In the Garden

by J. C. Greenburg

  Luckily, the leaf was covered with hairs. Judy grabbed one and pulled herself up. Andrew was right behind her.

  “Cheese Louise!” shouted Judy. “This leaf’s got lips!”

  Andrew looked out over the leaf. It really was covered with lips. And they were all open!

  meep … “Plant mouths,” said Thudd. “Plant get food from air. Not eat us!”

  Judy squinted at Thudd. “Are you sure?”

  “Yoop!”

  Judy and Andrew climbed farther onto the leaf.

  Suddenly the big purple button in the middle of Thudd’s chest started to blink.

  “It’s Uncle Al!” said Andrew.

  Thudd’s purple button popped open and a beam of purple light zoomed out.

  Andrew and Judy sat down on the leaf.

  “Hi guys!” said the hologram of their uncle Al. He was a little purple and they could see right through him. “Everyone okay?” he asked.

  “We’re sitting on plant lips!” said Judy.

  “But they’re pretty comfortable,” said Andrew.

  “You got yourselves into the garden!” said Uncle Al. “And my signal is reaching you better. You must have stopped Thudd’s antennas from rusting. You guys are really using your heads!”

  “Uncle Al,” said Judy. “We don’t have much time left to get unshrunk.”

  meep … “7:25,” said Thudd. “Thirty-six minutes till 8:01!”

  “I’ll be landing at the airport in thirty minutes,” said Uncle Al. “But it will take ten minutes to get from the airport to you. Right now, I want you to think about the sign over my office door.”

  “Oh, yeah!” Andrew nodded. “It says, ‘Questions have many answers.’”

  “You’ve got it!” said Uncle Al. “It’s the best magic I know. It works for anything. You can use it to make a pizza, find new planets, or get unshrunk!”

  ssssssss

  There was static in Uncle Al’s signal.

  “I’m flying through some storm clouds,” said Uncle Al. “My signal might cut out. But remember what I told—”

  sssssssSSSSSSSSSSSS

  The static grew louder, and Uncle Al disappeared.

  KAPOCKETA POCKETA POCKETA

  KAPOCKETA POCKETA POCKETA

  “The Atom Sucker is getting louder,” said Judy.

  “Um, it could be getting hotter,” said Andrew.

  Thudd’s antennas started to twitch.

  meep … “Hear rumble,” said Thudd. “Underground!”

  Suddenly, in front of the leaf, a mountain of dirt popped up. A slimy brown torpedo shape poked through it!

  FEELING SHAKY

  A long, bulgy thing was wiggling out. It looked like a Loch Ness Monster made of inner tubes.

  meep … “Earthworm!” said Thudd.

  “It’s the size of a Brontosaurus!” said Judy. “I hope earthworms are vegetarians.”

  meep … “Earthworm swallow dirt,” said Thudd. “Eat dead stuff and little dirt animals.”

  “Do you think it sees us?” asked Judy. “Maybe it thinks we’re dirt snacks.”

  meep … “Earthworm not got eyes,” said Thudd.

  The front end of the worm wriggled toward their leaf. A patch of bright sunlight made the worm’s damp skin look shiny.

  meep … “Sun bad, bad, bad for worm,” said Thudd. “If worm stay in sun, sun make poison inside worm skin. Worm die!”

  “Then why is it coming out?” asked Andrew.

  meep … “Worm feel stuff shake underground,” said Thudd. “Maybe Atom Sucker noise make underground shake. Worm try to get away.”

  “I feel kind of sorry for him,” said Judy.

  meep … “Worm not ‘him,’” said Thudd. “Worm not ‘her.’ Earthworm is male and female!”

  “Hyper-weird!” said Judy. “What can we do to make it go back underground?”

  “Maybe we can make a noise that will really annoy it,” said Andrew. “Thudd knows every tune he’s ever heard. He can even play the music. Thudd, do that song by Stinky Feet.”

  meep … “Worm not hear,” said Thudd. “Worm just feel stuff shake when sound get loud.”

  “It’s a loud song,” said Andrew. “Maybe it’s loud enough for the worm to feel it. Try it.”

  “Okey-dokey,” said Thudd. He started to sing:

  Dirty socks, dirty socks!

  They never clean,

  They make you mean.

  They start at toes,

  And then they goes

  From there

  Up to your hair!

