When the coach patted me on the back and took off, catching up with Cole to jog with him, I realized something. Though I didn’t agree with his methods, maybe his methods were what I needed to take my game to another level. I cleaned up my mess, headed over to the team and gave a speech while Coach and Cole were jogging.
“If we wanna win state, we gotta win in practice. I’ma let it start with me. I’m taking my effort up another notch. Y’all with me or not?”
The guys started cheering and roaring.
Damarius got in front of me, chanting, “Number 1! Number 1!”
The whole team started saying it, and I started believing it. I didn’t have to be in control of the team for me to do my part. If we all just worked to our highest level possible, big things could happen.
We got out there and practice was on point! Coach said nothing to me when it was over, but he did smile my way. Then I realized I was glad he was here.
“Daaang, man. Hand me a tissue. I’m all emotional,” Damarius joked as we walked into the building on the first day of school.
“Boy, you stupid!” I said and laughed back with him.
I couldn’t believe it, either. The first day of my senior year. Wow! I wasn’t overly emotional or sentimental, but I was feeling a little something.
I actually had a bruised ego, ’cause I hadn’t heard back from Tori since I left her a message about wanting to reconcile. I didn’t know what was up with that. Why she couldn’t give a brother another chance? But I knew when she first saw me she wouldn’t be able to ignore what was on both of our hearts.
Cole came up behind us and said, “Perry, man, what’s up? You losing your touch or something?”
“What you talking ’bout, man?” I replied.
“Check out your girl and your favorite teammate.”
I couldn’t believe Tori was walking hand in hand with Marlon Barksdale.
“Hold my stuff,” I said to Damarius.
“Man, you ain’t going over there. Chill out!” Cole said.
“Naw, naw, he need to go over there and get Tori back. He can’t let no underclassman take his girl,” Damarius said as he walked behind me.
As if I still had some claim to her, I said, “Tori, what’s up with this? Why you holding this joker’s hand?”
“That’s a dumb question, Skky. Why you think?” Marlon mouthed off as he took two steps torward my face.
“Ooh, I’m shaking.”
I pushed him back lightly, and the soft shove pushed him into the crowd. Folks started laughing, but he wasn’t on my mind right then. I looked at Tori, grabbed her chin, tilted her head toward mine and said, “What you doing? You don’t want us anymore?”
Before she could respond, Marlon stepped back in my face. “Okay, man, wait. What you tryin’ to do?”
“Can’t you see I’m standing here talking to my girl?” I asked.
“Yo girl?” Marlon asked. “She was with me last night. Tori, you might as well go on and tell him. We’re all the way together. You know what I mean. I’ve been to places with her you only wished you could go.”
I snapped. “Tori, what is he talking ’bout?”
I knew Marlon wasn’t talking about sex. I knew there was no way in the world that my girl would give it up to him! Or anybody. Particularly since she wasn’t letting me have my way. Had my breaking up with her caused her to lose her mind? Naw.
Why was she acting like this? She wasn’t denying it. She wasn’t saying, “Why you lying on me?” She was taking it. She wasn’t showing any emotion. Just looking at me with those sad, puppy-dog eyes. What was I supposed to make of that? What was I supposed to assume?
“If it’s like that, then fine,” I finally responded to both of them.
“Yeah, it’s like that, and it’s real good,” Marlon mouthed off.
Tori dashed away. I wasn’t gonna follow her, either. Had she really given herself to someone other than me? I couldn’t even bear the thought of it. And to Marlon Barksdale? I would never fully appreciate her for who she was anymore. His tail was a wannabe. Just wannabe somebody he wasn’t. On the serious tip, everyone knew he wanted to be me.
We stood looking at each other too hard, like if anybody said anything it was on. My boys pulled me away. That joker had the nerve to talk smack.
“Yeah, you better go.”
Wrestling with my boys I said, “D, y’all need to let me go. Cole, you need to let go of my arm so I can take care of this dude. I’m sick of him running his mouth.”
“Naw, man, it ain’t even worth it,” Damarius said. “You need to go on to them accelerator classes you taking.”
Cole laughed and said, “It’s accelerated classes, fool.”
Nothing was funny to me. However, they did have a point. My schedule was really brutal. I was on the college prep track. Just looking at the syllabus for each of my classes should’ve freaked me out! I would have tons of papers to write, a lot of tests to take, plenty of research to do. But I didn’t care, I just had to do what I had to do to move on. Right now, I cared ’bout Tori.
As I strolled to class, the crowds assured me that my popularity status was still intact. It really made my ego feel good when girls came up to me giving me their numbers. Or when guys wanted to hold a conversation with me about the upcoming game, telling me I was going to do great. Even though my girl had chosen another dude on the first day of school, I was still the man. I had girls lining up to take her place. And the reason why guys were wanting my time was so they could raise their own status. I guess I should’ve been happy, but that really didn’t matter. All I could think about was what Tori was doing to me.
Just then Justin came by. We had all the same classes. He was still popular from being at the big party before school started.
