Conna in Crisis & The Marriage of Ulick

by James Kilcullen

  *

  Annie Clarke sat with him and their client, in the old stone courthouse, beside the Salmon Weir bridge, while the plaintiff’s case was pleaded by Mattie Hynes from Tuam. Ulick was bored. What the hell are we doing here? It’s a bloody waste of time. Why didn’t the stupid bitch settle when she was told to? Another two days wasted. I could be in Dublin doing my research for the Oko case. Even the judge is looking bored.

  When the court adjourned for the day, he drove out to the Ardilaun hotel, checked in and had a drink in the bar. Annie joined him, a different Annie to the demure little woman who sat beside him in the court. Dressed in a low cut black dress, she had just returned from the hotel hairdressing saloon. He ordered her usual—a Gin and Tonic.

  ‘How do you think we’re doing?’ she asked sweetly.

  ‘Don’t ask. I think we should dine early; Frankie is coming out to have a few drinks with me.’

  She concealed her disappointment. ‘Whatever you say, Ulick.’

  It was the first time she called him by name.

  *

  After dinner, Annie retired to her room while Ulick met Frankie in the bar; he ordered two pints and they sat in a secluded corner. As was normal, no one in the crowded bar passed any heed of them. Frankie always moved around like a normal citizen and nearly burst a gasket when Chief Super, Tom Lally, tried to persuade him to have a body guard. The super came up with his own solution; he had Frankie tailed at all times, but he didn’t know that.

  Frankie put down his glass. ‘I had a visit yesterday from Admiral John O’Flaherty of our navel service. There’s an American battle cruiser anchored west of Clifden. I sent for the ambassador and demanded to know what it was doing there. He told me it was outside the three mile limit and perfectly entitled to be there. I told him all USE states have a 200 mile coastal limit and to get his ship out of there. I also told him to stop flying spy planes over Connemara.’

  ‘What did he say?’

  ‘He told me, I’m not taking into account the seriousness of their problem. If another country gets their hands on this rocket, it would be disastrous for world peace. He’ll make no changes and when the rocket is found, marines will be sent ashore to recover it. Naturally, he’d like to work with us.’

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I told him to fuck off; we are a sovereign independent state; I would advise the USE and, if necessary, go public. He begged me not to; America’s enemies would send in their spies.’ He paused. ‘I told him they’re already here. What do you think we should do?’

  Ulick was silent for a moment.

  ‘Someone knows where this rocket is and I think know who that is. The big question, Frankie, is, when we get it, do we give it to the Americans?’

  ‘No fucking way.’

  *

  Judith Crosweller hired a taxi every morning and spent her days touring Connemara. She would inquire casually from her drivers or in pubs where she snacked; did anyone near the massive explosion a couple of months ago? Everyone seemed to have heard it; and had a different version of where it occurred.

  Then, one morning she took a taxi into Galway city and had coffee in Ella’s. Dandaboy tagged along. She entered the ladies room. Now, Dandaboy didn’t go in there; he’d not do that. When she emerged, he shook his head in wonder. She went in a blonde in a beige dress; came out a brunette in a black tee shirt over grey slacks, with a floppy hat that partially covered her face. Were it not for the pungent perfume she could have walked right past him unnoticed.

  Interesting, he thought, as he followed her down Shop Street. Entering the Lynch Bank she purchased the keys to three safe deposit boxes. Left alone, she took three thick packages from her bag and deposited one in each box. She put the keys carefully in her handbag. Then, she returned to the ladies room in Ella’s and changed back into her original clothes, before taking a taxi back to Turla. What’s going on here, Dandaboy wondered.

  *

  Dandaboy stood on top of the Rath and watched the sun rise high in the sky; it was a day when gigantic white fleecy clouds kept changing shapes as they drifted towards the mountains of Leenane. Setanta cantered along the road towards him, climbed up the mossy bank and joined him.

  ‘Why are you out so early?’ Dandaboy asked.

  ‘I’m having woman trouble.’ He replied soberly.

  ‘What that?’

