Last Chance

by Lauren Runow

  “You suck. You know that, right?” she grunts as she goes inside.

  “Don't hate me. I’m not the one who wrote it,” I tease. She sticks out her tongue.

  We sit at a corner table and order drinks, listening to someone perform a song I don’t recognize but oddly enjoy. I always figured these places would be full of awful singers who couldn’t carry a tune, but this guy’s not bad.

  I enjoy watching Mackenzie nervously chew her bottom lip as she waits for the inevitable.

  “Don’t be nervous.” I lean over to whisper in her ear.

  “Will you do it too?” she asks hopefully.

  “If you do it, so will I. I’m here to support you, but there’s no way I’m going first, just in case you bail on me.”

  Her knees start to bounce, and I cover them with my hand. “You got this. You don’t know a single soul in this bar. Just go up there, close your eyes, and sing your heart out.”

  “But what am I going to sing?”

  I point at the lineup posted on the electronic screen “I signed us up earlier, and you’re third in line.”

  Her eyes widen as she backs away from me. “I’m going to throw up.”

  I laugh, taking her hand away from her mouth. “No you’re not. Now breathe, drink, and get ready.” I motion for the waiter to bring us another round.

  “But what if I don’t know the words?”

  “Believe me, you do. I’ve watched you sing every word.”

  “Of what song?” she whines.

  “My Church.”

  “By Maren Morris?” she asks. “That’s song’s insanely hard with the high notes.”

  I quiet her by giving her a kiss. “You’ll do just fine. Drink up, you’re only two away now.”

  The next few minutes are spent with Mackenzie shaking her knee hard enough that she’s hit the table multiple times. It’s cute to see her nervous.

  When I reach for her hand I’m rewarded with the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. Her shoulders drop and she takes a deep breath, like just the touch of my hand calmed her completely. I’ve never felt so powerful, so full of life as I do in this moment.

  My mom taught me how to be a good man for my future wife. She’d talk about how I should be supportive to the one I love. I never understood what she meant until right now, holding Mackenzie’s hand, giving her the strength she needs to face her fears. It’s a feeling I never want to let go.

  They call her name and she stands, walking toward the stage, not looking back until she’s seated on the stool next to the microphone.

  Mackenzie

  I can’t believe I’m going to do this. Holllyyy Shiiiitttt, I scream in my head, terrified until my eyes meet Connor’s, at which point I calm instantly.

  When the guitar riff and clapping begins, I let the music wash over me, keeping my eyes closed and start to sing without having to read the words on the screen. I’ve sung this song a thousand times—in the shower, driving in the car. When the song belts out hallelujah, I feel it deep in my soul. I let every word touch me, engulf me in its meaning and free my heart like I imagine the Holy Spirit would.

  I end, singing, “My church,” drawn out, loving the rush flowing through me.

  Applause erupts, surprising the hell out of me. Right in the middle of it is Connor with the most amazing smile spreading across his face.

  I thank everyone, completely embarrassed, and step off the stage, eager to get back to my table where I can breathe again.

  “Wow, that was amazing. I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that,” the DJ says, “but good luck, because we have Connor Hayden up next. Is Connor here?”

  He winks, standing up with all the confidence in the world, like he’s not phased one bit.

  “Well, it looks like it’s the lovely lady’s boyfriend, so let’s hope he doesn’t outshine her, or I’d say he’s not getting laid tonight,” the DJ jokes, and the crowd laughs in response.

  The way he sits on the stool, so sure of himself, holding the microphone, ready as ever, makes me fall that much more in love with him.

  The song begins with talking about the moon, and my heart flutters. He’s not only singing on stage to support me, but he’s singing a country song. One that I’ve played for him and we talked about, but to hear him sing it now is breathtaking.

  As he belts out the words to Black by Dierks Bentley, chills run up my spine. I can tell he’s practiced, preparing for this moment.

  His voice is sultry, demanding, and absolutely incredible. Every word he sings pierces my heart. I can barely breathe as he holds the word, “Black,” letting it fluctuate for four seconds before letting go.

  We never look away from each other. It’s like he’s singing the song only to me, and the room is otherwise empty. When it ends, the crowd jumps up again, applauding his performance the same way they did mine. I run to him on stage, wrapping my hands around his neck and pressing my lips against his.

  “Yeah, he’s getting laid tonight. No. Doubt,” the DJ says, making us break apart and laugh along with the crowd.

  “Want to get out of here?” he whispers in my ear.

  Without a word, I hold his hand and lead us out the door. The DJ is quick to play a bow-chicka-wow-wow type beat, and I nod my approval of his song choice as we exit hand in hand.

  “I’m going to grab some stuff and then I’ll be up,” I say to Connor when the elevator dings to my floor of our apartment building.

  “Don’t be too long.” His eyebrows raise making my insides tingle.

  I laugh off his effect on me, and head to my door, trying to be quiet so I don’t wake my roommates. When the door swings open I’m greeted by the three of them sitting on the couch looking directly at me.

  “Oh, hi. I didn’t think you guys would be awake.” I scan the room and an uneasy feeling settles in my stomach. “Everything okay?”

