MRS. LOVETT: Off. Off with you or you’ll get a kick on the rump that’ll make your teeth chatter!
BEGGAR WOMAN: Stuck up thing! You and your fancy airs!
(Shuffling off into the wings, sings)
Alms ... alms ...
For a desperate woman ...
(Exits. Music continues. MRS. LOVETT rings the bell to indicate her approach and starts climbing the stairs. At the sound of the bell, TODD alerts and snatches up a razor. The music becomes agitated. As MRS. LOVETT appears, he relaxes somewhat. MRS. LOVETT is now very proprietary towards him)
MRS. LOVETT: It’s not much of a chair, but it’ll do till you get your fancy new one. It was me poor Albert’s chair, it was. Sat in it all day long he did, after his leg give out from the dropsy.
(Surveying the room, music under)
Kinda bare, isn’t it? I never did like a bare room. Oh, well, we’ll find some nice little knickknacks.
TODD: Why doesn’t the Beadle come? “Before the week is out,” that’s what he said.
MRS. LOVETT: And who says the week’s out yet? It’s only Tuesday.
(As TODD paces restlessly, sings)
Easy now.
Hush, love, hush.
Don’t distress yourself,
What’s your rush?
Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush.
Wait.
(TODD continues to pace)
Hush, love, hush.
Think it through.
Once it bubbles,
Then what’s to do?
Watch it close.
Let it brew.
Wait.
(Looking round, cheerfully, as TODD grows calmer)
I’ve been thinking, flowers —
Maybe daisies —
To brighten up the room.
Don’t you think some flowers,
Pretty daisies,
Might relieve the gloom?
(As TODD doesn’t respond)
Ah, wait, love, wait.
(Music continues under)
TODD (Intensely): And the Judge? When will I get him?
MRS. LOVETT: Can’t you think of nothing else? Always broodin’ away on yer wrongs what happened heaven knows how many years ago —
(TODD turns away violently with a hiss)
Slow, love, slow.
Time’s so fast.
Now goes quickly —
See, now it’s past!
Soon will come.
Soon will last.
Wait.
(TODD grows calm again)
Don’t you know, Silly man, Half the fun is to Plan the plan? All good things come to Those who can Wait.
(Looking around the room again)
Gillyflowers, maybe,
’Stead of daisies ...
I don’t know, though ...
What do you think?
TODD (Docilely): Yes.
MRS. LOVETT (Gently taking the razor from him): Gillyflowers,
I’d say. Nothing like a nice bowl of gillies.
(Music stops. During the above, we have seen ANTHONY moving down the street. He sees the sign and stops. He goes to the bell and rings it, then starts running up the stairs. The effect on TODD is electric. Even MRS. LOVETT, affected by his tension, alerts. She hastily gives him back the razor. ANTHONY bursts in enthusiastically)
TODD: Anthony.
ANTHONY: Mr. Todd. I’ve paced Fleet Street a dozen times with no success. But now the sign! In business already.
TODD: Yes.
ANTHONY: I congratulate you.
( Turning to MRS. LOVETT)
And ... er ...
MRS. LOVETT: Mrs. Lovett, sir.
ANTHONY A pleasure, ma’am. Oh, Mr. Todd, I have so much to tell you. I have found the fairest and most loving maid that any man could dream of! And yet there are problems. She has a guardian so tyrannical that she is kept shut up from human eye. But now this morning this key fell from her shuttered window.
(He holds up JOHANNA’s key)
The surest sign that Johanna loves me and ...
MRS. LOVETT: Johanna?
ANTHONY: That’s her name, ma’am, and Turpin that of the abominable parent. A judge, it seems. But, as I said, a monstrous tyrant. Oh Mr. Todd, once the Judge has gone to court, I’ll slip into the house and plead with her to fly with me tonight. Yet when I have her — where can I bring her till I have hired a coach to speed us home to Plymouth? Oh Mr. Todd, if I could lodge her here just for an hour or two!
(He gazes at the inscrutable TODD)
MRS. LOVETT (After a beat): Bring her, dear.
ANTHONY: Oh thank you, thank you, ma’am.
(To TODD)
I have your consent, Mr. Todd?
TODD (After a pause): The girl may come.
(ANTHONY grabs his hand and pumps it, then turns to grab MRS. LOVETT’s)
ANTHONY: I shall be grateful for this to the grave. Now I must hurry, for surely the Judge is off to the Old Bailey.
(Turning at the door)
My thanks! A thousand blessings on you both!
(He hurries out and down the stairs)
MRS. LOVETT: Johanna! Who’d have thought it! It’s like Fate, isn’t it? You’ll have her back before the day is out.
TODD: For a few hours? Before he carries her off to the other end of England?
MRS. LOVETT: Oh, that sailor! Let him bring her here and then, since you’re so hot for a little ...
(Makes a throat-cutting gesture)
... that’s the throat to slit, dear. Oh Mr. T., we’ll make a lovely home for her. You and me. The poor thing! All those years and not a scrap of motherly affection! I’ll soon change that, I will, for if ever there was a maternal heart, it’s mine.
