by A. D. Ryan
“Oh God,” I sighed softly, pushing my hips forward into his.
“Please tell me this is okay?” he pleaded between the feather-like kisses he was trailing down my shoulder.
“’S okay,” I murmured breathlessly. “Want this. Want you.”
In a flash, Jensen groaned, swiftly moving his hands to my ass to lift me. I wrapped my legs around his waist. Our clothes and bodies were completely soaked, making it difficult to move against one another and accomplish anything that would bring us close to what we both wanted.
Deciding to remedy this, I moved one hand between us and tried to undo Jensen’s jeans, letting him know it was okay. That I was ready.
Jensen moved back a fraction of a step, letting me slide to the floor, and his hands flew to my button as we both worked frantically to undo each other’s jeans. I had barely gotten the zipper on Jensen’s pants down when his warm hand slipped inside my pants. Or, almost did. Turned out our water-soaked skin and clothes worked against us.
It was supposed to be our pleasure mounting, but every second spent trying to peel soaked denim from wet skin only made us frustrated. And we were already plenty frustrated from waiting for my body to heal.
He groaned painfully as he pulled his lips from mine. “Shit. This isn’t how I saw this happening. It was going to be so hot.”
I laughed, letting my head fall back against the wall. Jensen was still holding my jeans open when a chill ripped through me. “Maybe we’re just not meant to be spontaneous,” I said, finally catching my breath and finding my bearings.
Jensen’s deep blue eyes found mine again, his finger hooking into my belt loops and pulling my hips toward him. It awakened my desire for him.
Okay. Truth be told, it hadn’t even been extinguished. The embers were always there, just waiting to be stoked.
“We should get some more work done.”
I pushed my bottom lip out into a pout. “Really?”
Jensen laughed softly, the corners of his eyes creasing. “Sadly.”
His nobility or responsibility—or whatever the hell it was—was really putting a wrench in the works. Feeling bold, I slid the metal button of his pants through its eyelet and brushed my lips over his. “But I want you now.”
“Soon, I promise.” Jensen moved back slowly.
Once we were about a foot apart, he refastened his jeans as I watched hungrily. He caught me eyeing his crotch and chuckled. “Stop it. My self-control is wavering.”
Inhaling a deep breath through my nose, I smiled. “Okay. You’re right. But as soon as work is done? All bets are off,” I boldly promised. I was able to put on a brave face, but I was still a little bummed that we’d had another almost-earth-shattering round of foreplay, only to be left sexually frustrated again.
Jensen smiled, and I found myself even more drawn to him. I had seen him smile on a number of occasions, but this smile was something else entirely. It was obvious he was happy, but there also seemed to be excitement dancing in his eyes. Maybe he was imagining me jumping him back at the house as much as I was. “Oh yeah? What are we going to do?” he asked in a low, seductive tone.
“That is for me to know and you to find out,” I told him mysteriously. Truthfully, I had no idea myself, but I was certain it wouldn’t disappoint.
Jensen took several steps backward. “Okay, well I have more work to do around here if we’re going to make the most of tonight. But first, I’m soaked to the bone. What do you say we go back to the house and change before finishing up out here?”
Jensen held out his hand to me, and with a smile, I took it, lacing our fingers together. “Sounds like a plan.” I smirked, looking up at him.
After changing out of our sopping wet clothes, Jensen made me promise to refrain from starting any more water fights. I agreed, of course, and we headed back out to the barn to finish the stalls. Jensen put fresh straw down while I finished filling the buckets and then squeegeed all the excess water toward the drain in the wash stall. By the time we finished, it was lunch, so we headed back to the house.
With no lessons on the schedule for the weekend, there really wasn’t too much to do around the barn. Jensen’s mom still thought it would be best if I waited another week or two before I rode, which wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I missed it so much. I’d never gone this long without being on a horse before.
“So, what do you want for dinner tonight?” Jensen asked as he flopped down on the couch with his sandwich.
I scooted over next to him. I didn’t want that much space between us. In fact, I was trying to figure out just how much time we had before we had to do more work. “Hmm, I’m not entirely sure. All I know is I can’t wait to have you in a vulnerable situation.”
“Why, Madi,” Jensen said, feigning surprise, “are you planning to seduce me?”
I shrugged. “Play your cards right.”
Jensen set his plate on the coffee table and turned to me, slipping his right hand between my legs and sliding it up my inner thigh. His thumb pressed against the seam right below my zipper, and I almost dropped my plate on the floor before Jensen took it from me and set it next to his. I gasped as Jensen leaned in and brushed his lips to my neck.
“I assure you I plan to play more than ‘my cards’ right tonight, Madison.”
I shivered, raising my hands to grab onto Jensen’s hair when he pulled back suddenly. Leaving me hot and bothered again.
“I’d like to plan something fun for this evening,” he told me, piquing my interest.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Do you trust me?”
“Um, I guess. Considering the source,” I teased.
“Look who’s being cocky now.”
“One of us has to be,” I quipped.
His attack on me was sudden and had me doubled over with laughter. His fingers found my sides and started tickling me with no sign of stopping. I tried my hardest to move away from him. Eventually, he had me on my back, wedging himself between my thighs as he continued to tickle me mercilessly. Our position was the last thing on my mind as I started to fear wetting my pants.
