Well Done

by Andrew Seiple

  “Or if they’re dead,” Dijornos added.

  “You knew about this?” Chase shot him a questioning look.

  “Yeah, I got the pop-up when we got into Gnome. Domain available: Contesting Rulers equals two.” He shrugged.

  “You didn’t say anything about this?” Cagna squinted at him.

  “Naw. We had a job to do, yeah? And we were trying to stay undercover? Hard to do that and rule a city. Besides, she was still there, and I didn’t want to give her ideas.”

  “She?” Thomasi asked.

  “Speranza.”

  “Ah. Oh dear.” Thomasi glanced around, took a step back.

  “She’s dead too,” Chase explained. “For now.”

  “You don’t want the throne, then?” Sir Barriano asked.

  “No. Too much like work. Even if I didn’t have a buttload of people hunting me,” Dijornos said. “You help my crew, and I’ll give you my permission to rule the city, how’s that?”

  “I... find that easier than I was expecting it to be,” said Sir Barriano, moving his hand from his sword. Just a few inches. “But that leaves the third player.”

  “You’re sure he’s a player?” Chase asked.

  “Zenobia told me so. She wouldn’t reveal who it was, she only said that there would be no way I could deal with him on my own, that I’d need her help and resources to hunt him down. And that I would be in great danger when he came for my life. That was the day I invited Thomasi into my party.”

  “Ah! You figured out that trick too,” Chase said. “It really helped us against Speranza and P—”

  Her mouth snapped shut, as the last piece of the puzzle fell into place. “Rulers. The Ruler job boosts charisma, doesn’t it?”

  “Charisma, wisdom, and luck,” Dijornos shrugged. “Mostly useless stuff.”

  Chase didn’t bother to dignify that comment with a snort. Her mind was already churning. “No wonder he seemed more charismatic.”

  “Oh no,” Thomasi whispered. “You don’t mean—”

  “Don’t say the name,” Chase interrupted. “We have stuff to figure out before we talk about him, because once we talk about him, we’ll have to do something about him. Okay. Tell them what you told us about dragon eggs, please.”

  Vitale nodded, wisps of steam leaking through the holes around his neck. “The empire was vast; this you know. The Legio Fulminata studied the mysteries of science and magic and nature. This you may or may not know. And as the Empire expanded, and we were forced to deal with the new dungeons that came with new land, so did the Fulminata conduct an examination into their causes and nature. And eventually, they found a way to destroy them.

  “That was how the first of the dragon wars began.”

  Sir Barriano sucked in a sharp breath.

  “Half the empire burned,” Vitale said, nodding at the Knight’s reaction. “Eventually we invoked Concord for intercession, and an agreement was forged. Which is why your position exists even to this day. To guard the dungeons of Gnome and protect them while the dragons within absorb the blood and magic and emotions of their visitors and feed and grow.”

  “What happens when they hatch?” Thomasi asked.

  “It is less violent than you would think. A newly-born dragon emerges, and the strong survive to flee to a place where they can rest and grow and learn to feed upon the things of this world. The dungeon stands empty, a shell of what it was. It is the presence of the unborn dragon that shapes them into what they are, without the egg they are simply mundane locations.”

  “And by accepting dragon eggs throughout the capital, you protect it from dragons... while helping them grow to adulthood,” Chase nodded.

  “It is why these places of antiquity survived,” Vitale gestured around to the walls of the Basilica. “Every new Ruler of Gnome is taught the truth. But since the method of stealing dragon eggs was lost when the last of the Legio Fulminata departed for Icantseeum, it is a moot point. Most know not how to steal a dragon egg. And until today I thought that none knew how to corrupt one.”

  Chase swallowed. “Renny knew how to seal them. It’s common knowledge where he comes from.”

  Vitale surveyed her, glass eyes winking in the light. “Then I expect that when the dragons in his part of the world learn of that, his land will burn.”

  “So what do we do about the corrupted egg?” Cagna asked. “That’s the real problem here. That’s the thing that’s probably going to destroy the world, right?”

