Heart of Sin

by Nicola Jane

  “Livvy I want you so bad, look what you do to me,” he says grabbing his crotch area.

  A shadow looms over us and I watch as Vass approaches Dan from behind. He looks smooth and calm. “I’m gonna let that slide and put it down to you being wasted. But you touch her again and I’ll make you regret it,” Vass growls close to Daniel’s ear.

  Dan spins around, “Too bad for you cock sucker, she belongs to me so back the fuck off.”

  “Alivia,” says Vass firmly, his tone clipped but commanding. I step away from Dan and move to Vass’s side. Vass smirks at Dan.

  “Livvy baby, come home.”

  “Alivia is happy, leave her alone,” says Vass.

  “Her parents don’t even know we have split up. I’m giving you a chance to make this right Livvy, come home and we don’t even have to tell them. You know how much your Mum worries, this will send her over the edge.”

  I don’t get chance to reply because all hell breaks loose when Vass punches Dan in the face, blood splatters from his nose and I scream as it splashes up my arm. Doormen, from the club, rush over. They grab Dan and march him away despite his protests. Vass turns to me but before I hear what he is about to say a funny feeling bubbles in my stomach and then I lurch forward and vomit all over the pavement. I watch in horror as it splashes on to Vass’s black polished shoes. I slap a hand over my vomit covered mouth and mutter what sounds similar to an apology but even I can’t understand what came out. A white handkerchief is held under my face and I take it gratefully, wiping my hand and mouth. I slowly stand, awkwardness filling the silence.

  “I’m taking you home?” Vass says in a clipped tone. He takes my hand, despite my protests about it having vomit juice on. He leads me to his car and hands me a plastic bag, just in case.

  I can’t keep my eyes open as he drives us to my apartment. I feel myself being lifted from the car and I snuggle in to Vass’s chest as he carries me up the steps. I’m aware of an exchange in words with Vass and Keith and then I’m being laid on my bed. I feel him remove my shoes and then I hear him rummage in my drawers. “Alivia, where are your pyjamas?” he whispers.

  I shove myself up into a sitting position and pull at the dress, lifting it over my head and chucking it on the floor. “I sleep like this,” I grin. He leans closer to put the cover over me and in a misjudgement on my drunken part I lurch forward and grab him, forcing my lips against his and kissing him. He freezes for a second but then places his hands into my hair and kisses me back. I sigh, happiness warming my heart. He pulls back slightly. “Wow, are you feeling okay?” he asks.

  “I’m fine Dan,” I mutter, flopping back down on the bed.

  “It’s Vass,” I hear him say and then my bedroom door closes and I fall in to a deep sleep.

  The following morning my head hurts so bad that I’m scared to open my eyes. I know the light streaming through my broken blinds will hurt my head more. I reach around on my bedside cabinet and feel around until I find my alarm clock. Opening one eye I check the time. It’s almost twelve O’ clock. I’ve slept in later than I ever have. After a five minute pep talk in my head about getting in to such a state I manage to sit myself up. I glance down at my lace underwear and then have a horrible flashback of me taking my dress of in front of Vass, kissing him with my vomit smelling mouth and then calling him Dan. I cover my face and groan. I’m such an idiot.

  I reach for my mobile phone. There’s a text from my mother and four missed calls. I forgot to tell her I wasn’t going over to see her this weekend. I send her a text apologising and telling her I’m hungover and that I’ll call her later.

  I take a long shower and get into some comfortable joggers and then I collapse on the sofa and watch reruns of my favourite sitcom, waiting for my hangover to pass. The only time I move is to eat.

  It’s getting late and I must fall to sleep on the sofa. There’s a loud banging downstairs and it wakes me. I look around confused and slowly sit up. There’s shouting and more banging. My heart rate picks up and I stand, unsure whether to go and see what’s going on. There’s a loud knock on my door and I jump, gripping my chest to make sure my heart doesn’t jump out. I open the door and two police officers stand before me.

  “Mam, are you the only occupant in here?” he demands to know and I nod. “We have an arrest warrant for Mr Kenneth Elmwood.”

