midst.

  Rosalind’s lungs caught until she could barely breathe. Panic flared. She took a step back and Lynch’s gaze flattened. He was furious. Beyond furious. Sudden terror made her turn around in a swish of skirts and press into the crowd.

  An elegant little bell rang and the doors to the theatre opened. Laughter echoed, so rough and raucous against her skin that she felt as if it rubbed her raw. The swarm of the crowd pressed through the doors, heading for their seats, and she was dragged along in the tide, trapped by the current of people. Buffeted on all sides, panicked, almost blind to the wo
rld around her, she shoved and pushed her way through, not caring what they thought anymore. Lynch was the danger. If he got his hands on her…

  She sucked in a sharp breath. Nearly clear of the crowd. Just three more steps and then she was going to grab a handful of her skirts and flee across the blood-red carpets for the exit.

  Two steps. One. A hard hand gripped her elbow, the other settling on her waist. She was shoved free of the crowd, then the grip on her tightened.

  Rosalind stiffened.

  “Don’t,” Lynch murmured, leaning close to her ear. His hard body pressed against her back, driving her against the wall.

  Rosalind spun, the bodice knife clutched in her gloved fingers. Lynch pressed her against the velvet embossed wallpaper, examining the crowd around them with a dangerous glare. As if he felt her gaze on his face, he slowly looked at her.

  “Are you going to use it?” That voice… So cold.

  “Use what?” she whispered, unable to break the hold of his gaze. I’m sorry.

  “The knife,” he said, enunciating each word with a diamond edge. He let her go, his nostrils flaring and his gaze black with fury. “Go on. Use it.” His arms dropped to his sides, presenting the vulnerable expanse of his abdomen and chest.

  Rosalind stared at him. She had barely realized what she’d done; drawing the blade was always her first instinct. Only there was nothing to fight here. She couldn’t knife the brutal crush of feeling in her chest, the weight that made her feel like she was slowly drowning. Her fingers opened nervelessly and the knife fell to the floor.

  If anything, his gaze narrowed further.

  Then he was hauling her toward the next staircase—the one that led to the boxes. Trapped by the ruthless steel of his grip, Rosalind could do nothing but stumble along in his wake. Her mind was blank. No clever escape routes, no witty rejoinder. She was numb all the way through.

  They staggered into the hushed foyer that led to the boxes. Gilt soared up each column and the roof was mirrored in small tiles of glass. An image of the pair of them, locked together in a horrific embrace, danced through thousands of tiny glass shards. A red liveried servant stepped forward. “Sir, you can’t be up here—”

  Lynch shot him a deadly look and Rosalind grabbed his arm in desperation as the darkness within him looked back.

  “Don’t,” she said shakily. “Take your anger out on me. Not him.”

  The servant swallowed hard and bolted out of the way. Lynch raked a glance at the heavily gilded sigils on each door: a griffin, a swan, three roaring lions, a serpent… He yanked the door open, the scarlet snake seeming to hiss in her face as she was wrenched through.

  The House of Bleight’s box. Bound to be empty so soon after the death of the duke’s son.

  Plunging into darkness, her knees hit one of the chairs and she tripped, clutching at the velvet seatback. The theatre spread before her, golden light basking over hundreds of pale faces as the blue bloods took their seats. The dull roar of conversation echoed in the cavernous theatre, a monotonous drone that masked the harsh pant of her breathing.

  Rosalind spun.

  Lynch pressed the door closed with a quiet, controlled click, his head bowing for a moment as if he fought for control. The line between his shoulders was rigid with tension. Taking a deep breath, he pushed away from the door and turned to face her.

  Gray eyes met hers, devouring her face as if he’d never seen her before. “Did you enjoy it? Making me a fool? Laughing at me behind my back?”

  “It was never about that—”

  “No?”

  The harsh word stopped her. Rosalind tilted her chin up defiantly. “Maybe at the start I enjoyed it a little.”

  A bitter smile curled over his mouth. “And what happened? Come, entertain me with some story about how it started to change—how I began to matter to you. How long did you intend to carry out this charade? Until you’d broken me? Until you’d won whatever game you thought you were playing?” He stepped closer, looming over her, each word cutting and precise. “You should have left me in that cell, my dear. I’m certain the mechs would have taken care of me and then you wouldn’t have had to dirty your own hands eventually.”

  Rosalind’s fists clenched, pain razoring through her. In defense, she felt her own anger rise. “You had nothing to do with it. I would never have risked such a charade if I didn’t need to, if I…if I could find my brother. You arrogant bastard, stop thinking this was about you! You were never supposed to happen, this…” She choked on the words. “You ruined everything.”

