by Cass Kim
After her long night on the cabin porch, Renna had agreed to take the vaccine. She’d told Soo just before dawn, as she’d returned from the lab. The woman had only nodded, and clasped her hand. She left again to make the preparations.
Emerson had run back shortly after, begging her to take longer to think on it. She had remained firm. He hadn’t left her side since then, saying something about making sure they treated her right. He’d started by demanding that Syd be the one to dose her, since he trusted her. Renna didn’t want to think about how Emerson had come to trust a girl his own age over his own father.
She couldn’t give in to him on refusing the vaccine, but she could give him this. When she was approached by Dr. Kim to begin, she insisted that Syd was the only person she would allow to administer the vaccine. The sterile lab and isolation tents were all within the camp, all near the generators, so Emerson wouldn’t be able to stay by her side indefinitely.
Renna nodded, then asked Syd, “Do we have to wait here? It’s so… quiet. And cold.” She would rather pass the time doing something active over sitting in the sterile room with nothing to do but think about if she was having side effects.
“And then if you have some weird reaction to either of the shots? What if you have an anaphylactic reaction to something in one of these?” Syd shook her head. “If you know what’s good for you, you won’t argue with the woman who is doing you more favors than she can count.” Syd had agreed to stay with Renna in this tiny room through the next two days, until it was time for her to be sedated. She’d brought the few fiction books she had with her to share and a deck of cards, too.
“If you think about it, you’re kind of doing the whole world a favor.” Renna muttered as she began rolling up her tee shirt to expose her bicep.
“Psssh, I did the world a favor by being born.” Syd’s response was half hearted bravado as she rubbed hand sanitizer on her hands and then pulled latex gloves on. “Emerson, I’m going to need your germ carrying ass to step back another foot, just to be safe.”
“Man, Syd, that’s harsh. It’s not like I’m some blood sprinkler that might suddenly splash you.”
Syd just raised an eyebrow at him, head cocked to the side.
“Okay, okay, my bad.” He took two large steps back, hands in the air in surrender.
Now that the time was nearing for the actual injection, Renna’s stomach was a roiling ball of nerves. She was too nervous to get a kick out of their banter. This next half hour might be the last normal moments of her life. Not that anything in the past few days had been anywhere close to normal.
“Last chance to change your mind.” Syd had the syringe filled, and was holding out an alcohol wipe for Renna. She met her eyes, “Are you sure about this?”
“No,” Renna admitted, as she ripped open the wipe and sanitized the area Syd indicated. “But we’re doing it anyhow.”
“Try not to tense up your muscle as the needle goes in – it’ll be less sore later if you keep it relaxed.”
Renna took a deep breath and met Emerson’s anxious copper eyes as she breathed out, barely feeling the needle. She felt the burning as Syd depressed the plunger and the serum entered her muscle.
“Phew! Alright, cool. Now we wait a little bit and then we stick you again. Good job not tensing up, kid.”
“Why do you keep calling me kid anyhow? I thought you were our age?” Renna would talk about anything right now that didn’t involve the enormous decision she’d made.
“Emers would like to think so.” Syd sniffed dramatically, “but I actually had almost a year of nursing training under my belt before we moved here. I’m twenty-one. Don’t worry, I know I don’t look a day over seventeen.” She gave Renna toothy grin and pulled off the latex gloves.
Renna ticked off on her fingers, “So, if you came here five years ago, you were only sixteen…how did you get nursing training before you came here?”
“Don’t let her cool attitude fool you. Syd’s a girl genius. How old were you when you graduated high school, again?” Emerson’s voice was taunting.
Syd rolled her eyes, still grinning, “before your voice even started to drop in puberty, Professor X.”
