Castles, Kilts and Caresses

by Carmen Caine

  “Appealing and amusing. Sizzles with passion. For those looking for something out of the ordinary, don’t miss HIGHLANDER IN HER BED.”

  ~ Romance Reviews Today

  “A whimsical read that will have you panting from start to finish! Red-hot chemistry ignites from the moment Sir Alex and Mara meet. A sure-bet bestseller.”

  ~ A Romance Review

  "What a humorous and heart-pulling story! Two people who find each other across time and came to find that real love and a little magic can conquer all."

  ~ Leah Weller ‘Medieval Lady,’ Reviewer for Bookworm2bookworm

  “A yummy paranormal romp!”

  Angela Knight, New York Times Bestselling Author

  “Delightful! Compelling, fun, and imaginative, with crisp dialogue and sexy, believable characters. Memorable. HOT.”

  ~ Romantic Times Magazine

  “A superb paranormal romance.”

  ~ Midwest Book Review

  A Hero’s Warning

  “Who are you?” Cilla regarded him warily. “Where did you come from?”

  “From a place more distant than you’d believe.” He ignored her first question. “I’ve good advice for you. If you’re after a true taste of Scotland, hie yourself-”

  “Hie myself?” She blinked.

  “Take yourself,” he clarified, scowling. “Quit this place and journey south. Inverness, the Isle of Skye, Stirling and Perth, perhaps even down to Edinburgh. Or Glasgow. Aye” – he appeared to warm to the idea - “Glasgow is where you should be. Loch Lomond is there and-”

  “I saw Loch Lomond on the drive up here.” Cilla frowned back at him. “We stopped there for lunch and I’ve never seen so many tour buses. If that’s Scotland” - she made a wide sweeping gesture with her arm, taking in the rain-dampened parapet – “I’d rather be here.”

  “Be warned then.” He stepped closer, his dark gaze piercing her. “Sutherland is filled with lonely moors and dark bogs. Mountains so vast they’d eat a lass like you bones and all and no one would ever be the wiser.”

  “I like wild places.” She tossed back her hair, defiant.

  He snorted. “This is the end of the world.”

  Cilla smiled. “Exactly.”

  Dedication

  For Herman

  Herring gull, Hero, and Heartthrob. To some you might be ‘just a bird.’ But to me - and everyone who loves you – you’re a precious light in our lives. I sometimes wonder if you aren’t Gregor in disguise, somehow escaped from these pages. It wouldn’t surprise me. Here’s hoping you know how much we all care.

  Acknowledgment

  This book was originally released as a traditionally published title by Penguin NAL. Many thanks to Tarah Scott and Ceci Giltenan for their love and support on the journey to re-releasing this book. You ladies are my champions!

  As always, much appreciation to my very handsome husband, Manfred, for his unflagging support and enthusiasm. My gray tabby, Snuggles, for being such a cool writer cat. He loves to hang out on my keyboard. And my beloved Jack Russell, Em. He owns my heart still and always will. There are no words for how much I miss him.

  “There are men and there are Highlanders. Woe be to anyone fool enough not to know the difference.”

  ~ Bran of Barra, Hebridean chieftain, appreciator of women, and Highlander to the bone.

  Prologue

  In the Twilight World of the Great Beyond

  “So you are tired of women?”

  The disembodied voice boomed like a thousand angry thunderclouds. Loud and crackling, each word sent bolts of lightning sizzling through the shifting mist. Gray, swirling drifts, the fog shielded the Dark One’s inner sanctum from the rest of this curious and mysterious place.

  “I am weary of having to pleasure them.” Sir Hardwin de Studley of Seagrave, more commonly known as Hardwick, put back his shoulders against the Dark One’s wrath. “Enough is enough. Seven hundred years of nightly bliss would dampen any man’s appetite.”

  Another earsplitting clap of thunder shook the cushiony mist beneath Hardwick’s feet and a scorching bolt of lightning whizzed past his ear, its otherworldly heat almost singeing his hair.

