Well Done

by Andrew Seiple

  A crack.

  A groan.

  And Chase screamed in surprise as the floor collapsed under her. Under them both as Zenobia howled in shock and fell.

  A snap.

  A sudden stop.

  Chase’s legs flailed, and she almost blacked out as her broken ankle whipped around with the momentum.

  As the air caught her, and sped her up, up and away from the rapidly-widening hole and cloud of dust where the tiled floor had been moments ago.

  “Carpentry!” Greta yelled as she rose on the wooden dragon’s back, brandishing a saw and a hammer. “Carpentry for the win, you sporca fica!”

  “Greta!” Chase gasped at the vulgarity... and then the air carried her up, up and out the door to where Renny was gesturing furiously. Next to him the Muscle Wizaard stood, glaring at the dust furiously, arms spread in a familiar gesture.

  The second Chase was past him, he grinned. “Signature Move, You Shall Not Pass!” he boomed.

  And Chase collapsed with a sigh as Renny caught her, the little foot-high fox bearing the weight of a girl three times his size.

  The queen was out of checkmate.

  “So,” Chase said. “Tell me there’s a second part to this plan,” she said, reaching for her jar of worms. “Transfer Condition.”

  Oooh, oh, that felt good. Her ankle popped back into place, bones and tendons knitting as a worm doubtlessly felt a very confused feeling for a second.

  “Yep!” Renny said, setting her down. “Part two, guys! Get ’em!”

  Dragonfire flared as Renny’s friend did her job, blasting down into the hole into the cellar. Greta stowed the carpentry tools and clung on for dear life, laughing maniacally.

  A small horde of dolls rushed out from the room behind them, porcelain feet clinking on the remnants of the tile as they leaped into the hole.

  “The dolls are through the Inquisition guards already?” Chase asked, surprised. “Wait. Where’s Corinthia?”

  “Back dealing with the southern wall. This is the group from the eastern wall. They weren’t needed there. He dealt with them.”

  “He’s here? Already?” Chase took a breath. Then she stared at the wooden dragon. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long night. What is your friend’s name again?”

  “Madeline.”

  She weighed her options.

  “Is Carmina gone?”

  “I haven’t seen her.”

  “She’s a Burglar... well, she’s a bad one. And not as trustworthy...”

  She held Madeline’s life in her hand, and Madeline was here, now, and helping. That made her decision, really. “Kick Yubai from Party. Invite Madeline to party.”

  You have removed Yubai from your party!

  Madeline has joined your party!

  A flapping of leather wings, and a creaking of wooden joints, and the small dragon flew over to touch down. “Cahn’t see worth a damn. Pretty sure we didn’t get her. Hi, I’m Renny’s rahd home, you’d be the halven he stuck around with, yah?”

  “Yah. Yes,” Chase said. “Where is the exit from the cellar? She’s probably heading for it now.”

  A crackle of shattering porcelain.

  A doll flew out of the dust to land before them, broken and showing bones through the holes.

  “Orrrr.... she could just be killing her way out,” Chase said, staring at the twitching undead doll. “That, too.”

  “We boarded up the exit,” Greta said, hopping off the dragon. “But it’s all burning down there, and she’s got those murder doll thingies to fight.”

  “That will slow her down; it won’t finish her,” Chase said, struggling to her feet. “But... we don’t need to finish her, do we?”

  “Yes,” Speranza said. “Yes, we do.”

  The woman strode through the blasted remnants of the front door.

  And behind her, a pack of halven-sized creatures surged in. Chase’s breath caught in her throat as she realized what she was looking at.

  Some were the Mercenaries that Speranza had hired. Some wore green chainmail and bore miniature halberds.

  But all of them were twisted, shrunken, almost-withered-looking. And they poured in like water through a sieve, spreading out to form a solid wall of flesh and armor between Chase and her friends and the player.

  “Speranza?” Chase asked, her voice rising. “You used your song.”

  “I had to,” Speranza snapped. “We were losing. And it doesn’t matter now anyway.”