“Yeah speaking of my mutant power,” Emerson rolled his shoulders, “I’m going to take a breather out of camp for a bit. Sorry, Renna. I promise I’ll be back before Syd here sticks you with the big guns.” He slid his shades on and fist bumped with Syd on his way out. Renna had just opened her mouth to speak when he ducked his head back in the tent flap, “You can still change your mind, you know.” His tone was light, but Renna could still hear the seriousness of the offer.
Renna turned to Syd once he’d left, “Why do you call him that? Professor X.” She thought of his bitter words the night before, about how his life was not like a comic book character. “I mean, do you call all of the changed that?”
“Hell no. Half of them are only half human. Some of them are damn right scary to try to talk to. Emers’ family got a good batch. I just like to keep him off his high horse. You haven’t seen it yet, but that boy loves to show off his speed and strength.”
“What do you mean got a good batch?” Renna felt her heart rate spike. She hadn’t actually met any of the other changed in the camp, even if she had seen a few around. She assumed if she survived this, she’d be like the Kim family – more or less still herself.
Syd winced, “Yeah, I didn’t think that statement through. Sometimes my mouth runs away with itself.” Syd patted her hair gently, blowing a slow breath out. “Look, you got nothing to worry about. Those others… they were some of the earliest tests. We’ve worked out a lot of kinks in this.”
“How come you guys are testing on humans? Isn’t there, like, a law against that? How many versions of this ‘vaccine’ have you created?” Renna couldn’t keep the accusation from her voice.
“Do you see any Wilder rats or apes running around?” Syd’s voice was defensive. “It’s not like we can do animal testing when the virus doesn’t infect animals. We only take volunteers. Nobody’s forced to the change here. Which is different than you might see in the government labs, I might add.”
Renna rubbed her arms against the chill of the little air-conditioned tent and muttered, “I kinda feel like I was volun-told.”
“Trust me, it’s still better than being in a government lab. There you’re just some number. Here, at least you can say no.” She relented, “I feel you, though. There is a definite sense of duty to it. I’m glad my momma has never brought it up. I don’t know if I could do it… but I don’t know if I could say no either.” Syd ran a finger along the tiny bottle filled with the vaccine fluid. “What made you decide to say yes?”
Renna shrugged, not sure how to voice all of the reasons she’d tumbled around in her head all night.
“Alright, alright. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But we have twenty-four to forty-eight hours in here, so you know. If you feel like sharing, I’m here for ya. Unless I’m sleeping. Then you best wait ‘til I wake up from my beauty rest. Now scoot your tiny butt over and get ready to lose.” Syd slid onto the small medical cot with her and started shuffling the cards.
They played a few rounds of Go Fish and then a couple hands of poker, most of which Renna won, before Emerson returned, carrying a handful of wildflowers.
“Your girl’s a cheater!” Syd said over her shoulder as she tucked the cards back into the little case.
Renna stared at the flowers in his hands. “Where did you find those?”
Emerson half shrugged a shoulder, his cheeks pinking up slightly with embarrassment. “I ran a little ways to a clearing to find them. I just thought, you know. Something pretty for you to stare at while you wait.” Renna could swear the heat radiating off him felt warmer than normal. Maybe that was just an effect of the cold room they were in. Or maybe it was the warmth she felt spreading through her chest at the thought of him running at full Wilder speed through the forest just to find a handful of
flowers for her.
As she was about to give him a hug to show how much it meant to her, Syd’s watch beeped. It was time. Emerson’s face went carefully blank, as he set the flowers in a plastic cup on the table, stepping back to the wall of the tent.
Syd quietly nodded at Renna and began to sanitize her hands and prepare the needle. Renna suspected that half the camp could hear her heart thumping in her chest. Even though she was terrified, she knew this was the right thing to do. If this worked, then no more families would be torn apart by this disease. She could be a part of that. Part of repairing the future, so no other little girls would have to make the choice to die or watch their father get shot. She thought the cost, however high it may be for her, was worth it.
