by Cary McNeal
J.K. Kiecolt-Glase, “Hostile Marital Interactions, Proinflam-matory Cytokine Production, and Wound Healing,” Archives of General Psychiatry, December 2005, http://.archpsyc .ama-assn.org.
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140
FACT : Goose bumps are caused by piloerection, a fight-or-flight reflex that once made us seem bigger to predators and kept us warm by making our hair stand straight up. We lost the fur in evolution, but not the reflex. And I’m okay with that. If I get cold, I’d rather put on a sweater than be a sweater.
Mitchell Symons, That Book: . . . of Perfectly Useless Information (HarperCollins, 2004).
“What causes goose bumps?” Advice, Mens Health, www.menshealth.com.
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141
FACT : The average human loses 85,000 brain cells each day, but only regenerates 50 new ones. Which is a lot like my 401(k)— except for the regenerating part.
”Statistically Speaking: Brains Made To Order,” Popular Science, September 2005.
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142
FACT : Babies are born without kneecaps—sort of. They have cartilage in their kneecaps which does not ossify into bone until 3–5 years of age. This explains why infants are notorious gamblers. They don’t have to worry about having their kneecaps broken if they don’t pay their bookies.
Noel Botham, The Ultimate Book of Useless Information: A Few Thousand More Things You Might Need to Know (But Probably Don’t) (Perigee, 2007).
Tom Scheve, “Do Babies Have Kneecaps?” HowStuffWorks.com, www.health.howstuffworks.com.
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143
FACT : Your nose can remember 50,000 different scents. So, unlike a dog, once you sniff someone’s crotch, you’ll remember the smell and won’t have to sniff them again later. That’s a good thing, because sticking your nose in someone’s crotch is a good way to get thrown out of a bar, trust me.
“Sixteen Unusual Facts About The Human Body,” HowStuffWorks.com, www.health.howstuffworks.com.
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144
FACT : About i in 2,000 babies is born with teeth. If the teeth are membranous, they will be reabsorbed into the body. If fixed firmly, don’t remove them, or no other teeth will reappear in their place until the permanent teeth start to come in at age six or seven. It’s easy to spot a baby with teeth. He’s the one drinking from a bottle instead of breastfeeding.
Adele Pillitteri. Maternal & Child Health Nursing: Care of the Childbearing & Childrearing Family, 5th ed. (Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2006).
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145
FACT : The occurrence of Type 2 Diabetes in children, once unheard of, has risen 45 percent in this country in the last ten years, largely due to soaring obesity rates among our kids. Too bad they don’t let kids play dodgeball in school anymore. They’d have a lot more targets than when I was a kid.
Katherine Robertson, “Is Your Child a Health Statistic? 4 Scary Facts, 8 Real Solutions, ” Gaiam Life, www.life.gaiam.com.
“Diabetes Rates Are Increasing Among Youth, ” NIH News, National Institutes Of Health, November 13, 2007, www.nih.gov.
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146
FACT : Diagnoses of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) have risen by 9 million new cases in the last ten years, and the condition now affects 4–12 percent of American children. Researchers also discovered tha—hey, look, a seagull!
Katherine Robertson, “Is Your Child a Health Statistic? 4 Scary Facts, 8 Real Solutions,” Gaiam Life, www.life.gaiam.com.
Victoria Clayton, “Who’s to blame for the rise in AD/HD?” MSNBC.com, September 8, 2004, www.msnbc.msn.com.
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147
FACT : Copremesis, or fecal vomiting, is not a myth: a bowel obstruction can cause feces to be drawn into the stomach from the intestine by spasmodic contractions of the gastric muscles, which the stomach then attempts to expel through vomiting. That explains some people’s breath.
“Fecal Vomiting,” Dorland’s Medical Dictionary, www.mercksource.com.
“Fecal Vomiting,” Medical Dictionary, www.medical-dictionary.com.
“Fecal Vomiting,” Poop Report, www.poopreport.com.
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148
FACT : Smegma is a white, foul-smelling, cheese-like secretion sometimes found under the foreskin in males and around the clitoris in females. Smegma is produced by body oils and the bacteria that feed on them. Some studies have suggested a link between smegma and penile and cervical cancer. You had me at “cheese-like.”
“What is smegma?” Net DoctorUK, www.netdoctor.co.uk.
“Teen Talk: Smegma,” Planned Parenthood, www.teenwire.com.
“What are the risk factors for penile cancer?” Cancer.org, www.cancer.org.
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149
FACT : A person can live without eating for weeks, but will only survive eleven days without sleep. People around those who haven’t slept, however, will only survive a day or two.
