Never Let Me Go

by Kianna Alexander

Yvonne laughed, dismissing her sister’s suggestion. “Zelda, it’s not like that. Yes, he’s fine, and yes, he’s single. But I’m here to work for him. I’m taking care of his baby, nothing more, nothing less.” Even as she spoke the words, the same words she’d told herself at least a dozen times over the past week, she knew they weren’t entirely true.

  Apparently, Zelda wasn’t buying it, either. “Yeah, right. You’d have to be a darn fool to let a handsome, wealthy brother slip through your fingers. I’m sure you’re familiar with the half-assed, craptastic dating scene of today.”

  “Yeah. I wish I could say I wasn’t, but I know how rough it is out there.” Dating in the current climate sometimes felt like having dental work done without anesthetic. It was to be put off until it could no longer be avoided, and when it came around, you endured it. Hell, she’d much rather face the dental drill than have another overly casual young man ask her if they could “chill” together.

  “Then you’d better get your head out of your hind parts and work your wiles, girl.” Zelda paused. “Remember what Pop always said. It’s not how something starts. It’s how it ends.”

  Yvonne did remember their grandfather’s sage advice. And she could see how it applied to many things in life. “I know, Zelda. But since I just started this job, I need to settle into it first. Can you not pester me about this right now? At least let me get through the first month, okay?”

  “Deal. But in exactly…” Zelda paused, as if counting. “Twenty-four days, we will revisit this topic, ma’am.”

  Yvonne chuckled. “Don’t you have some pimples to pop?”

  Zelda scoffed at her sister’s teasing. “Excuse me, madam. I don’t pop pimples. I perform professional extractions to remove impurities from beneath the skin’s surface.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Either way, go back to work and quit bothering me.”

  Zelda laughed. “I love you, too.”

  After she disconnected the call and pocketed the phone again, Yvonne went back to her folding and her show. Halfway through the second episode, Yvonne heard Sasha’s cries. She took a moment to tuck the neatly folded clothes into the basket, then took it upstairs with her.

  The rest of the day flew by in a flurry of activity. The nap seemed to have given Sasha a second wind as well as a fresh wave of determination to perfect her crawl. Between catching the baby before she scooted off the couch, lying on the floor with her to play, and cleaning up a thousand little messes, Yvonne was good and worn out by the time she heard Maxwell’s car pull up outside.

  Scooping up Sasha, Yvonne went to the window and pulled the curtains slightly to the side to get a better view. Maxwell’s midsize SUV pulled into the garage, and three other cars followed him up the driveway. There was a large luxury sedan, a sports car, and another SUV, this one a little smaller than Maxwell’s. To Yvonne’s amusement, all the cars were jet black. I can see why they’re all friends. Their tastes are pretty similar.

  Sasha sneezed, her little body vibrating with the force of it.

  “Goodness. Bless you.” Yvonne turned her attention away from the scene outside the window long enough to wipe Sasha’s nose. When she looked again, she saw three men emerging from the squadron of black vehicles. All three were tall, though their builds were slightly different. She couldn’t make out their features beneath the winter gear of hats, scarves, trench coats, and bomber jackets. As they walked with Maxwell toward the front door, she moved to the sofa with the baby rather than be caught being nosey…uh…observing.

  Moments later, she heard the key in the lock. Bouncing Sasha on her knee, she waited for the guys to enter.

  Chapter 7

  “Come on in,” Maxwell said as he swung open the front door. “And wipe your feet. Don’t be tracking grass on my carpet.” He took a few steps back into the foyer, making room for Tyrone, Bryan, and Orion to enter, then shut the door behind them.

  He took off his coat, and his boys followed suit. As he hung his trench coat next to Yvonne’s wool coat, he waited for his friends to get out of their winter gear.

  Tyrone spoke as he unwound his scarf. “I can’t believe it’s this cold outside in February. I need spring to hurry up and come on.”

  “I’m with you,” Bryan groused. “I mean, I can’t remember the last time we had this much actual winter. Usually, by mid-February, the temps have gone up.”

  Orion tossed his fedora up onto the top of the coatrack. “Listen, I’m fine with it as long as we don’t get another ice storm like that one we had back in college.”