  Thudd screamed the song as loudly as he could, but the worm kept coming. It lurched closer to their leaf.

  Judy and Andrew scrambled to their feet. They stepped back without looking and accidentally stepped right off the leaf! They drifted down to the dirt.

  clip-clop… clip-clop… flap… flap… flap Sandals and sneakers were stomping along the brick path. Mrs. Scuttle’s guests were arriving.

  “Well, hellooo, Mrs. Snarfless!” they heard Mrs. Scuttle say. “Sooo nice to see you. I’m sorry Mr. Snarfless can’t be here. It’s too bad about his toe problem. I hope they won’t have to cut it off.”

  “Look what I got!” came the voice of a little boy.

  “Jeremy Snarfless,” said a woman’s voice, “put that water gun down right now!”

  Mrs. Scuttle clomped back to the kitchen. She had changed out of her flip-flops. Now she was wearing red sandals with high heels and bows on the front.

  They heard Mrs. Scuttle mutter, “The invitation said ‘no children.’ She should have left that little rug rat home.”

  Andrew and Judy felt the ground shake as she stomped by.

  The worm must have felt it, too. It stopped moving. Then, very slowly, it backed into its hole.

  Thudd wagged his antennas.

  meep … “Hear something.”

  “I just hear the Atom Sucker,” said Judy.

  meep … “Rustle, rustle,” said Thudd.

  Out of the corner of his eye, Andrew saw something move. He turned to see a dead brown leaf shivering. There was something oozing out from under it!

  It looked like a yellow lake. And it was slithering toward them!

  “Wait,” said Judy. “I think I do hear something.”

  “It’s probably just, um, a breeze,” said Andrew. He didn’t want Judy to get upset again. “But you look like you could use some exercise. Let’s do some running.”

  Andrew took off.

  ANT-ICIPATION

  Judy took off after him. “Wait till I get my hands on you!” she yelled.

  They climbed over a twig and tumbled down the side of a rock. They fell onto something that looked like a fluffy white cushion.

  “Whew!” said Judy, catching her breath. “Let’s rest here. So what was all that stupid running about?”

  Andrew shrugged. “There was this humongous yellow ooze slithering toward us,” he said.

  meep … “Look!” Thudd pointed to his face screen. “Slime mold is fungus village. Most of time, little fungus guys live alone. But when fungus guys run out of food, lotsa lotsa fungus guys get together. Make big ooze parade. Look for new place to eat.”

  “Kind of like a class trip looking for lunch,” said Andrew.

  Judy frowned. “Great!” she said. “So will the slime follow us here?”

  meep … “Slime mold not climb down rock,” said Thudd.

  “Good!” said Judy. She touched the fluffy white strands of the thing they were sitting on. “This stuff is a little sticky, like cotton candy. But it’s nice and comfy.”

  Andrew looked around the place they had fallen into. Suddenly his jaw dropped and his eyes got wide.

  “Super-duper pooper-scooper!” shouted Andrew. He pointed to a mountain of dirt. “You know what that is?”

  Judy rolled her eyes. “It’s an anthill,” she said. “But you’d better not be thinking what I think you’re thinking. I don’t want to hear one word about your antsy-schmancy science report.”
>
  “Judy, we’ve got to get into that anthill,” said Andrew. “Now’s our chance to find out incredible stuff!”

  Judy shook her head. “After that ant sneaked up behind me on the sponge, I never want to see another ant again!”

  “Aw, come on, Judy,” Andrew pleaded. “I think the ants are asleep now.”

  meep … “Ants not go beddy-bye yet,” said Thudd.

  “Don’t worry,” said Andrew. “You don’t see any ants, do you?”

  “Every time you say ‘don’t worry,’” said Judy turning her back on Andrew, “an alarm goes off in my … YIIIIIIKES!”

  Andrew turned to see what Judy was screaming about.

  “AAAAANT!” screamed Andrew and Judy.

  The shiny black head was right behind them. They could see their reflection in the glittering wall of eyes.

  The ant closed its giant jaws around the fluffy cushion they were sitting on. Then it lifted their cushion and began carrying it— and them!—toward the anthill.

  meep … “Ant not eat us!” squeaked Thudd.