  “I don’t know who that is,” I say confused.

  “We have him downstairs in custody. If you could just sit tight up here someone will come and speak to you shortly.” I close the door and take a seat. I pull out my mobile and send a text off to Clarisse telling her that I’m freaking out. She texts me back saying she’s bored and free so she’ll come over and see what’s going on.

  It’s half an hour by the time the police come back to speak to me. Clarisse has already arrived and the police woman takes a seat. “How well do you know your landlord?” she asks.

  I shrug, “Not very well, he’s a bit creepy to be honest. He told me he was called Keith.”

  “His real name is Kenneth but he has a lot of aliases. Did you know that you’re the only person renting a room from him in this building?” she asks.

  “No, why aren’t the other rooms rented out, there’s six other rooms.”

  “And why have you arrested him?” asks Clarisse.

  “We have been looking for him for a while,” says the officer, “He attacked a former tenant, he’s quite a nasty piece of work.”

  I look over at Clarisse, the male officer clears his throat, “We found some things that are concerning. Have you noticed any of your things going missing?”

  “No, I’ve been pre occupied I guess. I started a new job and I recently split from my ex, things have been a little hectic.”

  “What kind of things?” asks Clarisse.

  The officers both look uncomfortable, “Personal items such as underwear,” says the female officer.

  “How the hell would he have my underwear, how do you know it’s mine?” I gasp, my mind racing and trying to picture my underwear drawer and if anything might have been moved.

  “I think perhaps you should come and take a look at what we found,” he suggests.

  Clarisse holds her mobile up, “I’m just going to make a call, I’ll come down right after.”

  I follow the police officers to the ground floor where Keith or Kenneth lives. The apartment is a mess. There are dishes built up on almost every surface. There are discarded newspapers and mail on the floor and dirty clothes scattered about. It smells of damp and dirt. I place a hand over my mouth to stop myself from vomiting and to block out the smell. Clarisse appears, “Jesus Christ it stinks,” she mutters, taking my hand.

  We step over the piles of crap and go through to a room at the back. I freeze. Every wall is covered with photo’s of me. My eyes scan over the pictures, me leaving for work, me talking to Vass outside the building, me asleep in my bed. I pull the picture from the wall and hold it to the officer, “How did he get this?” I ask, “This was me last night, this is what I wore in bed last night.”

  “We think he may have been watching you from day one. He takes in vulnerable women that need a place quick. He offers the rooms without a background check, without references and they are available straight away, of course people that have just been kicked out of a property or people experiencing a difficult time, it appeals to them,” says the officer, “He has a spare key to all of the apartments. We found pictures of other women. Are those items yours?” he asks pointing to a table.

  Some of my pyjamas are screwed up with different sets of my underwear. There’s a hair brush and a pair of my heels. I nod, folding my arms and hugging myself. “He was watching me when I slept,” I mutter, a shiver running down my spine.

  “It appears so,” confirms the officer. I scan over the various pictures of me asleep. Bile rises and I make a run from the apartment just in time, vomiting in the garden.

  “Liv.” It’s Vass, marching up the steps. I take in his evening s
uit, a bow tie unfastened but still hanging around his neck. I wipe my mouth.

  “The second time you’ve watched me throw up,” I say smiling weakly.

  “Riss called me. What’s going on?” he asks, gently rubbing my arm.

  Clarissa appears in the doorway, “I’ll show you,” she says taking him inside. When he reappears moments later he looks angry. He pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me. The safety of his arms releases something inside me and I burst into tears, burying my face in his chest.

  “Riss, go and pack her a bag. She can’t stay here,” he says.

  “She can stay with me,” she offers. I begin to protest but the look in Vass’s eyes tells me I won’t get my own way on this and he’s right, I can’t stay here now I know about this, even if Kenneth has been arrested.

  Vass follows us in his car to Clarissa’s house. It’s an old Victorian style house not far from The Luxe and I fall in love with it immediately. She has kept a lot of the original features giving the house a homely feel.