  “I think so,” Chase said. “Corinthia said that her shadow would grow to destroy the world in... about two days’ time, now. I knew it couldn’t be the green dragon, because that one’s male. I thought it was Madeline for a bit, but now that I’ve met her, I’m pretty sure she isn’t a world-destroying threat. But this thing? I’m willing to bet that what hatches out of there is female. And that black mass sure looks like a shadow.”

  “So how do we stop that?” The Muscle Wizaard asked.

  “I don’t know. I wish I did,” Chase sighed.

  “We muster all the forces and advantages we can, and we fight,” Sir Barriano said. “My strategy seems to be the soundest approach, even if some tactical modifications are required.”

  “What are you exactly?” Chase squinted at him. “You’re more than just a Knight.”

  “I’m a Knight Commander,” he said simply. “I strengthen my sworn soldiers.”

  Cagna whistled. “You’re probably our best bet, here. And Vitale can only lend his full assistance if you’re in charge... or that other player. Who I doubt has a more legitimate claim.”

  “He doesn’t,” Chase said, then took a deep breath. “And I think he’s Pwner.”

  Oh, THAT caused a fuss.

  Sir Barriano’s eyes blazed with fury. “Of course!”

  Cagna pulled out her pistol and started loading it, growling deep in her throat.

  Bastien glowered and pounded one fist into an open palm with a meaty smack.

  Dijornos laughed his butt off.

  And Greta spewed curses. Chase winced. They’d both come far from the village, but Greta it seemed, had spent quite a lot of time with foul-mouthed people.

  “Twice someone attempted my life!” Sir Barriano spat. “Once through poisoned food! Then again through a bomb in my stable! I lost three of my best steeds that day!”

  “And they both happened after I joined your party. Which is why you survived untouched,” Thomasi nodded grimly.

  “Wait,” Chase frowned. “Pwner killed you before, Thomasi. That time in the cave...”

  “I had my pvp option flagged then,” Thomasi confessed.

  “What? Why would you do that?” Bastien asked.

  “I had to! There was no other way to steal Tabita’s pelt from her,” Thomasi sighed. “I was easy game then. But now I’m protected from him... as is anyone I group with, unless Sir Barriano attempts to harm him, or anyone in a party with him. Then it activates.”

  “Yeah it’s a pretty weird and finicky system,” Dijornos said. “I think the programmers half-assed it.”

  “That’s my world you’re talking about here,” Chase protested, but it was a token statement. Her mind was working. “We need to find him. And either convince him to drop his claim, leave, or...”

  “Or,” Dijornos grinned, and slapped The Muscle Wizaard and Cagna’s backs. They staggered forward and shot him simultaneous glares. “Or we kill him.”

  “Can we?” Chase said. “Every time we’ve come up against him, he’s been an unstoppable force. It’s been all we can do to survive his attacks.”

  “His attacks,” Thomasi said, rubbing his goatee. “But I know his type. He’s an ambush predator. If we can find him, we can turn the tables. At the very least, negotiate from a stronger position, if he’s amenable to talking it through.”

  Cagna growled louder.

  “How do we find him?” Bastien asked. “You were unconscious, dear. And you...” he turned to Chase. “They took you and Renny in a bag, right? You didn’t
see where his lair was.”

  “No, I didn’t,” Chase said. Then she turned to Yubai, and grinned wide. “But I know someone who did.”

  “Best prices?” Yubai asked, looking puzzled.

  “I sure hope so!” Chase said, patting his leg.

  “Even beyond that, we’ll need one more thing,” Vitale rumbled.

  “What’s that?” Greta asked.

  “We’ll need the green dragon’s help.”

  A pause.

  “Did you miss the part where we just burned down the Inquisition’s headquarters and killed their boss? Because we just burned down their headquarters and killed their boss. Why would he help us?” Chase asked.

  “He came here to stop the corrupted egg from hatching. Our goals are the same,” Vitale said, leaning on his spear again. “And without his knowledge and power, I doubt we shall be able to stop the corrupted egg from hatching, much less deal with what comes out if it does.”

