Never Too Old for Love

by Rosie Harris

  That was what Bill was going to miss.

  She would miss Bill’s car too, she thought with a sigh. It had been wonderful to be able to go from front door to the shops and then back again, purchasing a weekly supply with such ease. From now on, it would mean visiting the shop two or three times a week and making sure that she didn’t buy too much or it would be difficult to carry.

  Of course, she could order a grocery shop by phone. Megan had suggested she should do this a long time ago and had looked at her with raised eyebrows, when Mary had said that you then had to accept whatever they decided to send you. When it came to fruit, vegetables and meat she liked to see what she was getting.

  She’d have to get one of these shopping bags on wheels, she decided, or else a trolley. That way she could carry a lot more, but still nowhere near as much as she had done previously when Bill took her.

  She waited patiently until Bill had finished his tea and began to look a little less grey and slightly calmer.

  ‘Another one?’

  He nodded and held out his cup.

  ‘So what happened?’ she asked as she took his cup from him and refilled it.

  Bill shook his head from side to side. ‘I took the corner too fast, I suppose. There was a car parked just on the bend and I went into it. That car went forward and shunted into the next one parked there and that one into a third.’

  ‘Were the others badly damaged?’ Mary asked.

  ‘The first one I went into was pretty badly crushed and the other two not quite so bad.’

  ‘Big bill for the insurance people,’ Mary said dryly.

  ‘That’s what you insure your car for; in case of accidental damage,’ Bill said shortly.

  ‘You think your insurance company will cover the damage on your car?’

  ‘No, as I said, it’s a write-off,’ Bill told her gloomily. ‘Not that it matters all that much because as I’ve already said, I won’t be able to drive in the future. The police will make sure of that.’

  ‘You’re lucky that they didn’t charge you with dangerous driving.’

  ‘I think they probably will. I’ve got to appear in court and then I’ll probably be fined,’ he said gloomily.

  ‘Well that’s better than them giving you a prison sentence,’ Mary said consolingly.

  Bill nodded and ran a hand over his chin. ‘I suppose too that I’m lucky there was no one in any of the cars so there was no one injured.’

  ‘Yes, you’re very fortunate,’ she agreed. ‘You’re also lucky that no one was crossing the road at the time.’

  ‘Or on the pavement because the first car I crashed into ended up right across the pavement.’

  Mary shook her head in despair. Bill was lucky that he hadn’t been injured in any way although she suspected that he was badly shaken.

  Bill finished his tea and stood up. ‘I’d better be getting home,’ he said resignedly.

  ‘Wouldn’t you sooner stay and have a meal here before you go home?’

  ‘No,’ Bill shook his head. ‘Thanks all the same but I’m not very good company at the moment. The sooner I get going and work out what I am going to do from now on, the better.’

  ‘Not having a car isn’t the end of the world, you know,’ Mary said sharply. ‘You can still walk, just be thankful for that.’

  He nodded. ‘It’s the end of our weekly trips to Maidenhead,’ Bill said huffily. ‘I won’t be able to take you shopping each week either, you know.’

  ‘I know, but we can always take a taxi when we want to do those things.’

  ‘If you say so,’ Bill muttered as he headed for the door. ‘I’ll phone you in a day or two. I’ll be adjusted to being without my car by then.’

  Mary smiled. She doubted it. If she knew anything about it he would take months to get used to not having a car sitting outside, ready to go anywhere he wanted to, whenever he decided to do so.

  TWENTY

  Bill Thompson felt utterly disgruntled and depressed. In fact, he had never been so fed up in his life. After his wife had died he had been irritated by all the things he had to do which he’d never even thought about before, but he had turned to and dealt with them. It was simply a matter of applying common sense and you could overcome most obstacles he thought, but now with poor eyesight and no car, life had reached a real low. It wasn’t the money for taxis that he grudged having to pay out, it was the realisation that not having a car curbed his freedom.