“Man, I don’t know what you’re stressing about that girl for,” he said. “It’s not like you’re losing anything. You broke up with her, anyway. I ain’t trying to bring you down or nothing, but isn’t this what you wanted? Her to move on?”
“I didn’t want her giving it up to anybody other than me, though. You know?”
“So, it is not that she was with Marlon this morning, but that she was really, really with Marlon that gets you?”
“All of it, I guess. I just want her back. I mean, I did before I knew how far she’d gone with him.”
“So, you see her as dirty now?” Justin asked honestly.
“I don’t know,” I yelled. “I’m trying to figure it all out.”
When school was over, Justin went up to the office. He was student body president, and had some meeting to attend. I went on to the locker room. He hadn’t given me any advice, but he did call me out, made me think about what I was feeling. Though I had no intention of putting all of that into perspective, I was boiling. Shoot, I was ticked off!
When Marlon was the first face I saw in the locker room, I snapped. I rushed up to him, grabbed him by the collar, pinned him up against his locker and abruptly said, “You a lie, chump! You ain’t never have that!”
“You just mad ’cause you never had it. Not like we can compare notes,” Marlon taunted.
I let him go. I wasn’t ’bout to fight him over no girl. He grabbed me by my neck and pulled out a scrawny pocketknife.
“What’s that supposed to do, scare me?” I asked.
As he clenched my neck tighter and tighter, I could hardly speak because his grip had me. He dug the point of the knife in the corner of my eye.
“Don’t charge at me again, Skky, or embarrass me in front of the whole school. So, whether you and your girl ever get down or not, it doesn’t matter. By the time I’m done getting it so good, there won’t be nothing left for you to enjoy.”
With that I kicked him in the knee. The knife slid and cut me. That’s when Coach Robinson came in. That was good, ’cause ain’t no telling what I would’ve done to that chump.
“Skky, go see the trainer. Barksdale, you’re suspended off this team for Friday’s game. I’m not tolera
ting any team member using weapons. And, boy, what the heck were you thinking?” he asked as he hit him on the back of his head.
I got to sit practice out. The cut on my eye felt deep. Coach wanted to see me in his office again when he saw I looked in pain. Trying to be tough, I told him I was okay.
He said, “I’m really surprised at you. I gave you the chance at being a leader, and you’re fighting your teammate over some girl.”
“I wasn’t fighting him.”
“And the second time today. I hear y’all had it out earlier in the hallway. You got too bright of a future to be putting it all on the line for some girl.”
“He was lying on her, Coach. What was I supposed to do, just let him bash her name?”
“Come on, man. The girl knows what she’s doing. She was just trying to get a rise outta you. But if you know he’s lying, why let it get you all hyped up? Marlon just wants to get under your skin, and you’re letting him win. The bigger man shows restraint. Anybody can come down to third level. Not every man can rise to the level of maturity. I thought you were the wiser one, taking those advanced classes and all. But I don’t know. Looks like your head is screwed on just as wrong as the dude carrying the knife. Get it together, man.”
As I walked to my car holding my eye, I had a bad headache. What a day it had been. I didn’t know if I was dreaming or not when I saw the most beautiful girl ever leaning against my car. It was Tori. When I realized I wasn’t dreaming, I didn’t know how to feel about it.
What was she waiting by my ride for? I ain’t really have nothing to say to her. I had already acted stupid where she was concerned. It was time for me to wise up, ’cause being around her was not going to help me.
“Excuse me, but I gotta go.”
“W-Wait a minute. I need to talk to you. I heard during cheerleading practice that Marlon hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah. Sure you are.”
She tried to look at my face, but I just pulled away. Her concern was a little too late for me. She could tell by my actions that I wasn’t feeling her right then.
“You need to go on with your new dude. I gotta go. My dad’s waiting on me at the hospital to check out my eye.”
“Oh, my gosh! You’re going to the hospital!” she said. “Perry, I got your message. I realized too late that you really do care for me.”
“I made it clear how I felt on your answering machine. You didn’t need to get with another dude to make me jealous. It didn’t make our situation any better when you weren’t denying what was said this morning, either.”
I opened up my car door and got in. I tried to shut it, but she somehow got in the way, preventing me from shutting it.
“What do you mean?” she asked, touching the injured side of my face. “You know me. I couldn’t respond because I was shocked to see you fighting for me. I’m not saving myself because I wanna hurt you. And you think I would rather give it up to some guy I just went out with, huh? I’m saving myself because God wants me to. You should’ve known he was lying, Perry. I didn’t say anything to defend myself. You didn’t defend me, either. You just stood there.”
“I did say something. I forgot what I said, but I did look at you to verify that he was lying. That was your cue right there. You made me think all day that he took your innocence. That really hurt, Tori.”
All of a sudden, I felt her soft lips against mine. She had the most perfect kiss: sweet, gentle and passionate. I made the kiss last for a while. And at that moment I knew everything that I’d been thinking about her being with somebody else wasn’t true. All her passion was still for me.
“You my girl or what?” I asked as I pulled my lips from hers.
“Always,” she said before we kissed again.
