A_Dom_Is_Forever

by Lexi Blake

  She snorted a little. “Lee, if I stayed home every time something was wrong with my leg, I would never leave the bed.”

  And that was a problem why? “I can bring you food in bed. We can just stay there.”

  A haunted look crossed her face as though she was remembering terrible things. “I did that for far too many years.”

  She needed to be independent in a way others didn’t. Of course, her version of independence was just being able to walk on her own. Over the last few days, he’d gotten to really know her. He’d done dumb tourist crap that should have him pulling his hair out, but he’d looked at the world through her eyes and had to admit that he’d had fun.

  She’d stood on the beach at Dover, marveling at the cliffs in the distance. They’d gotten something to eat, and she’d talked about how hard it had been in the hospital. He wanted to keep her safe, and she needed a little freedom.

  He was walking a very thin line. He wanted to lock the door and never let her out, and it would crush her right when she was starting to find herself.

  He stepped back. It wasn’t his place to lock her up. Well, not for more than a couple of hours and only for play, but he couldn’t do it on a permanent basis. “Lunch it is then, but promise me you’re going to do those exercises we talked about.”

  She groaned. “You are a hard taskmaster.”

  He’d read up about her leg. She needed daily conditioning to stay strong. He needed her to be strong. “Yes, I am. I’m serious. Daily workouts.”

  She grinned up at him. Her smile kicked him in the gut every time. “As long as you promise to take off your shirt and work out with me.”

  “You’re going to get spanked for that saucy mouth.” He lightly smacked her ass, cupping it afterward. “Go get dressed. I’ll take care of everything for tonight. You just have to stay out of trouble today.”

  Tomorrow was another issue all together. And tonight could prove troublesome. He’d hidden for four days. He’d sank himself into her and forgotten for a brief moment that he was lying to her and manipulating her. And he’d avoided all those nasty questions about the past and about Ian.

  He sat down and watched as she started getting dressed. He acknowledged the truth. He’d started to think about becoming Lee Donnelly. He could leave McKay-Taggart and just become the man she thought he was. His cover would hold. He actually was quite good with his hands. He could legitimately work as a contractor. He could be the man Avery was falling in love with.

  She hadn’t said it, but it was there in her eyes. He wasn’t sure he could say the words back, but fuck, he wanted to hear them. He was a greedy bastard when it came to her. He wanted everything.

  If she found out he wasn’t who he said he was, what would she say? Would she run from him?

  Maybe the best way to handle it was to never let her know. Ian would let him go. He was fairly sure of it. If Ian wouldn’t then Liam would get enough shit on him that he would.

  What the hell was happening to him that he was thinking about leaving behind everything he knew?

  Avery slid into her little kitten heels. She rarely wore anything past a one- or two-inch heel. “Hi ho, it’s off to work I go.”

  “Give me a minute and I’ll walk with you.” He reached for his jeans.

  “Lee, you don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to.” He needed to. He needed to stay close. She’d started out as the op, but he was beginning to wonder if she wasn’t the only thing worth protecting now.

  He dressed quickly and stuck close as they headed out toward Liverpool station. When he dropped her off, he thought seriously about just waiting outside her building for noon to roll around, but his watcher was still close. With a weary heart, he made his way back to Avery’s. It was the only place where he wouldn’t have eyes on him.

  It was time to start figuring out just how screwed he was.

  * * * *

  Liam nodded to the doorman as he walked through. Avery had placed him on the approved list, and he now had a key card into the building. Once he was back in their flat, he could get on his computer and start trying to find anything he could that would prove or disprove Simon Weston’s story.

  The elevator doors closed. Like most lifts in London, it was a tight fit. When he was with Avery, she had to stand close. He’d thought seriously about stopping the lift in between floors and having his way with her. He would shove her skirt up and free his cock and fuck her hard and fast. By the time he let the lift free, she would be clinging to him. Pleasure wiped her out. He loved how limp and sated she looked after he’d wrung an orgasm out of her.

