A Christmas Haven

by Cindy Woodsmall

She entered the room to see Mamm sterilizing glass mason jars in a pot of boiling water, lifting them out with tongs, and placing them on clean towels. How many times over the years had Ivy canned delicious homegrown vegetables and fruits with Mamm? Could they ever go back to that kind of closeness—the kind that caused them to enjoy each other’s company whether milking cows, cleaning Englisch homes, or planting and harvesting their garden? Or would Ivy leaving the Amish ruin all that? She’d never joined the church, so she’d be allowed some leeway to visit. But would Mamm permit her to? If she allowed it, would she lower her guard and give up her anger with Ivy? Ivy couldn’t imagine not being able to talk with Mamm.

  There were slices of freshly baked bread laid out on a plate, leftover ham and turkey cut into pieces, and various condiments sitting on the table. Apparently sandwiches were on the menu for lunch.

  Ivy spotted two quilted trivets on the kitchen counter that she and Mamm had made together probably five years ago. “I remember these.” They’d found the uniquely patterned aqua, pink, orange, purple, and green fabrics on sale at a market. There wasn’t enough of each fabric to make a quilt, so they’d made two trivets that looked like miniature quilts, each with a star pattern at the center.

  Mamm looked up and gave her a hint of a smile. “That was a good day.” She placed the last jar on the towel and turned off the stove.

  Ivy touched the trivets’ soft fabric. “We need to talk about my plans. I spoke with Tegan and Clara this morning, and I’m going to wait to move out until after the first of the year as you asked. It’s going to be tough, but I’ll pay my portion of the rent from October to January while still living here. That gives time for Holly’s wedding and for all of us to enjoy Christmas together.”

  “I appreciate the effort. I do.”

  “But?”

  “I got a call earlier today, and the people at Troyer Yogurt and Cheese plan to expand their business. They made it clear they want to keep getting milk from us, but for numerous reasons they must get all their milk from the same place, which means we either take on more cows or lose the contract with them.” Mamm reached into a cabinet beside the stove, pulled out a second large pot, and placed it on the burner.

  “Mamm, that just confirms it’s time to sell the cows we have and shut down the milking parlor. You can’t do all the work by yourself with what we have now, so you can’t take on more cows.”

  Mamm stared into the pot. “You could stay.” She lifted her eyes to Ivy. “I need you.”

  A sewing needle jabbed Ivy’s heart. “I know you don’t want to give up the dairy farm. It’s a part of who you and Daed were, and letting it go feels as if you’re letting go of all those dreams and all that love you and Daed shared. But I am leaving. I’m sorry it’ll dismantle so many of your plans, and I’m sorry you’ll be caught in the middle between the church and me. I really am. My leaving has nothing to do with how much I love and respect you, but I am leaving.”

  “You don’t get it, do you? This farm is who you are. It’s in your blood. It was a part of your Daed when he was a boy. It’s in almost every memory you have since you were born.”

  Ivy eased forward. “You are those things to me, Mamm, not this farm.” Ivy leaned in, trying to catch her Mamm’s eye. “Holly is marrying and moving to another district. Red’s not here. Your two Swartzentruber guests won’t be here much longer. Why don’t we use this time while I’m still at home to get the farm ready to sell?”

  “Kumm, Ivy.” Mamm walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. Ivy followed. What is she doing?

  They walked through the living room and into the craft room in the back of the house—Ivy’s favorite room. In the mornings sunlight poured through the tall windows. On the walls without windows, Daed had built floor-to-ceiling shelves to hold supplies, and he had installed ample wood counters that folded up for more space. Ivy touched the soft recliner where so many times Daed had sat and chatted with her and Mamm while they worked on crafts together. The room even had a roller propane tank that powered a lamp and often other craft items, such as candle molds and hot glue guns.