  ‘I go to the office every morning with Ulick; yesterday, Annie asked him why he brings me? She doesn’t like me. If she gets him, I’ll be put out of my home.’

  ‘What did Ulick say?’

  ‘He say, I’m his silent partner. What am I to do?’

  Dandaboy scratched his head. ‘We make sure she doesn’t get him.’

  Overhead, a small spy plane cruised out across the lake.

  ‘What that?’ Setanta asked.

  ‘Ulick said it’s looking for big machine that crashed; it takes pictures.’

  ‘I not like.’

  Another one passed overhead.

  Dandaboy made a circle with his index finger.

  ‘Watch.’

  Little spy planes began to approach from all directions; they flew around in a great circle.

  ‘I not like,’ Setanta shook his head.

  Dandaboy smiled as he raised his finger again and pointed at a little island in the lake. Suddenly, the planes changed course and all of them headed towards the island; they crashed into one another there, in a mighty explosion.

  Dandaboy danced around waving his hands. ‘I knew they would; now we have peace and quiet.

  ‘I like it, DanO.’

  *

  Ulick was surprised when Judith Crosweller rang and made an appointment to see him. She arrived by taxi and was shown directly into his office. If Setanta was present, he would have been very impressed by this beautiful lady dressed in a smart black business suit; he was having his weekly grooming session with Bartley O’Connor.

  Ulick greeted her affably and listened to her proposal. He didn’t take any notes and, when she finished, remarked. ‘Isn’t this very risky; you’re playing in the big league now; those fellows don’t take prisoners.’

  She smiled. ‘We’ve laid our plans very carefully.’ She paused. ‘I know there’s risk, that makes it all the more exciting, but I’m confident we can do it.’

  ‘I wish you well; you’re one brave lady.’

  ‘Or maybe a fool,’ she interrupted him.

  He smiled. ‘Yes. I hope it works.’

  When she departed, Annie Clarke wanted to know about this new client; Ulick merely smiled but gave her no information. No file was opened. Setanta learned about it from the chit chat in the office. He asked Dandaboy if this could be another lady seeking Ulick’s favours. The little man shook his head. Setanta was surprised that he didn’t appear to be interested.

  *

  Michael Havlec had a long session with Moxy O’Shea during his two day visit to Galway. Despite Moxy’s assurance of victory, he was irritated by the delay; the oil rig was ready for shipment from the North Sea and it was essential that it be in place off Achill before the winter set in. It would take a year to erect the refinery and a further year to reach full production.

  He was beginning to feel the pressure. Two of his wells—one in Canada and one in Mexico—would bottom out in the next twelve months; and two borings in Australia had come up with poor quality shale. The Russian fields were going well, but having to pay the state 50% would greatly reduce their contribution to the balance sheet. Added to all this; three of his board directors didn’t like the way he shafted Hugh Weston.

  Leaving Galway he was driven to a secluded house near Ballinrobe where his two spies were staying. Both had spent weeks trying to bribe one or two influential people in Achill. Unsuccessful, they passed the time fishing and frequenting the local pubs. They wanted to return to London. Havlec disagreed; he handed each of them a brown envelope stuffed with euro and gave them their instructions. Send him a full report on the judge hearing the cas
e and the legal team employed by the Achill people.

  He flew back to London—from Galway—in the company’s executive jet.

  *

  Setanta cantered out the road with Dandaboy on his back; no one could see the little man. They stopped outside Nodie’s front door and knocked. She invited them in; hugged Setanta who danced around happily. John came forward and stared at Setanta; he smiled at Dandaboy. ‘Hello, funny little man.’

  Nodie corrected him. ‘John, say hello Dan-da-boy; he’s your friend and so is Setanta.’

  He tried to obey. ‘Hello, Dan-da, hello Stanta.’

  She grinned at him. ‘That’s very good, try it again, Dan-da-boy.’

  ‘Dan-da-boy,’ he announced proudly.

  ‘Well done; now Setanta.’

  He took a deep breath. ‘Santa.’

  ‘Well done, come and I’ll get you a biscuit.’

  ‘I want to watch telly, mum.’