  The doors opened on the proper floor, but before he could step out, a fist came flying toward his face. He’d been distracted, thinking of Avery, and he barely had time to sidestep the fucker. He ducked, his instincts taking over. He rushed the guy, leaning over and going straight for his gut. Adrenaline started to pump through his system, thrumming through his veins as potent as arousal. Avery wasn’t around so he could use a good fight. When he couldn’t spend himself on her, he would take a little blood.

  He crashed into the opposite wall, his opponent’s back slamming into it.

  Liam grew up hard. He’d starved half his life on the Dublin streets, and he didn’t fucking fight fair. He had the advantage now. He heard his opponent drag air into his lungs. He’d gotten it knocked out of him by the slam against the wall. Liam brought his knee back, perfectly ready to deball the motherfucker.

  “Please don’t,” a familiar voice said. Adam. Liam stepped back. Adam was standing right there in the hallway, leaning against the wall. And Jake. Jake had been just about to lose his balls. “Serena would be so upset if she lost half her chances at getting pregnant. Not that I can’t handle the job. I can, but she would be all over him. She’s a sucker for a sad story.”

  Liam growled a little, a predator denied a nice fat meal. “What the fuck was that about?”

  Jake’s eyes came up. “Adam spoke too soon. I had you right where I wanted you.”

  Right. “You wanted me to shove your balls up into your intestines?”

  “Like you could. I was just about to kick out and shove you back, then I was going to get my hands around your throat and drag you into our apartment and then I was going to beat your ass until you come to your senses,” Jake vowed.

  “You wouldn’t have been able to lift your arms after what I was going to do to you.” Jake was high if he thought he had the upper hand in that little fight.

  “Or we could all just stop hitting each other and talk this out,” Adam suggested.

  “Pussy,” Jake shot back. He flexed his hand and stretched.

  “I’m not the masochist here.” Adam turned to him. “Will you please talk to us? You’ve been a fucking asshole for four days.”

  He’d avoided them at every turn. And they were his friends, or at least they seemed to be. Damn it. Ever since Simon Weston had put that file in front of him, he’d been at odds. “I’ve been getting in good with Avery.”

  “I have no idea what the fuck you’ve been doing,” Jake shot back. “I think you might have been sitting on your ass or maybe you got a better deal and decided to start something with the competition.”

  Anger flared. Jake was just asking for a thorough beating . “You want to explain what you mean by that?”

  “What about asking politely do you not understand, asshole?” Adam said to his partner. He turned back to Liam. “We agreed we would just talk to you then the Neanderthal here had to go primeval on your ass. Look, Ian told us what happened. Can we please talk?”

  He got the feeling if he didn’t they would press the issue. “Fine. But you only have until eleven thirty. I have to meet Avery.” He followed Adam inside, Jake hard on his heels. “So I take it Ian told you two to corner me?”

  Adam turned, his eyes confused. “No. I’m worried about you.”

  He really looked like he didn’t have a clue. “Ian didn’t mention that MI6 is on to us?”

&
nbsp; Jake shut the door behind him. “Yes, he and Damon explained what was happening, which you would know if you had bothered to answer your texts and come to the meeting he called.”

  Liam had ignored it. He’d been at Canterbury Cathedral with Avery. He’d taken a damn bus tour and held her hand when he knew he should be working. “What excuse did Damon give?”

  Adam frowned. “Excuse? He needs an excuse to be MI6?”

  “He needs an excuse to have not told us.”

  “Ian knew. Look, Li, the only reason we’re still here and haven’t gotten our asses shipped back to the States is that Ian is working with MI6. He still has connections, and he’s using them to keep us here. We didn’t have any idea that MI6 was looking into UOF and Molina. We’re only still here for two reasons: Ian’s connections and the fact that you’ve managed to do what Weston couldn’t.”

  “Get into Avery’s bed. Tell me something. Why doesn’t MI5 take over? They could just pull the records they want.” And then Avery would be out of this for good, and she wouldn’t have to find out about his involvement.

