by A. D. Ryan
“It’s really nothing,” she tried to tell me. “I just realized that in the year and a half that you and Dane were together, you never talked about him like this. I mean, you talked about him, but it wasn’t with this much emotion. Usually you’d complain about how he didn’t clean up after himself, or how much of a dick he was being.” She paused. “But, with Jensen. I don’t know, you just light up.”
I shook my head. “He’s a good guy, but we’re just fooling around.” I paused. “Or, we would be if it weren’t for my stupid ribs.”
“I still can’t believe you haven’t slept with him.”
I scoffed. “Believe me. It isn’t for lack of trying or wanting to.”
“Still,” Willow said. “You like him.”
“Sure. What’s not to like?” She held eye contact, her eyebrows arched as though to challenge me. “It’s just casual. Neither of us is ready for more. I want to let myself fall for him … I do,” I said, still trying to convince that one miniscule part of myself that he could be the right one for me. “I’m just afraid that we’d be moving too fast and that the attraction he feels will eventually fizzle out completely.”
“Madison, I’ve spent a little time with the guy, and I’d like to think I’m a pretty good judge of character.” Reaching across the table, she rested her hand over mine. “The way he talks about you, how his eyes shine every time I tell him something about you—no matter how silly or embarrassing…” I wanted to smack her for that one “I can tell he’s falling for you, but something is holding him back. While I know you guys want to keep things casual, I think the two of you coming together when you did was kismet.”
Our lunch arrived just then, giving me a few minutes to reflect on everything we’d talked about. Willow had said that something was holding Jensen back. I already knew about what he’d been through these last few years, but would that effect his outlook on relationships?
Or was he holding something else back?
Chapter 16. More to the Story
Sadness hung over me like a big gray cloud. I watched the orange Charger disappear into the distance, the tail lights swallowed up by the dust of the gravel road. Three days was never enough time, even if Willow promised to come and visit again soon. She even swore to bring Brandon, which was great, because it had been even longer since I had seen him.
“You going to be all right?” Jensen asked softly, coming up behind me and resting his head on my shoulder while his arms encircled me.
I basked in the feeling of being in his arms for a brief moment before working my way free and heading back into the house. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
Lost in thought, I found myself in the kitchen. “Hey,” Jensen said softly, following me. It was inevitable that he would be concerned. “Did I do something wrong?”
“What?” I asked incredulously. “No, of course not.”
The look on his face told me he wasn’t entirely convinced. “Are you sure? Because ever since you came back from your shopping trip, you’ve been … different.”
I closed the fridge, dropping my eyes from his shamefully. “You’re right.” When I looked back up, I saw fear in his eyes. “No!” I rushed to elaborate. “It’s nothing you did, though. It’s really all me.” Hearing this didn’t seem to alleviate any of the confusion in his expression, so I walked to him and took his hand in mine, leading him into the living room before sitting on the couch together.
“It’s just,” I said quietly before taking a steeling breath. “You know my recent history with relationships is … colorful. There haven’t been many and they were all longish.”
Offering me a smile, Jensen gave my hand a squeeze. A spark of electricity moved through me, igniting a fire deep within my belly that only Jensen was capable of. “We’ve only known each other just a little over a week,” I whispered, dropping my eyes to his hands encasing mine. “And yet, I feel so attracted to you.”
Jensen chuckled. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“Not at all,” I assured him. “But it’s stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before, and it’s a little scary.”
“Yeah,” he agreed softly. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“I know we’re just supposed to be having a good time, and I am—more than I thought I would—but I’ve been hurt.” Tears prickled my eyes as I spoke. “And I can’t help that I’m still terrified that it might happen again. I don’t know if you know this, but Dane used to work here. You filled the position after my dad fired him.”
“Oh?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It was all very similar to how you and I met. Dane got the job, moved into the house. We became friends over the course of the first few weeks. He was funny, charming. It was hard not to fall for his act, actually. One night, we both had entirely too much to drink, and we …” Jensen nodded his understanding, telling me with his eyes that he didn’t need me to elaborate further. “And, I guess from there we were just kind of together.”
“Kind of?” Jensen inquired, his eyebrows pushing together.
With a shrug, I carried on. “Things were good in the beginning.” I looked at Jensen and smiled sadly. “We were ‘having fun.’ Our relationship lasted about a year and a half before his behavior changed completely. He became incredibly possessive and angry, always apologizing afterward and saying how he didn’t mean to be that way. That I shouldn’t do things that I know provoke him. I suspected infidelity for a few weeks prior to our breakup, but never had the confirmation that I needed. Just my gut feelings. Not that they mattered much, because his slamming a fist through my wall was the last straw. I swear, if my dad had been within reaching distance of his shotgun …”
“He loves you,” Jensen said, reaching out a hand to cradle my face, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away a tear that had escaped without my realizing it.
“I guess the reason I’m telling you this is because it’s all happening so quickly. It’s familiar, and it scares me. I have these fears that are probably irrational, but they don’t feel that way to me. They’re very real, and the last thing I want to do is project them onto you. I just wanted to be honest.” I paused for a moment, biting my lower lip nervously. “And I want you to know that you can do the same.”