(During this speech PIRELLI, accompanied by TOBIAS, has appeared on the street. They see the sign and start up the stairs without ringing the bell. Now, as MRS. LOVETT goes to TODD coquettishly, PIRELLI and TOBIAS suddenly appear at the door. TODD pulls violently away from MRS. LOVETT)
PIRELLI (With Italianate bow): Good morning, Mr. Todd —and to you, bellissima signorina.
(He kisses MRS. LOVETT’s hand)
MRS. LOVETT: Well, ’ow do you do, signor, I’m sure.
PIRELLI: A little business with Mr. Todd, signora. Perhaps if you will give the permission?
MRS. LOVETT: Oh yes, indeed, I’ll just pop on down to my pies.
(Surveying TOBIAS)
Oh lawks, look at it now! Don’t look like it’s had a kind word since half past never!
(Smiling at him)
What would you say, son, to a nice juicy meat pie, eh? Your teeth is strong, I hope?
TOBIAS: Oh yes, ma’am.
MRS. LOVETT (Taking his hand): Then come with me, love.
(They start down the stairs to the shop)
PIRELLI: Mr. Todd.
TODD: Signor Pirelli.
PIRELLI (Reverting to Irish): Ow, call me Danny, Daniel O’Higgins’ the name when it’s not perfessional.
(Looks around the shop)
Not much, but I imagine you’ll pretty it up a bit.
(Holds out his hand)
I’d like me five quid back, if’n ya don’t mind.
TODD: Why?
(In the shop, MRS. LOVETT pats a stool for TOBIAS to sit down and hands him a piece of pie. He starts to eat greedily)
MRS. LOVETT: That’s my boy. Tuck in.
PIRELLI: It’ll hold me over till your customers start coming. Then it’s half your profits you’ll hand over to me every week on a Friday, share and share alike. All right ... Mr. Benjamin Barker?
TODD (Very quiet): Why do you call me that?
MRS. LOVETT (Stroking TOBIAS’s luxurious locks): At least you’ve got a nice full head of hair on you.
TODD: Well, ma‘am, to tell the truth, ma’am —
(He reaches up and pulls off the “locks” which are a wig, revealing his own short-cropped hair)
— gets awful ’ot.
(He continues to eat the pie.
PIRELLI strolls over to the washstand, picks up the razor, flicks it open)
PIRELLI: You don’t remember me. Why should you? I was just a down and out Irish lad you hired for a couple of weeks — sweeping up hair and such like —
(Holding up razor)
but I remember these — and you. Benjamin Barker, later transported to Botany Bay for life. So, Mr. Todd — is it a deal or do I run down the street for me pal Beadle Bamford?
(For a long moment TODD stands gazing at him)
PIRELLI (Sings, nastily):
You t’ink-a you smart,
You foolish-a boy.
Tomorrow you start
In my-a employ!
You unner-a-stan’?
You like-a my plan — ?
(Once again he hits his high note, and once again he is interrupted — TODD knocks the razor out of his hand and starts, in a protracted struggle, to strangle him)
TOBIAS (Downstairs, unaware of this): Oh gawd, he’s got an appointment with his tailor. If he’s late and it’s my fault — you don’t know him!
(He jumps up and starts out)
MRS. LOVETT: I wouldn’t want to, I’m sure, dear.
(TODD violently continues with the strangling)
TOBIAS (Calling on the stairs): Signor! It’s late! The tailor, sir.
(Remembering)
Oh, me wig!
(Runs back for it. Upstairs, TODD stops dead at the sound of the voice. He looks around wildly, sees the chest, runs to it, opens the lid and then drags PIRELLI to it and tumbles him in, slamming the lid shut just as TOBIAS enters. It is at this moment that we realize that one of PIRELI’s hands is dangling out of the chest)
Signor, I did like you said. I reminded you ... the tailor ... Ow, he ain’t here.
TODD: Signor Pirelli has been called away.
TOBIAS: Where did he go?
TODD: He didn’t say. You’d better run after him.
TOBIAS: Oh no, sir. Knowing him, sir, without orders to the contrary, I’d best wait for him here.
(He crosses to the chest and sits down on it, perilously near PIRELLI’s hand, which he doesn’t notice. TODD at this moment does, however. Suddenly he is all nervous smiles)
TODD: So Mrs. Lovett gave you a pie, did she, my lad?
TOBIAS : Oh yes, sir. She’s a real kind lady. One whole pie.
(As he speaks, his hand moves very close to PIRELLI’s hand)
TODD (Moving toward him): A whole pie, eh? That’s a treat. And yet, if I know a growing boy, there’s still room for more, eh?
TOBIAS: I’d say, sir.
(Patting his stomach)
An aching void.
(Once again his hand is on the edge of the chest, moving toward PIRELLI’s hand. Slowly now, we see the fingers of PIRELLI’s hand stirring, feebly trying to clutch TOBIAS’s hand. When it has almost reached him, TODD grabs TOBIAS up off the chest)
TODD: Then why don’t you run downstairs and wait for your master there? There’ll be another pie in it for you, I’m sure.