  Another crash, and three more dolls sailed out of the settling dust.

  Speranza ducked a flying tiny limb, then stood, gazing at them with cool contempt. “You have a chance to finish this, and you want to run. No. No, we’re not doing this. I’ll see her dead for what she’s done to me.”

  “Who is this?” Madeline asked. “Should I bahn her? She looks like she needs a good bahning. Sounds like it, too.”

  “No!” Chase shouted. “No. No burning. Look. I understand. You want to settle this. I can’t fault you. Let us go and run out of range before you sing. Please.”

  Speranza lowered her head.

  When she raised it again her face was a mask of sorrow. But her eyes gave it away. Anger, resentment, scorn... “No. I’m sorry. My minions won’t be enough to hold her off alone. I need her to chew her way through you first, to give my song time to work.”

  “You jerk!” Renny said, pointing at her. “I’ll—”

  And instantly found himself staring at twenty small crossbows, as the Mercenaries took aim at him simultaneously.

  “Do it and you die,” Speranza said. Then she tapped a broach. “And even if they all somehow miss, the items I bought to get through her defenses should handle your parlor tricks. I bought them when I hired my troops. You shouldn’t have left me to my own devices, dear.”

  A last crunch of porcelain.

  Silence.

  Then a creaking, a final crack, and Zenobia came up out of the hole, hurtling upward to land on the edge of the hole.

  BLAM!

  A red ‘98’ rose from her head, but she shook it off. From across the way Cagna cursed and retreated—

  —not that it mattered. The Camerlengo set her eyes on the Speranza.

  “Oh, you fools,” she whispered.

  Then she was charging...

  ...and Speranza sang.

  Chase closed her eyes. All her planning, her biggest gamble, her ace in the hole; it all came down to this, here and now.

  The song echoed through the hall, beautiful and haunting and ethereal. It rose like an angel’s cry, beckoning Chase’s heart along with it. It spoke of love and acceptance and loyalty unto death.

  But it was just a song.

  A tugging at her hands, and she opened her eyes to see Renny dragging her back, saw The Muscle Wizaard pivoting to slide his invisible wall around and let the Camerlengo through to Speranza.

  Madeline looked confused but followed. Greta scrambled back with her.

  And Speranza’s eyes were wide with shock but she kept singing, pointing at the weeping, charging Camerlengo with a silent command.

  Crossbow bolts sheeted into Zenobia, piercing her armor. She stumbled but didn’t break stride.

  Halberds snapped down, points glittering as they formed a wall of steel between her and the player.

  She snapped them with a sweep of the mace, ignored the few that jabbed into her unarmored limbs, gouging flesh. Halberd blades and longswords hissed as they cleaved air, slashing her armor, tracing lines of blood where they cut through.

  She ignored them, howling in fury and despair, chopping with her sword and smashing her mace like a demon driven.

  But even as Chase watched, she could tell the Inquisitor was in trouble.

  She was shrinking.

  It was barely noticeable at first. Just a trick of the firelight she thought.

  But no. After the second group of Mercenaries fell, she was sure of it. She’d lost inches in the time it had taken to slaughter Speranza’s first pack of minions. />
  By the time the second pack had fallen, she was down a full foot, at least.

  And her strength was flagging.

  The mace fell to the ground, cracking tile and splattering in the pools of blood she’d left.

  The Camerlengo staggered, taking her sword in both hands.

  Though small, though reduced, she still had her immense strength, and she shoved the last few Mercenaries aside. Speranza stood before her, alone and unguarded... but still singing.

  Sweat stood out on the player’s face, making it shine wet in the firelight.

  A step. Two. Three. The Camerlengo lost another foot of height, raising the blade above her head, readying the killing strike...

  Chase saw it. Saw the moment she was lost. Read it in her body language as the Inquisitor’s heart finished turning.

  No bigger than Chase now, if that. She let the blade fall from nerveless fingers and knelt there before her new master. Bleeding from hundreds of wounds, torn and battered and weary, the black-armored woman kissed Speranza’s feet.