A few days later, it was the first game of the season. I still had a bandage on my eye. But thankfully everything was going to heal. The scouts were in the stands, watching, from what my dad had told me. And for the first half, I did not put on a show for them. I couldn’t seem to get my mojo flowing. I was dropping balls, and I even ran a wrong route. My head just wasn’t in the game.
At halftime, Coach broke it down to me that this was my time to shine. He was putting the balls in my hand as we trailed at home 17-0. Second half I scored three touchdowns. I jumped over two defenders and did a backflip into the end zone. The only thing I could do was thank God when the clock ran out and we won 21-17.
I hadn’t done enough of that. I hadn’t spent a lot of time with Him. But when things were shaky, I knew He drove out the strength that I held deep inside. And for that, I was grateful.
I acknowledged Him again as I silently prayed. “I don’t even know if I’m doing this right. But thanks for giving me the life You’ve given me, Lord.”
Damarius came running on top of me. “Man, we’re praying in the middle of the field with the other team. Come on, let’s go! Coach Robinson is starting here a FCA thing.”
“FCA?”
“Fellowship of Christian Athletes, I think. Come on, man. You suppose to pray with everybody else.”
Praying twice didn’t seem like a bad thing. It actually seemed pretty good. No one had got seriously hurt. Plus, sportsmanship was all over the place. Another prayer of thanks seemed in order.
Coach Robinson led the prayer.
“Most high God, we come to You this evening to give thanks. We’re thankful for this contest. We thank You for these young men that are assembled here today. Happy that You kept them healthy. Very thankful that You allowed us to be fortunate enough to participate in a game like football. With all these things, we appreciate the fact that You sent your Son, Jesus, to die on a cross for all our sins. I don’t know where these young men stand with You. But I pray right now, Lord, above football, the girls or anything else in this world that holds their interest, they would have a love for You. Help them all find You if they don’t know You. Help strengthen the ones that have a relationship with You that aren’t where You want it to be. Help them know and appreciate that You make them wake up in the morning. You’re the one with the power. May they live to please You, and strive to make You proud. In Jesus’s name.”
After that prayer, stuff was a blur. I did a lot of interviews, talked to a few scouts, my parents praised me, and I even got another kiss from Tori. But above all of that, I had a private moment that meant a lot to me. I remembered the two prayers after the game, the personal one and the one prayed for me by Coach Robinson. And I knew there was something bigger that I needed to start thinking about.
It wasn’t all about me and where my senior year was leading or what school I was going to choose. It was about God. Without putting Him on my agenda I was messing things up, being out of order. Just letting personal things bring my whole life down a negative hill. But with God being my top priority, things were good. And it felt good being in control.
4
Fighting Every Minute
“Gosh, what did you do? Take five showers?” Tori grumbled as I came out of the locker room after the first game.
I was so looking forward to being with her. Sharing a quiet night, just the two of us. We had a couple of hours before curfew to enjoy each other. I wanted to ensure that Tori and I were back on the same page. But then I come out to all this drama. What the heck was that about? She had sorta ruined it. I guess my face showed it as I looked at her like she was crazy.
“Tori, come on, I don’t need this right now. You know we won a game. I was in there talking to my boys and reporters and stuff.”
Thinking about the fact that my girl couldn’t understand me, or give me the benefit of the doubt sometimes, made me take a real deep breath. I started walking around her and she had to catch up with me.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry,” she said, stopping me dead in my tracks, preventing me from walking any further. “Please, let’s start again. I want to celebrate with you. You had an awesome game.”
Grabbing her by her waist and pulling her toward me, I lightly ki
ssed her on the cheek. My lips made it down to her ear and I said, “You know I wanna be with you. Tonight we’re gonna really celebrate.”
She took my hand and led me to my car. “Not in front of the world,” she said as I tried touching the back of her cheerleading skirt. She moved my hand back up her spine some.
“So, what? You just tryin’ to play with me tonight?”
Ignoring my question, she said, “Briana’s having a party at her house. Let’s just go over there.”
“Wait, wait, wait ... a party? I don’t wanna be with no crowd. You just said we couldn’t do nothing in front of people.”
“It’s only a small party, baby. Cole’s gonna be there, Ciara and Damarius. Not a house party-party. Just a few of us.”
“Baby, that’s not what I was planning. I wanted to be alone with you. Completely alone. You agree?” I bent down to try and kiss her, but she pulled away.
“No, Perry. I don’t wanna be with you alone. It’s only gonna lead to trouble for us.”
“Trouble? You being with me alone is going to lead to trouble? I don’t even understand that. What are you saying?”
Before we could even get into it further, Cole tried to jump on my back.
“Boy, is you crazy? You too big for all of that! We got another game next week. I don’t need any injuries.”
“Marlon couldn’t do it, so I might as well get the job done,” he teased. “Better be glad I don’t have a knife, boy!”
“Oh, I see, you a comedian now!”
“Come on, man. We headed over to my girl’s house. She havin’ a big jam.”
“I thought it was just going to be a few people,” I said, looking at Tori.
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