Inevitable Darkness
Page 17
She shrugged. “It’s safer than me hanging out in here until I lose my mind and slaughter everyone.”
Abram looked like he wasn’t sure if she was serious or joking, which pissed her off.
“I’m not a monster,” she snapped.
“Who are you trying to convince?” he asked. “Because it sounds like you’re the one who needs convincing. Why do you even care what I think?”
“I don’t care what you think,” she insisted before storming off. She needed to run more than she needed air. Fucking would have been a good distraction, but the vampire wasn’t interested in playing, so it was either run or fight. That was the story of her life.
Chapter 39
Vexx couldn’t sleep. She did her best to blame it on the Fae spell. There was no denying it was unsettling, but she was also fascinated with the magic and the history. As her father would say, leave it to a witch to get excited about being surrounded by danger.
She was sitting on a bench on the back porch, watching the leaves blow across the ground. It was a crisp fall evening, close to winter, so the breeze was slightly chilly. It didn’t bother her much, and if she got too cold, she could always switch to her cougar form to keep warm. Thoughts of shifting made her long to run and get far from the house, but she needed to stay close.
“What are you doing up so late?” Jase asked from behind her.
Vexx spun around, placing a hand over her heart. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.” She was annoyed that Jase had managed to sneak up on her.
“Your instincts are off,” he remarked as he took a seat beside her. “I was sure you’d heard me approaching, and you definitely should have been able to smell me.”
“It must be the spell,” she grumbled in response. While she wasn’t quite as affected by the strange magic as the others in their group, she still felt the prickling unease gliding along her skin. “This place is throwing me off.”
“That surprises me. You seem fascinated by all of this.” He gestured around them with one hand as if they could somehow see the magic sizzling in the air.
“I am fascinated,” she admitted. “It’s also unnerving. Witches are better at hiding their fear than other species because of our natural curiosity. That probably sounds crazy.”
“Nah,” he replied with a soft laugh. “I get what you’re saying. You’re too busy wondering what’s going on to act afraid. That’s another benefit of being a witch.”
“You think there are benefits to being a witch?” she asked.
“Why does that surprise you?” he asked.
“Because you like order,” she replied simply. “You like it when there’s no drama, and everything goes according to plan.”
“Yeah, I do like that,” he agreed. “It’s what I’ve always thought I wanted, but there are times when I’m jealous of your ability to let go of your inhibitions and follow your instincts. Even in lynx form, I have a hard time letting go. I envy you.”
She studied him, trying to figure out why he’d envy her. Before her death, Vexx had been much more impulsive, and she now realized how hard that must have been on those around her. Her father had tried getting her to settle down over the decades. He’d warned her she was going to end up in trouble, and she’d ignored him. “I was killed because of my nature.”
Jase slipped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “What happened to you wasn’t your fault, but I can see why you’re looking for something you could have done differently. Nothing you did made you a target. Those assholes were after Winter.”
“If I’d let you mark me, you could have at least had your mate back then,” she whispered.
“I didn’t deserve her.” He sounded sincere, and she pulled away to meet his gaze. His lips lifted in a slight smile. “It’s the truth, Vexx. When I found out you were masking your scent to make me think you were younger, my pride was hurt.”
“I’m sorry about that,” she told him. “I acted like a child, and you didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.”
He waved off her apology. “We’re long past that. I’m not angry with you. While I had a right to be angry when I found out, I overreacted. I felt like an idiot for being tricked.”
“There’s no way you could have seen through it,” she assured him.
“But I still felt foolish for not going to Cord after I recognized you as my mate,” he explained. “I didn’t know you were his daughter, but he’s still the leader of your clan.”
“Why didn’t you go to him?” she asked.
“I didn’t know Cord well back then,” he explained. “Back in Canada, I knew of clans that would send young females to live with the clan of their mate. Now that I know your father better, I’m sure he wouldn’t do that, especially with his daughter. When I first saw you, I wasn’t quite as certain, and you seemed terrified.”
“I was,” she admitted.
“Why were you so scared?” he asked.
“I knew who you were,” she replied. “My father would have pushed me to leave with you. I’m not a child, and he’s wanted me to find a mate for a very long time. He would have seen you as a way to get me to settle down. It’s not easy for my dad having a daughter like me. I’ve always caused him a lot of stress. I’m a lot better than I was a year ago, but I still make my dad crazy with my impulsiveness.”
“He’s afraid something will happen to you,” Jase stated.
“Who can blame him?” she asked. “My mom would probably still be alive if she’d been less reckless. She couldn’t even stay with the coven long, so she was always wandering. My mother was weak by witch standards with little in the way of magic to defend herself.”
“So, Cord is afraid you’ll end up like her,” he deduced. “But you aren’t weak for a witch, right?”
She shook her head. “I’m not coven leader material, but I’m more powerful than my mom. I’m also a strong fighter, thanks to my cougar side.”
“That must be why Cord hasn’t locked you in a room with no key,” he remarked with a playful smile.
“He’s threatened to do just that,” she admitted. “Can you imagine how crazy I’d make you if you had to put up with me on a regular basis?”
