The Family Plan

by Gina Wilkins

  “I’m happy for you, Tom. I know this is what you wanted.”

  “It’s what we both wanted. It’s all we talked about in school.”

  “I know.”

  “You gotta come out here, Katie. I’ve been talking about you. The partners are interested in meeting you. And this is definitely a good time for you to come.”

  “Tom, I told you I couldn’t possibly come to L.A. until after the first of the year. Even if there were an opening that had to be filled immediately, I would have to decline. I have obligations here—a couple of big cases of my own.”

  “Like what? DWIs? Divorces? Bankruptcies? Good ol’ boys in neck braces suing grocery stores over faked slip-and-falls?”

  She didn’t appreciate his condescending summary of a small-town law practice, even though she had once said the same things when they had dreamed of joining those big, impressive firms with their “precedent-setting” cases. “I’m finding a few cases here that keep me challenged,” she said stiffly.

  “Yeah, well, every case here keeps me challenged,” he boasted.

  He’d apparently become prone to exaggeration in the almost two years since she had last seen him. She suspected his new circumstances had changed him in other ways, too. She could picture him wearing the “right” suit, tie, watch and shoes, driving the “right” car and living in the “right” neighborhood. Everything he had always wanted—and that she had always believed she wanted for herself.

  “Surely you can take a few days off,” he urged. “I’m telling you, the time is hot. One of the junior partners has derailed herself—gotten pregnant with twins, of all things. The suits are going to be looking for her replacement.”

  “She’s leaving the firm?”

  Tom snorted. “Not officially. But she’s already having to cut back because she’s sick a lot. And she’s starting to make noises about wanting to spend some time with the babies during their first year. They won’t fire her, of course. They don’t want to open themselves up to that sort of litigation, but she can kiss a full partnership goodbye. She had better learn to be happy with ugly divorces and child custody battles.”

  “Surely there are high-ranking women in your firm with children.”

  “Maybe. If so, they don’t sit around swapping baby pictures. I guess they hire nannies to take care of the kids so they can concentrate on the job. You can bet none of the senior partners here take many personal days off.”

  “And you’re happy working there?” she couldn’t help asking.

  “Katie, it’s exhilarating! Keeps you sharp and on your toes every minute. I get up every morning fully charged and ready for battle. Every win is a high and every loss makes me only more determined to win the next one. I love working here, and I just know you would, too. It’s everything you and I always hoped we would find. Let me set something up for you.”

  “Tom, I truly appreciate your offer, but I really can’t get to L.A. for an interview just now. I have a medical malpractice case that’s taking every spare moment I can give it, and that’s in addition to my other workload. Maybe I’d be able to take a long weekend toward the end of January, maybe February, but it just isn’t going to happen now. Surely you know that I take my work commitments seriously. That’s why you think I’d be an asset to your firm, isn’t it?”

  His regretful sigh traveled clearly through the phone lines. “That’s exactly why. But I thought you were a little better at setting priorities. Giving up an opportunity like this for a case any country lawyer in that state could handle, well, it makes me wonder whether you’re really as ambitious as you always led me to believe. There are others from our class who would leave their dying mothers’ bedsides for a chance like this.”

  The analogy made Caitlin wince. She had discovered she didn’t much like the man Tom had become in the past two years. Had he always been like this? Had she once been in danger of becoming like him? “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

  “Oh, hell, Katie, you know I still think the world of you. I always believed you were too good for some dinky Mississippi two-man firm, and I still believe it. Paula’s twins aren’t due until March. I’ll call you again after the first of the year, okay?”

  “I’ll certainly try to make time to talk with you then,” she said because she had learned never to burn bridges.

  “Great. In the meantime you can be thinking about where you really want to end up in a few years. Think about what you’ve got there and everything that’s available to you here. I think we both know where the real excitement is.”

  They disconnected a few moments later. Rubbing her aching temples, Caitlin turned her chair away from the phone and toward the computer again. The move brought her face-to-face with Nathan, who stood in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl darkening his face. She didn’t know how long he had been standing there, but he’d obviously overheard entirely too much.

  Because she was suddenly feeling unaccountably defensive, she spoke a bit more sharply than she intended. “Taking up eavesdropping?”

  “Apparently, it’s the only way to learn anything important around here. I didn’t know, for example, that my partner has been talking to a firm in L.A. about arranging a job interview.”

  “I haven’t mentioned it because there’s really nothing to tell. I’ve been approached, yes, but it’s nothing formal or definitive. Just an old friend who thought I might be interested in joining his firm.”

  “And you didn’t think I’d want to know you’d been approached? Even if you didn’t think I deserved to be told as your business partner, didn’t you even consider discussing it with me as your lover?”

  Her lover. For some reason, she had never actually thought of him that way, even though that was exactly what he was, she supposed.

  He took a step into the office and closed the door behind him. “Are you looking for a new position, Caitlin?”

  “I’m not looking for anything,” she replied in frustration, pushing herself to her feet. “Tom contacted me. I’ve made no arrangements with him because I don’t have time to think about another position right now. In case you haven’t noticed, my workload is quite heavy.”

