Lukas (This is Our Life Series Book 4)

by F. G. Adams

  Moose thinks I am oblivious to what’s going on around me. I’m not blind to the games Lukas’ friends are playing with him. They want a reaction. I also understand Moose is picking at Lukas, trying to get under his thick skin. It’s too bad they don’t realize he won’t allow a reaction when it comes to us, because there won’t be an us. Lovers, maybe. Permanent relationship? Can’t happen. He’s been there. Done that. Got the message. Plus, I can’t get involved with him. I just can’t do matters of the heart, and that’s exactly what Lukas wants from me—love.

  Earlier, Moose just wouldn’t stop pestering me until I gave in and danced with him on the makeshift dance floor. The entire time we swayed back and forth, I felt Lukas’ fury boring into my back, molten hot lava consuming me with sorrow from the pain I caused him, yet again. But honestly, how in the hell could I have known that the song we would dance to would be the one we had made love to endlessly one of those many nights in the desert?

  I fake a smile and step back. Moose reluctantly lets me go, a smirk donning his tanned face.

  “Would you like something to drink?” he politely asks.

  “Sure, Moose. A cup of coffee—black would be nice.”

  “Sure thang, sweetness. I’ll be back in a jiffy.” He winks and takes off in the direction of the beverage bar set up for Oliver and Fallyn’s reception.

  I can’t help myself as I watch his firm, muscular backside walk away. A girl could get lost for hours exploring that fine specimen of man meat. The delicious view I’m enjoying is interrupted when a very tall, very pissed-off giant blocks the way.

  “Hiya, doc, how’s life been treating you these days? I see you’re still dancing to the same old, outdated song. Just found a new sucker to fall for your southern charms, huh, honey?”

  I inwardly cringe at the sting his words cause. He’s going for blood—my blood. I really can’t blame him.

  He believes I abandoned him, but I had my reasons.

  His confidence took a low blow when I left him overseas damaged and writhing in pain in the intensive care unit. I had my reasons for returning to Lakeview. It didn’t help that I turned him away again the night he contemplated ending it all. I was there as a friend, and again, things happened beyond my control.

  “Not today, Lukas. I’m not doing this here,” I respond and turn to leave.

  Somehow, he finds my moving wrist, stopping my forward momentum. His thumb grazes the inside an innocent circular pattern to and fro. The small contact sends an electric current straight to the junction of my thighs, reminding me of the heaven Lukas’ touch promises. I’ve missed him so much. Stay strong, Sage, I tell myself. Fuck, it would be so much easier to allow my heart to lead the way. It wasn’t in the crystal ball. I know he could get hurt in the long run. Bad things happen around me. Not just that I’m too much like my father, Harold R. Blackwood, V, or as most know him, Wood.

  I’m not cut out for a permanent relationship.

  I grew up with my father as my role model. Somehow, out of all of his children, we bonded. I was his shadow growing up, following him around the ranch. He taught me how to ride a horse, shoot a gun, and wrestle a calf by the time I turned eight. I constantly wanted his approval. He was never mean or hurtful to me, like he was with the others. I learned to look the other way most of the time. It was survival of the fittest, and like the chameleon I am, I survived.

  On the other hand, I’m nothing like my mother, Barbie. She excels being June Cleaver—I have problems boiling a kettle of tea, and just the thought of hot glue and wreaths sends this wannabe domesticated woman out the door to the mall for therapy.

  His rage was fueled by my mother. She was the instigator in my book. The emotional and physical damage they dealt each other helped mold the way I see relationships. I promised myself to never allow a man to have that kind of hold over me and not to love someone so much that it didn’t matter. I won’t be like my mother. Fucked up as it is.

  I gently unwrap his fingers and hug my arms around my waist, restraining myself from clinging to him. I won’t slip, not again.

  “I noticed you’re getting around really well, Lukas. I’m happy you’ve made the adjustment so easily. It can take quite some time after being fitted with a prosthetic leg for some individuals to get a handle on it. It’s been a smooth change for you with the new one?”