Reaching out, Jase brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. “Can you imagine how alive you’d make me feel? You wouldn’t have to run on your own when you felt cooped up. You could take me with you. I can’t be as uninhibited as you’d like. It’s my responsibility to take care of my clan, so I can’t run off and have an adventure on a whim.”
“You wouldn’t even if you could,” she argued.
“Probably not,” he agreed. “At the same time, I want that. There have been times when I’ve envied Zane for his carefree nature. I’ve wanted to be the one to say fuck it and just do what I want.”
Vexx giggled at his phrasing. “I never thought I’d hear you say fuck it about anything.”
“It does sound strange coming from me,” he agreed.
“What’s funniest is that you wanted to be the wild child in your family, while I secretly wanted to be the one people could count on. I wanted to be less flighty, but not enough to do anything about it.”
“We can’t change our nature,” he reminded her. “Small changes, we can manage, but I’d probably be uptight even if I hadn’t been raised to be the leader.”
“It’s hard to tell,” she stated. “In your case, I mean. For me, I’m a witch, so this is the way I was born.”
“We balance each other out,” he said with a smile as he cupped her cheek. Vexx sucked in a sharp breath. “Maybe I can’t be as impulsive as Zane, but I can be less rigid with you. You might be right about your witch side preventing you from being as responsible as your sisters or other members of your clan, but I can help.”
“By pushing me to be something I’m not?” she asked as she pulled away from him.
When she stood to move farther from him, Jase got to his feet and followed her. “I don’t want to change you, Vexx. Before, I was an idiot
for thinking that’s what I wanted. I was an asshole for thinking you should change to make me happy. I’m sorry for being such a dick about things.”
His soft voice held a hypnotic quality as it glided along Vexx’s skin like a caress. Goosebumps that had nothing to do with the Fae magic flowing around them formed on her arms. Her reaction was all about Jase and how he made her feel—how he’d always made her feel.
“This is insane,” she murmured.
Jase cupped her cheeks with both hands and leaned in slowly, giving her plenty of time to stop him. She didn’t. Stopping him seemed impossible as his lips barely touched hers. His warm breath caressed her mouth. “You’re right. Everything about our feelings is crazy, and I like that. I like the feeling of being out of control around you.”
“You don’t seem out of control.” Her response was little more than a whisper.
“Only because you don’t want to see it,” he uttered before brushing his mouth against hers in a tentative kiss. When she didn’t push him away, his tongue moved along her lower lip, and she gave in to her desire.
Chapter 40
Jase hadn’t been sure how Vexx would react to his kiss. He was pushing his luck, but he couldn’t help himself. Between the unsettling magic and their talk, he couldn’t fight the desire between them. Even when he’d recognized her as his one true mate, he’d sensed a barrier between them. At the time, he’d assumed the wall was of her making, but that wasn’t entirely true. He’d been as guilty of putting distance between them for fear of giving up control.
“I want to taste you,” he murmured.
“You are,” she whispered.
Jase smiled as his hands moved to the back of her head to tangle in her beautiful red hair. “Not like that,” he whispered. “Like this.”
He claimed her lips, struggling to maintain some control. What he wanted was to kiss her hard, probing her mouth and crushing her against him. He longed to strip her naked and take her. His dick throbbed against his pants, begging for release. Instead of acting on those desires, his lips moved gently against hers, his tongue barely sliding past her lips before retreating.
Vexx made no move to push him away, surrendering completely to his touch—at least, that’s how it started. Before long, Vexx gripped the back of his hair, pulling him closer as she sucked his tongue into her mouth. Her uninhibited response nearly made his control snap.
Without breaking their kiss, Jase backed her against the side of the house. One of her hands moved between them to cup his hard dick and squeeze. Jase’s groan vibrated between them as he deepened the kiss and slid one hand up Vexx’s side. The other hand landed on the wall beside her head. Vexx whimpered as she pressed as close to him as possible. She writhed against him, and the scent of her arousal wrapped around him, caressing every inch of him like a lover. Even with the unease crawling along his skin from the Fae magic, he still wanted to take her. Every instinct screamed for him to spin her around so he could fuck her from behind and mark her.
Mine! The voice in the back of his mind was possessive and urgent. A small voice of reason warned him he needed to stop, but for once, he didn’t want to listen to reason. Screw reason! He was tired of giving up what he wanted because it was the right thing to do. He wanted Vexx, and he would have her.
That last thought startled him enough to ease his urgency. His kiss gentled as reality hit him like a bucket of ice water. He couldn’t mark her—not until she was ready. Vexx might not fight him, but she’d regret it later. When he broke the kiss, they were both panting, and the scent of their combined arousal settled around them like a thick fog. It was heady and almost drugging. Jase had to shake his head to clear it.
“Wow,” Vexx said with a nervous laugh.
Jase took two steps back, letting out a nervous laugh. “That was just—wow. I can’t believe we can only come up with wow to describe it.”
“Yet you still stopped.” She studied him as if she couldn’t quite figure out his game, and Jase didn’t blame her for her confusion.
“I wanted to mark you.” His gaze locked with hers.