  “There are some who would call your curse a blessing.” The Dark One’s deep voice rumbled with displeasure. “Souls who would burn an eternity for a single eye-blink of the revels you enjoy each night.”

  “Bah!” Hardwick tightened his grip on the round, studded shield he always clutched before his groin. “I would roast for two eternities for the peace of one night’s unbroken sleep.” Keeping his stare on the immense stone temple he could just make out through the thick, swirling fog, he willed the Dark One to show himself.

  Willed, as well, his problem to stop twitching in heated anticipation of the coming night’s tumble with some as-yet-undetermined bit of eager, female fluff.

  He would easily stride past an endless line of naked, writhing beauties if doing-so would grant him eternal rest and peace.

  “You have only yourself to blame, Seagrave.” Puffs of sulfurous smoke drifted out from behind the ancient, sentry-like trees guarding the Dark One’s temple. “Had you not turned the wandering bard from your door, he would not have cast his wizard-spell on you.”

  Hardwick bit back a snort. “There were highborn guests at my table that night. It was known that an assassin guising himself as a traveling lute player had been trailing them. I did what any self-respecting lord of the Scottish realm would have done. I turned away a stranger in an attempt to safeguard those within my walls.”

  A gust of icy wind revealed the Dark One’s opinion of his choice.

  Hardwick stood tall, refusing to acknowledge the frigid blast. “Would you have handled otherwise?”

  “What I would have done scarce matters. I am not the one who was damned to spend eternity pleasing women without ever again enjoying my own release.” A sound almost like derisive laughter came from within the mist-shrouded temple. “‘Tis you who were doomed to roam the earth, satisfying a different woman every night.”

  “You needn’t remind me.” Hardwick glared into the mist. “I am well aware of the peculiarities of my circumstance.”

  If he weren’t, the permanent annoyance at his groin was more than telling. Glancing down at the rigid protuberance, his mood worsened.

  The Dark One gave a superior sigh. “Perhaps if you hadn’t been one of Scotland’s most notorious wenchers, the bard would have visited you with a less strenuous curse.”

  Hardwick considered throwing down his infernal shield and whipping out his sword. “Be that as it may, I would hear if you are willing to help me? I already know you have the power to do so.”

  “I have the means to undo the mortal magick of any medieval bard, including the wizardry of the one who cursed you. The power as to whether the counterspell works, lies with you.”

  “Then tell me what I must do.”

  “It is more what you must not do. Dare not do if you wish the resolution to help you.”

  Hardwick took a step closer to the temple, his own temples beginning to throb with frustration when the swirling mists thickened, giving the impression the blasted place was receding from him.

  Halting, he tamped down his temper and held up a hand. The one he didn’t need to hold his shield in place. “I will do – or not do – whatever is necessary to rid myself of this foul condition.”

  “So be it.” The mists thinned, once again allowing glimpses of the Dark One’s hallowed temple. “You shall be relieved of your curse and also granted the everlasting sleep you crave – if you can keep yourself from becoming aroused for a year and a day.”

  Hardwick almost laughed. “Think you that will be a problem? After centuries of such an affliction as I’ve endured? By the gray mists shielding you from me, I swear there isn’t a female walking who could tempt me.”

  “Do not claim victory too soon, Seagrave.” Another rush of icy air whipped through the inner sanctum, this time accompanied by a black, shrieking win
d. Even more distressing, the tangle of exposed roots spreading out from the circle of guardian trees suddenly morphed into hissing dragons. As one, they lifted scaly, black-glittering heads, looking round with fiery, unblinking eyes. “Be warned. The price of your redemption is high and fraught with grave danger.”

  Hardwick pitched his voice as resolute as the Dark One’s. “Rid me of my problem and I will face any peril.”

  Drawing his sword, he thrust its tip into the billowing mist rippling around his ankles. “With the greatest respect,” he said, watching the root dragons stare at him with eyes like glimmering coals, “I’ll not be deterred by sorcerous means or others.”