(Afterthought)
And tell Mrs. Lovett to give you a nice big tot of gin.
TOBIAS: Oo, sir! Gin, sir! Thanking you, sir, thanking you kindly. Gin! You’re a Christian indeed, sir!
(He runs down the stairs to MRS. LOVETT)
Oh, ma’am, the gentleman says to give me a nice tot of gin, ma’am.
MRS. LOVETT: Gin, dear? Why not?
(Upstairs, with great ferocity, TODD opens the chest, grabs the screaming PIRELLI by the hair, tugs him up from the chest and slashes his throat as, downstairs, MRS. LOVETT pours a glass of gin and hands it to TOBIAS. He takes it. The tableau freezes, then fades)
THREE TENORS (Enter and sing):
His hands were quick, his fingers strong.
It stung a little but not for long.
And those who thought him a simple clod
Were soon reconsidering under the sod,
Consigned there with a friendly prod
From Sweeney Todd,
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
See your razor gleam, Sweeney,
Feel how well it fits
As it floats across the throats
Of hypocrites ...
(The ballad ends on a crashing chord as the singers black out and light comes up on JUDGE TURPIN in full panoply of wig, robe, etc. He is about to convict a young boy)
JUDGE: This is the fourth time, sir, that you have been brought before this bench. Though it is my earnest wish ever to temper justice with mercy, your persistent dedication to a life of crime is such an abomination before God and man that I have no alternative but to sentence you to hang by the neck until you are dead.
(He produces the black cap and puts it on his head. As he does so the condemned prisoner is led away)
Court adjourned.
(During the following, the JUDGE removes cap, wig, and gown. To the BEADLE)
It is perhaps remiss of me to close the court so early, but the stench of those miserable wretches at the bar was so offensive to my nostrils I feared my eagerness for fresher air might well impair the soundness of my judgement.
(Light dims on the court and finds the JUDGE and the BEADLE now walking down a street together)
BEADLE: Well, sir, the adjournment is fortunate for me, sir, for it’s today we celebrate my sweet little Annie’s birthday, and to have her daddy back so soon to hug and kiss her will be her crowning joy on such a happy day.
JUDGE: It is a happy moment for me, too. Walk home with me for I have news for you. In order to shield her from the evils of this world, I have decided to marry Johanna next Monday.
BEADLE: Ah, sir, happy news indeed.
JUDGE: Strange, when I offered myself to her, she showed a certain reluctance. But that’s natural enough in a young girl. Now that she has had time for reflection, I’m sure she will greet my proposal in a more sensible frame of mind.
(Light leaves them and comes up on JOHANNA and ANTHONY in JOHANNA’s room. She is pacing in agitation and fear)
JOHANNA (Sings):
He means to marry me Monday,
What shall I do? I’d rather die.
ANTHONY (Sings):
I have a plan —
JOHANNA:
I’ll swallow poison on Sunday,
That’s what I’ll do, I’ll get some lye.
ANTHONY:
I have a plan —
JOHANNA (Stops pacing suddenly):
Oh, dear, was that a noise?
ANTHONY:
A plan —
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise.
ANTHONY:
A plan!
JOHANNA:
It couldn’t be,
He’s in court,
He’s in court today,
Still that was a noise,
Wasn’t that a noise?
You must have heard that —
ANTHONY:
Kiss me.
JOHANNA (Shyly):
Oh, sir ...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss ...
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir ...
(She turns away, agitatedly)
If he should marry me Monday,
What shall I do? I’ll die of grief.
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight —
JOHANNA:
’Tis Friday, virtually Sunday,
What can we do with time so brief?
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight —
JOHANNA:
Behind the curtain — quick!
ANTHONY:
Tonight —
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a click!
ANTHONY:
Tonight!
JOHANNA:
It was a gate! It’s the gate! We don’t have a gate. Still there was a — Wait! There’s another click! You must have heard that — If you’d only listen, miss, and — ANTHONY:
It’s not a gate. There’s no gate, You don’t have a gate.
ANTHO
NY:
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Tonight?
ANTHONY:
Kiss me.
JOHANNA:
You mean tonight?
ANTHONY:
The plan is made.
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
ANTHONY:
So kiss me.
JOHANNA:
I feel a fright.
ANTHONY:
Be not afraid.
JOHANNA: ANTHONY:
Sir, I did Love you even as I Saw you, even as it Did not matter that I Did not know your name. Tonight I’ll Steal You, Johanna, I’ll steal you ...
ANTHONY:
It’s me you’ll marry on Monday,
That’s what you’ll do!
JOHANNA:
And gladly, sir.
ANTHONY:
St. Dunstan’s, noon.
JOHANNA:
I knew I’d be with you one day, Even not knowing who you were. I feared you’d never come, That you’d been called away, That you’d been killed, Had the plague, Were in debtor’s jail, Trampled by a horse, Gone to sea again, Arrested by the — ANTHONY:
Ah, miss, Marry me, marry me, miss, Oh, marry me Monday! Favor me, favor me With your hand. Promise, Marry me, marry me, please, Oh, marry me Monday —
Four by Sondheim Page 29