  Triumphant, the Siren raised her gaze...

  ...and halted, staring at Chase.

  “How?” Speranza asked.

  “We knew you were going to betray us,” Chase said, simply. “We prepared for it. We planned for it. You can come out now,” she said, glancing upward.

  The figure on the rafters shifted. But the response came from across the way. “Yo,” Dijornos said, armored boots clanking on the floor as he walked out of a side-passage. “How they hanging, Spazzy?”

  His armor was forged anew, the glowing blue eyes of the lion breastplate cutting through the settling dust, and his open-faced helm revealing his scarred, grinning face in all his glory.

  “How... no! This doesn’t make sense! You betrayed her, then you threw a fit and left!” Speranza shouted.

  Dijornos just laughed.

  “Yes.” Chase smiled. “That’s what we wanted you to think.” Then she shook her head. “Wait, if you’re there, then who—”

  She snapped her head skyward as the shadowy figure above threw its cloak open, and bandoliers of vials gleamed in the firelight.

  Pwner! She realized. He’s been here all along!

  And she watched, helplessly as he gave a little wave, lit a match, then touched it to a bundle of strings. With a hissing noise the fire raced up the fuses, as he spoke for the first time. “Activate Teleport.”

  The world turned white.

  CHAPTER 24: ENTER THE DRAGON

  All her preparations.

  All her plans.

  They all came down to this.

  And, as the explosion roared in her ears and the light consumed her vision, Chase remembered.

  Four days ago. They’d been on the road to Gnome. Sitting around a campfire far off the side of the road. No refugees tonight, for a change.

  Chase was finding the best place to pitch her tent, when she felt a presence behind her. A familiar heat, an odor of rusty metal and leather. Even now, he wouldn’t take his ruined armor off.

  “Hello, Dijornos,” she said, putting a peg into the ground and stretching the rope up to a pole. “Was there something you wanted?”

  “Lots of things,” the big man said, squatting down on his haunches. She glanced up to him, then around the campsite. They were the only two still up... save for Renny, who was watching from across the fire, glass eyes glittering and a question inherent in his posture.

  Chase leaned around Dijornos and shook her head at him. Renny relaxed and got up, slipping into the night.

  “Can you narrow it down?” Chase asked. “My feet hurt from walking all day, and I’m really looking forward to getting this done and clambering into my tent. Unless you want to help set it up?”

  “I don’t know how,” Dijornos said.

  She paused and looked at him.

  “My world’s different,” he shrugged. “I don’t go outside much there, never learned how to deal with tents. Even while I was on campaign in this world I had servants to do that stuff. I wouldn’t know where to begin if you asked me to do camp stuff myself, it’s why I sleep outside by the fire all the time.”

  “Would you... like to learn?” she asked.

  “Nah. It looks like work.”

  Chase bit her tongue, then turned back to her task.

  “She’s gonna betray us, you know.”

  “Maybe.” There was no need to ask who ‘she’ was.

  “What are you going to do then?”

  “Hopefully we’ll be done before she gets the chance to do that. Once we’ve found Thomasi, her window for betrayal closes. Hurting us then would cost her goodwill with the person she least wants to offend.”

  “Sounds good.” Dijornos said.

  He shifted, metal easing and rasping against broken metal. Chase fought to avoid flinching. He meant her no harm, she was sure of it.

  “Sounds good like in theory, but I know her,” he said finally. “See... she’s what we call a one-trick pony.”

  “Please tell me that’s not some weird otherworld sex reference,” Chase frowned. He’d snuck a few of those in as jokes, and earned some ire from the companions already during the trip. Cagna in particular hadn’t forgiven him for that ‘doggy-style’ taunt.

  “What? Hell no. Hah! No, no. Different kind of trick.” He grinned and shook his head. “Basically, it means someone who’s really really good at just one thing and uses it all the time. She’ll use it at some point. Even though you asked her not to. And since she knows it’ll piss you off, she’ll betray you when she does, or shortly after. It’s how she works. She’s mental like that.”