  On his words, the scaly beasts vanished, their great, crouching bodies once again nothing more than a snarl of silent, black-gleaming roots.

  The chill air remained, but a soft rustling came from within the temple and Hardwick could almost imagine the Dark One nodding consent.

  “As you will.” His deep voice shook the trees and sent shock waves through the fog. “But know this, you who seek my benevolence. If you fail, the old condition will return at once, along with your curse to satisfy a different woman every night. This time you will no longer be able to roam the world and centuries at will, choosing your bedmates as it pleases you.”

  The Dark One paused and the icy air grew even colder. “One slip and you will find yourself in the blackest, most vile level of the world-between-the-worlds, where you’d be forever doomed to pleasure the pathetic creatures who dwell there. Females far different from the endless lovelies you’ve pleased down through the ages.”

  Hardwick narrowed his eyes on the temple, then carefully sheathed his sword. “I would ask one boon.”

  “Indeed?” The Dark One humphed. “Name it quickly – before I tire of speaking with you.”

  “I would have the right to choose where I spend the required proving period.” Hardwick stood straighter, his jaw tight with determination. “That is all.”

  A place where he could live quietly and away from all temptation.

  He left the words unspoken, his entire body taut with the waiting. “Well? Am I to have my boon?”

  “It shall be granted.” The Dark One appeared on the temple’s threshold, an imposing masculine form, only discernible as a blackness deeper than the surrounding darkness. “Choose wisely – you will not be allowed a second chance.”

  Hardwick opened his mouth to reply, but a flash of eye-blinding lightning snatched the words. A simultaneous boom of thunder ripped away the trees and the temple, leaving him alone in another, less threatening corner of this mystical realm he’d drifted in and out of for so long.

  Great swaths of shimmering gray-white mist slid past him now, and he knew from experience he need only find the appropriate opening, then will himself below.

  Far below, to wherever on the earth plane he wished.

  But first he looked beneath his shield, his heart slamming against his ribs when he saw only his plaid and wide-leathered sword belt riding low on his hips.

  His problem was gone.

  Or, better said, relaxed.

  Throwing back his head, he whooped. Then he grinned broadly and lowered his shield, removing it from in front of his groin for the first time in seven hundred years.

  “By all the gods!” He dashed a hand across his cheek and heaved a great sigh.

  His curse was finally over.

  Now he need only seek his place of refuge.

  Blessedly, he knew exactly where he needed to go.

  Chapter One

  Dunroamin Castle

  A Registered Residential Retirement Home

  Scotland’s Far North, the Present

  Someone was watching her.

  Cilla Swanner dropped the pullover she’d been about to lift out of her suitcase and stood very still. Something had prickled her nape and it wasn’t the overall gloom seeming to fill the shadowy, dark-paneled bedchamber. Nor was it the deep silence pressing in on her from all sides, even though it wasn’t much later than three in the afternoon.

  She turned to a particularly suspect corner, eyes narrowing. She would’ve sworn she’d caught movement there. Something – her imagination insisted - that would prove to be all claws and fetid breath.

  Long, flashing teeth and fiery red eyes.

  Fortunately, the scariest thing she detected was a faint waft of mildew.

  She almost laughed. She was bigger than the smell of damp and old furniture. And as a modern, sensible soul, she’d simply ignore how much the lavishly furnished, gothic-style room reminded her of every Dracula movie she’d ever seen.

  That would be her first line of defense against weirdness.

  A tactic she’d likely need since the room would be hers for the summer.

  Even so, she allowed herself a quick glance over her shoulder, half expecting the latched window shutters to slowly swing open, giving her a glimpse of the thick fog currently rolling across Dunroamin’s lonely shore. Pea soup, she’d call such roiling, impenetrable fog, though the local term was sea haar. Either way, she just knew that if she did dare a look, more than swirling gray mist would greet her.

  In her present jet-lagged state of mind, she’d likely see a seagull glide past and mistake it for a bat.

