by Cary McNeal
Michael J. O’Dowd, The History of Medications for Women: Materia Medica Woman (Informa Health Care, 2001), 249.
Paula Begoun, The Complete Beauty Bible: The Ultimate Guide to Smart Beauty (Rodale, 2004).
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679
FACT : Half of all psychotherapists are threatened, harassed, or physically attacked by a patient, and up to 15 percent of them have been stalked by former clients. If they were better therapists, they wouldn’t have this problem.
Bryce Nelson, “Acts of Violence Against Therapists Pose Lurking Threat,” New York Times, June 14, 1983.
John C. Norcross and James D. Guy, Jr., Leaving It at the Office: A Guide to Psychotherapist Self-Care (Guilford Press, 2007), 44.
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680
FACT : Some psychotherapists have been murdered by patients, though exact figures are unobtainable. In a six-week period in 1981, four psychiatrists, one each in Massachusetts, Florida, California, and Michigan, were murdered by patients. “Sorry, doc, our time is up for today.”
Bryce Nelson, “Acts of Violence Against Therapists Pose Lurking Threat, New York Times, June 14, 1983.
John C. Norcross and James D. Guy, Jr., Leaving It at the Office: A Guide to Psychotherapist Self-Care (Guilford Press, 2007), 44.
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681
FACT : For centuries processed cockroaches have been used to cure ailments and physical disorders: cockroach tea has been used to treat dropsy (edema), an accumulation of fluid beneath the skin; fried cockroaches were used in African American folk medicine as a cure for indigestion; and cockroach poultice has been used to cure wounds and stingray burns. Eh, I’ll just stick with the dropsy and Tums, thanks.
Darrell Addison Posey and Kristina Plenderleith, Indigenous Knowledge and Ethics: A Darrell Posey Reader (Routledge, 2004), 29.
Marion Copeland, Cockroach (Reaktion Books, 2003).
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682
FACT : Urine therapy is the application of urine to the body through the skin or oral ingestion.
Advocates drink a cup of their own urine every morning, which is to be sipped, not guzzled, and taken from “midstream urine” collected in the morning. The treatment has been prescribed to stop chronic itching, soothe throat aches, and prevent cancer. I’ll just stick with scratching and Ricola, thanks.
Flora Peschek-Böhmer and Gisela Schreiber, Urine Therapy: Nature’s Elixir for Good Health (Inner Traditions / Bear & Company, 1999).
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683
FACT : One seventeenth-century treatment for acne: chop the heads off two puppies, hang them by their heels to bleed, mix the collected blood with white wine, and apply the concoction to the face. A similar serum of “Dog’s Blood” was also once considered an effective treatment for tuberculosis. Who came up with that treatment, a cat?
Herbert P. Goodheart, Acne For Dummies (For Dummies, 2005).
Boston Medical and Surgical Journal (Massachusetts Medical Society, 1892).
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684
FACT : Another folk remedy recommends rubbing earwax on cold sores or severely cracked lips to heal them. Your own earwax, not someone else’s. That would be disgusting.
Elisabeth Janos, Country Folk Medicine: Tales of Skunk Oil, Sassafras Tea and Other Old-Time Remedies (Globe Pequot, 2004).
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685
FACT : Spiders were once thought to be an effective cure for malaria and were eaten alive in a pat of butter or in a spoonful of syrup. In India, spider webs were considered more effective, and were rolled into pellets and ingested orally. As opposed to being ingested in some other way, which I prefer not to think about.
Charles M. Poser and G. W. Bruyn, An Illustrated History of Malaria (Informa Health Care, 1999).
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686
FACT : Dr. Cecil B. Jacobson, a fertility specialist in the Washington D.C. area, was sentenced in 1992 to five years in prison for using his own sperm to inseminate female patients rather than that of anonymous donors. He made some patients believe they had become fertile under his care but had suffered miscarriages when, in fact, they had never been pregnant. He must pack ‘em in on visiting day at the prison.
“Fertility Doctor Gets Five Years,” New York Times, May 9, 1992.
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687
FACT : In 2002, orthopedist David Arndt left the operating room seven hours into surgery so that he could cash his paycheck before the bank closed. Arndt was gone for thirty-five minutes while the hospital paged him repeatedly. His medical license was later suspended in Massachusetts. Two words for you, Arndt: “direct” and “deposit.”
Neil Swidey, “What Went Wrong?,” Boston Globe, March 21, 2004, www.boston.com.
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688
FACT : Manhattan obstetrician Dr. Allan Zarkin made headlines in 2000 by carving his initials with a scalpel into a patient’s stomach after delivering her baby by Caesarean section. Said Zarkin at the time, “I did such a beautiful job, I’ll initial it.” Zarkin was charged with assault and sued for malpractice by the patient. Wow, a doctor did something obscenely arrogant. I’ll alert the press.