  He didn’t drive very far these days but he loved his car. It was an old friend and it was always outside the door waiting to take him wherever he wanted to go, ready at any hour of the day or night he might want to use it. Taking Mary to the cinema in Maidenhead once a week and taking her shopping had become highlights of his week, but now all that would be finished. He knew she had said they could use a taxi but it wasn’t the same somehow. He felt uncomfortable about it. He had been brought up to only use a taxi in an emergency, not for shopping trips or gadding about.

  Every time he looked out of his sitting room window there was a great empty space where his car had always stood. Every time he looked it seemed to reproach him for being such a silly old fool. He’d been proud of the fact that he’d never had a mark on his license the whole time he had been driving.

  He went through into his kitchen and switched on the kettle and made himself a cup of tea. As he sat drinking it he brooded about what else the police might do. They’d already banned him from ever driving again. They wouldn’t simply leave it there though. He was bound to end up in court and then the magistrate would probably give him a hefty fine.

  Even that would be better than a term in prison though, no matter how short that might be. He didn’t think that he would be able to endure the guilt he would feel if that happened.

  ‘Pull yourself together, it’s not the end of the world whatever the outcome is,’ he told himself out loud as he rinsed out his cup.

  He was still alive, he hadn’t been hurt, except for it being a shock to the system and no one else had been involved. Cars were only lumps of metal and, although he was very sorry for the owners whose cars had been damaged, at least they hadn’t been in them.

  Over the next few days, as he came to terms with the situation, he realised that although he hadn’t been hurt physically his confidence was extremely low and his ability to do things was more limited. A couple of times he was aware that when he reached out for something his hand trembled and whenever he decided to do anything, he had second thoughts before he did it. Or even abandoned what he had planned to do and decide to leave it for another day.

  The other thing that troubled him was that he didn’t want to go out or meet people in case they knew what a silly old fool he had been. He resolved not to let Mary know how he was feeling. It was his problem not hers. He was the one who must overcome it and doing it on his own would be better for him.

  Three days later, however, when she called round to see how he was and find out if he had heard from the police or not, she found him so shaky and uncertain about what he was doing that she immediately took him to task. Within minutes he was telling her about all the uncertainty he was feeling.

  ‘Of course you feel like that, your confidence has been dented,’ she told him. ‘Give it a week or two and you’ll be back to normal.’

  Bill stared at her, his eyes full of misery, and then shook his head.

  ‘Do you remember how I was afraid to go outside the front door on those wretched crutches? Yet within a week I was managing to do so, even though I felt foolish and thought everybody was staring at me. I didn’t really enjoy walking with them but after a couple of weeks my confidence was back and it no longer worried me. You’ll be the same.’

  ‘There’s a bit of a difference between walking after a broken leg and what has happened to me,’ Bill muttered. ‘You didn’t have a feeling of guilt hanging over you all the time, or sit there listening for a rap on the door and a policeman on the doorstep to take you into custody for careless driving.
’

  ‘You idiot,’ Mary laughed. ‘If they were going to do that they would have done so there and then! No, they thought you were careless but they know you can’t repeat your crime because you have no car and anyway you have been banned from driving.’

  Bill stared at her in silence for a long minute. Then, as if reading from the expression on her face that she meant what she was saying, he sighed and nodded his head.

  ‘Perhaps you are right,’ he admitted. ‘I’ll try and pull myself together.’

  Although he had every intention of doing so, when he saw the report of his accident in the local newspaper that weekend he was mortified.

  ‘Surely you expected that to happen,’ Mary pointed out when he rang her and sounded very upset.

  ‘They’ve even printed my name, address and how old I am,’ Bill told her in high dudgeon. ‘How on earth did they find all that out?’

  ‘That’s what reporters are paid to do,’ Mary pointed out. ‘Don’t worry about it, by next week that newspaper will be in the recycling box and people won’t remember half of the things they read in it, because they have more up to date news items and it will all be forgotten.’