As Syd drew the cloudy yellowish liquid into the syringe, Renna thought of all the things she’d be giving up. How, like Emerson, she’d have to exist on the outskirts. She could only imagine what Alyssa would say, if she were here. Probably something funny, and then something heartbreaking. That was the kind of best friend she was.
Thinking of her best friend made Renna’s heart drop heavily. At some point she’d have to tell her about Benjamin. And about Diamond. Unless she didn’t make it through this. Then her best friend would be left to wonder what had happened to all of them. Maybe she’d already guessed, since none of them were answering any calls or texts.
Syd began wiping Renna’s arm with a new alcohol swab, half an inch away from where she’d inserted the immune serum. “Do you want a countdown?” The older girl’s voice was unusually grave.
Renna nodded, trying to catch Emerson’s eye. He still had his sunglasses on.
“We’ll go on ‘three’.”
She willed him to look up at her.
“One”
His gaze remained fixed on the floor, hands clenched into fists at this side.
“Two”
I’ll take you home right now if you want me to.
“Three.” Syd pinched her arm and inserted the needle in one smooth motion.
“Wait!” Everyone froze, including Syd, whose thumb had just started to depress the plunger. “I want to go home.” Renna stared at Emerson as his face snapped up and his nostrils flared. “I mean, I still want to do this,” She carefully gestured at the needle in her arm with her free hand. “But, I want you take me home so I can explain this to Alyssa and my mother. I want to get my favorite pajamas and see if Tim Tam is alive. I want to at least go into this feeling like I did it right.”
“Alright.” Syd fastidiously removed her thumb from the end of the syringe and slid the needle out, holding it gingerly in the air. She eyed the markings on the side of the syringe, then nodded slowly. “Here’s the deal. This is kind of dumb, and I doubt any of the ‘real’ scientists would allow you to leave. And also, what the hell kind of name is Tim Tam?”
Renna was about to protest when Sydney held up her gloved hand and continued, “But I feel for you. Like I said, I don’t know why you said yes, but you better have a good reason and a clear mind going into this. It won’t be easy.”
Renna nodded, “I swear, I’m going to come back. I just… I need this.”
Emerson remained silent, muscles tensed as if he was ready to grab her and run the second Syd changed her mind about going along with it.
“So,” Syd was very carefully sliding the needle into a cap she’d set on the table, “you got less than .05 milliliters of the solution. I highly doubt that will do much of anything to you immediately. But,” she continued, holding up a single gloved finger, looking Renna steadily in the eye, “it might. And, you have to be back here in less than twelve hours. That serum I injected you with peaks in twelve, and the half life isn’t going to be strong enough. It’s not exactly the sort of thing I can just keep sticking you with. Plus, I don’t know how long I can cover for you being gone.”
She turned, the capped needle in hand, and said sternly to Emerson, “Look, Emers. This isn’t some game or adventure. I know you don’t want her to do this, but… it’s still her choice. And,” she waved the syringe at him, “She’s already had a small amount. You gotta get her back here, she needs to be in isolation within the twenty-four to forty-eight hour time frame. There is still a small chance she could have aggression or other symptoms.”
“It’s cool girl genius, I hear you.” Emerson’s voice was low and tight.
Syd sighed heavily, “I hope this isn’t the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.” She unstrapped her watch, clicking a few buttons and then handed it to Renna. “It’s got your ten hour count down on it.”
“I thought you said twelve hours?” Renna reached out and strapped the watch on.
“I’m revising it to ten. Just to be safe. And, I guess you can’t exactly be walking around with everybody seeing you so…” Syd pulled off the dark green hoodie she’d been wearing, handing it to Renna. “Keep the hood up until you’re out of here.” She looked at Emerson, “And I mean like, past all of the sentry areas.”
Emerson nodded again, “I know, Syd. I’m not an idiot.”
“The jury remains out on that. I’ll make my decision when you two return. On time. In good health.” She stepped back then and waved them toward the ten flap. “Shoo, shoo. Off with you. Before I change my mind!”
