Bestselling Bastard : A Hero Club Novel

by Nicole Rodrigues

  "Fynn! Fynn!"

  I reach for his neck, his face and lift his head, his eyes slowly opening to me.

  "J-Jenna. Are you okay?"

  "I'm fine, I'm okay. Are you?"

  "N-no. P-please..."

  I cup his cheek, as his teeth grind together and he winces.

  "Fynn, I got you."

  "P-please...help me, J-Jenna."

  I nod furiously, looking over his body and trying to figure out where the blood is coming from.

  "I...I love you. I love you s-so much…"

  "No, Fynn, we're okay. Stop, We'll be okay. Let me get my leg out. Hang in there for me, huh?" I cry, unbuckling my seatbelt and falling on my head from the gravity.

  I gasp in pain as my leg bends awkwardly, still stuck underneath the crushed dashboard.

  "Jenna, I can't. I'm not...I love you. I'll always love you."

  "Fynn don't you dare," I cry, squeezing his hand. "Don't you dare leave me. Help!" I yell, punching out the rest of the passenger window and sticking my head out of it. "Help us!"

  I'm sucking in air, trying to push down the pain of my leg and hear Fynn's struggled breaths.

  "Fynn, stay with me, okay? Stay with me."

  I kiss his hand as his grip on me becomes looser and looser, his breathing slower and quieter.

  "Live for me, Jenna. D-do what you l-love."

  "I will and you'll see me do it. We both will do what we love, together, right? On a big old farm and fightin’ over what to make for dinner and...and…"

  Fynn cups my cheek as he starts to cough, his grey t-shirt dark red now. I bury my face into his palm, crying as I cup his bloodied cheek.

  "Fynn, please…"

  "T-thank you f-for lovin’...me…"

  "No! Fynn! Help!"

  I hear sirens in the background and footsteps running toward us as I gently slap Fynn's cheeks, trying to keep his eyes open.

  "Help! He needs help!"

  In seconds, four people help Fynn and I out of the car and a hoarse cry is ripped from my throat as I look down at my knee and the giant piece of the dashboard sticking out of it.

  "Hang in there, okay?"

  My eyes are so heavy but I keep them open, watching the four uniformed men work on Fynn. I can't make out what they're saying but my eyes are focused on his chest. Up and down, up and down. Keep breathing. Keep breathing.

  "Hold on to my hand and we'll help you on the gurney, okay?"

  "No!" I yell. "I can't leave him. I won't leave him!"

  "Ma'am, you're losing a lot of blood, we need to remove the—"

  "We're losing him!" one of the men working on Fynn yells as they strap him to a gurney and put him into the back of the ambulance.

  "I need to go in there. I can't leave him!"

  "We'll follow behind, ma'am, you need medical attention yourself. Please."

  I nod quickly as I'm led onto a bed and into an ambulance, an oxygen mask snapped over my face. The ride feels like hours before we're at the hospital and the doors open.

  I look around, spotting the other ambulance and sit up in the bed as I'm wheeled through the emergency room. The crowd is thick around Fynn and I sit up all the way, ripping the mask off my face as I stumble off the bed and limp to Fynn.

  "I'm so sorry, ma'am. We tried everything we could," a nurse whispers, putting a hand on my shoulder.

  I look around at the machines, the flat lines, the faces of all the men and women that tried to keep him with me.

  "No," I whisper, grabbing Fynn's hand as I look into his face. "Why. Why did you...you leave me? Why does everyone always leave me?" I cry, leaning my head onto Fynn's damp chest.

  My cries turn hysterical as I unload all my sorrows onto the body of my first love, the boy that was supposed to break the cycle, the one who would never leave me.

  My eyes start to close as my body gets heavy, my head dizzy as I drop down further but soft hands keep me up.

  "We need to take care of you, ma'am. Please."

  I don't respond as everything goes black and instead of Fynn's face I see...Lorenzo's.

  I fist the sheets next to me and my eyes break open as I sit upright, clutching my chest. My heart beats so rapidly against my ribs, it's almost painful.

  "Shit."

  I rip my shirt off my body wiping the sweat off my forehead and stumble into my bathroom, turning on the shower.