  Mamm picked up a faceless doll from one of the shelves. Oh, how Ivy had enjoyed making this, her first big sewing project, when she was only seven. Mamm handed it to Ivy. “This is who we’ve always been. This is who we can continue being. You love making people happy, but throwing well-planned parties isn’t the only fulfilling way to touch people’s lives with joy. You already decorate Greene’s Pharmacy, why not make decorating stores in downtown your business for every holiday? You can enjoy music in Englisch houses while you clean and continue leading the Christmas caroling every year. You could travel to various towns during their arts and crafts shows and get new ideas that are just as exciting as any party-planning jobs. Put your creative talents to good use right here. You can’t have everything, but with some effort, I think you could find something even better.”

  Mamm had thought this through, and her points sounded valid. Ivy wished she could accept them. “Mamm, if I were to stay Amish, I’d still have all the rules of the Ordnung imposed on me, constantly directing my life. What I wear, how I travel, how I build my business—everything is ruled by the Ordnung. And when everyone moves on from this farm, and that’ll be soon, I’ll be back to living your life, not mine.”

  Mamm’s eyes swam with unshed tears. “Okay.” She wiped her eyes and walked out of the craft room.

  Ivy set the little doll back on her shelf and followed. “Mamm, don’t walk off. Where are you going?”

  Without answering Mamm went to the front of the house, stepped onto the porch, and rang the dinner bell.

  “We’re still talking.”

  “I think you’ve said it all, Ivy, and it’s lunchtime. After that Magda and I are making tomato sauce and canning it.” Mamm straightened one of the rocking chairs.

  A moment later Arlan and Magda came into view and soon were on the front porch.

  “Arlan, tell Ivy what you told me about the cows this morning.”

  Was now really the time to talk about cows?

  Arlan looked from Ivy to her Mamm, seeming leery of what he’d walked into. “Oh, um, I was just saying that the reason you’re having so much trouble making money selling your milk is you don’t have enough cows to support the overhead.”

  More cows was not the direction Mamm needed to go. “So you got a call from Troyer Yogurt and Cheese, and then Arlan explained what a great idea it was to increase the herd? Is that it?”

  Mamm fidgeted with the top rail of the rocker. “You know that we loaned out our cows after Ezra died, asking various relatives to hold on to some of the herd. They’ve tended to them and profited from it. At the time I couldn’t make myself sell them. The idea made me sick, as if I were selling your Daed’s dreams or a part of his soul. But I talk to those relatives all the time, and they’d be willing to give us a cow or two whenever I’m ready. Not those same cows, of course. I doubt they’re still alive. But the family would be generous, if for no other reason than I’m a widow trying to make ends meet.”

  Or you could sell our cows to them and make good money.

  Ivy refused to look at Arlan for fear she’d be overcome by emotion and shove him off the porch. Mamm opened the screen door and held it. Magda lowered her head, looking uncomfortable, but she went inside.

  Ivy bit her tongue, aching to speak her mind. She’d presented Mamm with a perfectly good compromise—that she would wait until January to leave—but that didn’t seem to matter one ounce. “Since our conversation is done, I’ll end with the information that I’ll stay until January for Holly’s sake. But that’s it, Mamm.”

  Mamm’s eyes narrowed, but she said nothing as she went inside after Magda.

  Ivy turned to Arlan. “Apparently you have Mamm’s ear, so I need you to talk realistically to her about this farm. She’s a fifty-three-year-old widow who
will have an empty nest in six months. There’s no way it’s a good idea for her to increase the herd.”

  “She asked me direct questions, and I answered her, Ivy. That’s all.”

  “But she’s clearly listening to you, and she needs to hear the truth.”

  “Doesn’t she, of all people, know what the workload will be if she increases the herd?”

  “She’s blinded right now, hoping for a miracle. Someone should look out for this widow and tell her the truth of the matter. Okay?”

  His brows furrowed, and he looked unsure. “I’ll think about it.”

  He’ll think about it? Anger pounded Ivy as she walked into the house.

  Ten

  Evening light shone through the new plate-glass windows of the pharmacy as the last few customers of the day continued to shop. Holly smiled at the blond-and-gray-haired Old Order woman standing at the pharmacy counter. “Rosanna, I’m so glad you came in today to pick up your meds. I was getting worried you would run out.”