  “You’re not wrong,” Chase took off her headscarf and rubbed her ears. “But he has no reason to trust us or not to burn us on sight. We need to bring him to the table, not the battlefield. So... how...”

  “And we need to do it fast,” Greta said, peering out the window. “I’m seeing less dragonfire in the sky. I think Madeline’s running out of steam.”

  “She’s still all right in the party screen. Party Screen,” Chase said, checking it again just to be sure. “Oh. Uh, okay, she’s down a bit... and so’s Renny. Yeah, we’d better wrap this up quickly.”

  “If she’s smart, she’ll fly over some of the monuments and use them as cover,” Vitale said. “The dragon would answer to his own kin if he dared to burn one of their eggs.”

  His words dropped into Chase’s mind like anvils from the sky.

  The halven’s eyes went wide.

  INT+1

  “That’s it!” She said, clapping her hands together. “That’s how we’ll bring him to the table! Thomasi, I need you to seal a dungeon.”

  More uproar, this time from Vitale, and the metal men behind him. The beastkin mostly looked confused. The automata with the horned helmet blew angry bugle noises.

  “No no no shut up, look!” Chase snapped, raising her arms. “The dragon’s ALREADY burning your empire! He’s breaking the treaty! So you scoop out one of the crystals, and we’ll use it as leverage to negotiate a new truce!”

  Vitale was quivering. “This... goes against... my mandatum. You don’t understand... that I’m trying very hard... not to kill you for threatening the laws and stability of Gnome.”

  Chase gulped.

  But she was in it now, and the only way was through.

  “He already threatens the stability of Gnome,” she said, softly. “And we’re not really going to damage the egg. We’re just going to lie and say that we will if he doesn’t settle down.”

  Vitale thought, the gears literally turning in his head.

  “You would need a king of liars,” he said finally.

  “Well then!” Thomasi said, stepping forward and setting his hand on Chase’s shoulder. “How about a king and a queen?”

  “You’re blushing,” Greta said in the silence.

  “Shut up, I am not!” Chase snapped.

  Every eye in the room moved down to stare at her cheeks, then back up. Beneath them were so, so many knowing smiles.

  “She is good. I almost believed that,” Sir Barriano said. “I was staring at the proof otherwise, yet she sounded reasonable.”

  CHA+1

  Chase angrily swatted Thomasi’s hand off her shoulder.

  “She is good,” Thomasi said. “The two of us working together... I think we can pull it off.”

  “That just leaves the small matter of getting the dragon’s egg,” Greta pointed out. “How long does that take?”

  “Mayhap too long,” Sir Barriano sighed. “The closest one is beneath our feet. But it is long, and the foes are fierce.”

  “You don’t say?” Dijornos purred, flexing his arms. “I’m down.”

  “As are my legio,” said Vitale, seemingly coming to a decision. “We will go with you to ensure that you keep your word. Although I should point out this will leave the bones of the goddess Cymbal exposed and easy prey for Necromancers and their ilk. Perhaps we could run the Horreareum instead, that might be more useful—”

  “Hold on,” Chase said, a brilliant and awful idea sparking in the back of her mind. “No. No, you should run through the Basilica. I have an idea that you won’t like, but it might be a good desperation move.”

  “Oh?” Sir Barriano looked at her with curiosity.

  But she kept her eyes on Vitale as she shook her head. “No. He almost stabbed me after the last one. Best to keep this one quiet for now.”

  “All right, then that leaves Pwner. And not much time,” Cagna said.

  Chase nodded. “Then we’d best divide up into teams and get this done as soon as possible...”

  CHAPTER 26: PWNING YOUR MISTAKES

  “Well. I didn’t expect that,” Chase said.

  “What?” Cagna asked.

  “It’s simpler than we thought,” Chase said, sweeping her cards back into their case. “Come on.”

  And with that she walked straight up to the front door of the unassuming house and knocked.

  There was no answer.

  She knocked again, then sat on the stoop with her back to the door and waited.

  Snap.

  Snap-click.

  Clunk.

  THUD.

  Across the way, she saw the curtains twitch, and waved a cautioning hand. “It’s all right! He can’t do anything to me.”