“What do you want to know?”
That seemed easier than I figured it would be. “When was your last relationship? Were you in love with her?”
He seemed reluctant as he raised an eyebrow and stared at me. “You really want to know this shit?”
“I really do. Unless you don’t want to talk about it.”
Jensen sighed. “The reason I left Houston, other than to get away from my past and be closer to the rest of my family, was because I broke off my engagement shortly after I’d been incarcerated.”
My eyes widened, and I think I even gasped. “Y-you were engaged?”
“Was,” he repeated with heavy emphasis. “Her name’s Kaylie. We were engaged for a little less than a year, together for just over two.”
Trying to push myself past the news that Jensen was engaged, I swallowed thickly. “Why did you break it off?” I managed to croak out with my increasingly dry throat.
“Is that really important?” Hard eyes penetrated mine, and I pulled my body away from his. His eyes softened with remorse immediately. “I’m sorry, it’s just kind of a sore spot.” With a nod, I moved my eyes to my hands as I pulled them from his and picked at my fingernails. Jensen exhaled heavily and slid closer to me again, using his forefinger on my chin to force my eyes to his. “About two weeks after I’d been sentenced, she found out she was pregnant. She came to visit me one Saturday and told me. I wasn’t sure how to feel. I mean, I’ve always wanted a family, and we were engaged to be married. Sure, the timing wasn’t really the greatest, given I was wearing an orange jumpsuit and trying to avoid becoming somebody’s bitch, but I figured we might be able to make it work. Three years wasn’t that long.”
“So what happened?”
Jensen sighed, running hi
s fingers through his hair before nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “I told her we could make it work, but she told me it was too late. She’d taken care of it.”
“She … took care of it?” His meaning hit me like a sack of bricks. “She terminated without you knowing?”
He nodded, his expression turning grim. “She’d always been on the fence about kids, but she said that having a violent offender for a father wasn’t something she’d wish upon a child. It didn’t seem to matter what triggered my violent outburst toward Robert.”
With Jensen’s tale of heartbreak fresh in my mind, we sat in silence. Willow had been right when she told me he had been through something; I just figured it was due to his sister’s attack a couple of years ago and his recent release. Never had I imagined he had been betrayed by the one person he planned to be with forever while serving a sentence for something he felt was justified.
Suddenly his reluctance to be in a relationship made sense.
Chapter 17. Revenge: Best Served Wet
“You’re sure you’re feeling okay enough to help out?” Jensen asked as we unlocked the barn door and stepped inside.
It had been a week since we talked everything out. I could tell by the way he stared at me that nothing between us had changed other than our agreement to begin anew.
Dad and Tom had left early for their fishing trip, stopping by to say goodbye and to make sure that Jensen and I were going to be all right without them around to babysit us. Dad still hadn’t said anything to confirm my suspicion of whether or not he knew anything. The way he watched us, though—even if we were on our best behavior all week—made me even more certain. Much to my surprise, he didn’t seem upset about it; he almost seemed pleased by it all.
I pushed the door open and stepped inside the dark barn before hitting the switch to raise the large door. “Your mom said my ribs look great, remember? If she’s not worried, then you shouldn’t be either.”
“It’s only been two and a half weeks,” Jensen countered.
“Are you a doctor?” Jensen shook his head in response, still uneasy about my being out here. “Well, your mom is. Look, if it makes you feel better, you can do all the hard labor, and I’ll fill the water buckets. Deal? I’ll ease my way back into things.”
“All right. But you don’t leave my sight.”
Shaking my head, I grabbed Glory’s lead and halter before opening her stall. “Always so damn overbearing,” I muttered teasingly.
Because it was only Jensen and me, it took a little longer to empty all the stalls, which made me happy we had yet to fill up the new barn. I couldn’t imagine having to clean out both of them with no one else around to help. Jensen worked to clean out the stalls while I hung out in the aisles, watching him and being sure to tell him when he missed a scrap of soiled straw. I knew he would get it; it was just so much more fun to point it out.
“If you don’t stop it, Landry, I will throw you in the water trough outside,” he threatened. His tone indicated that he was likely teasing, especially given that he was still highly protective of me in my condition.
“You would not,” I said, calling his bluff. “But, if it really bothers you, I’ll go and start filling the water buckets.”
“That would be wise.”
Rolling my eyes, I pushed myself off the stall door and grabbed a few empty buckets to take to the wash stall. Placing them all side-by-side, I put the hose in the first one and turned on the water to let it fill. As I waited, I thought back on the week, remembering all the sweet moments Jensen and I shared—not to mention all the lost naughty-time. Because of us starting over again, I couldn’t deny that it made me want him more. Absence making the heart grow fonder and all that other stuff I never believed until now.
Suddenly, there was a loud splash as the water overflowed onto the concrete floor. “Shit,” I muttered as it splashed my paddock boots and soaked my feet right through.
“Tsk, tsk, Landry,” Jensen scolded. With narrow eyes, I looked up to see him leaning against the outer corner of the wash stall. The smirk on his face was both cocky and teasing. “You shouldn’t be so wasteful of our natural resources. Do I need to supervise to make sure you do your job properly? Maybe you’re out of practice.”