  “What?” Judy hollered. “We’re stuck in a pair of ant jaws and you say the ant isn’t going to eat us? I think you’ve been dipping your antennas into something weird, Thudd!”

  meep … “This farmer ant,” said Thudd. “Take care of mealybug.”

  Thudd pointed to the fluffy cushion underneath them. “Mealybug!”

  Judy gasped. “You mean we’re sitting on a bug?” she said. “It doesn’t even move!”

  meep … “Mealybugs not move much,” said Thudd. “Ant carry mealybug into anthill. Like farmer take cow into barn! Humans drink milk. Ants eat mealybug poop! People eat bug poop, too! Sweet, sweet, sweet! Stuck to Oody’s hands!”

  “EEEEEWWW!” said Judy. She frantically wiped the sticky white fluff off her hands.

  The next second, the ant zipped down into the anthill. It was like going down a chimney. It got dark. Then it got darker. Their noses filled with damp, moldy smells, like an old cellar.

  Andrew unhooked the mini-flashlight from his belt loop and snapped it on.

  They were in a vast cave. The light fell on hairy white ropes sticking out of the walls.

  meep … “Roots of plants,” said Thudd.

  Other ants were skittering across the floor of the cave. One of them came up to Andrew and Judy’s ant. The ants waggled their antennas at each other.

  meep … “Ants talk with smells! This ant say she find lost mealybug.”

  Their ant skittered into a dark hole in the wall of the cave. It was another tunnel.

  “Cheese Louise!” said Judy. “We’re more lost than ever!”

  VERY IMPORT-ANT!

  They came out of the tunnel and into a huge room of the cave.

  Andrew’s eyes grew wide. “Neato mosquito!” he shouted.

  Lying in the middle of the room was a monster-sized ant. It was a hundred times bigger than the other ants! It was surrounded by shiny white eggs. Worm-like things wriggled next to the eggs.

  Regular-sized ants were climbing among the eggs and worm-like things, touching them with their antennas.

  meep … “That ant queen!” said Thudd. “Queen ant make all ant babies. Ant babies hatch from eggs. Look like worms. Ant queen use smell to rule! Lotsa ants take care of queen and ant babies.”

  Their ant carried them through the queen’s room into another dark tunnel.

  Judy moaned. “How are we ever going to get out of here?”

  meep … “Got idea!” said Thudd. He pointed to his antennas. “Thudd make smells like ant. Try make smell that tell ant to take us out!”

  Thudd’s antennas waggled. Andrew and Judy couldn’t smell anything. But their ant came to a stop and put down the mealybug.

  “Oop!” said Thudd. “Wrong smell.”

  Thudd waggled his antennas again. The ant gently picked up the mealybug and scampered down the tunnel.

  meep … “Try again,” said Thudd, waggling his antennas.

  This time, the ant’s antennas waggled, too. It turned around in the tunnel and began to race toward the queen’s room.

  In the queen’s room, ants were scurrying frantically. Some carried eggs. They were all leaving. Their ant rushed out with the others.

  “Holy moly, Thudd!” said Andrew. “What did you tell them?”

  “Make big danger smell!” said Thudd.

  Andrew saw a dot of light ahead. Their ant was scrambling up the tunnel that led outside. Andrew turned off his flashlight and clipped it back on to his belt loop.

  “We’ve got to get off this ant!” said Andrew.

  “Without getting stomped by the other ants,” said Judy.

  The ant’s head popped out of the anthill. Andrew took a big breath of fresh air.

  Ants were trailing out into the garden. Andrew and Judy tugged themselves away from the sticky mealybug.

  Their ant was skittering over a rock. The ground below was covered with brown teacup-shaped things. They were half the size of the ant, but they were big enough to be swimming pools for Andrew and Judy. At the bottom of each cup were shiny black blobs.

  Andrew pointed to the strange cups. “We can jump into one of those. We’ll be safe there until the ants go by,” he said.

  Judy nodded.

  meep … “Okey-dokey,” said Thudd, “as long as no rain happen.”

  “It’s sunny!” said Andrew. He jumped off the mealybug. Judy followed.

  Andrew and Judy drifted down into one of the cups. They landed on one of the shiny black blobs. It was sticky.

  meep … “Land in cannon fungus,” said Thudd.

  “Cannon fungus?” said Andrew. “Why do they call it that?”

  “Aaaaaack!” they heard Mrs. Scuttle scream. “I’m soaking wet! Drop that water gun right now, you little beast!”

