The Search for Starlight

by Elyse Salpeter

  Kelsey looked stunned. “Every time?”

  Robbie nodded. “Look, I know you don’t want to accept it, but this is what demons can do. You were the only one with the humans who had that power. Desmond obviously can’t get anywhere on his own using his mind. I can’t either. I have to use this ring.”

  Kelsey was having a hard time with this. “Fine, fine! So I’m a demon! Are you happy now?” she fumed. “And since I’m so all powerful and mighty, I guess now I’m going to take myself to this consciousness realm I’ve visited before,” she said sarcastically. “If I can figure out how to get there.”

  “You will.” Robbie sounded confident.

  “My hope is that if I am wearing the talisman, it will travel with me as well,” she mused. “I mean, I brought Mara’s pearls with me to Xanadu, which I only go to in consciousness, so in theory this will work as well.”

  “I’m telling you it will. Stop doubting yourself,” Robbie said. “Once you actually accept who you are and what you’re capable of, everything should fall into place. That’s what my teachers have told me. Only a conflicted demon is easy prey. The others we must always be careful of.”

  “Accept who I am. Great.” Maybe he’s right. Maybe I do just have to just accept it. But if I do, will that be pompous of me? I’ll have the powers of a goddess on Earth!

  She eyeballed him. “Hey, genius, does your body always travel with you to whatever realm you’re in?”

  Robbie nodded. “My entire physical and mental being travels.”

  “It’s the same when I went to Xanadu, Kelsey,” Desmond said. “I left Aihika and traveled to Xanadu, body and spirit.” Desmond said. “But that doesn’t happen to you, does it?”

  “It could be because I’m meditating instead of going through a portal. Or maybe it was one of the monks taking me to Xanadu and separating my physical body from my mental state?”

  Robbie snorted. “Or maybe it’s because you’re a demon and there’s no way they’d let a whole, full demon into Xanadu, no matter how righteous you’ve become. Ever think of that, genius?”

  She glowered. “I’m thinking of it now, thanks. Enough, let’s do this.” She dropped to the rug. “Sit next to me, O great demon hunter. I’m pretty certain only your soul will travel to this realm I’m trying to take us to, and your body will remain here with Desmond. This isn’t a physical realm. Do you need to use your ring?”

  Robbie shook his head. “No idea. But it could help. In theory it should feel you and trace itself to you.”

  “Great. I’m not sure how this is going to work. Just sit quietly and wait until you feel something, or if you hear me, just try to listen to what I tell you. I’m going to try to reach the part of your soul that can travel, and I’ll take you where you need to be.” Kelsey closed her eyes and began wiggling her fingers in the age-old dance. Up and down, up and down. Over and over she moved them, faster and faster, like waves hitting the shore. She reached down deep into her being for the part of her that traveled. The part that was so easy to find now. She caught it, and in mere seconds heard the sound of the long horn being played in the palace commons of Xanadu. She pushed it away. No, I don’t want to go to Xanadu. Find the other doorways. There have to be other doorways. Believe in yourself. She kept up her dance, over and over she moved her fingers, waiting and watching, and then she saw them. Kelsey floated in her mind. More worlds and more doorways opened up before her, realms she’d visited before. The first doorway showed Xanadu floating by, a glimpse of the monastery as she peered through the entranceway. The land of Aihika followed through the next door, with the majestic Mount Sumeru in the background drifting past. Another doorway sparkled and glowed and Mara’s decadent palace sailed past her, showing Mara’s golden receiving room. Kelsey drifted, watching and waiting. Another doorway appeared. Through its darkness, she glimpsed a barren world filled with ash. The Hungry Ghost realm with its skulls and death soared on by, but she could hear the wails of the unfortunates who resided there long after it passed out of view. Kelsey let them all glide away and continued to search. She glanced back at her body, peering at it from above, and saw her form lying on the floor, cradled in Desmond’s arms. She’d already left Earth and was searching. Robbie sat next to her, sitting and waiting. He had not joined her yet. She reached out to him to pluck the part of his soul that could travel, seeking his essence.

