After Always (Always Series Book 5)

by Lindsay Becs

  She nods her head as Tilly walks in with a tray of coffee and cookies for us. Penny meets Tilly’s eyes and they both smile, happy for one another. It’s a strange moment when we’re all happy to love the people we are closest to.

  “We’d like to get married soon. I want to get married at the pond,” she says, pausing to gauge how I’ll take that.

  I smile and take her hand. “I think that sounds perfect.”

  Even after telling Penny about my relationship with Tilly, we haven’t flaunted it or been super open with everyone. Partly because we aren’t used to it and partly because it doesn’t seem right to.

  I’m so thankful Penny is happy for us and knows and wasn’t mad at me for hiding it from her for so long. But it still feels odd for her to see me with another woman like that.

  “Cookie?” I yell into Sugar Stacked. It’s closed for the day, but I know she’s still here, so I stopped in on my way home from work.

  “Back here!” she yells to me.

  I find her in the kitchen decorating a cake that looks too good to eat. She’s so talented. “That’s incredible,” I tell her in awe before dropping a kiss on her lips.

  “Thanks. I’m getting frustrated with this flower though. It’s going to be the death of me today. I’ve already redone it eight times.”

  “Take a break with me. I want to take you somewhere.”

  “Oh?” she questions, looking up at me with a mischievous look.

  I roll my eyes at her. “Just come with me. I’ll bring you back here in a little bit, and then maybe you’ll get your flower right.”

  She agrees, and I drive us somewhere I’ve never taken Tilly before. I pull in and put my truck in park, nervous to show her this place that’s so special.

  “Travis, are you sure?” she questions, knowing where we are.

  “You’ll be here soon enough to watch Pen and Jesse get married,” I tell her with a shrug. “But I want to show you myself first,” I add.

  She takes my offered hand when we exit the truck and walk up the gravel path to the pond. I guide her to Josie’s bench and sit down with her there. My eyes go to the plaque, and without thinking, I drop Tilly’s hand and rub my fingers over it.

  “Sorry,” I croak. “This is hard and weird for me to do.”

  “Don’t apologize. I’m thankful you want to share this with me.”

  I meet her eyes, and I’m so grateful for her constant patience and understanding with me. Leaning forward, I place a soft kiss on her lips, in the place that I shared with my wife.

  “Fuck, this is hard.” I sit back and run a hand over my face.

  “Take your time. We have all night,” she soothes.

  “I first brought Josie here when I was still in high school and she was still pushing aside her feelings for me. She wasn’t willing to fight for us yet, no matter how much we loved each other. The next time I brought her here was after she’d finished chemo and had a mastectomy. We danced as the sun went down, and I felt like I had everything in that moment. She still had more treatments after that, but she was amazing through it all. Once she was feeling well enough to leave the house, we’d come here and eat ice cream and dance. It became our sanctuary together. We were married here. Like, right here where this bench is. One of the last good memories of Josie was dancing in the snow with her here not long before she died.

  “After Penny was born, we’d bring her and let her watch the ducks and feed them once she was old enough. Then, when Josie passed away, I’d bring Pen here and we’d talk to her momma and she became my dance partner when we’d visit. We still come here every now and then together.

  “The fact that Penny wants to get married here, where her mom and I were married, where we have always come to feel closer to her is going to be hard for me watch. But I’ve also never been more proud of her. She’s following her heart, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for her.

  “You know that Josie wrote all of us letters.” I pause and pull the letter out of my back pocket. “Well, she wrote one to you.” I hand her the one that says “To The Woman Who Taught My Husband To Love Again.”

  Tilly looks surprised, panicked a little too, as she takes the envelope from my hand. “You don’t have to read it here or now, but I wanted to give it to you here. In the place where I feel Josie the most. Maybe it’ll help you understand her more, or maybe it won’t…”

  “Travis, let me read it,” she interrupts me.