  Even as she said it, Mary waited for a call from either Richard or Megan because she was quite sure they would recognise Bill’s name and address. When the call did come it was from Megan, who came straight to the point.

  ‘I told you right from the start not to get involved with that old man,’ she ranted. ‘Do you realise that you could have been in his car and you could have been seriously hurt or even killed!’

  ‘Yes, but I wasn’t,’ Mary said as calmly as she could.

  ‘That’s not the point, you’ve caused us a great deal of worry,’ Megan stated.

  ‘I can imagine Richard might have been a little concerned,’ Mary agreed quietly, ‘I hardly think you would be too upset though, Megan.’

  ‘Of course I would be upset if you were injured, you might end up unable to look after yourself …’

  ‘And then I would have had to go into a nursing home,’ Mary finished for her.

  ‘Quite! What a waste of money that would have been!’

  ‘Funerals are quite expensive too these days,’ Mary commented.

  ‘You are acting in a very strange way,’ Megan told her. ‘I think it might be best if Richard came round and discussed all this with you.’

  Before Mary could answer Megan hung up.

  Richard was obviously dispatched immediately, within the hour he was on her doorstep.

  ‘Come on in, the kettle is boiling. Tea or coffee?’

  ‘I haven’t come on a social visit,’ Richard told her. ‘I needed to find out if you were all right. Megan said you were talking nonsense and she was worried about you.’

  ‘I was talking nonsense?’ Mary questioned with a desultory laugh. ‘I think it was Megan who was doing that. Why has she such a dislike of Bill Thompson? She’s only met him once and she was barely civil to him then.’

  ‘Yes, well don’t worry about that. I’m more concerned about how you are feeling. I’m sure you are very upset.’

  ‘I’m sorry for Bill that it has happened. He’s very upset and feeling very guilty about the whole matter. The only good thing is that there was no one in any of the other cars so no one was injured.’

  ‘He wasn’t hurt?’

  ‘His self-confidence is dented,’ Mary said with a wry smile.

  ‘He hasn’t heard any more from the police?’

  ‘No, but I expect he will. If he is lucky, it will only be a matter of a heavy fine.’

  ‘Yes,’ Richard agreed solemnly, ‘at his age I hardly think they will send him to prison seeing that no one was involved. He shouldn’t have been driving, of course, not with AMD in both eyes.’

  ‘We both know that, but if you remember your father was very reluctant to stop driving when he was diagnosed. Bill had only been told that his other eye was affected,’ she added by way of explanation.

  ‘That’s really no excuse now, though,’ Richard stated.

  ‘Well, we all take chances. If someone hadn’t parked so close on the corner it might never have happened,’ Mary said tetchily.

  ‘I was instructed to tell you that you are to stop seeing him,’ Richard grinned.

  ‘Knowing you, I hardly think you will take any notice.’

  ‘No, I most certainly won’t. I don’t believe in abandoning my friends when they are in trouble. Look at the way he has helped me, do you think I’m going to desert him now?’

  ‘In his hour of need?’ Richard teased.

  ‘He certainly needs a friend to boost his ego and help him to regain his independence,’ Mary said in a serious voice. ‘It’s amazing how much he has taken this accident to heart.’

  ‘Well, remember it has to be taxis from now on,’ Richard stated.

  ‘Of course. How else would we get to Maidenhead to the cinema or go shopping? His car is a complete write-off.’

  Richard took her into his arms and hugged her. ‘Bill Thompson is a lucky fellow to have such a stalwart friend,’ he told her as he planted a kiss on her brow. ‘You always come up trumps don’t you, Mum.’

  ‘I’m sorry if my decision is going to cause hard feelings with Megan but perhaps I should remind her that Bill has done far more for me than she has ever done.’

  ‘I’m sure he has,’ Richard agreed, ‘but it would be easier for me if you don’t say that to her.’

  ‘All right, but don’t you try to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do,’ Mary told him reprovingly.

  ‘I wouldn’t dare,’ Richard said, his face creasing into a broad smile.