  I keep the tears at bay until the cool water hits my skin, making me jump and then I let it all out. Losing Fynn, feeling the way I feel about Lorenzo, being around his family, knowing what will happen if I let myself love him, let him love me.

  The days and weeks after the accident, having to see Fynn's parents around town, his younger sister, knowing if he didn't love me, he would still be here with them. This is what I do and I need answers as to why.

  Did my father leave because of me? Did my mother? Am I just doomed to be alone forever, trying to keep the people I care about the most away from me to stay safe?

  I finish my shower, wipe the water and tears from my eyes and know that there's only one way to find out.

  Reaching for a towel, I wrap it around my wet body and walk into my room, reach for my phone and dial the number from the letter.

  After a few rings, a male voice finally answers.

  "Hello?"

  "Hi dad. It's...it's Jenna. I...think we have a lot to talk about. When…" I exhale, pressing my lips together. "When can I come visit?"

  "Are you sure about this?" Paisley asks as she helps me put the last of my things in the back of my Jeep.

  "Nope, but I have to finally face this. Runnin' from it, pretendin' it never happened hasn't worked so…"

  "You sure you don't want me to come? At least back to Dickson. You shouldn't do that on your own."

  I exhale, almost giving in at her offering because I know that's going to be the hardest ghost to face.

  "I gotta do it on my own, Pais. Thanks for offerin' though. Keep an eye on my baby, alright?" I smile, nodding to my fixer upper house behind her.

  "We got it covered, Jen. Your girl is in good hands, oh and your house too."

  I smirk at Gunner Hamilton, one of the guys working on my house and Paisley's new boo. He wraps an arm around Paisley's shoulder and I nod, leaning into her to give her a hug goodbye.

  "Call me every hour and update me. If you need me to take the drive, please tell me. I'm there in a heartbeat."

  "I know you are. Thank you, Pais. Love you!"

  I wave to them, getting into my truck and take the hour drive to Dickson, my hometown and the place I promised to leave and never come back to. It holds too many memories, too much heartbreak, too many pieces of the people that left.

  The town is still the same as I drive down Main street; little shops, crowds of people milling around, the big playground in the town square swarming with kids.

  I smile, trying to remember all the good times here, before everything went to shit.

  His street still looks the same aside from the big oak tree on the corner. Paisley said a tornado a few years back ripped it right from the ground. Fitting since it was right under that oak tree that he first kissed me.

  I sigh, knowing this is going to rip open the half-assed bandaid I put over the scar but I need to open an old wound if I ever want it to heal properly.

  Parking my truck on the sidewalk outside Fynn's home, I cut the engine and take a deep breath, walking out and heading to the light blue front door.

  After a few seconds it opens, Fynn's mother's shocked face hits me as I shuffle on my feet.

  "Jenna. What are you doin' here?"

  "Hi, Mrs. Higgins. I um...I just...I…"

  "Oh, sweetie, come on in."

  She moves aside to let me step inside and I press my lips together to keep from crying. I remember the smell of this house, spending most of my time here since I didn't have much of a home when Fynn and I started dating.

  A hand on my back guides me to the kitchen and then Mrs. Higgins squeezes m
y shoulder as she guides me to a chair at the island.

  "You're as pretty as ever. Lila told me you're a writer?"

  I nod, taking the mason jar of sweet tea she pushes my way and smile.

  "I am, yeah. I didn't know she um...she follows me."

  "Well of course she does. Y'all we're closer than sisters all those years back. She talks about you all the time," Mrs. Higgins scoffs, as if I should have known.

  "She...she does? I...I thought after the accident she would...y'all would have...hated me."

  "Honey…"

  Mrs. Higgins walks around the island, wrapping me in a hug and I can't hold back the tears anymore. Her hugs were always exactly what I needed.

  "None of us could ever hate you. What you went through...we could never imagine the trauma that caused you. We didn't wanna push you after, we gave you your space but we never stopped carin' about you. You were more than just Fynn's girlfriend, I hope you know that."

  She breaks the hug, lifting my chin to look up at her and I smile, wiping my tears.