“You started it!” I screamed, pinching the back of his bicep in an effort to make him stop. It was no use though, because I couldn’t grip enough skin around his muscles.
“What are you? Six?”
I cackled like a hyena as he refused to stop. “Okay! I’m sorry, okay? Stop! I have to pee!”
I’d have to remember that as an excuse for next time, because as soon as I said it, Jensen sat up, his groin pushed against me—that was when I paid attention to our position. Swallowing thickly, I lay there fighting the urge to shamelessly rub myself against him. His eyes were dark and clouded with desire as we gazed longingly at each other.
We had time, right? It wasn’t like we had pressing issues to deal with on the ranch.
“Um,” he rasped. “I thought you had to use the bathroom?”
“Right.” Jensen didn’t move, not that I wanted him to, so I had to wriggle back on the couch until I was able to swing my leg around him and stand.
When I finished up, I found Jensen in the kitchen doing our dishes. I grabbed a towel and started to dry. “So, what are we doing tonight?”
“So, you don’t really trust me, then?”
Rolling my eyes, I responded. “I just want to know what I should wear. Dressy? Casual?” I stepped up onto my toes and kissed his cheek lightly before ghosting my lips toward his ear and whispering, “Nothing at all?”
Feeling pretty victorious when I saw his eyes flutter close, I smiled. “You know, you’re making it awfully hard to behave myself.”
“I don’t see why we’re trying so hard to be good,” I said softly. “I thought the whole point of … this was to have fun and let loose.”
“Dress casually,” he said. I could tell he was fighting the urge to give in to our desire. “That’s all I’ll tell you.”
I glowered playfully at him, but nodded my consent.
“I figure we’ll
start bringing in the horses around five. That way we’ll have plenty of time to get cleaned up.”
“So, what do we do for the next three hours?” I inquired, putting the towel down on the counter and turning to him. I slid my hand across his lower back and toyed with the waist of his jeans. “I mean, how can we possibly pass the time?”
Jensen turned to me quickly, throwing me a little off balance. “You know what? I just realized I have to run into town to grab a few bags of feed. Mind if I take the truck?”
“You want me to tag along?”
“No. Why don’t you stay here? I shouldn’t be gone long. I’ll be back soon.”
“Okay, yeah. I’ll tidy up a bit around here.”
Jensen gently gripped my chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilted my face to his. He kissed me sweetly, then left for town.
I flipped the radio on and got out my cleaning supplies, dancing to the tunes of the eighties and nineties as they blared through my house. Within the hour, my kitchen was spotless. Counters were clean, dishes were put away, floors swept, and I was just moving on to dusting the living room when “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” came on. I couldn’t help but dance and sing along every time it was on. It was just one of those songs.
Running my duster over my living room shelves, I sang and swayed my hips as the song started out slow. By the time the beat picked up, I had really found my groove, using my duster as a microphone while I literally hopped around the living room. When the chorus finally hit, I was no longer focused on cleaning, completely losing myself to my own performance, dancing around the living room like a total pro.
Okay, so it was probably more spastic. I was actually glad that I was alone, because if anyone saw my little show, I was sure to be humiliated—or committed.
I took a deep breath, knowing that there was a high note coming, and while it was likely I was about to butcher it completely, I didn’t really have any shits to give. I was having a blast belting out this song and dancing around the house. It was the happiest I’d been in a very long time.
“Well, judging by how you’re moving, I’d say you’re definitely feeling better.”
I jumped, slapping my hand over my chest. My breath caught in my throat in preparation to scream when my eyes locked on Jensen’s, and I let out a breath of relief. “Shit! You scared me.”
My heart pounded loudly in my ears, drowning out the music that continued to play in the background. I looked at Jensen leaning up against the wall. A wide smile stretched across his face as he stood there with his arms crossed.
“I don’t know that I’ve ever heard you sing before,” he noted, pushing off the wall and walking to me.
I stayed put as he made his way across the room, my heart racing with his every step. “I’m pretty sure that wasn’t singing. A dying cat probably sounds better.”
Grimacing at the thought, he pulled me to him. “Somehow, I doubt that.” He started to move his hips to the beat of the slow song that came on the radio next, and I just stared at him dumbly. “What?” he asked.
“Um, I don’t dance.”
Laughing, he kissed me softly. “That’s a load of horse shit. I just walked in on you dancing.”
“Okaaay,” I said, dragging the word out. “I only dance when I’m alone. Or drunk. Yeah, I also dance when I’m drunk.”
He pulled away from me with a sly grin. “Good to know.” I regretted divulging that little nugget immediately, being sure to mentally note that I should probably never partake in excessive drinking when Jensen was around. Taking my hand he began to pull me toward the door, taking my makeshift microphone from me and setting it on the bench on the way out.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Well, it’s five. I figured we should get our work done so we can … play.” The way he said that word made me tremble with excitement.