  She opens the envelope and pulls out the letter, and it takes everything in me not to snatch it from her hands and read it myself.

  “To the woman who taught my Travis to love again,” she starts, and I close my eyes, letting this surreal moment sink in, the woman I love reading my other love’s words out loud.

  “I’m sure this seems a little strange and maybe disturbing to be plagued by his late wife, but if Travis is still reading my letters and gave you this, then you need to hear me out…

  “You already know that he is an incredible man. You know that he is caring and kind and will do anything to make others happy. He loves with an intensity that’s like walking toward a fire but enjoying the burn. His love soothes all things.

  “I’m so happy that he found you. I’m happy that he chose to open his heart again to love another. And even above that, I know if he’s brought you into our daughter’s life, you have to be pretty special, and I’m thankful for that too.

  “Treat him well. Love him wholly and unconditionally. Don’t hold me over his head. We have something pretty special, but if you’re there now, you must have something just as special. Don’t forget that. He loves you. He chose you.

  “Thank you for being there and for taking care of my family, our daughter and the love of my life. I’m so incredibly thankful for you.

  “All my love, Josie”

  I hear Tilly sniff, and it brings me back to her as she wipes fallen tears from her cheeks. “She must have been unbelievable.”

  “She was,” I say gruffly. “But so are you.”

  Tilly lets a cry fall from her lips and I lean forward to take it from her, pulling her into me closer. I hold her there for a while as we sit in the solace of this place.

  “I love you, Tilly. I don’t want you to ever question that.”

  “I don’t,” she says, sitting up then to look at me. “I love you, too.”

  “Josie was and is my always. I can’t ever deny that or her. But you, Tilly, you are something else. You’re my forever to eternity.”

  TILLY

  Minutes After Meeting Josie

  “I don’t even know how to be your right now, Travis,” I laugh.

  He places a kiss on my lips, and it’s one of my favorites he gives me. Simple and soft and filled with so much.

  “You’re already doing it,” he tells me.

  My breath catches in my throat. I love this man so much. It’s no wonder Josie loved him just as much or even more.

  I’ve always wondered if I’d have to fight her spirit for my place in his heart. After reading the letter she wrote to me and hearing his words, I don’t fear that anymore.

  “Dance with me?” he asks, and I’m surprised but take his hand to stand with him.

  Soon we’re swaying to the sound of the pond and the wind around us, our feet on the grass under our shoes. It’s such a simple act, but has such a powerful meaning for him, for us.

  Cupping his face in my hands, I look at him, searching his eyes for any doubt that he wants this and us right now, but there isn’t anything but certainty.

  “Thank you for sharing all of this—her—with me. I love you so much, Travis. I don’t know what the rest of our lives will look like. I don’t know much other than I want to wake up next to you each day for our forever. If I’m your eternity, then I’ll gladly love you for as long.”

  His lips meet mine, and in unison with our swaying bodies, our lips find their own dance like they always do. Travis has a softness about him, but he’s also passionate in a way that sets my bod
y on fire. Josie was right; he’s the fire that I’ll walk into each and every moment I get with him.

  Chapter 20

  Travis

  Nineteen Years After Josie

  Our baby girl is getting married today. Wow! I can’t even begin to fathom that right now. Oh, how I wish I could see into the future. To see you, to see her. Does she still have your pouty lips? I bet she is gorgeous!

  Maybe a better question is: on a scale of one to ten, how hard is today on you? To watch our baby get married and begin a life of her own. I know if I were there, I’d be at a thirteen. Haha!

  When you walk down that aisle with her on your arm, just this once, I want you to think of me and remember our day. Our beautifully perfect day at our pond. That was the best day of my entire life. So, walking with Penny today, remember it’s going to be hers too. Know that you helped her become the woman she is, beautiful inside and out, I’m sure.

  Can you do something for me? I want you to give her my necklace. The one I wore at our wedding. The one that has the single word that described our love perfectly. She doesn’t have to wear it if she has something else already in mind, but I want her to have it regardless. I want her to have a little piece of our love to keep with her.