  “Truth be told, I wasn’t sure you were open, what with the accident and all.”

  Holly’s smile wavered at the thought, and she tried to shore it up. Greene’s had been closed only two days, and even now, three weeks later, those couple of days were having long-reaching effects on their business. “Nope, we’re good as new.”

  “I can see that.” Rosanna looked over her shoulder. Ivy was in the display section of the new windows, hanging shiny tinsel and Christmas lights.

  What a relief to have the front of the pharmacy whole again! It’d taken a while to make and ship the new plate glass in the exact size they needed. Before the glass was installed, Greene’s had temporarily used a side entrance for both employees and customers, and the store’s business had been obviously slower without the easy-to-access front door. Yesterday Ivy came up with the idea to put out some of the Christmas decorations for a few days—or weeks—to attract attention to the fact that Greene’s pharmacy had new windows and a fully repaired front entrance. A “Christmas in July,” complete with sales on a few select front-store items.

  Holly handed Rosanna the three white prescription bags. “Did you have any questions today on those medicines?”

  “Nee, denki, dear. We’ve had them all before, as you know.”

  Holly told Rosanna the total, and the middle-aged woman paid her in cash. At least this customer had returned despite the store having been closed for a few days and being a mess to navigate until the last forty-eight hours.

  After saying goodbye to Rosanna, Holly looked up at the Rhythm Clock hanging on the wall. Twenty till seven, almost Greene’s closing time. Good. Brandon stood at his station, working on the daily legal paperwork. She still had time to finish inputting the prescriptions that customers would come for tomorrow morning, and then she could go on her Friday night date with Josh.

  The door chimed as her customer left. Holly could now see her sister on a ladder leaning across the new front door to drape a garland covered in fake snow over the doorframe. Hopefully Ivy’s decorating wouldn’t bother any of their Amish customers. Holly had never heard a complaint from them about the decorations. Then again, Greene’s had never before decorated for Christmas in July.

  Holly still had the same questions she’d had for weeks: What was bothering Ivy, and why wasn’t she telling Holly about it? Usually when Ivy decorated or cleaned the pharmacy, she did so with a song on her lips and a wide smile across her face. She seemed so…off. And it couldn’t be about the car hitting Greene’s. During the past several weeks, the Swartzentruber brother had taken over the milking chore that Ivy hated. And as far as Holly knew, Ivy hadn’t dated anyone or ended any relationships. So what was the deal? Holly had tried to ask Mamm once, but Mamm had changed the subject in a way that discouraged asking again. So she hadn’t. She and Ivy used to talk every Saturday night for hours until they fell asleep. Between work, night school, and time with Josh, Holly and Ivy hadn’t spent a Saturday night like that in six months. She’d make sure it happened tomorrow night. Surely her little sister would tell her everything then. Focus and finish the scripts. She could think about only one thing at a time, and it was critical that she be accurate when entering prescriptions into the computer. It’d taken her years to get fast and accurate with her typing, but now it came easier than writing with a pen.

  The front door chimed again. Holly didn’t look up but continued typing the medication’s detailed instructions. As her fingers moved swiftly over the keyboard, she checked back and forth between the script and the computer screen to make sure she had it right.

  She finally glanced up to see an older Amish man with a long gray beard staring at her. “Good evening.” She kept typing. “How can I help you today?”

  “I’m Stephan, the bishop for Joshua Smucker’s district, Shady Valley Amish.”

  Oh. She immediately stopped typing—and even breathing. This was not what she expected at the end of a long Friday shift.

  “H…hallo. I’m Holly. Glad to meet you.” Was she glad to meet him? It would’ve been nicer if this meeting had happened in a different setting, like Joshua’s farm or at church.

  He looked around the pharmacy. “Joshua suggested I stop by and see this pharmacy that an Old Order member is so passionate about working for.”

  She laughed, hoping she didn’t sound too nervous, and held out her hands. “Well, here we are.”

  Ivy was hanging off a ladder, stringing Christmas lights. Good grief. Was it possible he came in the side entrance and hadn’t noticed her?