Jennifer Steinhauer, “Patient Settles Case Of Initials Cut in Skin,” New York Times, February 12, 2000.
Barbara Ross and Dave Goldiner, “Doctor Carved His Initials on New Mom,” New York Daily News, January 21, 2000.
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689
FACT : An episiotomy is a surgical incision made below the vagina to assist childbirth. This common procedure is believed to lessen trauma to vaginal tissue, but it also carries a risk of numerous complications, including tearing of the rectum, bleeding, infection, extreme pain, and more. Some studies show that episiotomies cause more postpartum pain than not performing the procedure. Imagine that.
Melissa Conrad Stöppler and William C. Shiel, Jr., “Episiotomy,” Medicinenet.com, December 9, 2008, www.medicinenet.com.
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690
FACT : Though relatively common, Caesarean sections (C-sections) are major surgeries that deliver a baby through a mother’s abdomen. A horizontal incision is made through the skin to the uterus. Though almost a third of American births are done by C-section, it poses risk to the health of the mother, including infection, injury to other organs, hemorrhage, complications from anesthesia, and a mortality rate for the mother that is twice to four times that of vaginal birth. Other than that, it’s a relatively simple and safe procedure.
“Delivery Settings and Caesarean Section Rates in China,” World Health Organization Bulletin, www.who.int.
Rita Rubin, “Answers Prove Elusive as C-Section Rate Rises,” USA Today, January 8, 2008, www.usatoday.com.
“Cesarean Fact Sheet,” Childbirth.org, www.childbirth.org.
Robin Elise Weiss, “Cesarean Section Photos: Step-by-Step,” About.com, www.pregnancy.about.com.
Gerard M. DiLeo, “Your C-Section: A Step-by-Step Guide,” Babyzone.com, www.babyzone.com.
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691
FACT : In 1990, a sixty-three-year old Tennessee woman went in for exploratory surgery on what doctors thought was a tumor on her buttock. They were wrong: the “tumor” was a four-inch pork chop bone, which doctors estimated had been in place for five to ten years, but had not caused the woman any pain due to her obesity. I like pork chops, too, but not enough to eat the bone.
Worlds Most Incredible Stories (Barnes & Noble Publishing).
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692
FACT : American women undergo twice as many hysterectomies as British women, and four times as many as Swedish women. By some estimates, 76–85 percent of these procedures are unnecessary, studies saying that removing the ovaries will raise, not lower, her health risks unless a woman is highly at risk for ovarian cancer. In most cases a woman is willing to take that chance if it means not having any more goddamn kids.
Curt Pesmen, “Five Surgeries to Avoid,” Health, July 2007, updated September 18, 20
08, www.living.health.com.
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693
FACT : Decompressive cranioplasty is an emergency surgery in which part of the cranium or skull is removed to reduce swelling of the brain. In some cases the removed bone fragment is stored in tissue of the abdominal wall and then reinserted into the skull several months later. That bone fragment must be hell to swallow.
T. Flannery and R. S. McConnell, “Cranioplasty: Why Throw the Bone Flap Out?” British Journal of Neurosurgery, December 2001, 518–520, www.informaworld.com.
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694
FACT : Blepharoplasty, or eye lift, is a surgical procedure that removes excess tissue to reshape the upper or lower eyelid. Risks of the surgery include asymmetry, cyst formation, and an inability to close the eye(s) due to excess skin removal. Um, yeah, not being able to close your eyes? That’s a problem.
Neil Sadick and others, Concise Manual of Cosmetic Dermatologic Surgery (McGraw Hill Professional, 2007.
John L. Wobig and Roger A. Dailey, Oculofacial Plastic Surgery: Face, Lacrimal System, and Orbit (Thieme, 2004).
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695
FACT : A bezoar is a ball of swallowed fiber or hair that gathers in the stomach and gets stuck in the intestines. Chewing on hair, fuzzy things, or indigestible items like plastic bags, can lead to bezoars, which, if large enough, require surgery for removal. You say bezoar. I say hairball. And if you like to eat fuzz and plastic bags, you’ve got bigger problems than hairballs.
For starters, you might be part goat.
Daniel Rauch, “Bezoar,” Medline Plus, U.S. National Library of Medicine, July 26, 2007, www.nlm.nih.gov.
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696
FACT : Gastric bypass surgery is a popular but risky procedure. Studies have shown that the health risks that make morbidly obese patients eligible for the procedure in the first place can also lead to complications during and after the surgery, such as pulmonary embolism, suture tears and leaks, pneumonia, and infection. An estimated 1,000 Americans died in 2006 from complications related to gastric bypass surgery.
If I’m “morbidly obese,” death is a risk I’m willing to take. But can I finish this pork roast first?
Eileen Korey, “Gastric Bypass Surgery Riskiest for Those Who Need It Most,” news release, Medical News Today, December 2, 2003, www.medicalnewstoday.com.