  I love you, Travis.

  Always,

  Josie

  Through the years, I haven’t kept many of Josie’s belongings, but I’ve always had three things within my reach to touch whenever I wanted or needed them. The first, my box of letters. The second, a bottle of her favorite perfume. The third, her jewelry box. It’s small since she never wore much jewelry, but it has sat on my dresser for the past nearly twenty years.

  Opening the box, my brows bunch as I scan the contents inside to find what I’m looking for. I relax when I find it. Her necklace. The one I gave her when she went into remission. It’s a simple silver chain with a pendant with one word inscribed on it… Always.

  I make my way to Penny’s room, knocking before I enter. My eyes meet her beautiful blues and take in the woman in front of me. She is gorgeous just like Josie anticipated. Except, she thought of me when she thought of Penny. Looking at the beauty in front of me, I see her mother.

  To my surprise, Penny wants to wear the necklace today. Clasping it behind her neck, I can’t help but feel emotional watching her. Kissing her cheek, I turn to leave her to finish getting ready for her perfect day with Jesse.

  I’m barely holding on by a thread when we arrive at the pond for the ceremony. “I can feel her here. Can’t you?” she asks me as we wait to walk down the makeshift aisle toward Jesse.

  “I feel her with me every time I look at you, LP,” I tell her, kissing her forehead and thinking about the day I married her mom here many years ago. Taking Penny’s arm in mine, I close my eyes for a moment before I focus back on my LP. I give her a small smile, and then I walk my baby girl toward her always.

  The ceremony, although brief, was beautiful. Anyone around can see how much Penny and Jesse love each other. I have no doubts that they will be happy together, no matter how young they are.

  Tilly catches my arm before I get to my truck in the parking lot. “Can I ride with you?”

  I give her a lopsided grin. How does she know that I need her right now? “I’d love nothing more.”

  We climb in, and our fingers instantly lace together. Looking over at her, I take her in truly for the first time today. She looks so pretty. I’m a lucky man.

  With my other hand, I sink my fingers into her soft curls and press a kiss to her lips. “You look beautiful today,” I say against her lips.

  “You clean up pretty well yourself. From a dirty mechanic to a silver fox in a suit and tie. I could get used to this.”

  “Hey! I’m not that grey-haired yet!”

  “Oh, honey, but you’re getting there.”

  “I tell you, you look beautiful and you tell me I’m turning grey. I see how this day is going,” I tease.

  “I believe I said silver fox. That was hardly me saying I didn’t like it. In fact, I find you quite sexy, Mr. Gellar.”

  I pop another quick kiss to her lips and leave the parking lot to drive us to Sugar Stacked, where the reception is being held. Tilly did an amazing job transforming the place for Penny and Jesse. We even brought in a dance floor and everything.

  Tilly and I manage to get a few more kisses in before everyone else begins to arrive and we have to behave ourselves.

  It doesn’t take long before the champagne and music are flowing and everyone is having a good time. I sit back and look around at my family, all laughing and happy.

  Besides the lovesick bride and groom, I see Ollie and Bex together. Bex in his lap as she feeds him cake. Teasing him every now and then and laughing freely. Tatum and Benton are swaying in a corner away from everyone else, tangled up in one another. The four kids, who are growing by the second, are playing hide-and-seek between dancing and snagging bites of their own cake.

  They all fuel me and give me so much joy. I know that Josie is looking down and smiling with pride at all of them, too. We all did it. We all made it and made our own lives. There were times I wasn’t sure if that was possible, but we did.

  I stand then, heading for my daughter, who owes me a dance. I ask politely to cut in and pull my little girl in my arms, swaying her like I have so many times before. She surprises me when she brings up not just her mom, but Tilly and if I think I can be happy with her. There’s no more hiding my feelings, so I nod, and when Penny tells me I should be dancing with my cookie instead of her, I can’t disagree.