  “Falling back into doctor mode, are you? Yeah. I’m managing, but you already know this.”

  I peruse the room. Fallyn is gushing with love for her new husband, Oliver. She can’t keep her hands off the poor guy, and the sentimental shit oozes from Jocelyn and Keagan sitting in the alcove kissing. It’s too much for this single gal to deal with. Don’t get me wrong. I’m really happy for my sisters and their newfound lives. I just don’t want the same thing. Keep telling yourself that, Sage. I see Moose making his way back through the crowd with a coffee in hand for me.

  “I’m a doctor, so it seems to be a logical question to ask a former patient, or would you rather we talk about non-sequential topics? The wedding, perhaps?”

  “I would rather discuss us,” he openly challenges me.

  “Ah, and there lies the problem, Lukas. There is no us to discuss,” I counter, praying he gets the underlying message to leave me the fuck alone.

  I’m not as strong as he believes. He’s my kryptonite. My one weakness.

  He leans in my direction and whispers, “As long as there’re grains of sand in the hourglass of time, there will be an us, Sage. I’ll be waiting for you.”

  I blink away the tears trying to escape. Damn you, Lukas. He reads me like a book. Our song. The interlude ends when Tanner walks up offering the cup to me.

  “Here you go, sweetness. Black and piping hot. Just the way you like it.”

  “Thanks, Moose.”

  I sip the hot java wishing for the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Lukas’ eyes beam red hot lasers at the short exchange between Moose and me. Holy shit, if looks could kill, Moose would be a goner.

  “Hey, Luc, when do you plan to go back to Lakeview?” Moose asks, easing the tension.

  Yeah, Lukas. When are you going to take your leave? Right now would be a good thing. My resistance is waning. If he stays, I know exactly where I will end up—his bed. Sadness crosses his handsome face, and if I hadn’t been watching him so closely, I would have missed it. And unlike Professor X, he can’t read my mind, but I regret the negative thoughts instantly.

  “Later rather than sooner, like I’d hoped. Keagan wants someone to stick around for a week or so while Ollie is off honeymooning. He kind of volunteered my services for the position, since Ols has a boner for MacGyver hanging around his little cub. I should be back when they return.”

  Nice move, Jocelyn. Payback’s coming your way, sister. I’ve been set up. She begged me earlier in the week to stay in Arkansas with Harper. Going on and on about how if I stayed, it would ease Fallyn’s mind while they were away and separated. I hadn’t given it a second thought. I needed to put a little distance between me and Lakeview after the incident with my office. Oh, I’m positive there’s some truth to her story, but the bottom line is, Keagan and Jocelyn could have stayed just as easily as me. Hell, they’ve been here the last month or so.

  “Keagan’s got some Trident business he’s sending me to check out for a new client, so I guess I’ll be jetting outta here first thing in the morning.”

  “I feel ya, Moose. I’m itching to be home, get things back to norm. The last few months have taken their toll on all of us. Caseload is overflowing. Total pucker hole. I’m gonna miss Roxy’s slobbering self when Keagan heads out. I think I need a dog, maybe a little Chihuahua. Yep.” Lukas quietly mumbles, “They’re loyal and obedient.”

  Obedient? Loyal? A dog! Keep it up, Jolly Green, and I’ll make sure you’re limping all the way home. One of these days, he’s going to step in some serious shit. It’s too bad I won’t be around to see it happen.

  “What’s that? Serious, Jolly Green? A lap dog? Next
thing we know, you’ll be carrying a doggie bag around like those fashion models, trying to make a statement or something,” Moose playfully taunts.

  “Keeps you guys on your toes, jerk fondler. You never know what to expect.”

  “Where the hell you come up with some of that shit is beyond me.”

  You aren’t alone, Moose. I gave up trying to figure Lukas’ vocabulary years ago. He marches to the beat of his own drum.

  “God-given, divine talent, ball rammer. Yes, sirree, pure talent.”

  Fallyn and Oliver are making their way to the wedding cake.