  All four men grimaced at the mention of that harrowing weather event. They’d all been trapped in the frat house on campus for days without power. Friendships had been tested by the close confinement, and while theirs had survived, others hadn’t been so lucky. Maxwell knew some of the brothers who still wouldn’t speak to each other, even after more than a decade.

  “That’s why I love my line brothers,” Maxwell remarked. “We’ve stuck together through thick and thin.” Maxwell gestured toward his living room. “After you, guys.”

  Bryan, Tyrone, and Orion filed into the room. Following his friends, Maxwell crossed the room toward the sofa.

  Yvonne stood, turning their way. She had one arm wrapped around Sasha, who was draped over her shoulder and sucking a pacifier.

  Maxwell started to make the introductions. “Yvonne, these are my fraternity line brothers, Bryan, Orion, and Tyrone. Guys, meet Yvonne Markham, my nanny.”

  Yvonne stuck out her free hand to each of the men in turn. “It’s nice to meet you all.”

  Bryan observed the baby, a smile on his face. “Look at my little niece. She’s getting so big. I think I can see a little of Lex in her now that she’s getting older.”

  “That’s those Devers genes shining through.” Maxwell winked.

  “Nah, come on, Max.” Tyrone ribbed him. “We remember what you looked like in college, bro. That pretty little lady must take after her mother.”

  A momentary cringe came over his face at the mention of Juliana, but he forced a smile. “Since I don’t want my daughter to see me kicking your butt, I’m gonna let that remark pass, Ty.”

  Orion, loosening the top button of his polo shirt, chuckled. “Y’all behave now. There are ladies present.”

  The men moved into seats then. As Bryan, Maxwell, and Orion took the leather sofa, Tyrone sat in the matching recliner. Yvonne placed Sasha on her stomach on the baby blanket spread out over the hardwood floor, then took a seat next to the baby.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to sit up here?” Tyrone offered his seat.

  Yvonne shook her head. “Thanks, but it’s better if I’m close by. Sasha’s getting more and more mobile, and I need to make sure she doesn’t get into any mischief.”

  “If she’s anything like her father, good luck with that,” Bryan cracked as he gave Maxwell a playful punch on the shoulder.

  Maxwell groaned. His boys could be a real pain in the ass with their teasing, but at least he knew he could count on them to always keep him humble.

  The room fell silent for a few moments, except for Sasha’s babbling. As Maxwell watched his daughter squirming around on the floor, doggedly determined to crawl away, he wondered what other adventures she’d have in store for him. Over the months and years to come, he knew she’d be learning and growing every day, and he’d be learning right along with her and hopefully growing into everything she needed in a father.

  Orion broke the silence then, his voice breaking through Maxwell’s rather serious thoughts. “Man, Max. Out of all of us, I never would have thought you’d be the first to become a father.”

  “Me, either,” Tyrone remarked. “I always thought you’d be the last holdout. The lifelong bachelor who’d never settle down.”

  Maxwell, aware of the female ears in the room, felt a twinge. For the sake of honesty, though, he had to agree with his buddi
es. He’d pictured his future self in much the same way as Tyrone had; he’d expected to go well into his fifties or sixties as a single man, with no commitments. “I was just as surprised by all this as you all are. But having Sasha is definitely a change for the better, right?”

  “Of course.” Tyrone smiled. “And even though we’re always busting your chops, we know you love Sasha. You’re a good dad, Max.”

  He felt the smile spread over his face. “I appreciate that.”

  Bryan nodded. “Children are a blessing, man. I hope to have one with Alexis when the time is right.”

  It hadn’t been that long ago that Bryan’s remark would have set Maxwell off. When his frat brother had started dating his sister, Maxwell had made his disapproval known right away. After seeing Bryan and Lex together and realizing that his friend truly loved his baby sister, Maxwell had apologized and given the pair his blessing. “Good luck getting Lex to think about a baby, man. She’s always hiding out with her sketch pad.”

  “That’s not so much of a problem since she became my wife,” Bryan quipped. “I keep her plenty busy if you know what I mean.”