  Reaching again for her pullover, she thought better of it and rolled her shoulders instead. She was not exactly a Lilliputian, and so cramming herself into an economy window seat from Newark to Glasgow had left her feeling stiff, achy, and more than a little cranky.

  The endless drive north hadn’t done much to de-frazzle her, however breathtaking the scenery. Thank goodness she’d had competent escorts and hadn’t had to brave the left-sided driving and spindle-thin roads herself. Equally good, she knew exactly how to banish her body aches and tiredness.

  A long, hot shower was what she needed.

  And no matter how Transylvania-like the high-ceilinged, wooden-floored room struck her, its spacious and airy bathroom looked totally twenty-first century.

  Already feeling the restorative pounding of a good, steaming shower, she stripped with light-speed. But just as she reached to unhook her bra, she noticed the framed poster of her Aunt Birdie and Uncle Mac on Dunroamin’s steps.

  She had a copy of it in her apartment back in Yardley, Pennsylvania. Hers was mounted in a tartan frame and had pride of place above her living room sofa. This one hung near the shuttered windows, its Old World-looking frame as dark as the room’s paneling.

  But at least its familiarity took away some of the room’s eeriness. Thankful for that, she tossed aside her bra and went to look at the poster.

  It was a Christmas card photo she’d had blown up just last year, thinking that her aunt and uncle would appreciate the way a slanting ray of winter sun highlighted the stone armorial panel with the MacGhee coat-of-arms above their heads. Theirs, and the dark head of a tall, broad-shouldered man standing a few feet behind them, close to the castle’s open door.

  “Huh?” She blinked, certain she was now not just jet-lagged, but seeing things.

  The man – who looked quite roguishly medieval – hadn’t been in the poster before.

  Nor was he there now, on second look.

  He’d only been a shadow. A trick of light cast across the glass.

  She shivered all the same. Rubbing her arms, she stepped closer to the poster. He’d looked so real. And if she was beginning to see imaginary men, handsome, kilted, or otherwise, she was in worse shape than any jet-lag she’d ever before experienced.

  Certain that had to be it – the mind-fuzzing effects of crossing time zones and lack of sleep – she touched a finger to the poster glass, relieved to find it smooth and cool to the touch, absolutely normal-feeling, just as it should be.

  But whether the man was gone or not, something was wrong. In just the few seconds she’d needed to cross the room, the air had grown all thick and heavy. Icy, too. As if someone had set an air conditioner to subzero, deliberately flash-freezing the bedchamber.
<
br />   She frowned. Unless she was mistaken, Dunroamin didn’t have air conditioners.

  It did, however, have strange shadows in posters.

  No, not shadows.

  The man was back, and this time he’d moved. Just as dark and medieval-looking as before, he now stood next to Aunt Birdie and Uncle Mac instead of behind them.

  “Oh, God!” She jumped away from the poster and raised her arms across her naked breasts.

  He cocked a brow at her – right through the poster glass!

  Her heart began to gallop. She couldn’t move. Her legs felt like rubber, and even screaming was pointless. Her throat had closed on her and her tongue felt stuck to the top of her mouth.

  Disbelief and shock sweeping her, she looked on as the man, illusion, or whatever, sauntered away from her aunt and uncle to lean a shoulder against the door arch. Devilishly sexy – she couldn’t help but notice - he just stood there, arms and ankles crossed as he stared back at her.

  Once, he flicked a glance at something that looked like a round medieval shield propped against the wall near his feet. She thought he might reach for it, but he only looked up to glare at her.

  “You aren’t there.” She found her voice, a pathetic croak. “I am not seeing you-”

  She blinked.

  Mr. Wasn’t-Really-There was gone again.

  Only the shadow on the glass remained.

  “Oh, man.” Her shower forgotten, she snatched up her bra and the rest of her airplane clothes, tossing them back on even faster than she’d taken them off. She should never have accepted Uncle Mac’s welcome dram.

  Not after being up nearly thirty hours.

  “Miss Swanner?” A woman’s voice called through the closed door, accompanied by a quick rap. “Are you awake?”