  “Guess it’s time for me to go be a maid of honor,” I announce. “Time for dessert.”

  Turning, I walk as fast as possible in the tight dress and four-inch heels to escape. Running won’t accomplish the inevitable from developing. It’s coming. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach and the tingling of my toes. It’s always the same when we are this close. All sense of normality vanishes and we end up one way—naked and together.

  3

  Lukas

  I’ve always been a huge fan of the Dr. Seuss variety. The man was a genius. He got it right when he said, “Simple it’s not, I am afraid you will find, for a mind-make-upper to make up his mind.” Or her mind in this case.

  Although, I’ve always believed you’ll miss the best things in life if you keep your eyes shut, and that’s not me anymore. My eyes are wide open. Targeting Sage.

  Vapor encircles my body as I blow out another puff of smoke from my e-cig, or my crack pipe as I like to call it. A hint of vanilla and caramel floats in the air around me as the nicotine takes effect to calm my erratic nerves.

  It’s the only vice I allow myself. I quit the pills, smoking cigarettes, and drinking the hard stuff, except for a beer every now and again, since the night I wanted to end it all. I went into an intense therapy for about half a year. It taught me how to live again. How to cope with and accept what had happened to me. Relatively speaking, it’s worked for the most part. Except when it comes to her.

  “Fuck, I needed that,” I talk out loud as I lean against the edge of the railing.

  My current post is outside on the balcony, under the moonlit sky, overlooking the vast silhouette of the Ozark mountains. The bright lights from inside the log cabin shadow my position, making it difficult for anyone to see me clearly. Yet, I still have a perfect view of inside the cabin, thanks to the two-story windows.

  I had to get outside, away from her. It was stuffy. I was suffocating.

  My gaze travels to the spectacle of Sage and Harper dancing around the room, hopping up and down like bunny rabbits. Next, they attempt to mimic each other in a robot dance, laughing and smiling. I chuckle. It’s nice to see them having fun. Little Harper deserves it.

  I turn my attention to the gawking faces of some of my team members, their gazes locked in the direction of the girls. Fucking Moose and his shenanigans. Fucking Keagan, Oliver, and the rest of the guys for their constant picking and ribbing. If they only knew just how hard I’ve tried to break the wall Sage has built tightly around her, they’d back the fuck off.

  Despite the fact, I’ll keep the information to myself. I’m just not ready to spill my lovey-dovey bullshit affections with anyone. Well, except maybe her, but she’s not listening. At least not yet.

  My head rotates toward the house, instinctively seeking out Sage. I grasp my bottom lip with my teeth biting down for the sting. The vision swaying back and forth arouses my senses. The tight crimson dress has a slit that runs the length of her long, shapely legs capped off with those damn fuck-me heels, showcasing her painted toes. I want to run my tongue from those polished toes all the way to her plump, wet lips. Fuck! I need her. It’s been too long.

  I had to keep my cool earlier after witnessing the display of Sage and Tanner on the dance floor. His hands were roaming a little too close for my comfort. It caused a rash of red-hot heat to course up my spine and neck. I wanted desperately to rip off Tanner’s arms from his body and stuff them down his throat.

  Placing my crack pipe back into my mouth, I inhale deeply and turn my back to the windows.

  Every time I’m around Sage, she stokes and kindles a burning fire of need. A response so powerful, hell, I don’t even understand it, and it drives me insane.

  You know how sometimes when you meet someone, you just click? I’ve never believed in love at first sight, but I sure do believe in the clicks. Sage and I click. Really well.

  Peace and quiet ends when a door opens and closes, which causes me to turn around.

  “Oh, I didn’t realize anyone was out here. Sorry, Luc. I’ll leave you alone.” Sage smiles as she turns to go back inside.

  “No need, doc. There’s plenty of deck out here for the both of us.”

  I gesture to the extensive wooden deck and advance to the farthest corner. Permitting the darkness to envelop me.

  Unsure, she nods her head and walks over to edge, placing her hands on the rail. Sage draws in a deep, long breath and lets it out slowly.