  Dandaboy grinned at him. ‘Let me show you a trick first.’

  With that he blinked and disappeared. John looked around.

  ‘Where he go, mum?’

  Dandaboy reappeared behind him. ‘I’m here, John.’

  He was bewildered. ‘How you do that?’

  ‘Magic.’

  ‘Do it again.’

  He did and when he reappeared they all laughed.

  Dandaboy asked Setanta to take John for a ride around the garden; the big dog grinned while Dandaboy helped the child up on his back. They took off with the child leaning forward with his arms around Setanta’s neck. Returning in great glee, John dismounted, put his hand on Setanta’s head and grinned happily.

  ‘You my friend too.’

  *

  Captain Ed Rosoxzi, aboard the USS Texas, anchored three miles west of Clifden, was furious and puzzled. A scrawny little man, with twenty years service, he paced back and forward in the control room, while his number two, First Officer Pete Benten, stood patiently waiting for the outburst that he knew would follow.

  ‘How the fuck could all our blackbirds crash; we’ve used them successfully in three wars. Dammit, they couldn’t all be defective.’

  ‘I agree, sir. I have another batch ready. Do you want me to launch them?’

  ‘Yes, dammit, do.’

  He picked up the phone and spoke briefly to the launch team; then turned to his captain.

  ‘Launch in five minutes sir, all programmed to criss cross the area. Computer trackers locked in.’

  It was a clear bright morning with a good view of the coast, the town of Clifden and the twelve Bens mountain range in the background. They watched in silence as one by one the little craft lifted off, rose to one hundred feet and headed towards the coast.

  Now they could settle down to another boring day and await results; they ignored the Russian and Chinese ships anchored less than a mile away. He thought this operation was a complete waste of time; he didn’t even know what they were looking for. He wondered what time it was in Seattle; was it eight or ten hours behind? He wanted to ring his wife.

  His thoughts were interrupted by the phone; Pete Benten picked it up.

  ‘Are you serious?’

  The captain leapt up. ‘What the fuck is it now?’ he demanded.

  ‘They’ve lost control of the blackbirds; they’ve got them on visual.’ He paused. ‘They’ve turned; they’re coming back towards us.’

  Together, they raced out on deck; sure enough the blackbirds were coming towards them, holding level at a hundred feet. They watched in horror while the craft flew over the ship and eventually disappeared into the western sky.

  ‘What the fuck do we do now? The Captain demanded.

  ‘They’ll run out of fuel in two hours and crash into the sea.’

  ‘Another fuck up. They had better not try to blame us.’

  He sat down to write his report.

  Pete Benten rushed in.

  ‘The enemy ships, sir.’

  ‘What the fuck about them?’

  ‘They’re gone, sir.’

  ‘Get me the admiral on the phone.’

  *

  Annie Clarke took the morning off and drove into Galway; she did some shopping and then dropped into Ella’s for a coffee. The restaurant wasn’t busy. Ella joined her. Annie was apologetic.

  ‘Ella, I’ve agonised for weeks, but I think I should tell you.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘We had a High Court action here in Galway a few weeks ago; that night we stayed at the Ardilaun.’

  She remembered; Ulick asked her to join him for the night. She didn’t, but remembered that night for another reason.

  ‘Well,’ Annie hesitated. ‘Ulick came on to me.’

  Ella was horrified.

  ‘You mean he raped you?’

  ‘No, it wasn’t rape. He had drink taken; I had too; my guard was down. No, it wasn’t rape.’

  ‘Why are you telling me now?’

  She smiled wanly. ‘I’m your friend; I thought you should know.’

  ‘Thanks for telling me, Annie. Where is Ulick?’

  ‘He’s in Dublin. We have a big case coming up shortly.’

  *

  In the afternoon, Ella drove out to Conna, parked outside Ulick’s house, put all her clothes and belongings in the car and drove back to Galway. She didn’t even call to see her aunt, Nan, in Paulo’s. She had known for some time that her relationship with Ulick was coming to an end; she was angry just the same.