  Chantel sighs. “Do you have a minute?”

  “Yeah, of course. I was just grabbing some things to head up to Connor’s but yeah, I mean, sure.” I’m rambling but the look on their faces is making my nerves run wild. I sit across from them.

  “We’ve been talking, and on some point it’s none of our business, but on the other hand we’re uneasy knowing you lied to us,” Chantel states, unsure.

  I glance at Katy and Robin, but both seem just as nervous as I am. Silence surrounds us.

  “I went to where you said you worked today. Where you said you’ve worked for awhile now,” Katy says, uneasy in her statement. “They said they had no clue who you were.”

  Shit. My head falls back on the couch as I fight the tears filling my eyes. I won’t cry.

  “We just want to know why you’re lying to us?” Robin asks.

  “Because I’m sick,” I choke out, closing my eyes.

  When I open them, all three girls are staring back at me with shock and question covering their faces.

  “You’re sick?” Katy whispers, like she’s afraid to say it out loud. “That’s why you’re lying about where you work?”

  I fill them in on my prognosis, as well as the real reason why I moved to San Francisco, and where I’ve been every day up until the study was cancelled.

  Their faces remind me of why I kept this a secret.

  “I’m so sorry, Kenzie,” Chantel says, coming to sit next to me and giving me a hug.

  “I hope you understand why I didn’t want you guys to know. No one really knows.”

  “Does Connor know?” Robin asks.

  I tell them about Tracy, how she told him and how he’s helping me check items off my bucket list.

  Sharing these last few weeks with them remind me why I made this silly list. Sometimes in the darkest clouds, rays of sunshine still shine through and their faces prove that. Connor has proved that ten fold.

  I feel better now that I’ve told them. I never liked lying about where I was, but I hope things won’t change between us. Connor doesn’t understand why I don’t want to tell people so maybe he’s right. I sh
ouldn’t be afraid anymore. All that does is hold me back and I want to live the best life I can.

  20

  Dear Diary,

  I haven’t written in a bit. I’m actually feeling really good right now about everything. Connor is perfect. He almost has me believing he’s not constantly thinking about my condition, and he wants to spend as much time with me as he can because he wants to, not because he feels he has to. I couldn’t be happier.

  Mackenzie

  Connor

  This list has the funniest things on it. Some are as simple as go to a football or baseball game, while others definitely take some planning. I’ve been able to help her cross a few things off, and each time I attempt to surprise her in the process.

  It takes all the fun out of it if these things are planned. The reason she’s doing this is because she wants to experience real life, doing things everyone experiences at least once in their lifetime. I want them to happen in a natural way, as they would in anyone’s life. Spontaneously.

  One of the more interesting things on her list was singing in the rain. When my friend told me of a commercial shoot filming in a small town not far from here that was using a rain machine, I knew this was my chance.

  I’m sure sneaking onto their set is frowned on, so I contacted the production company and told them exactly what’s going on. Not only were they on board, they took it a step further and helped me set it up, asking if they could film it.

  Everything was lining up perfectly.

  Once I get Mackenzie in the car, she turns to me. “So where are we going? Why are you being so secretive?”

  I wink at her. “Because that’s the fun of it.” She playfully huffs in her seat before turning the radio to a country station. I squint my eyes at her. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

  She laughs and turns it up louder, singing every word to the song I’ve never heard.

  An hour later, we pull into a small city with their downtown completely blocked off. Mackenzie looks around having no idea what’s going on.

  After helping her out of the car, we head toward a security guard, who’s standing watch on the set.

  “I’m sorry, this is a restricted area,” he says as we approach.

  “I’m here to meet Rick Strickland,” I say, glancing at Mackenzie and loving the expression on her face.

  “Are you Connor Hayden?”

  “Sure am.” I smile brightly.

  He moves the barrier and lets us enter, pointing to where we can meet Rick.

  “Who’s Rick? What’s going on?” she asks, pulling my arm closer.

  “You’ll see.” I shrug and laugh out loud when she hits my arm.

  Two directors’ chairs are set up at the side of the set, a red umbrella resting against one of them. Guiding her in that direction, I have her sit in a chair and take the one next to her.

  A camera is directly in front of us, and the rain machine is tilted above our head.

  People run around, moving lights, taping down cords, and making sure sandbags are set properly so things don’t tip over.

  Rick wanted it to be as much of a surprise as possible so he could catch her natural reaction. I’ve been told to sit here until the music starts. A man catches my eye, then nods at someone else.

  I glance at Mackenzie. She’s enthralled with everything, and I take the opportunity to grab the umbrella and get ready for my big moment.

  “What’s going on?” she asks. “Where are we?”

  I hold a finger to my lips, motioning for her to look at where I see Rick moving behind a camera.

  “Action,” is yelled, and suddenly raindrops fall from the sky.

  I give her the umbrella as Gene Kelly sings Singing in the Rain over the speakers.

  Without missing a beat, I stand and stick my hands in my pockets, mimicking the famous movie, strolling around, acting like I don’t have a care in the world as the rain pours down.