Every mocking word out of his mouth pushed me closer to vengeance. I picked up the hose, moving it toward the next bucket, when a thought appeared out of the blue. “You know what, Davis? I’ve had just about enough of your cocky attitude. I think someone needs to remind you exactly who’s running the show around here.”
“Oh really?” he responded, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows confidently. “And just how exactly do you plan to put me in my place, little girl?”
Slowly, I moved my hand down to the nozzle and placed my thumb over it, causing the steady stream to spray quietly beneath the surface of the water.
“I’m waiting, Madison.”
I was certain he regretted those words as soon as he said them, because I lifted my hand from the bucket of cold water and sprayed him. It didn’t take him long to recover from the shock of my attack and lunge forward. I shrieked and laughed as I tried to keep the water focused on him.
“You are so dead!” he shouted, reaching for me as I evaded him around the three buckets that sat in the middle of the stall. The floor was soaked, and we splashed around in the puddles my genius plan had caused. Jensen must have had trouble seeing through the continual spray of water in his face, because I was able to keep him from retaliating for a few more laps around the small room.
I should have known that my dumb luck would end my reign of power over him, though. The hose wrapped around the three buckets, knocking them all over and causing more water to puddle on the concrete floor. Thankfully, most of it flowed to the drain beneath the wash sink, because I wasn’t sure how we would explain flooding the barn to my father. I tried jumping over one of the buckets, but Jensen saw my move and shifted to head the other way, catching me quickly and grabbing at the hose. I laughed hysterically and tried to hold on to it.
“Give it here!” he demanded through his own laughter.
“Neverrrrr!” I cried out, pointing the nozzle at his face briefly before he gained control and pointed it at my chest, effectively soaking my white tank top. It would be safe to assume I didn’t expect a full-out water fight when I got dressed that morning.
Because of Jensen’s size and his being stronger than me (which I would deny admitting to my death if he ever heard that), he managed to snake the green hose from my grasp and turned it on me again.
“I surrender!” I continued to laugh, the cold water assaulting me from all angles as he held me in place. His left arm was still wrapped around me so I couldn’t get away.
“Oh, I don’t think so. You fight dirty,” he snarled menacingly.
Snickering, I wiped the beads of water from my face, only to have them replaced by new ones when he refused to relent. “Actually, being water, I’d say it’s quite the opposite!” I sputtered through the continual spray and my giggles.
“Always a smartass, aren’t you? Say you’re sorry!” he commanded, stuffing the hose up the back of my shirt so the cold water would shoot up my spine. I screamed and arched my back until my breasts were pressed firmly against his chest.
He’d already accused me of fighting dirty, so what I was about to do—while completely evil—was the only way I was going to get out of his hold. “Ow!” I cried, only once, and he recoiled in an instant, completely horrified by what he thought he’d done.
After removing the hose from the back of my shirt and releasing his hold on me, I bent over, playing it up a little before I struck again. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry! Are you—?”
I moved quickly, snatching the hose from him and spraying him all over again. “I can’t believe you fell for that!”
Jensen didn’t move. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t react at all. What he did do was stand as still as a statue as the smile fell from my face. I let my arm fall to m
y side, the water spilling out onto the floor.
“That wasn’t funny,” he said, the tone in his voice clearly indicating his hurt over what I had done.
Guilt settled in my gut like a lead weight. I took a step forward, loosening my grip on the hose to let it drop to the floor as I apologized. “You’re right. I’m so sorr—”
Jensen didn’t let me finish before he sped forward unexpectedly and grabbed me and the hose. He pressed our soaking wet bodies into the corner. The smile returned to my face, and I shrieked as he lightly twisted my arms and held them behind my back while the water sprayed up like a geyser raining down on us both. “And I can’t believe you fell for that!”
“You rotten jerk! Okay! All right! Stop! I’m sorry!” I shouted.
Through his laughter, he asked, “What did you say? I didn’t quite catch that.”
As he held me firmly between his body and the wall, I looked up into his eyes, blinking the water droplets away so I could see better. My breathing was labored, every deep breath I took matching his. I licked the water from my lips, drawing Jensen’s focus to them, and a week’s buildup of lust suddenly exploded between us.
In a flash, his mouth was on mine. He kissed me with a ferocity that caused a blast of warmth to spread throughout my chilled body. I heard the soft clank of the hose’s nozzle drop to the concrete floor as I closed my eyes and gave in to Jensen. Releasing my wrists from behind me, he laid his hands flat against my back while my arms moved up to wrap around his neck, my fingers fisting his wet hair tightly.
Warm hands moved down and lifted my shirt. His fingers clawed at the flesh of my back before slowly moving around until his thumbs grazed the swell of my breasts over the thin cotton fabric of my bra. I moaned, opening my mouth just enough for Jensen’s tongue to slip inside and move against my own.
It had been too long since I had felt his body pressed to mine in this way. His right hand left my breast for a moment, moving around to the back before unclasping my bra with a single flick of his fingers. Pulling my mouth away, I gasped for air as his hands moved beneath my bra, palming my breasts with his strong hands and nipping at my throat, setting my skin ablaze.