Vexx’s eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open before she responded. “Oh! Thank you for stopping. I didn’t even consider that. I wasn’t thinking very clearly.”
“Yeah, I know,” Jase assured her with a smile. “Neither of us was thinking straight.”
Vexx worried her lower lip with her teeth, and Jase almost groaned in response. He wanted to bite her lower lip and continue what they’d started. His mind drifted down that path as he began to step forward. Vexx’s words stopped him in his tracks. “I guess it’s a good thing you’re more level-headed than I am. If you’d been as into it as I was, we wouldn’t have stopped.”
Jase’s laugh sounded choked—no surprise considering how turned on he was. “I was about to kiss you again. Trust me when I tell you that I was just as into it as you were. I want you so much that I ache everywhere, but I don’t want you to hate me.”
“I wouldn’t hate you,” she argued with a shake of her head. When he said nothing, she sighed and continued. “I’m not lying about not hating you, but it would be a terrible way to start a life together. Thank you for not letting this get to that point.”
He reached out and trailed his fingers along her cheek. “I don’t want you to resent what we have or run from me again. While I was kissing you, a voice in the back of my mind insisted you’re mine. It’s true. We belong to each other, and when you’re finally ready to admit that, I’m going to show you how fantastic we’ll be together.”
Vexx’s eyes narrowed. “Are you threatening to withhold sex unless I agree to be your mate?”
Jase laughed at her indignation. When she looked like she was about to hit him, he put his hands up in surrender. “I’m not threatening to withhold sex.”
Arms crossed in front of her chest, Vexx didn’t look convinced. “That’s what it sounds like.”
His amusement helped keep the irritation at bay. “Do you seriously think I’m doing this just to get my way?”
“No,” she replied with a sigh. “If you only wanted to get your way, you wouldn’t have stopped. I’d have been angry at both of us later, but I wouldn’t have stopped you from marking me. I might have begged you to mark me. That kiss was amazing.”
“I don’t want you to let me mark you because we got carried away.” He paused before continuing. “That’s not entirely true. A big part of me craves that feeling of complete abandon. I’ve never experienced anything like that before you.”
“I’d think it would bother you to be that out of control,” she remarked as she stepped away from him.
“It does,” he admitted. “It used to bother me more.”
“I should get some sleep,” she said.
He nodded and caught her hand, pleased when she didn’t jerk it from his grasp. “That’s a good idea. I’m winning you over. You’re going to be mine soon.”
“Don’t act like an arrogant ass,” she warned as she looked away from him and began walking by his side. Despite her words, it sounded as if she liked him acting like an arrogant ass.
Chapter 41
Mitchell had slept like crap. He’d gone for a walk once, only to find Abram in deep conversation with Kish. With his vampire hearing, he should have been able to catch what they were saying, but not so much with the magic in the air buzzing in his ears. It was none of his business what Abram said to Kish, anyway. He and Abram weren’t dating. At best, one could call them friends, but certainly no more than that.
“Who the hell am I kidding?” Mitchell muttered to himself.
Vexx came up beside him and slipped an arm around his waist. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he replied automatically before realizing how stupid his response was. With the bond between them, Vexx knew he was upset. “I saw Abram talking to Kish last night.”
“And you’re jealous,” she deduced.
“No,” he argued.
“Hurt?” she asked.
/> “A little,” he admitted. “I’m also angry with myself for feeling anything about this.”
“Why?” she asked. “You like Abram, and his feelings for you are no secret. I think you have a right to worry about why he’s talking to Kish.”
“So, you think I have a good reason to worry?” he asked. “Abram wanted Kish before.”
“The bigger part of me thinks you have nothing to worry about,” she replied. “Abram looks at you like you’re more than his latest obsession. He seems to genuinely care about you. At the same time, Abram’s not right in the head.”
Mitchell let out a startled bark of laughter at her description. “I guess there’s no other way to put it.”
“Not really,” she agreed. “Is it wrong that I’m hoping Abram changes his mind about his interest in you?”
“No,” he replied. “He might do that. I don’t know. I’m acting like a child about this whole situation. It’s not like I saw him kiss her.”
“I don’t think he’s interested in kissing her after what you’ve told me about the kiss you shared,” Vexx said with a grin as she bumped her hip against his side.
Mitchell smiled. “So, you think I’m acting ridiculous?”
She shook her head. “I think you should worry about Abram’s motives when it comes to anything. I like Abram, something I never expected to say. He’s nowhere near as wretched as I believed he was when we first met.”
“Wretched?” Mitchell asked with a laugh. “That’s a little harsh.”
“No, it’s nicer than he deserves,” she argued. “After spending more time around Abram, I don’t hate him, and I’m almost positive he wouldn’t stab me in the back, but I wouldn’t want to bet my life on it.”
Mitchell wanted to argue that Abram wouldn’t hurt her, but he wasn’t wholly convinced. If Vexx became a threat or a perceived enemy, Abram would hurt her. “I’m falling in love with a crazy vampire,” he muttered.
“Yes,” she agreed. “Maybe we can find a nicer guy for you to love. There are some hot shifters. Have you seen Jase’s new enforcer, Cade?”