  Instead of pretending to dance with an umbrella, like he does in the movie, I reach for her hand, asking her to dance with me.

  With the biggest smile on her face, she drops the umbrella and joins me on the makeshift dance floor. I swing her around, and we dance in the rain without a care in the world, getting absolutely soaked and loving every second.

  Toward the end of the song, I swing her around, take the umbrella from her, and open it, holding it above us. I kiss her like I’ve been dying to kiss her for the past three minutes.

  The joy on her face, and the way she jumps to me, wrapping her arms around my neck, brings more happiness to my life than I’ve ever experienced. She truly is my everything.

  The song fades, as does the rain. Someone yells, “Cut,” and we break away from our kiss. Mackenzie laughs an amazing laugh.

  “How did you?” she asks, her eyes beaming with excitement.

  Rick holds his hand out. “Connor, I presume, and this must be Mackenzie.”

  She shines brightly, even though she’s soaking wet. “Yes, that’s me,” she says.

  “That was perfect. You two are amazing. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to film it.”

  “You filmed us?” she asks in shock.

  “Yup,” I reply with pride. “He wants it to go viral. I told him my idea, and he thought other people would enjoy seeing it too. After their commercial goes live, they want to post it online.”

  “Connor,” she says breathlessly, holding onto my arm and pressing her head to my shoulder.

  “We got some great pics too. I’ll send those as soon as I can.”

  “Rick,” I hold out my hand again. “Thank you for doing this.”

  “It was my honor. You guys are welcome to hang out and watch the rest of the shoot.”

  Someone calls him away, and we say our goodbyes, taking our seats again.

  “I can’t believe you did this. How in the world?” she asks in awe.

  “It took some work, but I wanted to make it special.”

  She leans in, kissing me sweetly. “It was perfect. Thank you.”

  21

  Dear Diary,

  My life has been filled with one adventure after another. Connor has surprised me with trips, dates and little things here and there that have checked off almost every box on my list. How did I get so lucky to have him in my life?

  Mackenzie

  Connor

  “Here, I bought you something for our trip tomorrow.” I hand Mackenzie a bag containing a snow jacket and pants along with other snow gear.

  I’ve tried to check off things on Mackenzie’s list but what I have planned tomorrow was an idea of my own. It’s something that means a lot to me, and I want to share it with the woman I love.

  She takes the matching set out of the bag and eyes me suspiciously. “You’re taking me to the snow?”

  “Yup. We’re going to Tahoe to go skiing.” I smile.

  Her face is anything but a smile. “Um, that's not on my list. I don’t know how and, honestly, I’m terrified to even try.”

  “Well, it’s on my list and I think you’ll love it. Come on. Let’s get packed and we can head up tonight. I booked us a room so we don’t have to get up early tomorrow.”

  “But Connor. I don’t—”

  “Do you trust me?” I wrap my arms around her waist.

  “Of course I do but—”

  “Then no buts. Let’s get ready to leave.” I kiss her lips briefly and walk away, leaving no room for discussion.

  The entire way up I catch her biting her inner lip or nervously shaking her leg. I place my hand on hers. “Why are you so anxious?”

  She lets out a small laugh. “It’s scary. What if I get out of control? What if I crash into a tree?”

  “I promise I won’t let that happen. I’ll be right be your side the entire way.”

  “But.” She looks out the door, wrapping her arms around her waist. “It’s cold.”

  I chuckle under my breath. “Yes, it’s snow. It has to be cold but don’t worry. I bought you the best gear an
d even snuck in some hand and toe warmers to keep you more comfortable.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m being a wimp,” she huffs.

  I run my fingers over hers. “Yes, you are but it’s okay. I get it. Please just tell me you’ll try. Skiing is my favorite thing to do and I want to share it with you.”

  Her shoulders drop. “You’re right. I’ll try my best.”

  “Nope, I changed my mind. I don’t want to do it. Can I ride that thing back down?” Mackenzie states falling to her side with her skis still connected to her legs and pointing at the chair lift.

  I click my skis off and sit down next to her. “This list is about getting you to try new things, right?”

  “Yes, but I very purposely left flying down a freezing mountain off.”

  I laugh out loud, loving her pouty lips and protesting spirit. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll let you quit if you let me put you between my legs and ride slowly down the mountain with me. Then you can go inside to enjoy an Irish Coffee and warm up.”

  She glances in the direction of the down slope then back at me and bites her lip. The way her nose is bright red along with her cheeks make me smile. She’s been a trooper so far, getting dressed and checking out her gear, so I only have this one last hurtle.

  She slumps slightly. “Fine. But please go slow.”

  I kiss her cold lips. “Deal. Let me help you up.”

  Once she’s standing, I position my skis around the back of her and straddle them on either side of hers. I take her poles in my hands and hold them in front of us so she has a straight line to hold on to.

  “I’m going to turn ever so slightly toward the bottom of the hill and our skis will slowly start to take us. I will move us in big sweeping turns so we go as slow as possible. Are you ready?”

  She doesn’t respond but shakes her head and tightens her grip on the poles. I’m saddened by her fear but also overjoyed that she’s putting so much trust in me.