  “You know the answer to that,” Jake said, scrubbing a hand through his hair as he sat on the sofa. “God, Li, what the fuck is happening to you? Where is your head?”

  “The arms sales are happening on foreign soil. They sent Weston in because his family has done a bunch of charity work in Africa and Asia.” Adam’s eyes narrowed. He could be brutally intelligent when he wanted to be. “What exactly did you and Weston talk about if you didn’t talk about the op? Look, man, something’s going on here. You get pulled in by that MI6 guy and suddenly you’re acting like you don’t know a one of us. What did he say?”

  He shook his head. “Weston was kept in the dark, too. He didn’t know we had a deal with Knight on the table.”

  “Then why didn’t he have you arrested?” Jake asked. “Adam’s right. Weston was playing an angle. He was trying to turn you against us. What angle did he use?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Liam shot back. Now that he was forced to face it, he realized he wasn’t going to open his mouth until he’d talked to Ian. “I already talked to Eve. I’m taking Avery in tonight so this is all completely unnecessary, and if things go right tomorrow, we might be home in a day or two. Tell me something. Are we handing Nelson over to the Brits or has Ian got that worked out with the CIA, too?”

  “Nelson has been disavowed. He’s an embarrassment to the Agency and a potential threat to everyone who works for Langley. What do you think we’re going to do?” Jake stared at him, his jaw a harsh line.

  So tomorrow was assassination day. “And the MI6 mission?”

  Adam shrugged. “Not our problem once we take out Nelson. We had a big sit-down last night with Damon. They believe Nelson is likely attempting to make a buy. At first they thought Molina was just taking kickbacks to allow the weapons shipments safe passage, but those meetings with Molina make me think he’s the middle man. He’s a dealer.”

  “How does a borderline agoraphobic shut-in go from running a charity to arms dealing? Something’s wrong here.” It was a mystery, and he didn’t like it. It didn’t sit well with him. And if they took Nelson out, where did that leave Avery?

  “No idea, but again that’s something for MI6 to deal with. We’re not going to take Nelson out in front of Molina. We’ve bugged the restaurant they’re meeting at. The Brits agreed to put an agent of theirs undercover as a waitress. We’re going to follow Nelson and take him out when it’s safe. Molina’s operation will continue, and MI6 can figure out just where the arms are coming from and we get to go home and get back to normal.” Jake turned, his eyes going a little cold. “Do you have an exit plan for that girl?”

  “She’s not ‘that girl.’ Her name is Avery,” Liam all but snarled back.

  Jake cursed and reached for his wallet. “Motherfucker. I’ve only got eighty. I’m going to owe you twenty.”

  Adam smiled, all the tension leaving his face. “Told you.”

  Liam got the serious feeling he was the butt of the joke. “What?”

  Jake suddenly looked more like Jake and less like a disapproving big brother. “I’ve been a little worried about Avery. She’s a sweet girl. I don’t believe for a second she’s involved in this.”

  “She isn’t. She has no idea what’s going on.” Though that fucker Weston had planted the seeds. It was up to him to make sure they didn’t come to fruition. And if everything was likely going down tomorrow, he had to find a way to stay. He had to convince MI6 to let him stay on.

  “And she’s in love with you,” Adam said, his voice softening and taking on a nauseatingly sympathetic quality.

  Liam backed away. “I am not doing this with you guys. Do you understand me? I am not going to sit in some fucking feeling circle and talk about love and babies. You two can screw yourselves.”

  “But you have thought about love and babies with her,” Jake mused.

  “No, I haven’t.” He hadn’t. It had been a fleeting thought. It didn’t mean anything. “She’s a nice girl, and I don’t want her hurt, that’s all.”

  “So you’re going to leave her?” Jake asked. “I want my money back.”

  “I didn’t say that.” Why couldn’t he leave it be? He left everything be. He hadn’t said a word about what Weston had showed him. Apart from sessions with Eve, he didn’t talk about his past or his brother. So why was he actually tempted to talk about this with Adam and Jake? He needed Sean. Sean would just pop open a beer and sit beside him. After a while, he’d slap Liam on the back and that would be their very manly discussion about feelings. Not a word said. Not a thing worked out because a real man didn’t ever really work that shit out. He just did what his wife told him to do.