  “Find me, Robbie. Hold out your hand.” She sent the thought through her mind. Her mind continued to float above, sifting, striving. She saw Desmond’s aura like a bright blue light shooting towards her, but she let it go past. A feeling of desire and comforting warmth flooded her as it passed by. She glanced down at the library and saw Desmond close his eyes and smile.

  Kelsey continued searching. Yeshe appeared. The stupid cat’s aura floated towards her with its angry scarlet color, pulsing like a sick heartbeat. Kelsey let that pass by, too. She was not searching for them. Come on Robbie, feel for me. Suddenly she saw it. A pale green tendril in the ether. She stared down below and Robbie swayed where he sat. Desmond reached out a hand and steadied him. The tendril started to take form and create mass. “Yes, Robbie, feel me. Reach for me.” And then he was there with her. Her brother reached out and clasped her hand tight and she had a moment to glimpse his unconscious form lying on the carpet below. They continued to float through the nothingness. The doorways to all the realms drifted by again and again in a continuous loop. Another door passed by, but it was closed and there were locks on it. Robbie moved towards it as if by rote memory. She floated along with him, but the door wouldn’t open to them. From up close, they could see the black steel frame had been secured with hundreds of locks. Where does that door lead to, Robbie?

  “Pritvhi,” he replied. She heard it in her mind and turned away from the locked door. A land she was not granted access to for reasons unknown to her. She and Robbie continued to float in the nothingness and the steel door soon floated off and away from them. Doorways continued to fly past with their visions of the monastery, Mount Sumeru and the Naraka palace displayed brilliantly through each entranceway. Again the world of ash, ice, and skulls. Kelsey let them all pass. None were the doorway she wanted. There had to be a way to find the one she sought. She’d been there before, so she should be able to get there again. She concentrated on Kenmut.

  Grandfather… help me. Help me find the right door like I did before. What had she done different? She’d been dying. That can’t just be it. I should be able to get there on my own. I did it once, I can do it again. Kelsey concentrated on the sky and the sun gods, concentrated on seeing Anubis with his jackal head and human body. His form solidified in her mind, and then an empty doorway with nothing but white beyond appeared far in the distance.

  Yes, there it is.

  Kelsey glided towards it, gently pulling Robbie along with her. The entryway loomed closer and closer until she floated in front of it and she and Robbie soared through and moved into a sea of nothing but white clouds.

  And suddenly Caim appeared there with them, no longer trapped inside the amulet. He had taken mortal form, with the arms and legs of a human. He possessed the features of someone of Asian descent, but there his humanoid manifestation ended. Massive coal-black wings extended from his bare back and his long, muscular arms ended in talons. A hard, formidable pointed yellow beak protruded from the middle of his forehead. Caim stretched both his arms and wings out wide and cried out in pure ecstasy.

  He spoke, and his voice boomed loudly in the nothingness. “You have no idea how long I’ve ached to do this. The feeling of release is exquisite. Thank you, Princess, for this gift.” Caim glanced around and then stared down at Kelsey with his beady eyes, suddenly wary. He placed his hand on the hilt of his sword. “Where have you released me, Tanha? I don’t know of this realm. Is this a trick?”

  “It’s a domain of only our souls, Caim. A separate space of pure thought.”

  “So, I’m not yet completely released from the amulet you wear around your neck
still?”

  “Not yet.”

  He squinted. “You lied to me. You promised me you’d release me.”

  “I didn’t lie. I did release you the only way I know how. But I promise you that if you tell me what I need to know, I will find a way to free you completely from your prison.”

  “Release me now. Let me out of the amulet forever and I will reward you, Temptress.”

  “Not until you answer questions for me.”

  Caim flew towards her and raised his sword. “You dare speak to me this way? Try to order me around? The President of the realms? Do not force my hand, Tanha. You are not strong enough to defeat me.”

  A flying dart flew past Kelsey’s head and soared directly into Caim’s chest, but went right through him.

  The demon turned his glare to Robbie. “Nice try, demon hunter,” he spit out. “I know who you are, too. Another pitiful human pawn and another laughing stock of the realms. But, apparently none of our weapons do any damage here.” He sheathed his sword in its scabbard and stared around. “Is this then one of the bardos?”

  “No, it’s not.” Kelsey concentrated and her form grew larger and larger until she attained the same size as Caim. Then she played with her fingers until little flames of fire sprang from each one. She wiggled them in front of Caim and then threw a firebolt at him. The flame soared into and then through him, but he still gasped in pain and stared at her, shocked.

  “Still think our weapons won’t work here?” she mocked. “Or maybe only mine work. Shall I do that again, just for fun so we can find out?”

  Caim bristled. “So, the Temptress has finally come back into her powers,” he snarled. “And how many eons has everyone in the universe been waiting for this great event to happen? You must have had some gods in high places looking out for you in this particular lifetime, Tanha. I imagine your father, Mara, is incensed.” He cocked his head. “How about we make a deal, Temptress? I can promise you anything you desire if you set me free.”

  “I need nothing from you but information.”

  He raised his brows. “What type of information?”

  “I want to know why the Emperor and Empress want me to bring you to them trapped in an amulet. Is it because you killed them? Why did you do that?”

  He bristled. “They asked this? It’s obviously to torture me, of course. Do not turn me over to them. You can’t do it. I forbid it!” His body pulsed and he flapped his wings angrily.

  “Right now I have no intention of turning you over to them. But I will if you don’t give me what I ask for.”

  Caim considered this and calmed. “What are your plans for me then, princess?”

  “When my quest is over, I will bring you back to the Naraka Palace and release you to Raga. She will find someone to free you.”

  “I want something else.”

  “What? Something more than my sister?”

  “Your sister is wonderfully fetching, and when I am released she will be mine once again. But what I want is my place back in the Order of Angels. That is my price for information.”

  Kelsey shook her head. “I don’t know how to do that. Especially if you committed a crime against humanity. You don’t deserve to be there.”

  Caim stilled. “I was sent there once. Find a way to do it again or I won’t help you.”

  Kelsey floated closer to Caim. So close she could smell the oils on his feathers. “You have no bargaining chip with me, Demon. I am not able to make you an angel. I don’t have that power.”

  Caim glowered. “If you can’t get me into the Order of Angels, then you find the monk that put me inside this amulet and destroy him.”

  “I doubt he’s even alive anymore.”

  “Then find his soul, Temptress.”

  Kelsey considered this. “Do you have his name?”

  Caim bristled. “No.”

  “Then I’m not sure how I can help you. I could ask the Emperor and Empress for his name. I’m sure they know who he is. They will mark him and if he travels to the hell realms, you may do with him as you wish when you return.”

  “Not good enough,” he snarled. “They will never help me. And you think it’s enough that I give you knowledge, and you give me a pitiful human who may not even be in the hell realms in the first place? No deal.”

  Kelsey squinted. “Really? No deal? He’ll be a human you will be able to torture for a millennia while he does his penance. Now tell me why you killed the Emperor and Empress, and if you don’t tell me the story, I’ll find out what you did another way. I’m sure Mara would tell me. And then you’ll be locked in that talisman forever, sitting on a shelf in Xanadu where you will rot for eternity. The choice is yours, Demon.”

  Caim bristled again, and a full minute passed before he spoke. “Fine.”

  “Now, speak.”

  “They want me because I killed them.”

  “I’m aware of that. Now explain.”

  Caim’s features twisted into a sneer. “I’ll do you one better. I can show you.”

  Kelsey raised her brows in surprise. “How?”

  “Because I made a deal with the Demon Auns, to find out what my deceitful, harlot stepdaughter had done to deceive me so. For full knowledge I had to leave the Order of Angels.”

  “Which demon is this Auns?” Robbie asked. “I don’t know him.”

  Kelsey spoke up. “He is the fifty-eighth spirit of Solomon and lorded over thirty-six legions of demons. He’s a gifted demon who trades knowledge for your soul. Was it worth it, Caim?”

  Caim smiled. “It was, princess, but only another fallen angel with the same needs as mine would understand. The demon Auns harbors his own hopes to return to the seventh heaven. He may return once he does his own penance. As for me, I needed to know exactly the depravity of what my daughter did. Her deceit. After all I gave to her. After all my nurturing and effort in finding her a suitable mate, she dishonored me and my family.”