  “You’re betting your life on that,” Pwner said from behind her.

  “Yeah well, I’m a Gambler. It comes with the territory.” She turned, smiled at him as she saw the various undone locks and latches on the now-open door.

  He stood there in his Plague Doctor’s mask and cowl, leaning against the doorframe.

  But his shoulders were sagging. She couldn’t see his face, but his body language screamed exhaustion. He was tired; she could tell.

  “Well.” He said after an awkward moment. “You come to help, or to gloat?”

  “What?” Chase blinked.

  “You don’t know? Shazz. No. No, you don’t.” He took the mask off, and his eyes were reddened, lined with veins. “Come in. Please.”

  Chase stood, then looked over her shoulder. “My friends will kill me if I go in alone.”

  “Frackin... fine. They can come too. Bring a goddamn parade, I don’t care. Doesn’t matter now.”

  “Give me a minute.” Chase walked back to the house across the street, opened the door, and said, “I think it’s fine. Come on.”

  “You’re sure about this?” Cagna asked, her eyes glued to the crack in the curtain, and her arms around the long musket that Sir Barriano had loaned her.

  “There’s not much he can do against us, as long as we don’t get dumb. Still, we shouldn’t bring everyone in.”

  Cagna nodded. “Give me a minute, I’ll go tell Yubai that he can come out of the tunnel.”

  “I mislike this,” Sir Barriano said from the kitchen.

  “Duly noted,” Chase said. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

  “If you say it’s fine, then it’s fine,” Bastien rumbled, moving up to stand behind her. “You took us this far.”

  “Thank you.” Chase said, giving his leg a pat. “All right. Let’s go. If we wait too long, he’ll think we’re up to shenanigans.”

  The four of them trooped across the street. Pwner watched them come with his bloodshot eyes. But he’d tucked the bomb away, and Chase counted that a win.

  Wordlessly he turned and led them inside. Up the small staircase to the cluttered workshop that Chase remembered. Then across the way to where a small figure was tied to a chair.

  A small, furry figure who hissed and tried to spit through her gag as soon as she saw Pwner.

  “Is that...
is that Carmina?” Chase gasped.

  The catgirl had shrunk.

  And sorrow crept up from her stomach as she realized what happened.

  “I told her to run. I frackin’ told her to run!” Pwner slammed his fist into the desk so hard that a red ‘12’ rolled up from him.

  “I’m sorry,” Chase said. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Why are you sorry?” he roared, and Cagna and Sir Barriano stepped back and drew blades. “I tried to kill you! Why are you sorry? Makes no sense. Makes no... goddamn sense...” his voice softened on the last few words, and he turned away, but not before Chase saw his eyes brim with tears.

  “I can’t fix her,” Chase said simply. “I would if I could. I’m sorry. No one deserves this.”

  Carmina was rocking back and forth on the chair now, and a chain fell out of the mass that wrapped her and held her still.

  “Are those going to hold her?” Cagna asked.

  “Not for long. Carmy got mad agility and dexterity, even when she been nerfed,” Pwner said, after he got ahold of himself. He shook his head and continued. “So you got no way to fix her?”

  “No. Can you take her gag off?” Chase asked.

  He pressed his lips together, so tightly that his mouth paled. But he did so.

  The second the gag was out, she bit at his hands and hissed. “Murderer! You killed the lady! You horrible human!”

  “Hey,” Chase said.

  Carmina howled, and rocked the chair, trying to bring its legs down on Pwner’s feet. He stepped back, lips quivering.

  “I’ll kill you! I’ll make tightropes out of your guts! I’ll eat your heart and use your skull as a toilet! Raaaaaaaggggghhhh!”

  “Hey!” Chase said, pushing between Pwner and Carmina. “Hey. Listen. Listen for a second.”

  The catgirl’s maddened, tiny eyes fixed on Chase. “What?”

  “Do you hate us, or just him?”

  “Him! He killed the mistress! He killed her!”

  “So we’re fine, then?”

  “Sure, whatever, now move so I can get him! No toe left unflattened! Grrrrrr!”