  Holy fucking shit. He’d just thought about marrying Avery.

  “Get him a beer,” Jake said. “Li, sit down. I’m going to turn on the TV, and we’ll find some soccer.”

  He slumped down into the sofa, the reality washing over him. He didn’t want to leave her and not just because he was worried she would get hurt. He liked her. He liked who he was when he was with her.

  She’d been hurt. She’d lost everything. She’d lost her home and her parents and her money. She’d pulled herself up and gotten married and had a baby when she was still a baby herself. She’d lost them, too, along with the ability to walk. She’d fought. She’d taught herself to walk again, and she put herself right back out in the world because that girl didn’t know how to quit.

  He’d quit a long time ago. He could see that now. He’d worked and walked around, but he hadn’t really lived since that day in the wharf-side flat. The man he’d been, alive and vibrant and happy, had died and a completely different human being had been dragged out of the water. Shut down, cold, distant. He’d chased pussy that didn’t matter. He’d fucked women who couldn’t touch him for precisely the reason that he knew damn well they couldn’t move him.

  Something cold was pressed in his hand, and he took a long swig. The low hum of an announcer’s voice filled the room. Jake sat down beside him, not saying a word, and Adam passed him a beer before sinking into the chair and staring at the TV.

  Yep. This was what he needed. He trusted Adam and Jake. There was something deep inside that trusted them because in so many ways, they had taken the place of his brother. They annoyed the fuck out of him. He wanted to punch them half the time. And he was happy they were here.

  “It’s football,” he heard himself say.

  Jake snorted a little. “Footballs are oval shaped and way more manly than this shit.”

  “And more interesting. Does anyone ever actually score?” Adam asked.

  Fucking plebians. He laughed, his tension dissolving. He would figure out what to do with Avery. He had a little time. Damon Knight wasn’t going to kick him out of the country. They would need him, and he would protect her. “It’s called football, boys, and we don’t need all those pads and shit. This is a man’s game.”

  They started arguing, but
the tension was gone. His problems were still there, but he could handle them.

  And he would handle Ian. He would listen to him. He owed the man that much and more. He owed them all, and he wouldn’t let them down. He’d been sulking for four days. It was time to get his head back in the game and back his people up.

  It’s what family did.

  Chapter Eleven

  Avery looked up at Simon Weston. It was so much easier to be friendly with the man now that she had Lee. She didn’t feel uncomfortable with him anymore. She’d even caught herself halfway flirting. It was a little perverse that she couldn’t flirt before, but now that she had a boyfriend, she was okay with a little harmless repartee. And Simon had eased up so they were finding a very nice friendship.

  “How was the time off? I managed to get the quartet scheduled for the ball.” He sat on the edge of her desk, a mug of coffee in his hands.

  She winced a little. “I’m so sorry I pawned that off on you.”

  He smiled, a genuine beaming that lit up his face. “Hey, no problem. I’m happy you’re having a good time. That Lee guy seems all right. And it’s obvious he’s making you quite happy.” He nodded toward the door to Thomas Molina’s office. “I noticed he’s been in the office a lot lately. And he’s crabby. Aren’t you supposed to keep him calm?”

  Yep. She’d gotten an earful from a whole bunch of the staff the minute she’d walked in. Apparently Thomas had been a bear to deal with. “I will give it my best shot. Let everyone know that he won’t be in tomorrow so they can all take extra-long lunches.” She remembered the look Monica had given her. “And I’ll buy the first round after work.”

  “You’re going to come and drink with us?” Simon asked, one aristocratic brow arched.

  “Sure. I have to warn you, though, I’m a total lightweight and I’ll probably get even klutzier than usual.”

  “I think we can handle that. We would all help you, you know.”

  She leaned back wondering just how much she could ask him without sounding like a massive moron. “I don’t know. I don’t seem to fit in here.”