  “You like working here?” He sounded confused, but his eyes were focused on the shelves of medicine, not on Ivy.

  “Ya. Lyle and Brandon are good pharmacists.” She waved at Brandon, who was still at his station and giving her the usual look when he was trying to decide if he should step in with a customer. “We get to help all sorts of people here at Greene’s.”

  “That’s good for now, but after you’re married, you don’t really want this kind of stress on you, ya? Wouldn’t you rather leave that to Joshua while you’re raising babies?”

  His words about her having Josh’s babies made her cheeks warm. “I certainly look forward to having a family with Josh and everything else related to God, marriage, and the Amish community, but I also feel led to help others through medicine.”

  “Led?”

  “My heart longs to continue helping people get well and understand the importance of the medications prescribed to them.”

  He seemed unsure, but he nodded. “Holly, I admire your bishop, Benuel Detweiler, and respect his decisions regarding your work as an unmarried woman, but I have to say, what I see today gives me pause about your marriage plans.”

  What? Pinpricks ran hot over her skin, and her head spun. The sound of glass breaking made everyone turn in that direction to see Ivy with a gold-and-silver garland wrapped around her neck. She held up both hands. “It’s okay. Remain calm. I dropped a glass ornament. That’s all.”

  Holly’s mouth was so dry she could hardly speak. She pressed her hands down the front of her black apron and counted to three. “I’m sorry. Can you tell me what you mean exactly?”

  He pointed at Holly’s computer. “You’re using that thing like an expert. And”—he motioned toward Ivy, shaking his head—“there’s another Old Order woman putting Christmas decorations in the window in the middle of summer. I was under the impression from Joshua that this store was more in line with our ways. It seems to me like a very worldly place.”

  It’s a modern pharmacy, she wanted to exclaim, but she chose a calm tone and gentle words. “I’m sorry. It does look that way at first, but the decorations are to catch people’s attention and alert them that our pharmacy is indeed open and back to business as usual. You may have heard that a car ran into the front of the store three weeks ago.”

  He nodded.

  She
tried to swallow but failed. “We use computers in the pharmacy to allow our pharmacists to catch more errors and to easily file our Englisch patients’ medications with their insurance companies.”

  He nodded a few more times. “Holly, I’m glad I came in today. I’ll pray for you. God will guide you on what you need to do.” With his hands in his pockets, he turned and walked out the store’s side entrance.

  Holly stared at her computer, not really seeing the words on the screen. What just happened? Somehow things were looking even worse for her and Josh. Before they were dating, she’d worried about her bishop’s reaction, but Benuel had been gracious. He’d seen the value of what Greene’s—and Holly—brought to the Amish districts in the area.

  “Something I can help with?” Brandon walked over to Holly’s station.

  “No, afraid not. That was Josh’s bishop. He’s not happy with my plan to continue working after Josh and I marry this December.”

  “But you said that your bishop approves.”

  “Ya.”

  “Then I don’t understand the problem. You’re all Old Order Amish.”

  She looked up at Brandon. Wearing that clean white coat, he reminded her of a younger Lyle. She and Brandon had been kids when she started working for Lyle and his wife, Beverly. Last year Brandon had achieved his goal of becoming a pharmacist. Could Holly still achieve her goal to become an LPN without having to sacrifice the beautiful life she wanted to build with Josh?

  “I know you don’t understand.” She ran her fingers over the keyboard. “Unfortunately, my bishop has to stay out of the way of Josh’s bishop, giving room for the man to come to his own conclusions—whatever that final decision is.”

  In the front of the store, Ivy climbed down from her ladder and then closed it. “Holly, I’m all done, so I’m going to head out. See you at home later.”

  “Sure. Thanks, Ivy.” It was past closing time now.

  As Ivy opened the door to leave, Julie and Josh walked in. His face lit up when he saw Holly, and her heart raced. If only they could go back to their normal, planned date instead of talking about this. She corrected her attitude. This was life, and she couldn’t avoid telling him what his bishop had said. Would Stephan change his mind?