  *

  In his palatial office, on the fifth floor of the Langley complex, CIA director, Joss Ryan, studied the single sheet of paper; he was furious. The former general, who had commanded American forces in Iraq, was still handsome although he had put on some twenty pounds since retiring from the army. He lived with his third wife, Nora in Washington. His two daughters, from his first marriage, were married to army officers and lived in New York.

  Its cryptic message read: You can have the plans of the X12 if you lodge $50 million to the under noted account. A numbered account in a Swiss bank followed. There was no signature.

  This was the realisation of his greatest fear; the plans of the X12 existed; Yang sold them out. But why offer them to the US government unless these people knew they hadn’t already got a copy? If the Russians or the Chinese already had the plans, they wouldn’t have sent ships to the area. It had to be a maverick outfit; the Middle East came to mind.

  He was furious that the best resources of his country could be thwarted by foreign or domestic enemies. How the hell could this happen; only a handful of people knew of the existence of the X12. It was a more closely guarded secret than Los Alamos. Not even his deputy was aware of it. He considered withdrawing the search team from Galway; better not, they still needed the rocket if it could be found.

  He needed more intelligence. For a start he would alert his agents, worldwide; was anyone offering to sell American rocket plans? He would still continue to operate on a need to know basis; not even the President would be told of this new development.

  *

  It was obvious to the Taoiseach that the American ambassador was concerned when he was admitted to Frankie’s office. Greeted affably, Frankie ordered coffee and forced his visitor to partake before getting down to business. Pleasantries over, the ambassador launched forth.

  ‘Taoiseach, are you aware that two warships are anchored off your coast; one Russian, one Chinese?’

  ‘Have you not been told those ships have sailed?’

  The ambassador was astonished, but didn’t show it.

  He changed tack. ‘Who has been shooting down our drones?’

  ‘I’m sure I don’t know.’ He had a good idea. ‘You are aware that those planes are an unwarranted intrusion into our sovereign territory.’

  The ambassador lost it. ‘You still don’t get it, Taoiseach. We will take whatever steps are necessary to recover our property and we’re not excluding physical force against you or any other country that gets in our way.’

&nb
sp; Frankie got up, angry now.

  ‘Ambassador, I don’t like your threats. Don’t come back here again until you’re a bit more civil.’

  The ambassador was angry too; as a diplomat he wasn’t supposed to lose it. Why wasn’t he told the enemy ships had departed? Why was he being side lined?

  *

  Ulick’s visit to the Dublin bureaucracy wasn’t very successful; he went through all the documents obtained a copy of the concession and studied the correspondence which took place between Oko and the department. The officials he dealt with didn’t want to know; they blamed the Minister of the day for giving the oil company such a sweet deal. Typical. However, they did provide him with copies of all the correspondence, which he put in his car, to take home for further study.

  Arriving back in Conna, late in the evening, he dropped into Paulo’s for a pint before going home. Nan approached him.

  ‘Ulick, are you aware that Ella moved out while you were away?’

  He put down his glass. ‘No, Nan. When did this happen?’

  ‘Tuesday.’

  ‘I’ll have to see her. Things hadn’t been going well for sometime but I didn’t expect this.’

  ‘Maybe you can persuade her to come back.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  He drove home quietly; Setanta was waiting for him. He leapt for joy, putting his two paws up on his shoulders. While he was away, Nodie looked after him; he became very friendly with little John.

  Ulick rang Ella at the restaurant; she wouldn’t take his call.

  The following morning he drove into Galway and made his way to the restaurant. Ella was still angry, but couldn’t show it in front of her staff. She sat down and had a coffee with him.

  ‘It’s over between us,’ she stated flatly.

  ‘But why?’ he asked.

  ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  ‘It does to me; why, Ella?’

  She finished her coffee, having difficulty containing her composure.

  ‘I want you to go now.’

  He left and drove home.

  *

  Judith Crosweller continued her travels through Connemara. She appeared relaxed and acted more like a tourist, but Dandaboy felt she was waiting for something. After lunch in the hotel, she usually sat on a bench by the lake reading her book. She still made a long distance phone call every evening.