by Apryl Baker
“Alex, you don’t know that,” Micah argues.
“Micah, don’t be ridiculous. He won’t hurt me.”
“It’s in his very nature to harm, to destroy. They cursed him to do exactly that.”
“And it’s not in your nature, in wolf form, at least?” I ask.
His glare could singe the Devil’s eyebrows. Truths are truths.
“You know I don’t believe that, Micah.” I soften my tone. “I admit, at first I was afraid. Your eyes are pretty freaky, Luka.”
“Thank you.” He grins, his eyes sparkling.
I roll my eyes.
“I did no mean to frighten you.” His expression is soft for a change, gentle.
I take a shaky breath and try to steady myself. When he looks at me like that sometimes, I can just melt.
“It wasn’t so much that you scared me as it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.” My gaze drops to my lap. “I’d seen so much already, and it was just too much and I flipped. I’m still flipping out.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard you trying not to think about it all day.” Micah sighs.
“And what’s with that?” I demand. “Why can we hear each other all of a sudden? I’ve felt you worrying all day.” My eyes widen as something snaps into place. “You! You were the person I kept hearing in my head! I thought I was going crazy, that I had schizophrenia!” I’d spoken to him earlier in my mind, and it hadn’t registered then that’s what I was doing. My mind is a muddle and taking its time putting thoughts together.
He shifts, looking guilty. “I’m sorry, Blue. I couldn’t come out and tell you. I never meant for you to think that.”
“I told you about Compton, Micah. I told you everything. Don’t you think my hearing voices out of nowhere would worry me, considering where I’m from?”
He hangs his head, and his remorse rolls through me. It hits me hard and I struggle to stay upright. Luka reaches for my hand, and a cold wind settles around me. Micah’s connection to me is muted, buffered, and I can bear it.
“I’m sorry.”
Dammit. I can’t even be mad at him. I can feel how sorry he is.
“Just, please, next time, tell me and don’t just let me think something is wrong with me, okay?”
“I promise.”
Luka shifts closer, pulling me into his side. He smells of the night, of the dark, of wild things I can’t explain. I can sit here forever and breathe in his scent and be content for all my life.
“It’s not something to be scared of, Alex,” Micah says, interrupting my thoughts. “It’s something wonderful. There hasn’t been anything like this among my pack in over two hundred years.”
“But what exactly is it?”
“Among my kind, my pack, there are two types of mates. One is a heart mate. They are the missing pieces of our hearts. Once our hearts meet, there’s no turning back. The love that spirals out of that meeting is instant and earth shattering. If defies logic, time, and sometimes even death.”
Oh, crap.
“Micah.” My voice is hesitant. I don’t want to hurt him. “I don’t feel that way about you.” That’s how I feel about Luka.
Luka lets out a breath I wasn’t aware he’d been holding, and he relaxes. I don’t know why he’s nervous. I already told him I don’t have feelings for Micah.
Micah laughs. “No, Blue, you wouldn’t, but I think it explains your earlier question to Luka. When two hearts find each other, it can be overwhelming. You wanted to please Luka, and so your wolf side did what she does best, she submitted to her alpha.”
“Submit to my alpha?” What the hell is he talking about? I may have spent half my life locked up and being told what to do, but I am not a submissive person to let someone walk over me.
“Don’t get all bent out of shape.” Laughter bubbles in his voice. “Wolves tend to mate for life, and that is the same in shifters. We share many of the same characteristics as a regular wolf pack, our mate being one of them. He has to prove to your wolf he is worthy of you, and once she’s decided he is her mate, she admits that he is her alpha. That doesn’t mean dominance. It means realizing she found another who will take care of her, provide for her, and keep her safe. In return, the alpha cherishes her, and while he can be domineering, especially when it comes to her safety, he treats her like the most precious treasure in all the world. His main job is showing her how much he cares for her.”
“So you’re telling me that my wolf thinks Luka is her alpha?”
“Yes. If you are responding to him like that, then she’s made up her mind.”
“What if I haven’t, though?”
“Doesn’t matter.” Micah chuckles. “With a heart mate bond, your wolf knows best.”
“That’s not fair.”
Luka pulls me closer, his arms tightening like iron bands. “You like me.”
“Yes, I do, but I don’t know about this mate business.”
“You and I share a different kind of mate bond.” Micah brings my attention back to him. “We are what my pack calls soul mates—we share the same soul. That’s why we are so attuned to each other. In some ways it’s even more powerful than a heart mate bond.”
“But doesn’t soul mate mean the person you love with all your heart?” I ask, confused. Everything I’ve ever read about soul mates clearly states it ended up being the greatest love story of all time.
“It’s a broad misconception,” he tells me, sounding very grown up. “Sometimes they can be one in the same, but that’s only ever happened once that I know of. We believe that when a soul is created, it’s torn into two halves in the spirit world before being sent out into this plane. Those two halves will wander the earth, always looking for, but usually never finding, their other half.”
Micah takes my hands. “I know you’re afraid, but you don’t have to be. We share the same soul, Alexandria. You are a part of me, and I am a part of you. What you feel, I feel. When I hurt, you’ll hurt. The bond we have goes so deep that nothing and no one will ever be able separate us, not even death. Once a soul is rejoined, it shall never be separated again.”
