by Aj Harmon
Hair dry, make-up on, dressed and ready to go, Erica all but skipped down the flight of stairs and to the parking lot. She slid into the seat of her car and slipped her sunglasses onto her nose. She was going to enjoy herself. An evening with William would satisfy the unquenched desire she’d had for a long time.
*****
Back at the Holiday Inn, Greg shaved and Jill primped. She curled her hair and lined her eyes in black eyeliner and slathered her lips in red glossy lipstick. He patted cool aftershave, Jill’s favorite scent, over his cheeks and neck and dressed in a black suit with a crisp white dress shirt, open at the neck, adding his favorite cuff links to his wrist. Jill slid into her new dress and slipped her feet into the new strappy sling backs and dropped her phone, lipstick tube and handkerchief into her clutch. Greg pushed his feet into the leather loafers beside the bed and Jill hooked her new dangly earrings into her ears, a shiny bangle onto her wrist and turned to Greg with a smile.
“I do believe we are ready.”
“You are stunning! Maybe we should stay in,” he winked.
“Then this dress would be wasted,” she replied.
“Oh, no. