by J. H. Croix
Remy drew his fingers out slowly, his hand curling over my thigh as he pressed a kiss to the side of my neck. That kiss sent a little shock wave of pleasure through me.
As I slowly became aware, rising through the haze of sated pleasure, I opened my eyes to find him waiting. Sweet hell, he was so damn handsome. With his hair mussed, his lips a little red and swollen from our kisses, and desire still contained in his gaze, my heart gave an odd beat. The intensity of this moment almost overwhelmed me.
I shifted, reaching between us. I may not have had a relationship in a while, but I knew the expectations. I slid my hand over the rough denim, savoring the feel of his hard arousal under my palm. His breath hissed through his teeth, and he shook his head slowly.
“Not now, sweetheart. That was all for you.”
Chapter Eleven
Remy
Rachel stared at me, her blue eyes wide, skin flushed, and her lips puffy from our kisses. Fuck me.
This woman.
It was taking about all of my control not to fuck her. Right here. Right now.
Quick and dirty.
I didn’t even know why I was insisting on waiting. It was something about those glimpses of vulnerability in her eyes. There was also something about the way I felt when I was with her.
I didn’t want to rush this. I hadn’t had much sex lately. It was hit or miss. In fact, sex had become impersonal and brief. Nothing more than a means to an end.
I didn’t want whatever this was with Rachel to be like that. I wanted, I craved, the slow build, the anticipation. I knew if I waited, it would only be that much hotter, that much sweeter, that much more intense, and that much more intimate.
With her blouse hanging open, and her glorious breasts bare for me, it was all I could do not to dip my head and catch one of her taut nipples in my teeth again. I wanted to give a hard suck before sheathing myself in her slick heat.
I shackled my need and clung to my control.
“All for me?” she asked, the husky sound of her voice catching little hooks in my heart, notching up the need inside that much more.
My cock was so damn hard, I knew I’d be taking care of matters at my own hand when I got home. I ignored my cock’s protests.
I squeezed just above her knee. “That’s right, sweetheart. All for you.”
Something flickered in her eyes. Her hand stilled where she had it curled over my cock, and her gaze shuttered as she pulled her touch away. “Okay,” she replied, her tone flat.
I didn’t like that. I didn’t think she was shutting me out consciously, but I sensed someone had done a number on her. She curled one hand tightly over the edge of the counter and worried her bottom lip with her teeth.
“Don’t. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but if you think for a second that this has anything to do with me not wanting you, think again. I want you so bad, it hurts. But you’re more than that. I want to make sure you know this is more than just one night.”
Rachel’s mouth fell open. “Oh.”
“I’m on duty for the next few days. I’ll text you, and we’ll have dinner when I’m off.”
I reached for her hand, pressing it over my arousal again. “This is all because of you.”
Her eyes widened. When I leaned forward and caught her lips in a kiss, it was all I could do not to forget my promise to myself not to turn this into a quick, dirty fuck. When I drew back, her gaze was dark again and her lips curled into a slow smile.
“You’re quite convincing,” she said.
I grinned as I stepped back. “Three days.”
The following morning, I rolled out of bed, my cock hard. I was alone and woke from a dream about Rachel. Although I had taken care of matters last night, it didn’t seem to matter. I wasn’t up for another lonely release, so I took a cold shower.
Women didn’t usually grab hold of me the way Rachel did. I was a little frustrated that my crew happened to be on a three-day rotation. Thank God I loved my job.
Since I had moved to Willow Brook, I had bought a place close to town, no more than a five-minute drive from the station. Although I hadn’t known how long I wanted to stay here, it seemed a smart move to buy rather than rent. My house was on a few acres with a pond off to one side, a small field on the other, and a mix of evergreens, cottonwood, and birch trees scattered around. The small two-story ranch was a timber frame home and blended into the surroundings. It had two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs, and the downstairs was essentially one large open space, with the exception of another bathroom and laundry area. There was a soapstone fireplace to one side with the kitchen to the back.
After I showered, I headed downstairs, dragging on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, the hardwood floor cool under my bare feet. The living room offered a view of the field out front with the sun striking the tops of the trees. I’d yet to see this home in the summer because I bought it last fall. For now, the front lawn was a bit muddy with a few patches of snow left in the trees.
I angled across the living room where there was a sectional couch and a few chairs with a coffee table. One of the draws to purchasing this home had been that it came fully furnished. The prior owners had moved out of state and rented it for a few years, leaving all the furnishings behind. That made it an easy sell for me, aside from the fact that the price was right and I liked the property.
I started the coffee and then spun around, searching for my phone when I heard it buzzing somewhere. I spotted it on the corner of the counter where I must’ve tossed it last night when I got home. Striding over and glancing down, I saw my sister’s name flashing on the screen. Lifting it, I slid my thumb across. “Hey Shay. What’s up?”
“I haven’t talked to you in a few days. Just calling to see how you’re doing,” she replied.
Shay and I spoke every few days, no matter what. For a while, I had called a bit more, but that was back when her asshole ex had been putting her through hell. He was in jail for years now, and that was more than fine with me.
“Well, I just rolled out of bed, and I’m waiting for coffee. What are you up to? You’re four hours ahead there.”
Alaska had its own time zone, an hour behind the Pacific time zone. With Shay back east, she was a full four hours ahead.
“I’m making coffee and about to go meet Jackson for a tour of the rescue area. I thought I’d call you while I’m waiting.”
“You give him hell for being late, okay?” I teased.
Shay laughed. “Uh, no. Seeing as I just got here a few days ago, I won’t be giving Jackson hell about anything. I’ll leave that to you. I’m just glad Ash called me about staying here.”
“It’s going okay there?” I asked.
I was glad my best buddy and his little sister had a room for Shay at their family’s farm, but she’d been reluctant when I suggested it. She didn’t like anyone having much of an opinion about her life. She considered me—or anyone, for that matter—worrying about her, a nuisance.
I just wanted her to be somewhere where I knew she would be okay. She’d lost just about everything when things went to hell with her ex. She’d never married him, but he isolated her so thoroughly, she hadn’t had anywhere to turn after our parents died. I’d almost left my job and gone back there, but she’d vehemently protested that.
“Of course it’s going okay,” Shay replied with a sigh. “You don’t need to keep worrying. I’m fine. Clint is long gone. I know I screwed up, but nothing like that is ever going to happen again. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t plan to date. Ever again.”
“Shay, nobody, absolutely nobody, judges you for what happened, so stop saying you screwed up.”
She was quiet for a moment and then another sigh filtered through the phone line. “I know you don’t, but it doesn’t change the fact that I blame myself.”
“Shay…” I began.
She cut me off. “I’m figuring it out, Remy. I’ll get through to the other side, but just let me find my own way.”
The
only time I questioned my choice to move so far away was when it came to my sister. Before I could say anything else, she continued, “And don’t you dare feel bad for being in Alaska. It was the best thing for you after what happened. As much as I love you, I don’t need you hovering over me. You know you would, so don’t lie,” she finished with a little laugh.
I smiled at her laugh, but my heart ached a bit. I hated what Shay went through, but I also knew her well. She was a fighter. She’d always been headstrong and willful when we were growing up. After the fiasco with her ex, well, that was the only time she let me step in and help her. I didn’t know if I would ever stop wondering if I was too late. There was still so much I didn’t know about what happened before she ended up in the hospital.
I shook those thoughts away, focusing on the moment. “I know, sis. You’ve told me forever that I didn’t need to be bossing you around. I guess I’m glad Jackson is there to do it for me.”
She snorted. “Right, because I love that. Anyway, tell me what’s new with you. Please tell me you found a girl.”
Shay was as protective of me as I was of her. After our parents died, my girlfriend at the time had broken up with me. Not right away, but a few months later, saying I was distant and emotionally unavailable.
She’d been quite right. I was barely tuned into life, much less romance. Cheryl and I, well, we’d been comfortable enough. I suppose my parents’ death had illuminated some of the gaps in our relationship. Namely that we’d stayed together mostly because it was comfortable.
Although Shay had been disgusted with Cheryl, I completely understood why she broke things off. It had hardly registered for me. Since then, Shay had left me in peace about my personal life, until about six months ago. Out of nowhere, at least as far as I could tell, she decided it was time for me to fall in love.
That was a good reason not to be living in the same town as her. I could only imagine her matchmaking attempts if I lived anywhere nearby. She couldn’t see me smile, but I did. “I can’t say I’ve fallen in love, but I did take someone out to dinner last night.”
The fact that slipped out surprised me. Shay squealed so loudly I had to pull the phone away. “Turn down the volume,” I said when I put the phone back to my ear. “It was just dinner.”
On the surface, that was true. Yet, Rachel was something else. She poked and prodded at my heart. My cock had a pretty strong opinion about what I should have done last night. Dinner was not enough.
“I don’t care if it’s just dinner. The fact that you took anyone out is amazing. Tell me all about her.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Her name is Rachel, she has a dog named Henry, and she’s beautiful.”
“I don’t care what she looks like, Remy. Does she have a good heart?”
Shay was about as sentimental as it was possible to be. I thought of the look in Rachel’s eyes when we were close, and my heart squeezed. Although there was a lot I didn’t know about her, I knew without a doubt that her heart was true.
“Yes, Shay, she has a good heart. It was just dinner.”
“Promise me you’ll give her a chance,” Shay said, her tone softening.
Shay had shared her opinion with me, quite a few times, that she thought I was shutting myself out from loving anyone else. She was quite right, but I wasn’t about to admit it. Not out loud.
The way Rachel made me feel was unsettling, yet the force of her was too powerful for me to ignore. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I wasn’t going to walk away without letting it play out.
“I promise, Shay.”
When do you see her again?”
“What is this? Twenty questions?”
“Do I get twenty questions?”
I threw my head back with a laugh, glancing over when the coffee maker beeped, indicating the coffee was ready. Phone in hand, I strode over and snagged a mug out of the cabinet above as I spoke. “No, I’d rather not give you twenty whole questions. I’m on duty for the next three days, but I told her I’d call when I’m off. Good enough?”
She squealed again. “Yes!”