  Silence. Lynch stilled, his heavy-lidded eyes examining her. “You expect me to believe the story about your brother was the truth?”

  “I don’t expect you to believe anything. I don’t care whether you do or not. It doesn’t matter one whit to me.” The words would have been so much more believable if her voice hadn’t broken at the end.

  A shiver of strings whispered through the air, then a mild percussion as the orchestra encouraged everyone to their seats.

  “So your brother was the only reason you infiltrated the guild? Or were you planning something else?”

  “Believe what you will, but Jeremy was my only concern. I’ve had no hand in anything since he went missing.”

  “And the boiler pack from the enclaves?”

  Not a lie, not precisely. “Something that was set in motion years ago.”

  “Fitz suspects it’s similar to the model used to power the Echelon’s metaljackets.” His gaze sharpened. “What are you planning, Rosa? Or is that even your real name?”

  She had nothing to say to that. Each word only damned her further.

  “Hell,” he swore, slamming a hand against the wall beside her head.

  Rosalind flinched.

  “And your husband?” he demanded. “Was he real? Was any of it fucking real?”

  “Almost all of it.” She closed her eyes, unable to bear the demand in his own. “The best lies are based in truth.”

  The cool rasp of his breath stirred against her cheek as he leaned closer. Rosalind’s breath caught and she steeled herself. A blow she could tolerate. But not this… Not his gentle cruelties.

  “Don’t,” she whispered, meeting his eyes. “Please.”

  “Why?” A stark demand, laced with harsh longing. “Or do you only use your body for the sake of the cause? You kissed me once, gave yourself to me. Was that real, Mercury? Or just another way to bring me to my knees?” His hand lifted, hesitated by her face. He wanted it to be real; she read it all over his expression.

  Rosalind turned her face aside, letting out the breath she’d been holding as she pressed back against the wall. Anything to stop him from touching her. From destroying her.

  “Please…”

  “You do that so well. It almost makes me think some part of you gives a damn. But as you say, the best lies—especially this—are based on truth.” His fingers caught her chin and tilted her face to his. His other hand brushed against her mouth and he leaned closer, a cold, almost fanatical light in his black eyes. “Don’t you dare look away. You owe me this.”

  Owe him or not, this was no lie. This was her only real truth, but she’d never convince him of that, even if she found the words to say. She never had the words—to bare herself so completely went against every harsh lesson she’d ever learned—but this…this she could do. Only with her mouth, her hands, her body, could she tell him what her heart could not.

  With his body so close to hers, Rosalind could barely think. Anger vibrated off him, burning her with its intensity. He’d not forgiven her. He probably never would. But he was as trapped by this as she was, desire weaving a thick net around them. In the darkness of the theatre box, with the shivering hiss of the orchestra strings swelling in the background, getting louder, almost angry themselves, she could nearly pretend that they were alone. Somewhere else. Somewhere where the lemon verbena perfume of Mrs. Marberry stained the air and the rustle of sheets shifted beneath them.

  Rosal
ind wished desperately she could go back to that. To be Mrs. Marberry again, a woman whom he had admired and respected, a woman he’d loved.

  But she wasn’t and he didn’t. There was truth again, so painful that she wanted the lie that he offered as he stroked his fingertips across her mouth.

  Rosalind looked up. The naked desire in his eyes was fueled by anger. She didn’t care. Not anymore.

  For a long heated moment they simply stared at each other. Lynch’s face lowered, his eyes half shuttering and her breath caught. Yes. Please. Her hands fluttered near his chest, not quite daring to touch him.

  He stopped, his face barely a half inch from hers, his breath cool on her moist lips. Just another inch… Lifting onto her toes, she reached for him.

  “I never make mistakes twice,” he whispered harshly, his lips almost brushing hers. Then he pushed away, dark shadows flickering through his eyes. Looking at her as if she were a stranger. “It hurts, doesn’t it? To be played for a fool.”

  The ache in her chest solidified into something heavy. Rosalind slumped back against the wall, hope dying a short, painful death. This was the end. She’d lost him. Truly lost him.

  “You bastard,” she whispered without heat.

  “Now that, I cannot claim.”

  Silence reigned throughout the theatre, thick with anticipation. The red velvet curtains swept back with a whisper, a circle of light highlighting a buxom shepherdess on the stage. As the opera singer opened her mouth to sing, a coughing eruption barked from the orchestral pit and the shepherdess flinched, glaring at the conductor before resuming.