  She slips up and says, “It’s beautiful here. I can see why Ollie and Fallyn love it.”

  Like a moth to a flame, I’m drawn to her raspy, seductive voice, and my eyes close hoping that she’ll continue to speak and not go away. Optimistic she’ll continue to let me in, just a little.

  “I can’t believe you found her, Lukas. I haven’t had a chance to say thank you,” she begins and runs her hands through her long hair.

  In my mind’s eye, I imagine the blush staining her cheeks, and I smile, but she can’t see it.

  “We’d all given up hope of ever seeing Fallyn and Harper again. You played a major role in healing our family. It really means a lot to me,” Sage finishes, her voice filled with gratitude and passion.

  I can’t stand another minute of being so far away from her. Slowly, I close the distance, until I’m standing right beside her. When our arms touch slightly, a jolt of electricity passes from her to me. She turns her head to look up at me, and I see it. The longing and desire which manifests every time we’re this close.

  “I’d do anything for you and your family, Sage. You know this.” I pause to lighten the mood. “Besides, I never fail at anything, and there’s the hero worship that comes along with it. You know how much I dig it.”

  Sage reaches out and playfully punches me square in the arm, packing a wallop in the process.

  “Ow! What was that for, doc?” I growl and rub the sore spot on my arm.

  “That’s because you're such an ass, Hulk.” Sage laughs and turns back toward the darkened skyline.

  “Well, warn a guy next time, will you?”

  “What would be the point in that? It’s the element of surprise that gets you every time, Jolly Green,” she gloats.

  And there it is. My perfect match.

  Before she can articulate another word or punch, I pull her into my arms, shielding her behind my towering body from the view of anyone who may be watching inside the house. Boxing her in between my large frame and the sturdy wooden rail.

  Instantly, I devour her scrumptious mouth. The sweet flavor of her cinnamon-flavored lip gloss drives me wild and urges me onward. It’s Sage. It’s familiar. She’s my home.

  Sage struggles at first, shocked by my quick, unexpected actions.

  “Lukas, what are you…” she mumbles between my kisses.

  My tongue plunges deep into her wet, velvety kisser, and gradually she buckles in my embrace. Just like always. We join together fiercely, the flame blazing brightly, triggering us both to burn.

  Grabbing her long locks within my oversized hands, I gently tug her head backward at an angle, which allows me to penetrate her mouth more deeply. Our tongues duel and my cock stiffens further behind my zipper as I gather her closer. I’m desperate with need and desire, rubbing the thickness of my cock against her tight body.

  “I want you, doc. Can you feel it?”

  Sage moans as she wraps her hands around my neck. Securing me closer. Our
bodies meld and the kiss deepens. We’re like rum and coke. One can be without the other and taste sweet. But when combined, it’s even better.

  Suddenly, as if stepping into a cold shower to wake up, she pulls away.

  “We can’t do this, Luc. Not here. Not now,” Sage voices as she pants against my chest.

  “Yeah. Okay. Your call, Sage. For now,” I warn.

  I allow her release and stroll to the corner of the terrace, into the darkness where I’m most comfortable. She remains motionless, staring in my direction. But she can’t see me. I’m enclosed in the shadows.

  After a few minutes, she enters the main house, and once again I’m alone.

  I take out my crack pipe and inhale.

  “Soon, doc. Real soon,” I whisper a promise into the darkness.

  Relishing in one more long drag, I place the e-cig in my pocket and make tracks into the house. Time to make an appearance to the group and play nice. Then I can get the hell out of here for some relief.

  I steer a course toward the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. When I go back into the great room, Sage is saying good-bye to everyone. I go do the same. She’s not going anywhere without me. We’re not done by a long shot.

  “Hey, Ollie. Congrats again. I’m so happy for you, Casanova. You deserve it, man.”

  Oliver is positioned proudly beside his new bride, Fallyn. The look they share uniting their love sends a chill over my whole body. It’s sickly sweet and I cringe because of the yearning it brings forth deep inside me. A thirst that may never be quenched. Someday.