  “How did you even get into the Order of Angels if you killed someone?” Robbie asked suspiciously. “It doesn’t work that way.”

  Caim bristled. “You act like what I did was wrong. She dishonored my family. It was in my right to punish her. And him. An honor killing. It was our law. You will see.”

  Kelsey shook her head, realizing something. “Caim you can say anything you wish to justify how you got into the Order of Angels, but I can tell you that with blood on your hands for the murders you committed, you would never have been granted access. Someone powerful put you in the Order of Angels when you died and started this path. My own path, too, began the moment you died. Someone orchestrated this entire thing. Something in your continuum started everything and got us to this point today.”

  Robbie nodded. “Caim’s continuum, and the Emperor’s and Empress’s. It all has to do with one of them.”

  “But which one?” Kelsey turned to Caim. “You know you’ve been used, Mr. President.”

  “As have you, Temptress. Someone more powerful than the Emperor and Empress has betrayed all of us.”

  “Then help me find out the truth and we will pay everyone back for what they did.”

  “Spoken finally like a true princess of the Naraka realm. At least you haven’t gotten too soft. Open your mind, Temptress, and you will learn something you never knew.”

  Kelsey felt her awareness opened suddenly. Her mind’s eye expanded as if she were peering through a window. In front of her unfolded a scene from long ago.

  The Empress stood in a darkened hallway, nursing a black eye and holding her arm. She’d been beaten. She was… human.

  Show me, Caim… show me what happened…show me what you did.

  And Caim did.

  Chapter Twelve

  The year 2070 BC, Henan Province, China

  Adra hid behind the wooden column in the courtyard garden and peeked at the procession readying themselves to depart the castle. Her glare focused squarely on her stepfather’s back. How she hated this man. Her stepfather, Caim, mounted his black
stallion, specifically chosen to be the largest and most intimidating animal in the march. Servants readied the steeds of the other riders and added supplies to their packs for the full day’s journey to the kingdom beyond. Her stepfather was joining the assembled procession to help bridge a truce between the two warring tribes. A truce in which she would be used as the main totem chip. If she could have shot daggers filled with the plague into the lot of them, she would have.

  A servant rushed by Adra with some last minute provisions and jostled her ribs. Adra flinched in pain. “So sorry, my lady.” The servant saw Adra’s blackened eye and reddened in embarrassment. She bowed and then ran off.

  Adra pushed her hair in her face to hide the injury so others would not see. Her stepfather had whipped and beaten her again earlier in the day after she’d been disobedient. He was getting more and more brazen. He used to punish her only on the places where her skin was covered by her luxurious silken robes, so no one would see his beautiful stepdaughter marred in any way. But now time was running out and he was getting more desperate that she comply.

  I am nothing to him but a stick to be thrown in a game of Liubo. Nothing but a pawn in a contract. I won’t be a part of it any longer.

  Nobleman Myang trotted up next to her stepfather on his aging steed. The man was a lecherous goat to whom her stepfather promised his only daughter to in marriage. It did not matter that Myang was sixty years old, or that he was constantly drunk on baijiu. It did not matter that Adra would be his wife number five. Nor did it matter that Myang treated Adra with utter disrespect and accosted her every chance he had, rubbing himself against her and shoving his hands up her skirts when no one was looking. This very morning she’d fled breakfast, but he’d come after her and molested her in the corridor. He’d grinned around a mouthful of rotten teeth and shoved his hand under her skirts as he tried to stick his tongue in her mouth. In an act of desperate bravery she’d smacked his face in disgust. Myang reported the incident to her stepfather, who dragged her to her bedroom by her hair and reprimanded her severely. Her own mother and brothers did nothing to help her. In fact, they appeared all too pleased when her stepfather doled out this punishment. Her mother was a foolish, cowardly woman. The only thing in her life her mother had ever saved her from was the ritualistic foot binding. Adra’s older sister had died from an infection from this practice and her mother forbade it being done to any other daughters she had carried, regardless if it would have made her less attractive to a suitor. Adra figured that her death would have meant less money for the family, and thus the lack of foot-binding had nothing to do with her mother caring for her and more about getting at least something for a dowry.