  “I’ve noticed,” he said with little expression.

  When he didn’t say anything more, she felt the need to fill the awkward silence. “I would certainly never neglect my responsibilities here or my commitment to my clients.”

  “Of course,” he said smoothly. “And it isn’t as if you’ve made any sort of commitment to me.”

  She rubbed her hands down the sides of her black pants suit, not quite meeting his gaze now. “We haven’t really talked about commitments.”

  “For some reason I thought that was implied the first time we went to bed together. I suppose, as a lawyer, I should have known not to take anything for granted that wasn’t unambiguously spelled out on paper, signed, dated and notarized.”

  Caitlin didn’t know what to say to that. She’d been so careful not to analyze their relationship; it seemed Nathan hadn’t thought there was anything to analyze.

  In his mind, they were a couple. Case closed.

  That sort of thinking terrified her.

  “I didn’t say I’m interested in moving to L.A. or joining Tom’s firm,” she said, choosing her words with care. “But I would like to think my options are still open if an exceptional opportunity comes along.”

  “I see. Well, don’t worry about me standing in your way.” He turned to open the door again. “All I want is for you to be happy, Caitlin. If you can’t envision that here, with me, or with our firm, then you should definitely go find it elsewhere. God knows it would be better for you to make that decision now rather than later. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get home to Isabelle.”

  “Nathan—”

  The door closed behind him. The sharp snap of the latch sounded strangely petulant.

  Caitlin sank into her chair again with a muttered curse. To say the least, that had not gone well. Na
than was angry and hurt that he’d heard about the offer by accident.

  Though she hardly approved of his eavesdropping on a private phone call, she supposed she should have told him about Tom’s professional overtures. Lindsey had certainly urged her to do so. Caitlin suspected that the reason she hadn’t said anything to him was because she had known he wouldn’t react well.

  He’d said he would prefer her to leave sooner rather than later. They had both brought emotional baggage into their affair or relationship or whatever it could be called. She carried her driving need for success, which in her mind was synonymous with personal fulfillment and security. He still remembered the pain of having someone he loved abandon him to selfishly pursue happiness elsewhere.

  Someone he loved. Did Nathan love her or think he did? Even more importantly, did she love him?

  Yes. That answer came to her immediately and unequivocally.

  Was she ready to make a lifelong commitment to him and, of course, to Isabelle, who came as part of the package?

  She simply didn’t know.

  It was better to decide sooner rather than later. Nathan was absolutely right about that. They couldn’t keep drifting along this way. It seemed it was up to her to decide where they would go next.

  “You’re sure you don’t want me to stay with Isabelle this evening?” Fayrene Tuckerman asked Nathan Friday evening. It was the day after he’d overheard Caitlin talking to her buddy in California. He had seen Caitlin only a couple of times since, and then only with other people around. He’d arranged that deliberately.

  “No, thank you,” he said, setting down the computer case and briefcase he had brought home for the weekend. “I have no plans for the evening.”

  “Ms. Briley’s coming here for the evening? Maybe I should make some of that hazelnut coffee she likes before I go.”

  “Ms. Briley isn’t coming. It’s just Isabelle and me tonight.”

  He tried to speak lightly, but there had been something in his voice that made his housekeeper plant her hands on her skinny hips and study him through narrowed eyes. “Is something wrong between you and Ms. Briley?”

  It was absolutely none of her business, of course, and he would have told her so, but she looked too much like her sister at that moment. He shuffled his feet on the kitchen floor and muttered, “We’re…evaluating our relationship.”

  At least, Caitlin was, he thought sullenly. He had thought their relationship was progressing just fine. Little had he known that while he’d been thinking of a lifelong partnership, she’d been keeping one eye on the door and both ears open to better offers.

  “Okay, what did you do?” Fayrene asked with a stern shake of her head.

  “What did I do?” he asked, his jaw nearly dropping. “You automatically assume it’s something I did?”

  She only looked at him.

  “Caitlin’s the one who said she wants to keep her options open,” he all but snarled. “She’s considering a job interview with some high-profile law firm in California.”

  “It must be quite flattering for her to think a fancy firm like that would be interested in her.”

  He snorted. “Much more flattering, I suppose, than having a simple country lawyer interested in her.”

  “I didn’t say that. Nor would anyone ever call you simple.”

  Nathan pushed a hand through his hair and cleared his throat, suddenly embarrassed to be discussing his personal life with his housekeeper. “It’s up to Caitlin to decide what she wants. I can’t find the answers for her.”

  “No. But you can tell her what you want. Might be the answers aren’t all that different.” Fayrene reached for her purse. “Guess I’d better go before I push my nose any deeper into your business. But what’s the benefit of having the wisdom of age if you can’t share it with a couple of confused young people?”

  “Now you sound like my mother.”

  She smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Good night, Mr. McCloud. I’ll see you Monday, unless you need me beforehand.”

  “Thanks, Mrs. T. I’ll…consider your words of wisdom.”

  She left him standing in the kitchen wondering just how far apart his and Caitlin’s desires really were.