“All right, I gotta go. I need time for a shower before I head into the station. Tell Jackson I said hello. Okay?”
“Of course. Love you, Remy.”
“Ditto.”
Chapter Twelve
Remy
Late that afternoon, I set the chainsaw down, pulling my leather gloves off and sinking down to sit on a fallen tree. Ward tossed me a bottle of water from where he sat a few feet away.
“Thanks, man,” I said with a nod before unscrewing the cap and almost completely draining the small bottle.
With it being spring, there weren’t many fires to deal with, not just yet. We’d flown out to a nearby area, which had been hit hard by spruce bark beetle kill over the last two decades. We were taking the time to do some burn prevention and hopefully minimize fires if they got started, creating several channels through the wilderness to serve as firebreaks. Once things dried out a little, but before it was too dry, we would do a controlled burn. In the meantime, we were camping out here for three days. I actually loved this kind of work. It was hard and physical and kept me from thinking too much.
Leaning back on one of my hands, I glanced up toward the horizon. From this part of Alaska, Denali, the tallest peak in North America, was a centerpiece of the landscape. It towered in the distance.
Glancing to Ward, I said, “This is beautiful country, man.”
He tossed me another water bottle. “That it is,” he said, his mouth curling in a slow smile. “I love it here. How you like it so far?”
“Like I said, it’s beautiful.”
I didn’t speak much about why I had moved here with my crew, but Ward knew. He knew because we trained together. He knew I had been delayed for my training because of my parents’ death. One thing I liked about Ward as a superintendent, and as a friend, was he didn’t push on issues. He let things lay low, but he was there if you needed him.
After I took another few gulps of water, I continued, “Willow Brook’s a nice town. With Anchorage nearby, I can get my city fix. But I like things quiet, and Willow Brook is definitely quiet.”
“Wait until summer,” Ward said with a chuckle. “The population nearly triples, if not more. How’s your sister?” His question felt almost like an afterthought, but I knew it wasn’t. Ward paid attention to details, even if he didn’t say much about them.
Shay had come out to visit while I was in California at my hotshot training, so Ward met her. “She’s good.”
A few other guys meandered over. We were finishing up for the day and needed time to set up camp. We weren’t really roughing it where we happened to be right now. With a staging area set up, we had a big canvas tent where we could crash. In fire season, we were on the move. With the ground damp and no risk of fire, we had the rare pleasure of a campfire that evening.
The guys were teasing about a call last week. “You know Carrie. Now she’s got two freakin’ cats climbing trees. Is there going to come a point where we can tell her she can’t get another cat?” Jesse Franklin asked.
Beck chuckled. “Nah. Stopping by to help Carrie is easy. I’ll take that over the fucking call out to that asshole, Bruce Sutton. I’m just fucking glad I didn’t have to deal with him.”
“He’s out of jail?” someone asked.
I idly listened, not thinking much of it.
Beck nodded, his gaze sobering and a hint of anger appearing. “Oh yeah. Did his time, and now he’s out. He’s already shacked up with some chick. He punched a hole in the wall, and she called the police, or so the report said. He was booked, posted bail, and went back on that same night. Thing that pisses me off is we already saw his game with Rachel, and I hate seeing it happen to another woman. It’s a bunch of fucking bullshit. I don’t understand why guys like that should even be able to date.”
When I heard Rachel’s name, my ears perked up. Ward shook his head slowly, rolling his eyes. “Tota
lly agree with you on that. But, it’s a free country. Don’t think any law will keep him from dating. I hope he got charged with something.”
Beck nodded. “Rex wasn’t on duty, but one of his guys charged him, even when his girlfriend tried to back out of it later.”
“Who the hell is Bruce?” My question surprised me. Normally, I’d keep my curiosity to myself.
Ward glanced my way. “He’s an asshole.”
Beck piped up. “He moved here a while back. You know Rachel, right?” At my nod, he continued. “She started dating him, and things got ugly. It was hard to see how that played out. She finally got out, and he faced some pretty serious charges by the time all was said and done. I was hoping when he got out of jail, he wouldn’t try to come back here.”
“You okay?” Ward asked. I didn’t realize I was nearly crushing the plastic water bottle in my hand until I saw his eyes flick down.
I eased my grip. “I’m fine. Just hate hearing shit like that. My sister went through something similar. Her ex damn near tore her up. The damage on the outside is bad enough, but the rest is even worse.”
“Your sister okay now?” Beck asked.
“Yeah, she is. Her ex was facing charges and then got himself in an even bigger mess with a DUI, where he ended up killing two people in an accident. He’s in jail for a damn long time now between all the charges. So, yeah, I’ve seen more than I ever needed of assholes like that.”
“Damn straight. I get it. Rachel’s a good friend, and I don’t even like thinking about him being in town,” Jesse chimed in. “I’ll have to let Charlie know. She sees Rachel every day at work, and they’re tight, so she might want to have a heads-up Bruce is around.”
“Any kinda restraining order in place?” Damn, my questions were just slipping out. I knew far more than I ever wanted to know about the way the legal system worked for women who ended up in these situations. It was slow and nothing but paper as far as I could tell. Court documents didn’t keep anyone safe.