  “I’m sorry, may I cut in?” I ask Jesse and Tilly.

  “Look, man, I don’t know who you think you are, but get your own girl,” Jesse teases.

  “I’m pretty sure this one is mine,” I answer him and see him smile.

  “’Bout damn time,” he says, patting my shoulder before returning to Penny.

  Watching him walk over to her, I smile seeing them once more. I can’t seem to get enough of their young love.

  When I turn back to Tilly, I see the huge smile on her face and know I did and said the right thing. “May I have this dance?”

  She takes my hand and we begin to sway. “So, I’m your girl, huh?”

  I chuckle a little and look at her, taking in all her beauty. “You’re the one I want. The one I love. The one I plan to spend the rest of forever with. You’re the one I plan to marry. So, yeah, I think you’re my girl.”

  Her lips part slightly, and I can feel her heart pounding in her chest against mine. “Was that… Are you?...”

  “Will you marry me, Cookie?”

  She smiles that big, bright smile again. “Yes!”

  “I don’t have a ring yet. I wasn’t actually planning on asking you here today,” I admit, rubbing the back of my neck. “But I do, Til. I want to marry you if you’ll have me.”

  “I already said yes. Is all that grey hair already making you lose your memory?” she sasses.

  I kiss her lips, and within seconds I hear Ollie catcalling and everyone joining in around us.

  “That’s my dad!” Ollie yells, making me laugh into our kiss. I flip him off behind her back and don’t even care how juvenile it is in the moment.

  “Oh no… that makes me his stepmom, doesn’t it?” Tilly asks with a face full of mock horror.

  “Yep!”

  TILLY

  Minutes After Travis Purposed

  “Ok, I might have to rethink this. I forgot about Ollie being part of the package,” I tease Travis.

  “We’ll fix that shit right now,” he says, pulling me by the hand toward Ollie and Bexley. Ollie is still laughing when we reach them. “Can you shut up for five seconds? Seriously, how are you a doctor?!” Travis says sounding frustrated, and it’s so adorable.

  “I ask myself that every day,” Bex says with a sigh next to her husband.

  Travis looks back at me and shakes his head. I just smile up at him, wrapping my arms around him.

  “This
amazing woman just agreed to marry me on one condition,” Travis starts, and both Ollie and Bex instantly quiet and smile at us. “That you stop with the dad shit. She doesn’t want to be your mother, Ollie. Time to find a new joke.”

  “Dude. That’s like the end of an era. It’s gonna be hard to turn that off,” Ollie says stone-cold serious.

  “Figure it out. I’m not going to lose her because you can’t grow up,” Travis grumbles, and it makes me laugh.

  “I think if she’s put up with your moody ass for this long, she’ll stick around regardless of me,” Ollie tells him. And he’s not wrong.

  “How long have you two been together not telling any of us?” Bex asks sweetly through her dig.

  Travis turns to look at me and smiles. “Since the day she moved in and brought us cookies.”

  Oh, how I love this man. It might have taken us close to two decades to figure ourselves out and navigate a relationship together, but now that we’re here, I wouldn’t change a thing.

  TRAVIS

  “LP, you sure you don’t need anything else?” I ask her before she and Jesse head to the airport.

  “I’m sure, Daddy. And if not, you can mail it,” she says, kissing me on the cheek.

  “That’s true, but I don’t want to spend a fortune at the post office when I can avoid it.”

  She rolls her eyes at me, picking up her backpack and heading outside to join Jesse and Tilly, who is a mess of tears saying goodbye to Jesse. I think she’s more emotional today than she was when he left for basic training.

  “Someone help me before she drowns me in her tears!” Jesse yells.

  “I promise I’ll take good care of him, Tilly,” Penny tells her.

  “You can take good care of me on the plane, Nugget,” Jesse tells her, wagging his brows up and down.