  Clarisse shows me to her spare room. It’s comfortable with a huge king sized bed. I get changed into some pyjamas and make my way back downstairs. I hear Vass and Clarisse whispering which makes me pause and sit on the stairs. I don’t mean to listen but they are whispering which intrigues’ me, it’s a natural reaction that my ears prick up when I think someone is discussing something they don’t want me to hear.

  “She hated her Riss, like really hated her. She point blank refused to engage further in the conversation,” he mutters.

  “I get where she’s coming from Vass. She’s a bitch and it’s obvious to everyone but you.”

  “But if I married her I could carry on as normal. My life would stay the same. It’s hard to find a woman that shares that lifestyle the way she does,” he whispers.

  “Maybe you don’t need that lifestyle as much as you think. There’s better things out there.”

  “I have to go back to The Luxe, she was raging that I had to leave her.”

  “Vass this isn’t you, you don’t run when some bitch calls. You say this is all for the end game but you act like she’s your wife, I miss the old Vass. Walk away because she isn’t the one.”

  “She is the one Riss. I’m marrying Annalise and everyone, including you and my Grandmother, will have to accept that.”

  I’m frozen to the spot. I can’t deny that my heart hurts to hear those words. It’s stupid really, I’ve known the guy a week, we shared one drunken, vomit tasting kiss that I don’t even remember properly and I’m upset that he’s with someone else. How can that happen. I’m still sitting there when Vass comes back through to leave. He looks up and see’s me. “Hey, are you okay?”

  I nod and fake a smile. “Thanks for coming, you didn’t have to. Apologise to Annalise for me.”

  “You heard me,” he says with realisation.

  “I wasn’t listening in,” I say and then laugh, “Well I was but it was an accident. Anyway it’s nothing to do with me. She’s nice, you look good together,” I fiddle with the edging on my pyjama shorts, “Look Vass, I’m really mortified about last night,” I say.

  He shrugs, “Don’t be, you were drunk, I get it. We all make bad choices when we drink. Forget it ever happened, I have.”

  I nod feeling disappointed, “Okay. See you on Monday, if I still have a job.”

  “See you Monday Alivia,” he says as he leaves. I sigh, I miss him calling me Liv.

  Vass

  So my plan failed, much to my mothers delight. She doesn’t get that I can’t rope Alivia into this, she’s too innocent and I know damn well she won’t go for it. Once I ask her she will not only be horrified but it might change her opinion of me and I can’t handle that. It’s been one week, one, and I’ve never felt so out of control around a woman as much as I do when I’m with her. My whole adult life has been about me getting control, over myself, over sex, over alcohol and yeah I guess over women too. I control how I feel all of the time and with her I lose it, I don’t like feeling like that.

  I get back to The Luxe and head straight for Annalise’s room. She turns to me as I enter, anger still present on her face. “So what was so important that you felt you had to leave me to make my own way back here?”

  “I arranged a car to bring you back Annalise. I wouldn’t have left you if it wasn’t important,” I sigh, pulling off my bow tie and dropping it, along with my car keys, onto her dresser.

  “So what the hell do we do now? The old bag hates me,” she huffs.

  “I’ll speak to her tomorrow. She’ll accept it,” I mutter.

  Annalise reaches behind her back and unzips her dress, the grey silk pools to the floor and she steps out of it. “Heels on or off?” she asks, swooping down to pick up the dress and put it neatly on the chair.

  “On. Is your father still flying in to London next week?” I ask unfastening my shirt.

  “Yes, I’ll arrange brunch for the day after he arrives and email the details to you. Bed or shower?”

  “Shower. I’ve got meetings most days so make it lunch.” I unfasten my shirt and then unbuckle my belt, following her into the bathroom. She leans into the shower and turns on the water and then turns to me and places her hands on my shoulders.

  “She has to come around before you speak to my father,” she says pressing a kiss to my lips, “You need to shave this,” she adds, rubbing at the shadow of stubble across my jaw, “Father likes men that are clean shaven, he thinks it makes for a good business man.”