“Sixteen Unusual Facts About The Human Body,” How Stuff Works, www.health.howstuffworks.com.
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150
FACT : The human brain stops growing at the age of eighteen. Probably because most eighteen-year-olds know everything by then. If you don’t believe me, ask them.
Facts Library, FactLib.com, www.factlib.com.
CHAPTER 4
Was It
Bad for
You, Too?
Everything You
Never Wanted to
Know about Sex
and Love
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151
FACT : Up to 20 percent of Americans have genital herpes, which has no cure and is easily transmitted through sexual contact. Genital herpes: the gift that keeps on giving.
“Genital Herpes—CDC Fact Sheet,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Division of STD Prevention, National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD, and TB Prevention, January 4, 2008, www.cdc.gov.
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152
FACT : Of people who use dating personal ads, 35 percent are married. Hey, we all forget things sometimes.
Bernice Kanner, Are You Normal about Sex, Love, and Relationships? (Macmillan, 2004).
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153
FACT : Two out of three middle class nineteen-year-old males confess to having gotten a date drunk to coerce her into having sex. Two out of five have used verbal intimidation, and almost one in five have used force or threats. Nearly 60 percent of female college students say that they have had intercourse against their will. The rest of us just worked the pity angle. Tears are surprisingly effective at getting a girl in bed.
Bernice Kanner, Are You Normal about Sex, Love, and Relationships? (Macmillan, 2004).
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154
FACT : Only 15 percent of sexually active adults have been tested for HIV, says the National Center for Health Statistics. The other 85 percent are certain they don’t have it. No, really, there’s no way they could possibly have it, so why bother with that annoying condom?
Bernice Kanner, Are You Normal about Sex, Love, and Relationships? (Macmillan, 2004).
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155
FACT : 12 percent of men surveyed say they would not tell a partner if they were HIV-positive. At least not until after they’ve had sex. That would just kill the mood.
Bernice Kanner, Are You Normal about Sex, Love, and Relationships? (Macmillan, 2004).
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156
FACT : Eight percent of people admit to having sex with a cousin, and six percent confess to doing it with a sibling or half-sibling. Hard to say what’s more troubling: the fact that they do it or that they admit it.
Bernice Kanner, Are You Normal about Sex, Love, and Relationships? (Macmillan, 2004).
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157
FACT : Two out of three men say they would have sex for cash, and 16 percent of them would do it for $150 or less. The third guy is lying.<
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Bernice Kanner, Are You Normal about Sex, Love, and Relationships? (Macmillan, 2004).
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158
FACT : In an international survey, 14 percent of people admit to having slept with a friend’s lover behind his (or her) back. The trick is to be very quiet and pray he doesn’t roll over.
Bernice Kanner, Are You Normal about Sex, Love, and Relationships? (Macmillan, 2004).
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159
FACT : Erectile dysfunction (ED) affects approximately 18 million American men. If my name were Ed, I’d be pissed that they call this ED. Especially if I had it.
“Natural Viagra? ‘Horny Goat Weed’ Shows Promise In Lab Studies,” Medical News Today, September 25, 2008, www.medicalnewstoday.com.
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160
FACT : Although the penis is not a bone, it can still be fractured. A fracture can occur when the erect penis endures blunt trauma during sexual intercourse or other physical activity. A cracking sound can be heard, followed by pain and swelling that causes the shape of the penis to become distorted. Surgery is often required to repair the damage. Every man reading this just clenched his legs together.
Klemen Jagodič and others, “A Case of Penile Fracture with Complete Urethral Disruption during Sexual Intercourse: A Case Report,” Journal of Medical Case Reports, May 2, 2007, www.medicalnewstoday.com.
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161
FACT : One study reports that autoerotic asphyxia, or cutting off oxygen to the brain to achieve greater sexual satisfaction, claims the lives of 500–1,000 men in this country each year. Would someone please tell these guys that “choking the chicken” is just an expression?
Simon LeVay, PhD, “The Science of Sex: Breathless,” October 31, 2000, www.nerve.com.
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162
FACT : Some women are allergic to their male partner’s semen, a condition known as human seminal plasma hypersensitivity. Sufferers complain of symptoms such as wheezing, itching, hives, swelling, chest tightness, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe reactions can cause loss of consciousness and even death from anaphylactic shock. God, don’t tell my wife about this condition. She’s just looking for an excuse.