Jensen and I grabbed a couple of halters each and headed out to the farthest paddock first, deciding it made more sense to work inward. I must have been anxious to see what Jensen had planned for tonight, because it didn’t seem like it took all that long to get the work done. We brought Halley and Ransom in last, and I spent a little time with her, promising to ride her as soon as I was able, before exiting and locking her stall.
“Okay,” Jensen said on the way to the house. “You shower first. I’m going to run out to the office to check on a few things. I’ll be back shortly, and then I’ll have my shower.”
“Should I start dinner?” I asked, still unsure what exactly he had planned.
Shaking his head, he opened the front door. “Absolutely not. I’ve got everything under control.” He moved behind me, gripping my hips right above my ass and pushing me along to the bathroom. “Now, go.”
I closed the bathroom door, deciding to leave it unlocked and see if his self-restraint was intact (I secretly hoped it wasn’t) and undressed before hopping in the shower. I made sure to take care of any and all personal grooming. I usually did anyway, but I was extra careful to get everything this time.
I wrapped my towel around my wet body, and had just entered my bedroom when I heard the front door open. “I’m all done with the shower!” I called out as I grabbed the matching black lace bra and panty set that I bought in Memphis with Willow.
Turning toward my bed, I laid the scanty undergarments on the bedspread, and was just about to drop the towel when arms wrapped around me. I smiled, relaxing into the embrace.
“Did you get everything in order?” I asked, running my hands along his forearms.
A chill ran up my spine as his embrace tightened around me, but my blood turned to ice in my veins when a dangerously familiar voice said, “Those are new.”
Chapter 18. Fight or Flight
I moved to pull free of Dane’s restrictive hold on me, but he didn’t relent so easily. His grip around me tightened, resulting in the towel shifting. The terrycloth was the only thing keeping my body covered.
“I missed you,” he murmured into my ear.
Panic knotted in my belly. I gripped the top of my towel with my left hand and tried to wrestle free with the other.
“Get off me!” I shouted, twisting my body and wrenching free. My legs were against the bed, and I held the towel tight to my chest. “Get the hell out of my house,” I demanded through clenched teeth, chest heaving and hands shaking.
Dane made no indication he was going to leave. “Relax,” he demanded. The tone he used sounded menacing.
“Wh—what are you doing here?” I asked, secretly wishing that my voice hadn’t cracked.
“What do you think?” he shouted, making me jump slightly. “I’m pissed that you kicked me out and made your dad fire me!”
The man wasn’t capable of letting go of anything; what happened between us was months ago, and he was still pining away over losing me and his job? Even though he had constantly blamed me for how angry he was all the time?
“I didn’t make my dad do anything. He’s a big boy, Dane. He’s fully capable of making decisions all by himself—just like when you made the conscious decision to raise your hand to me.” Apparently my balls of steel had dropped, which was nice, because I was finally able to stand up to him.
The courage I felt was short-lived though as he took a heavy step toward me, forcing me back into my room. “I’m taking what I deserve.”
Feeling cornered, I stepped to the left and tried to dash around him, but he expected it. His hands gripped my shoulders roughly, and he used more strength than he’d ever used with me before to toss me onto the bed. The towel shifted when I landed, and I scrambled to right it as I moved to stand.
Dane rushed forward and climbed onto the bed. His legs straddled my bare thighs and his left hand wrapped around my right forearm, forcing it above my head where he pinned it to the mattress. Then he yanked the other from my towel and raised it also. His hands were so big, he was able to use only one to hold both of my arms above my head.
“Stop fighting,” he ordered.
I stopped struggling, not because he told me to, but because I was hoping to keep the towel from slipping even more. That didn’t matter, because he used the fingers of his free hand to fiddle with the edge of the towel, inching it away from my breasts.
“Dane, stop, please,” I pleaded. Tears burned my eyes, and I couldn’t keep the tremble from my voice as a sob steadily built in my chest.
His bloodshot eyes burned with anger and rejection, and his breath smelled of cheap whisky. “You think I’d just let you do that to me? Kick me out like that? Humiliate me by fucking around on me with that guy?” He tightened his grip around my wrists until my bones ached and my skin burned. “You belong to me, Madison.”
“Dane, please! You’re hurting me!” The tears fell freely over my temples and pooled in my ears before spilling onto my bed.
His eyes were on me, but I could tell he wasn’t really seeing me. He was too lost to his rage. I’d seen this look before. “You know you shouldn’t upset me, Madison.”
“I didn’t do anything!” I screamed, raising my head off the bed and getting as in his face as I could.
His free hand came up from where it hovered above my almost naked chest, and I flinched. I tried not to, but I was terrified. He didn’t hit me, though. Instead, he gripped my face between his thumb and fingers and squeezed my cheeks hard. I tasted blood when my teeth cut through the inside of my mouth.
His eyes held mine, and I couldn’t even recognize him. This wasn’t the man I’d lived with, or the one who used to share my bed. This was a much darker version of the man Dane had become toward the end of our relationship when his drinking became more important to him.
“Dane, please,” I pleaded once more, my cheeks hurting in his harsh grip.
A smile slowly spread across his face. “That’s my girl,” he whispered, lowering his face next to mine. His lips brushed my ear, and I tried to pull away. “Always begging to come back to me.”