“Not even in death?”
“It is told that if one of us dies, so shall the other, to spend eternity together. It’s just a legend, though,” he hastily adds. “As I said, there hasn’t been a soul pairing in a long time in any culture I know of, except for one.”
“So you and I are kinda stuck together for eternity?” My mind is reeling. So much has been thrown at me.
“When I first met you, I freaked out big time. I saw you standing there all alone, vulnerable. You looked scared, like the world was going to snap you up and eat you alive. I don’t know, I had this sudden urge to just…touch you. I didn’t understand it, so I invited you to breakfast. When I looked into your eyes, something…happened. I still can’t explain it. I smelled the woods and the pack, but you weren’t pack. Then when you started to flip out because you could smell the woods and I realized I could hear you, I almost got up right then and there and ran, but I couldn’t leave you. I thought I was seriously going nuts.” He laughs. “I told Gramps about it as soon as I got home. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen the old man so excited. He explained it to me. The last person in our pack that it happened to was him. He helped me to understand it. I didn’t say anything before because, well, I was afraid it might freak you out worse than it did me. I didn’t want to lose you. You and I have been connected for a long time, Blue. You dreamed of wolves, and I had a make-believe friend named Ally when I was kid. She was you. I just didn’t realize I’d been trying to find you even then.”
I smile. I can’t believe he was worried about my freaking out. Being freaked out is normal for me. How can I not stay in a total state of freak-out when it feels like thousands of tiny bugs are crawling over every inch of my skin? Sabien promised it would ease up as my power settles itself. Yeah, r-i-i-ight.
Micah’s worry crashes into me. He’s scared he frightened me with all this talk of soul mates an
d stuff. He has no idea of how completely wrong he is. I’ve been all alone growing up. Jason, Emma, and Dad were great, but there was always something missing. I felt it more deeply when my mother left. It was a hole that ate at me all the time. Now Micah is telling me I will never be truly alone again. He will always be with me—mind, body, and soul. He will help to fill the hole.
The downside? I’m betting I can’t hide anything from the little eavesdropper.
“Nope, you can’t.” Laughter spills out of him at my aggravated expression, but he turns serious again. “You’re right about the other thing that keeps drowning out every other thought you have. You’re not afraid of me or Luka. You’re afraid of yourself.”
“But why fear yourself, munya?” Luka frowns at me.
“Because I’m a monster, Luka,” I whisper. “The lupine gene is in my blood like a ticking time bomb. And my…magic…is waking up. It scares me.”
“Do no fear what you are, Alexandria. Your power is a part of you. The gifts born to you through your blood.”
“It feels more like a curse than a gift.”
Even to me, I sound pathetic.
“No, this is curse.” His eyes flare with his own power, red rings encircling onyx jewels. “There is darkness in me, Alexandria, a darkness that drive me to do bad things because my family owed a blood debt. We would no kill, so they curse me to kill, but you? You are special. Your power is yours only. There are no many in this world like you.”
“You don’t understand, Luka,” I cry. “You don’t know what this drove my family to do, the horrors they inflicted to gain more power. I don’t want any part of it.”
“You were no raised like them.” His black eyes burn into mine. “You are no them. You could no do the things they have done.”
He looks so adamant, so sincere, I have to wonder how much he knows. He told me he came to kill me, but I have a feeling there is more to it. More that he’s hiding from me.
Micah apparently either hears me or the same thought occurs to him.
“And you sound like you know way too much.” His lips thin. “What aren’t you telling us?”
Luka’s face closes off faster than I can blink. It becomes the cold stone mask I know so well. I instantly miss the warmth of his smile.
“I tell you what you need to know.”
“What else is there, Luka?” Micah presses, ignoring the forbidding look on Luka’s face.
“Alex!”
I knew it wouldn’t last. Why, oh, why does my brother have to interrupt us now? My shoulders slump in resignation.
“Over here.”
Jason carries his baseball bat. He eyes the three of us with suspicion. “What are you doing out here, Alexandria?”
Never a good sign when he uses my full name. I can see the wheels turning in his head. Oh. As if.
“Not what you’re thinking, and even if it was, I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want.”
“Even if you are an adult, you’re still my sister!” Anger glows in his eyes. “It’s not safe to be out alone, Alex.”
“I’m not alone, now, am I, Jase?”
“I can see that,” he grinds out.
I stare him down.
“You know you’re not supposed to come out without telling someone,” he says at last, breaking the stare. “It’s not safe.”
I always win our staring contests.
“He’s right,” Micah agrees. “That’s why we came to talk to you, if you remember.”
“I’m trying not to,” I grumble.
“It’ll be fine.” Micah squeezes my hand. “The pack knows there are trackers in our territory now. We’ll be watching next time. They won’t slip by us.”
“As will I,” Luka assures me. “You’ll be safe, Alexandria.”
“What exactly is going on here?” Jason demands.
Micah grins and flashes amber eyes at him.