Charles Downey, “Could You Be Allergic to Sex?,” Swedish Medical Center, May 13, 2008, www.swedish.org
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163
FACT : We’ve all heard the jokes, but sexual headaches are a real illness that affects about one in 100 people, either as a dull ache in the neck and head that builds with sexual excitement, or as a sudden and/or severe headache during orgasm. Don’t tell my wife about this one, either.
Mayo Clinic Staff, “Sex Headaches,” Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, Feb. 21, 2008, www.mayoclinic.com.
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164
FACT : Yeast infections aren’t just a problem for women; men can get them, too, as a result of prolonged antibiotic use, diabetes, an impaired immune system, or, in rare cases, from unprotected sex with a partner who has a yeast infection. But men already scratch their junk all the time, so no big deal.
Michael A. Sommers, Yeast Infections, Trichomoniasis, and Toxic Shock Syndrome (Rosen Publishing Group, 2007).
“Male Yeast Infections,” Mayo Clinic, www.mayoclinic.com.
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165
FACT : Overweight men are more likely to have poor semen quality. But fat guy sperm are jovial and mischievous, and always good for a laugh.
Associated Press, “Another Reason to Watch Your Waist: Bad Sperm,” MSNBC.com, July 9, 2008, www.msnbc.msn.com.
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166
FACT : The FDA estimates that 4 to 5 million men suffer from low testosterone, but that only 5 percent of them seek treatment. Testosterone production declines naturally with age, and at least one study suggests that the condition can shorten a man’s life span. Yeah, well, what’s the point of living without a sex drive?
Bernice Kanner, Are You Normal about Sex, Love, and Relationships? (Macmillan, 2004).
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167
FACT : Andropause, a male form of menopause, can affect men over forty. The condition, which can affect mood, memory, and overall health, is marked by a decline in testosterone production, as well as fatigue, depression, and sexual problems. Some call these conditions “being over forty.”
Bernice Kanner, Are You Normal about Sex, Love, and Relationships? (Macmillan, 2004).
“Low Testosterone Could Kill You,” ABC News, June 6, 2007, http://abcnews.go.com.
Eric R. Braverman, Younger You: Unlock the Hidden Power of Your Brain to Look and Feel 15 Years Younger (McGraw-Hill Professional, 2006).
“Male Menopause,” Cleveland Clinic, www.my.clevelandclinic.org.
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168
FACT : Some men can experience retrograde ejaculation, or “dry orgasms,” when semen travels backwards into the bladder instead of being expelled. The illness can be congenital, or caused by medications, diabetes, or damage to nerves and muscles that control the opening of the bladder. It isn’t harmful, but it can cause male infertility. You’d think that any orgasm would be good. You’d be wrong.
“Richard D. McAnulty and M. Michele Burnette, Sex and Sexuality: Sexual Function and Dysfunction (Greenwood Publishing Group, 2006).
“Retrograde Ejaculation,” Mayo Clinic, www.mayoclinic.com.
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169
FACT : Sexual dysfunction, which includes erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, dyspareu-nia (vaginal pain during intercourse), low sexual desire, and other conditions, occurs in 31 percent of men and 43 percent of women. Men, if you experience vaginal pain during intercourse, talk to your gynecologist. Or a shrink.
Glen O. Gabbard, Judith S. Beck and Jeremy Holmes, Oxford Textbook of Psychotherapy (Oxford University Press, 2007).
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170
FACT : Premature ejaculation is the most commonly reported sexual dysfunction in men, affecting one in five. Some researchers attribute the problem to unhealthy masturbation habits and sexual insecurities. Don’t confuse premature ejaculation with premature evacuation—being so nervous about sex that you crap yourself.
Glen O. Gabbard, Judith S. Beck and Jeremy Holmes, Oxford Textbook of Psychotherapy (Oxford University Press, 2007).
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171
FACT : A recent study comparing the effectiveness of oral contraceptives as they relate to body mass index (BMI) shows that obese or overweight women are up to 70 percent more likely to experience contraception failure and resulting pregnancy than women of average weight. Fortunately, obese people start with the most effective contraceptive of all: obesity.
Larissa R. Brunner Huber and Jessica L. Toth, “Obesity and Oral Contraceptive Failure: Findings from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth,” American Journal of Epidemiology, June 29, 2007, http://contraception.about.com.
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172
FACT : Keeping a condom in your wallet is a bad idea. The constant friction and temperature changes can create microscopic tears in the condom that allow sperm to get through. No one who carries a condom in his wallet should be procreating anyway, at least not until he finishes high school.
David Zieve, Greg Juhn, and David R. Eltz, “Condoms,” Med-line Plus, U.S. National Library of Medicine, February 19, 2008, www.nlm.nih.gov.