  ‘Good! Now why didn’t you bring little George round with you, does this mean I won’t be seeing him this week?’

  ‘Megan didn’t think I should bring him because she didn’t want him to be upset if we had a disagreement.’

  Mary looked at Richard with raised eyebrows. ‘Disagreement? Whatever is that? As far as I’m concerned, you are still a small boy and although I might listen to what you have to say I am not likely to take any notice. Well, not unless I think it will be to my advantage to do so,’ she added.

  There was a twinkle in her eye as she spoke and Richard merely raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders. ‘I know, I know … So shall we leave it there?’

  ‘It depends. I still want a visit from George.’

  ‘I’ll bring him round tomorrow. Will that do?’

  ‘Will Megan approve of you doing that?’ Mary asked.

  ‘Megan won’t even know because she’s off to New York for four days in the morning,’ Richard said dryly. ‘I’ll come round straight after school.’

  ‘Good! I’ll be expecting you so don’t let me down.’

  TWENTY-ONE

  Mary Wilson was extremely concerned about Bill Thompson. He was hollow-eyed and haggard and she wished that there were someone who could advise her. He had aged ten years overnight, not only in looks but also in his attitude to life. Since he’d lost his car and been told he would never be allowed to drive again, he had become increasingly withdrawn and lethargic.

  Not only that, but he had let himself go as if he no longer cared how he looked. His hollow cheeks enhanced the lines around his eyes. He would go for days without having a shave and sometimes he looked so unkempt and dishevelled that Mary wondered if he bothered to have a wash. He certainly wore the same shirt day in day out. The state of his kitchen and the rest of the house reflected his loss of interest. Each time she called to see him, Mary tidied around but she was in no fit state to give it the thorough clean that it needed.

  When she suggested that perhaps he ought to get someone in for an hour or so once a week to do the cleaning he merely scowled and said he didn’t want strangers messing around the place. As far as he was concerned everything was as he wanted it to be. He had lost interest in most things, even going to the cinema in Maidenhead with her and he refused point blank to go shopping.

  Hoping i
t was all talk and that when the time came he would comply, Mary made no comment but on her next shopping trip asked the taxi driver to stop at Coburn Road. When the taxi drew up outside Bill’s house, the curtains were still drawn although it was mid-morning. Repeated knocking on the door and ringing the bell brought no response at all. They failed to rouse him, so in the end she had to go on her own.

  When she took him to task about it Bill merely shrugged. ‘I don’t want to go out,’ he muttered. ‘Those days are over, the sooner I get to the end the better. I don’t want to see people either. I’ve no time for ceaseless chatter about nothing. I just want to be left alone so that I can sit in my armchair and be quiet.’

  ‘You mean doze, don’t you,’ Mary said with a laugh.

  ‘No, I might be sitting there with my eyes closed, resting them, but it doesn’t mean that I’m asleep. What is there to look at anyway? Everywhere is grey and drab and most of the time there’s a fog or else it’s raining. I’ve given up living by the clock. Night and day are much the same. Sometimes I sleep, sometimes I make a pot of tea or muddle around the place. I don’t bother looking at the clock to see what time it is. When I’m tired I sleep.

  ‘I’ve tried going to bed at eleven in the evening and I lie there awake for hours. In the end, I get up and potter around then I have a cup of tea and after that I sleep like a log.’

  ‘Look at the state of your home,’ Mary persisted. ‘You say you potter around doing things but I don’t know what they are, except make the place untidy. There was a time when you would have been ashamed to see it in the state it’s in now. Everywhere and everything is grey with dust and you drop things where you leave them and your laundry basket it overflowing.’

  ‘So what about it?’ Bill muttered. ‘You’re the only one who comes in and sees it and if you go on nagging I won’t open the door to you.’

  ‘So what will you do for bread, milk and ready meals if I don’t go and get them for you?’

  ‘Manage without. I’ve no interest in food and if I want to have a drink then there’s water in the tap.’