  Maxwell rolled his eyes. “Spare me.”

  As if sensing his discomfort with the direction of the conversation, Yvonne asked, “So what do you gentlemen do for a living? I’d love to know a little more about Sasha’s uncles.”

  Tyrone answered first. “I’m an attorney, and I deal mainly in family law and civil litigation.”

  “I’m an artists and repertoire executive for a hip-hop label out of Wilmington,” Orion said. “It’s called Fresh—”

  Yvonne’s eyes enlarged, and she cut him off midphrase. “Fresh2Deff Records?”

  Orion nodded. “I’m guessing you’re familiar with us.”

  She squealed. “Yes, I am. Two of my favorite artists are on that label. Rosie LaRock and Young-n-Wild.”

  Orion chuckled. “Young-n-Wild is my act. Those boys are a little out of control, but they’ve got a lot of talent.”

  “I love their album. Hip-hop nowadays is kind of garbage, but those kids hearken back to the old-school groups like Leaders of the New School and Pete Rock and CL Smooth.”

  “That’s uncanny. Those are almost the exact words their agent used to pitch them to us before we signed them.” Orion looked impressed, his brow lifting. “Wow. You’ve got a hell of an ear for hip-hop. When Max starts to get on your nerves, we’d love to have you at Fresh2Deff.”

  Maxwell cut him a look. “Stop trying to poach my nanny, O.”

  Bryan interjected, “Let me tell you what I do before Orion engages you in an entire conversation about the history of rap or asks for your résumé. I’m a textile marketing executive at Regal Textiles.”

  Yvonne nodded. “I see.”

  “And since I married his baby sister, Alexis, a few months ago, Maxwell and I are legit family.” Bryan winked. “So now he can’t shake me, no matter what.”

  With a laugh, Yvonne turned his way. “Maxwell, I can see why you’re so close to these guys. They’re hilarious.”

  “Please, don’t encourage them.” Maxwell chuckled. “One of my brothers, Xavier, isn’t here. In addition to owning an accounting firm, he’s a Raleigh city councilman and a youth mentor. He’s out of town with some of his mentees for a couple of days.”

  “Sounds like a real stand-up guy.” Yvonne smiled as Sasha wriggled into her lap.

  “He is,” Orion agreed. “He’s also a persuasive one. He’s been able to get every one of us to participate in at least one of his mentoring projects.”

  Bouncing the baby on her lap, Yvonne’s smile broadened. “Well, now that I’ve met you all and heard such good things about Xavier, I feel very good about Sasha’s future. How can she go wrong with four loving uncles and a doting father to look out for her?”

  Maxwell felt his heart thudding in his chest as Yvonne’s words touched him. The weight of responsibility for Sasha, both now and through all the coming stages of her life, seemed to hit him all at once. He wanted to give her everything she needed, and she could probably convince him to give her everything she wanted. He’d been at this parenting gig for less than a year, and he often wondered, would fatherhood always feel like this? The feeling in his chest, like a warm glow and growing pressure to be his best? Would his love for his daughter ever reach its peak, or would it continue to grow with every passing day?

  The past few days at the office, he’d been working hard to draw up a proposal for the civic center project. But no matter how hard he tried, he’d found his focus was scattered at best and at times nonexistent. His passion for his work remained intact, as did his desire to secure the civic center project. But his mind always seemed to be on the baby. Did she need him? Was she doing something important, meeting some milestone that he should be there to witness?

  “Can I hold my little niece?” Bryan’s question drew Maxwell out of his thoughts. “Wanna come sit with Uncle B?”

  Maxwell nodded. “Sure.”

  Yvonne started to get up, but Bryan stood and walked over to her spot on the floor. “Don’t trouble yourself, Yvonne. Just pass her to me.” He bent at the waist, and as Yvonne lifted the baby up, Bryan scooped her into his arms.

  Bryan returned to his seat with Sasha in his lap. She seemed fine with her uncle, but when her other uncles started to gather around, she whined. The whine lengthened into a cry, and before anyone could react, the baby had descended into a full-on wail.