Chapter Twelve
Renna and Emerson had walked quickly and easily out of camp. Emerson had his dark glasses on and a ball cap to shade his eyes from the morning sunlight, and even then he still kept his head mostly down. He’d set a brisk pace, seeming very sure of the path they were taking. After an hour of the fast pace, Renna was starting to work up a sweat. She was dragging her feet, the lack of sleep she’d had the past few days catching up with her.
“How much further is it?” Renna slowed as she began tugging her hand through the sweatshirt sleeve, needing to take off the hot hoodie now that they were well away from camp.
Emerson looked around for a moment, face scrunched up against the sunlight filtering through the trees. “About half an hour more at my normal pace… so probably one to two at your pace.”
Renna yawned as she tied the sweatshirt around her waist. “Can’t you carry me or something?” Her upper arm where she’d gotten the shots earlier was starting to ache.
He quirked an eyebrow at her, “Carry you? I might be strong and fast, but I’m still human. I get tired too.”
“Oh.” She felt her cheeks flushing.
He huffed out a soft laugh and handed her a granola bar from his pocket. “But we can take a rest break. We have plenty of time right now.” He sat down on a fallen log. Gratefully, she sat next to him.
Renna took the granola bar and started unwrapping it, something about the wrapper tickling the back of her mind. It wasn’t until he also held out a foil packet of purified water that it hit her:
“Hey! I found some of these in the woods out here the other day. Did you leave them?”
He sipped on his own water packet before nodding slowly. “Yeah… I have a few stashes around, in case I stay out longer than I planned to. Or if I get angry at my dad and just take off for a run. It’s not like there are a ton of people out here to steal them.”
“So I was close to the camp? I thought you said I’d never find my way home on my own.”
His eyebrow shot back up. “Could you tell me right now how to even get back to the camp?”
She cleared her throat, “Maybe. Probably.” She’d been following him without paying too much attention, lost in her thoughts of what was worth carrying back with her.
He nodded. “Yeah, the woods pretty much look alike, right? I mean, a little scrubbier as you go a bit higher, maybe some rock formations here and there. But when you’re in them, it looks like…tree, after tree after tree.”
She chewed her bite of granola, looking around them, “Yeah, pretty much.” She swallowed the gritty bar, considering the trees around them. “So how do you find your way around?”
“I’ve been marking the woods as I’ve learned them.”
He pointed a few feet behind them at a small circle carved into the bark of a tree, just above eye level. “There’s one of the marks. Circles lead toward the camp.” He made a circle motion with his finger as if mapping out the camp, “Because, you know, the camp is kind of shaped like a circle.”
“How many paths do you have?” She could see how people would miss the small marks. So far in the woods, she’d spent most of the time looking down and ahead, trying not to trip. For all she knew, the entire area had a map of trails carved by his hand.
“Just a few.” He pointed toward a triangle shape about the same height, this time facing them. “This one goes toward your town. Your house happens to be almost on the way. And there’s a couple other shapes that lead to a few of the other towns, for supply runs.”
“Oh.” She sipped on her water, dreading finishing their snack and having to start walking again. Her feet were still healing and sore; the bandages only did so much to cushion them. She glanced at Syd’s watch, ticking away the countdown. Eight and a half hours left.
He took another long sip and then sealed the pouch back up with the zipper lock on the top, shoving it back into one of his pockets. She followed suit and he reached out a hand to carry the water packet for her after she’d zipped it. Once he had their waters tucked away, he reached out to help her up.
“When you need a break, just say so. You don’t have to be a hero.” He shrugged belatedly, as if thinking about how this entire trip was based on the fact that she’d decided to ‘be a hero.’ The sun was glinting off his dark glasses, so she couldn’t see if the smile reached his eyes. She hoped asking him to take her back like this hadn’t crossed a line in their fledgling friendship. Gone was the easy teasing and soft honesty she’d come to expect from him.