  I lift her and she wraps her arms and legs around me, “I’ll book in to have a shave especially for it baby,” I say and then I freeze. Annalise looks at me, her smile fading as I lower her to the floor.

  “What’s wrong?” she asks.

  “This,” I mutter pointing between us, “Riss is right, what the fuck is going on,” I say more to myself than her.

  “I don’t understand?” she says following me as I collect up my belongings.

  “We just acted like a married couple,” I say, alarm on my face, “We did what married people do, we were going to have regular sex and we talked like married people, Fuck.”

  “You’re overreacting Vass,” she sighs.

  I open the door and she tries to close it again, “I have to get out of here,” I say pulling harder and practically running out of there.

  I manage an hours sleep before I decide to give up trying and head out to the gym. I need to work off this build up of testosterone before I explode. I run until my heart feels like it’s going to burst from my chest and then I spend an hour lifting weights, pushing myself harder than I ever have. By the time I leave the gym my whole body is shaking.

  I pick up a coffee and sit on a bench nearby pulling out my phone and flicking on to the celebrity gossip app to check out the pictures from last night’s charity event, I usually ignore the gossip but I want to see if they have wrote about me and Annalise. I glance over the headline above my picture and groan, what a cluster fuck. As I begin to read, my phone flashes with a call from Clarisse.

  “Morning gorgeous,” I say.

  “Don’t you fucking gorgeous me, have you seen it?” she demands.

  “Yeah, just. Has Alivia seen it?”

  “No, she’s still asleep. She really doesn’t need this shit right now Vass.”

  “It isn’t my fault Riss. You know what the press are like,” I mutter.

  “It never is,” she growls disconnecting the call.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Alivia

  I rub the sleep from my eyes. Clarisse is eating toast at her breakfast bar reading the newspaper. “Good morning,” I say.

  She jumps in fright and then laughs, “Did you sleep okay?”

  “Yeah surprisingly, I thought I’d struggle with everything that had happened but my head hit the pillow and I was gone. Thanks for letting me stay over.”

  “You know you’re welcome to stay as long as you like. My friend moved out two months ago and I haven’t got around to rentin
g out her room yet. It’ll save me a job,” she suggests.

  “What about Vass?” I ask, I don’t want to piss him off by hanging around his friends.

  “Forget Vass. I like you, I think we could be good friends. It would be stupid to go and rent somewhere else when I have a free room right here.”

  “I’d still prefer to run it past him first before I commit. Is that okay?”

  “Yeah of course,” she pauses and then turns the newspaper towards me, “Have you seen the news yet?”

  I shake my head and move towards the centre spread before me. I gasp. There are photos surrounding a story headlined, Love triangle for sex addict Vass raises concerns for his future with wealthy model. The photo beside it is of me and Vass kissing, the one that we posed for Khan. Under that is a photo of Vass and Annalise walking hand in hand on a red carpet. It must have been last night because it’s the suit he had on with the bow tie. In large print to the bottom of the story is a photo of Daniel, he has steri-strips stuck over a cut on his swollen nose from where Vass punched him.

  “Oh shit,” I mutter. I proceed to read the story with horror, tears filling my eyes.

  It was only Thursday that we brought you the story that London’s eligible bachelor was off the market. Thousands of hearts broke when pictures emerged of Vass Fraser with his new beau Annalise Collinsworth. The model was recently reported to be in financial difficulty when bailiffs turned up at her Knightsbridge apartment to remove items. Questions were raised about her motives for announcing her relationship to Vass less than 24 hours after the bailiff incident. The couple appeared happy and in love at last nights charity bash, help the children, held at the London Royal by Vass’s grandmother, millionairess Lady Fraser. She refused to comment of her grandsons new relationship but insiders report that she isn’t taken with the penniless model.

  Further questions have been raised about Vass’s inability to commit when he was spotted several times this week with new employee, Alivia Caldwell. Rumours have it that Ms Caldwell is not Vass’s usual type but that gives hope to all of us single ladies of London.