J. Eric Oliver, Fat Politics: The Real Story Behind America’s Obesity Epidemic (Oxford University Press, 2006).
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697
FACT : Surgical tools found in most operating rooms are similar to items you might find in a wood shop, including saws, drills, chisels, and clamps.
Other tools are the rongeur—French for “gnawer”—a type of bone chisel, and retractors like the rib spreader, which uses a rack-and-pinion system to force apart ribs and tissue for surgical access to the internal cavity. I apologize for this chapter. It wasn’t my idea, I swear.
Cynthia Spry, Essentials of Perioperative Nursing, 3rd ed. (Jones & Bartlett Publishers, 2005).
“The Rib Spreader: A Chapter in the History of Thoracic Surgery,” Chest, May 1972, 469–474.
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698
FACT : According to 2001 U.S. Justice Department statistics, though 90 percent of medical malpractice trials alleged that the error had caused death or permanent injury, the win rate for malpractice plaintiffs was only 27 percent. From 2000 to 2004, most malpractice suits in seven states resulted in no compensation for plaintiffs. This must be why medical insurance costs rarely go up.
“Medical Malpractice Trials and Verdicts in Large Counties, 2001,” U.S. Department Of Justice, Bureau Of Justice Statistics, www.ojp.usdoj.gov.
“Majority of Medical Malpractice Claims in Seven States Closed Without Compensation Payments,” U.S. Department Of Justice, Office Of Justice Programs, March 25, 2007, www.ojp.usdoj.gov.
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699
FACT : England’s Queen Victoria (1837– 1901) eased the discomfort of her menstrual cramps with marijuana supplied by her doctor. Even after menopause. Oops—she forgot to tell him.
“Medical Marijuana,” Canadian Foundation For Drug Policy, www.cfdp.ca.
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700
FACT : In the early 1900s, aspirin-maker Bayer also commercially developed and sold heroin for several medicinal uses, including cough suppression. I’m sure heroin suppresses many things.
“Before Prohibition: Images from the Preprohibition Era when Many Psychotropic Substances Were Legally Available in America and Europe,” University at Buffalo Department of Psychology, Addiction Research Unit, September 2001, www.wings.buffalo.edu.
CHAPTER 15
They Did
What?
Not-So-Proud
Moments in
World History
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701
FACT : Ancient Romans used human urine as an ingredient in their toothpaste. At least it wasn’t pig urine. That would be disgusting.
Joel Levy, Really Useful: The Origins of Everyday Things (Firefly Books, 2003).
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702
FACT : Cruel treatment of slaves was forbidden in ancient Babylon by the Code of Hammu-rabi, but the code also commanded that slaves be branded on the forehead and forbidden to hide their mark. That’s why the Dress Code Of Hammurabi forbade headbands and ‘do-rags.
Isaac Asimov, ed., Isaac Asimov’s Book of Facts (Hastings House, 1979).
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703
FACT : When a body was mummified in Ancient Egypt, the brain was removed through the nostrils, and other organs were stored in jars. Only the heart was left in the corpse. I don’t want to know how they got the other organs out. But I can guess. Hint: not through the nostrils.
A. Lucas and John Richard Harris, Ancient Egyptian Materials and Industries, 4th ed. (Courier Dover Publications, 1999).
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704
FACT : Ancient Egyptians stuffed moldy bread inside wounds to treat infections. I bet that’s how yeast infections started.
Walter H. Lewis and Memory P. F. Elvin-Lewis, Medical Botany: Plants Affecting Human Health, 2nd ed. (John Wiley & Sons, 2003), 557.
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705
FACT : A father in early Rome could legally sell any family member into slavery. My dad would’ve loved early Rome.
G. D. A. Sharpley, Essential Latin: The Language and Life of Ancient Rome, 2nd ed. (Routledge, 2000), 62.
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706
FACT : In early Rome, a father could legally execute any member of his household. I’m glad I didn’t grow up in early Rome.
G. D. A. Sharpley, Essential Latin: The Language and Life of Ancient Rome, 2nd ed. (Routledge, 2000), 62.
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707
FACT : When blonde hair became fashionable in ancient Rome, thousands of Nordic blondes were captured or slain by Roman soldiers so that their hair could be used for wigs. I guess this was before blondes started having more fun.
Joanna Pitman, On Blondes (Bloomsbury, 2003), 26.
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708
FACT : In 336 B.C., King Philip II of Macedonia was murdered by a servant just as he was about to launch an invasion of Persia. Some historians suspect that the assassination was a conspiracy orchestrated by Philip’s own son, Alexander The Great, so he could lead the Macedonians to victory instead of his father. And so he could change his name from “Alexander The Just Average,” which was given to him by his father.
Thom Burnett, Conspiracy Encyclopedia: The Encyclopedia of Conspiracy Theories (Franz Steiner Verlag, 2006).