  Lindsey studied Caitlin from across the restaurant table. “Have you decided what you’re going to do?”

  Caitlin frowned intently at the menu in front of her. “I’m trying to decide what to order for dinner. I think I’ll have the veal.”

  “You know I wasn’t talking about food.”

  “That’s all I want to talk about right now. I’m starving.” It was a lie, of course. She hadn’t been hungry since Nathan had stormed out of her office, but she was determined to at least give the appearance of normality this evening.

  Lindsey glanced up at the server who approached their table, order pad in hand. “I’ll have the scampi.”

  Caitlin felt her throat tighten. She wasn’t sure she would be able to eat a bite. Lindsey hadn’t intentionally tried to upset her, of course, by ordering Nathan’s favorite food. She didn’t even know the choice would remind Caitlin of Nathan. But then, just about everything did.

  She placed her own order mechanically, unable to force a smile.

  “You look like someone’s twisting a knife in your gut,” Lindsey said inelegantly when the server had moved away. “Are you going to talk to me or not?”

  “What do you want me to say? That you were right? I should have told Nathan about Tom’s offer before Nathan found out for himself? Okay, I’ll say it. You were right.”

  “He was pretty mad that you hadn’t told him, huh?”

  “He was livid that I would even consider looking at another firm.”

  “Did you talk to him about it?”

  “He didn’t give me a chance.” Caitlin rather viciously tore into a crusty breadstick, scattering crumbs on her bread plate. “He acted like a betrayed lover who’d overheard me setting up a tryst with another man.”

  “Interesting. You think he’s jealous of Tom?”

  “I don’t know. Like I said, he didn’t give me a chance to explain anything.”

  “Well then, you have to make him listen,” Lindsey pronounced matter-of-factly. “Tell him how you feel. About everything. The job. Him.”

  “I can’t make him listen to me.”

  “Sure you can. Tell him to put his butt in a chair and don’t let him get up until you’ve had your say. Men are like children, you know. If you don’t lay down the law at times, they’ll walk all over you.”

  Rolling her eyes, Caitlin muttered, “Since when are you suddenly an expert on men?”

  Lindsey grinned. “Four brothers, remember? And every one of them thick as stumps. If they hadn’t all married well, heaven knows what would have become of them.”

  “Nathan is hardly thick as a stump. And I’m not going to treat him like a slow child. He has some reason to be hurt that I didn’t tell him about Tom’s letters.”

  “So now you’re defending him. Just what is it you do want, Caitlin?”

  “What I want,” Caitlin said from between clenched teeth, “is for everyone to stop asking me what I want.”

  Lindsey studied her for a moment, then reached for her wineglass. “There’s the rub, you see. Until you decide exactly what it is you want, and learn how to put it into words, you’re never going to have it.”

  Caitlin looked back at her friend with tormented eyes. “And do you know what it is you want?”

  Lindsey lifted her glass in a “touché” gesture. “Not yet. But I’m working on it. Here’s to us both deciding what we want—and having it all.”

  Caitlin obligingly sipped her wine, but the excellent beverage tasted a bit like vinegar on her tongue. Lindsey was absolutely right, of course. Until she decided exactly what it would take to make her truly happy, she didn’t have a prayer of finding it.

  Or had she already found it and was even now in danger of losing it forever?

  All in all, she decided, it was much ea
sier to decide what to do in the most complicated lawsuit than in her personal life.

  Carrying a small bouquet of yellow roses, Caitlin entered the nursing home room with the bright smile she always wore when she visited her mother. A uniformed, mocha-skinned woman was singing softly as she finished making up the room’s single bed. She broke off the gospel tune almost in midword to greet Caitlin cheerily.

  “Good morning, Ms. Briley. How are you today?”

  “I’m fine, thank you, India. And you?”

  “Oh, can’t complain.” Gathering the used sheets, she nodded toward the silent wraith sitting in a chair by the room’s only window. “She’s doing real good today. Ate all her breakfast.”

  Sylvia Briley had to be hand fed at every meal, one bit of soft food after another placed into her mouth. Sometimes throat massage was required to induce her to swallow. It was a slow, tedious process that Caitlin had done herself on countless occasions. “That’s good to hear.”

  She crossed the room to set the roses in a clear plastic vase she kept there for that purpose, since she always brought flowers. Yellow roses or white and yellow daisies—those had always been her mother’s favorites. And even though Sylvia no longer appreciated the beauty of the blooms, Caitlin would continue to bring them.

  Saying she would see Caitlin later, India left the room, taking up her song again exactly where she’d left off.

  A couple of framed photographs sat beside the vase of roses. With a rush of nostalgia, Caitlin picked one up and looked at it a long time before carrying it with her to her mother’s side. She pulled up the straight-backed visitor’s chair and sank onto it, positioning herself where her mother could see her, had she bothered to look.

  “Remember this day, Mama?” She turned the photograph toward her mother. “My college graduation. I was so self-conscious in that oversize gown and dopey cap, but you looked very nice in your best Sunday dress. And Daddy—”