  “Nuh-uh!” Jeremy Snarfless answered loudly. He gave a nasty laugh.

  Splaaaaat!

  A big drop of water splashed into the cannon fungus.

  “Oop! Oop! Oop!” said Thudd. “Hang tight!”

  The next instant, the blob, with Andrew and Judy and Thudd on top of it, flew out of the cup! They whizzed up through the leaves. It was like riding a rocket!

  “Yaaaargh!” yelled Andrew.

  “Yeow!” yelled Judy.

  meep … “That why it called cannon fungus,” said Thudd. “Black blob filled with baby fungus spores. When cannon fungus get wet, shoot blob into air so baby fungus find place to live!”

  “Zip it, Thudd!” hollered Judy.

  The little blob paused, then began to fall!

  SO N-EAR, YET SO FAR

  The blob plopped onto a bumpy purple place dotted with spiky pollen.

  meep … “Land on daisy petal,” said Thudd.

  “Ah-choooooof!” sneezed Judy.

  “Bless oo!” said Thudd.

  Andrew tugged himself off the blob and walked to the edge of the petal.

  From there he could see most of Mrs. Scuttle’s garden. There were lots of people now. Mrs. Scuttle was serving food from a tray.

  She was talking to a tall man with knobby knees and bushy eyebrows.

  “Oh! Mr. Ditzworth!” she said. “I hope Boot-a-Pest got rid of those nasty bats in your bathroom!”

  Mr. Ditzworth shook his head.

  “Tsk, tsk,” said Mrs. Scuttle. “Don’t worry. We’ll be back to boot your bats again!”

  She pushed her tray toward him. “Have another teensy cheesy sandwich. These have caviar.”

  Mr. Ditzworth’s eyebrows rose. He picked up a sandwich and nodded.

  Jeremy Snarfless reached up to the tray. He grabbed a sandwich and sniffed it.

  “What’s caviar?” he asked.

  “Fish eggs!” said Mrs. Scuttle coldly.

  “YUCK!” hollered Jeremy.

  He pitched the sandwich into the garden. It landed a few feet away from the daisy.

  Harley came running over. He snuffled among the leaves, found the sandwich, and gobbled it down. One of his
long ears flopped against a lily. He raised his rear leg and scratched his ear.

  “Look!” said Judy. “If we can get him to come over here and scratch his other ear, maybe he’ll shake the helicopter out.”

  “Harley!” yelled Mrs. Scuttle. “Get out of there! Now!”

  She rushed toward Harley. Suddenly she wobbled on her high-heeled sandals. The sandwich tray flew out of her hands!

  The sandwiches flew into the air. One of them landed beneath the daisy.

  “This could be good!” said Judy.

  Harley wagged his tail and bounced into the leaves, searching for sandwiches.

  The tray hit the fence and clanked to the ground.

  BZZZZZZZZ

  Angry buzzing filled their ears. Yellow-and-black-striped insects were flying low above their flower.

  meep … “Yellow jackets!” said Thudd. “Yellow jackets got nest underground. Mrs. Scuttle hit nest with tray. Make yellow jackets angry. Yellow jackets attack!”

  Yellow jackets zoomed toward the garden party.

  “Duck!” yelled a woman.

  “I don’t see a duck,” said another.

  “Yellow jackets!”

  Mrs. Scuttle’s guests waved their arms and bumped into each other as they scurried away from the yellow jackets.

  meep … “Rumble, rumble underground!” said Thudd.

  “Are you hearing worms again?” asked Judy.

  “Noop! Noop! Noop!” said Thudd. “Cicadas comin’ out soon, soon, soon, soon! Millions!”

  “And here comes Harley!” said Judy.

  In an instant, Harley’s big black nose was sniffing the top of their daisy.

  Judy pushed Andrew down onto the petal. “Stay low!” she said. “I love Harley, but I am not going swimming in dog snot again!”

  Harley’s nose moved away from the daisy and headed down to the sandwich.

  “How do we get Harley to scratch his ear?” asked Andrew.

  “Hmmmm …,” murmured Judy. “I have an idea. Give me the Drastic Elastic.”

  Andrew unzipped the secret pocket under his collar and pulled out the Drastic Elastic.

  Judy grabbed it. It was incredibly stretchy and had a little cup at each end.