  "Y'all always made me feel like I was so much more. I'm sorry I lost touch I just...I still blame myself and I could never face any of you. I...I took your son, Lila's brother…"

  "God took him, baby. He needed him more than we did for somethin'. You didn't do a damn thing. I hope you haven't been beatin' yourself up over it all these years."

  I let out a cry-laugh, wiping the remnants of my tears and shrug.

  "It's not a coincidence. My mama, daddy, Fynn...There's a reason they all leave."

  "Each had their own reasons, Jenna and none of them were you."

  She squeezes my shoulder and I keep my eyes fixed down, focusing on the swirls of black and white in the grey marble countertop. I hear her words but the guilt still whispers to me.

  "You seein' anyone?"

  My head snaps up and I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. I try again this time and stutter.

  "Y-you think I'm that far gone? You think I should see someone?"

  Mrs. Higgins laughs, shaking her head.

  "I meant a man, Jenna, not a therapist. You settled down?"

  "Oh," I laugh, shaking my head as I look back down. "No, I...I'm not seein' anyone."

  "Well that's a shame. A woman like you could do a poor man some good."

  I laugh, looking back up at her.

  "I don't think I'm meant for that life, Mrs.Higgins."

  "Well then honey maybe you should see someone if you're thinkin' like that," she scoffs, slapping my hand. "I knew the second I met you that you were meant for that life. You've got the biggest heart I've ever seen, Jenna. Don't lock all that love in a cage."

  I smile, getting to my feet as I hug her tightly.

  "Thank you, Mrs. Higgins. I'm sorry I barged in like this but give everyone my love."

  "You did no such thing, I'm glad you came by. Remember what I said and Jenna?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Seein' someone isn't a bad thing. It may help. The man and the therapist."

  She winks and opens the front door, pointing at me and I smile, nodding my head.

  Walking back toward my truck I feel a small weight float off my shoulders. A small, small weight because I have another big hurdle to overcome if I finally want to move on with my life...with Lorenzo.

  Chapter 14

  Jenna

  I press ignore on Lorenzo’s video call and bite my lip, pacing in my apartment. I know I need to finally see him but considering the last time we videoed, I watched him jerk off as he watched me finger myself, I’m kind of hesitant. Having gone through all the emotional shit I just did the last few weeks, one look and I'll shatter, I know I will.

  “God, just suck it up, Jenna. Keep your clothes on and talk to him like an adult.”

  I take a deep breath, waiting a few minutes to see if he’ll try again but a text comes through instead.

  Lorenzo: Stop hiding from me, Watson. I know you made it back home, Stacey spilled the beans. She’s worried about you and so am I. Open up.

  I groan, running my hand down my face when his last words register.

  “Open up? Is he tryin' to…”

  The video call pops up on my phone again and I instinctively grab the lapels of my zip up, fisting them together tightly as I answer.

  “Listen, I am not havin' video sex with you again. My panties are stayin' firmly in…”

  I hear giggling in the background as Lorenzo smirks, shaking his head.

  “Well, that’s a hell of a first impression. Open up.”

  “What...what do you mean open up? I thought you meant...who are you with?” A knock on my door makes me flinch and I look back at my phone, seeing Lorenzo’s big smile on my screen. “Are you outside my door?” I whisper yell.

  “Yes ma’am. My buddy’s wife wanted to go to Nashville for her birthday so here we are. Figured who else to give us the behind the scenes tour than a native.”

  “Oh God, they just heard me say all that?” I groan.

  “Oh don’t worry, I’ve heard way worse between these two. Open up, Watson, we’re getting antsy.”

  I laugh, shaking my head and feel the familiar flurry invade my belly as I hang up the phone and open my front door. The breath catches in my lungs as I see him again.

  It’s only been a month since our weekend getaway, but it feels like forever since I’ve seen Lorenzo face to face. The first thing that registers is his smell. It’s the same musky Irish Spring smell that I got so used to the week we spent together. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed it until just now.

  “H-Hi!” I squeak, my voice obnoxiously high as I clear my throat and step aside, letting all three of them in.