  All the men in the room looked to Yvonne, whose lips were pursed in an obvious attempt to hold back laughter.

  Tyrone called out over Sasha’s wailing, “What are we supposed to do?”

  Yvonne released a peal of pent-up laughter. When she recovered, she said, “First, stop crowding her. That’s what set her off.”

  The guys backed away from the baby, all except Bryan, who still held her. Almost immediately, her wails dropped in volume, though the fat tears still coursed down her chubby cheeks.

  Maxwell took a tissue from his pocket and dabbed her face. Seeing her cry felt like physical pain for him, and he wondered if it would always be that way.

  “Now. If you want to hold her, just do it one at a time. Pass her from person to person and speak quietly so you won’t scare her.” Yvonne walked over to run her palm over Sasha’s curls, and the move seemed to soothe her even more. “Remember, Sasha has had a pretty crazy week. She’s still adjusting to things as they are.”

  The men followed Yvonne’s instructions, speaking in quiet voices and keeping things calm as they each had a turn holding the baby. Maxwell observed them, touched by the gentle way they handled his daughter. She seemed to like them all or at least tolerate them, because there were no more tears…until Orion sat her in Maxwell’s lap.

  “Aw, don’t you want to sit with Daddy?” Orion stepped back.

  Maxwell pulled his daughter into his embrace, close to his heart. Her little body seemed to relax, but she kept crying. It wasn’t the wail she’d made earlier, but a kind of small whimpering that made him wonder what he was doing wrong. Guilt shot through him as he realized that she spent most of her time with Yvonne while he worked.

  Yvonne looked nonplussed. “It’s actually pretty close to her bedtime. That’s probably why she’s fussy.”

  The baby took a few deep breaths, then yawned, her little lips stretching wide.

  “You’re right. She looks sleepy.” Maxwell looked down into his daughter’s eyes, saw the way her lids drooped. Each time they closed, she forced them open again, her big brown eyes settling on his face. “She’s fighting it hard, though.” He felt somewhat relieved, because a moment ago, he’d been convinced he upset her. I was overthinking it. She’s just tired.

  “Okay, guys. It was nice to meet you, but I think it’s time for our little princess to get some rest.”

  Taking a cue from the nanny, the men stood from th
eir seats. After exchanging quick, quiet goodbyes with their host, they girded themselves in winter gear and headed out into the chilly night air.

  Once they were gone, Maxwell looked down at Sasha again. She’d fallen asleep in his arms, and she was the picture of sweetness and innocence. The dark fringes of her lashes rested on her chubby cheeks, and her little tummy rose and fell in time with the deep breaths she took. He realized he could sit with her like this all night, holding her and watching her sleep. The intensity of his feelings stole his breath, and he looked away, his eyes scanning the room for Yvonne.

  She was sitting in the recliner, watching him. “What is it, Maxwell?”

  “Can you take her upstairs, please? I’ve got a few things I need to take care of before I turn in.”

  A look passed over Yvonne’s face, but only for a moment. “No problem.” She came over and gently lifted the baby’s sleeping form into her arms.

  Maxwell remained on the sofa, watching Yvonne as she carried Sasha away.

  In the doorway, Yvonne turned to him. Fixing him with an intense stare, she said, “It’s okay to love her, Maxwell. And it’s impossible to love her too much.” That said, she left the room.

  Sitting alone in the silence, Maxwell wondered how Yvonne had managed to read his mind.

  * * *

  When Yvonne returned downstairs from putting the baby to bed, she found Maxwell still sitting in the same spot on the couch. His gaze was directed straight ahead, and she couldn’t tell if he was staring out the front window or off into space. Either way, she could tell something was on his mind.

  She’d intended to grab her purse, slip into her coat, and say her goodbyes. But now, as she caught the expression on his face, she hesitated. She was tired and ready to get some rest. In spite of her eagerness to seek her bed, leaving him sitting alone, looking so stricken, just wasn’t an option. Her leisurely weekend would have to be put off for a few minutes more. Walking over to the sofa, she sat down next to him. “Maxwell, are you okay?”

  He blinked, turned to look at her. “Sorry about that. Yeah, I’m fine.”