“Alex, get back!” He lifts the bat, preparing to swing. Before he’s raised it more than an inch, Luka is up off the ground and throws him back across the yard several feet.
Micah grins. “Showoff.”
Luka shrugs.
“Jase, are you okay?” I glare at them both and go to check on my brother.
“Alex, you have to get inside.” He struggles to sit up.
“No, Jason, everything’s cool. Micah and Luka are friends. They want to help.”
“But…”
“No buts, Jason. Calm down and listen. I think Micah can help you.”
“Help me? Did you see his eyes?”
“That’s why I think he can help you. He’s like you.”
“She’s right.” Micah approaches him just as carefully as he had me the other day. “My pack can help you. All that anger is getting harder to control, isn’t it? You’re almost ready to change. You’ll be lucky if you make it to the next full moon.”
Jason stares at him with open hostility. “I don’t need any help.”
I sigh. Boys.
“Do you want to change where there are humans around?” Luka asks him bluntly, cutting off any argument I might have made. “You would kill one of them. A newborn pup is no right in the head. He has no control. All he think of is the hunt, the smells, the feel of all that hot blood pouring down his throat. Is that what you want? Do you want to kill some innocent human because you are too proud to let anyone help you? What if that person is your sister? How would it feel if you kill her?”
“I won’t hurt her,” he replies hotly. “I’m not a monster.”
Oh, but he is. It seems I’m not the only one having trouble coming to grips with that particular fact. Jason just hid his anxiety better than I did.
“You will no be able to stop yourself,” Luka tells him grimly. “The first shift is like nothing you will ever know. There is no you left. The instincts of the wolf will take over. You will be the animal you have turn into. It take time and practice to learn to control the wolf. You can no do this by yourself. Let Micah and his pack help you.”
“No,” Jason snarls at him.
“You little fool.” Luka jerks him to his feet.
Jason growls, I mean really growls, as in a doggy growl. His eyes begin to glow with an amber light.
“Luka, maybe you should let go of him,” I whisper.
Luka smiles.
“You will no harm me and you will calm yourself.”
Power pours off of Luka in icy cold waves. Micah staggers back under its weight. It hits me hard, and I fall to my knees. I want to fight, I try to, but it’s useless. I have no will of my own anymore. Luka’s will controls me. I can’t deny him anything he wants.
Lord, give me strength.
“Luka,” I manage to choke out. “Stop.”
Instantly, I am free of whatever weird control he holds over me. Heat pours back into my frozen mind. Micah floods me with warmth. At least now I understand Luka was not controlling me. Maybe that first night in the woods, I concede. I felt the wind then and it calmed me down. Luka doesn’t look at us. He focuses entirely upon my brother.
“Who are you?” Jason breathes, his eyes back to their normal blue.
“Someone who plan on keeping your sister safe.”
“Luka, will you put him down, please?” I ask, getting to my feet and noticing my brother has somehow become suspended. Luka holds him easily.
Luka lets go, and Jason falls flat on his back.
I glare at him. “Did you have to do that?”
He shrugs.
“Alex, who is he?” Jason is staring at us from the ground.
“He’s my friend and he’s…something I can’t explain. He was cursed, and now there’s something in him that is as much a beast as we are.”
“You need to stay away from her.” Jason tells him softly.
“I will no do that. I will keep your sister safe, even from you.”
“I wouldn’t…”
“Arvah, you would.” Luka’s voice softens. “You no mean to, but if she were first thing you see w
hen you shift, your instincts would take over, and then you would tear her to pieces.”
I shudder at the image.
Jason looks at me with growing horror. I feel so bad for him. It’s exactly what I’ve been feeling the last couple of days.
“I’ll take you tomorrow to meet the pack,” Micah offers. “We’ll help you get through this.”
He nods, never looking away from me. “I don’t want to hurt her.”
“I would never let you,” Luka promises, an almost feral look in his eyes.
Jason looks at him sharply. Whatever he sees in Luka’s face makes his own drain of color, but he nods and takes a shaky breath. “Thank you.”
“Now,” Luka turns his attention back to Micah and me, “I think you and your brother need to be inside, Alexandria. You must sleep.”
He’s back to sounding arrogant and ordering me around again.
I open my mouth to tell him what he can do with that little bit of advice when Jason stands up.
“Let’s go, Sis.”
I indulge in a childish urge. I stick my tongue out at Luka, and he laughs. So not my intention.
Jason pushes me ahead of him and into the house. He really isn’t taking things as well as I thought. He’s just as freaked out and messed up as I am. Maybe being with the pack will help him.
I hope so.
Chapter
Eighteen
Why do people insist on banging on my door just when I’m falling asleep? My contemporary literature class really did a number on me. Professor Hanks has this monotone voice meant to put us all out. I had to pinch myself a couple times to stay awake. With no other classes today, I figured I could get in a much needed nap, but no. Someone is pounding on my door.
Grumbling a promise of death, I drag myself off the couch and open the door. Luka is on his phone, his foot tapping impatiently. “No, she here. She just open the door.”
Who is he talking to? I rub my eyes and step back so he can come in.
“You did no check to see who it is.” Accusation rolls off his tongue. It sparks my own irritation.