  Lorenzo’s friend looks a lot like Lorenzo; dark hair, dark eyes, but his smile is different. He sports a more serious half smile, as Lorenzo’s smile takes up his whole face. He puts his hand out for me and I shake it.

  “Nice to finally meet the Jenna Watson. Lorenzo only talks about you all the time. I’m Danny.”

  The woman next to him, blonde and petite, smacks the back of his head as she puts her hand out for me to shake.

  “Ignore my husband, he only has one setting. Jackass. I’m Emily, it’s so awesome to meet you. I’m a big fan of yours.”

  “Wow thanks."

  Lorenzo pulls me back as I shut the door behind all of them and he eyes me.

  "Hi, stranger. You want to tell me why you've been avoiding me for three weeks?"

  I shake my head and walk past him, knowing that if I open that can of worms right now, there's no going back.

  "So is this y’alls first time in Nashville?” I ask, as we pile into the kitchen and I get out a few beers, holding them up.

  “None for the wife. She’s got a bun in the oven,” Danny says, taking the beer and thanking me.

  “No shit! Congratulations! You look fantastic! When are you due?”

  “I’m still fairly early. Have another week before I’m out of my first trimester,” Emily says with a smile.

  Danny leans into her, kissing her as he puts a hand over her flat belly. I chance a look at Lorenzo and he’s watching them, a smile on his face before his gaze drifts to mine.

  He winks at me and I avert my gaze, hating how uncomfortable I am right now. I'm keeping so much from him, still trying to process everything that went down and knowing we need to finally have a real honest conversation. We’ve had such an amazing friendship but now crossing over the line makes the waters so murky. I know what I want but can I honestly get past all these fears and take it?

  “So where should we go first? If you’re busy, we can hack it as a threesome. Didn’t mean to drop a weekend of tourism on your doorstep,” Lorenzo says, brushing a piece of hair off my face.

  I suck in a breath, my eyes darting to his as he keeps my gaze hostage and my breathing starts to pick up.

  “I...no it’s...it’s okay, I’m not busy,” I add, breathlessly.

  “Good.”

  He takes a swig of h
is beer and turns toward Danny and Emily who are both giving us knowing smiles. I try to shake the embarrassment away and take a long sip of my beer, my stomach protesting.

  “I actually was gonna order in but if y’all wanna go grab somethin' to eat downtown, we can do that too.”

  “Yes! I’m starving,” Emily sighs.

  We all laugh, making small talk as we finish off our beers and head out the door and down the stairs to the street.

  “Did you rent a car or take an Uber over?”

  “We rented a car. Danny promised me that he’d take me to all the country music tourist spots!”

  “Okay, we can go eat at The Row if y’all like BBQ? It ain’t that far, we can walk it?”

  “BBQ sounds great,” Emily answers.

  She walks right up to me, linking her arm with mine as we walk down the street to the more populated part of the city.

  “So, how is life as a romance author? I have to tell you that this baby may have been a result of reading you and Lorenzo’s first book,” she whispers through the side of her mouth.

  I grab her hand, throwing my head back as I laugh, feeling a little buzzed from finishing my beer so fast along with barely eating a thing today.

  “Well then, if it’s a boy I think y’all should name it Lorenzo and if it’s a girl maybe Jenna,” I say with a wink.

  “I love Lorenzo but hell no would I name my son after him,” Emily laughs.

  “I heard my name!” Lorenzo yells from behind us.

  “No you didn’t!” Emily sing-songs back.

  “So how long have y’all known Lorenzo?”

  “Lorenzo and Danny went to High School together and I met Lorenzo at NYU. We were in a freshman orientation class together and got paired up for a project, ended up at a party where we ran into Danny. Lorenzo introduced us and Danny swept me off my feet,” Emily laughs.

  “Oh wow, what a cute story to tell the baby,” I gush.

  “Yep. Don’t worry there was nothing romantic between me and Lorenzo. We were always just friends.”

  I laugh and shake my head, hating that that small bit of info makes me a tiny bit happy.

  “Everyone’s got a past, I know that.”

  “Lorenzo’s always been pretty quiet about his. I wish I could give you some inside info but I’ve only seen him with a handful of girls and I don’t even think they were more than just arm candy for an event.”