  “There’s that chance,” Chase said, staring into the pot. It was as clean as she could get it. “We can’t get rid of the risk entirely.”

  “What if I told you that we could?” Dijornos asked, eyes gleaming.

  And then he told her exactly how PVP worked in Generica.

  Four days ago he’d turned off his PVP switch.

  Two days ago he’d left the group under a pretext, faking a power-play with a Mercenary skill that didn’t actually work that way.

  And yesterday the cooldown period had expired, and his PVP flag had disappeared.

  Which rendered him and all of his partymates immune to attacks from other players.

  He’d left the group.

  But he’d never left the party.

  She’d gambled on trusting him.

  And as the shrapnel from Pwner’s explosion struck her and bounced off, as the light blazed and faded, and the normally-eardrum-destroying explosion faded to a dull roar, she knew she’d gambled and won.

  WIS+1

  “What... what just happened there?” Bastien sounded shaken. It was rare she heard him like that, and Chase turned to answer him.

  Then she clapped her hands over her mouth, and fought desperately to avoid vomiting.

  She and all her friends, everyone in the party, had been immune to Pwner’s bombs.

  Speranza and her remaining minions hadn’t.

  The gore shook her, and she looked away. Distantly, over the fading rumble, she heard Greta retching and that didn’t help either.

  But with most un-halvenly willpower she held it together.

  “Okay, weah still alive. Didn’t expect that,” Madeline said.

  The dust settled, and Chase felt well enough to risk taking her hands off her mouth. “Player stuff. I think we’re fine.”

  “What?”

  “We don’t have those at home,” Renny said. “I’d better explain.”

  Something slammed down next to Chase, cracked, and she gasped as pain flashed through her. Without looking, she knew a red number had just burst out of her. “No time to explain! Run!”

  And with a creak and a groan, what was left of the ceiling started to come down.

  While Dijornos was with them, they were protected from Speranza’s song.

  They were protected from Pwner’s bombs.

  But the building collapsing? Well, that
wasn’t an attack. That was a consequence, and it looked like they weren’t protected from those.

  Distantly, Chase wondered if that was why Pwner used bombs and overkill. If the collateral was his way of getting around the restrictions. But then she was too busy running to wonder.

  Fortunately, by this time they’d had a lot of experience fleeing collapsing buildings.

  They assembled outside of the compound, ignoring the few fleeing green-mailed survivors. The cellar was still burning, even through the collapse, and by the ashes of their foe’s stronghold they gathered and watched it burn.

  And with mounting glee, Chase felt energy surge through her, as now that she was finally out of danger, she gained level after level.

  You are now a level 8 Gambler!

  LUCK+5

  PER+5

  You are now a level 9 Gambler!

  LUCK+5

  PER+5

  You are now a level 10 Gambler!

  LUCK+5

  PER+5

  You have learned the Slot Machine Skill!

  You have learned the Suit Sorcery Skill!

  Your Suit Sorcery Skill is now level 1!

  You are now a level 15 Grifter!

  CHA+3

  DEX+3

  LUCK+3

  You have learned the Bluster skill!

  Your Bluster skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the Mega-Moxie skill!

  You are now a level 9 Medium!

  CHA+5

  LUCK+5

  You are now a level 10 Medium!

  CHA+5

  LUCK+5

  You have learned the Draw Fortune skill!

  You have learned the Object Reading skill!

  Your Object Reading skill is now level 1!

  You are now a level 18 Oracle!

  CHA+3

  LUCK+3

  WIS+3

  But as the euphoria faded, her head pounded. Whump, right through her skull. Whump again, the worst headache she’d ever had. Chase sat down, rubbing her head. “What is this?” she whispered. “I didn’t see any conditions pop up.”

  “You’re feeling it too?” Greta asked. “I don’t—”

  WHUMP.

  The noise drowned out Greta’s question.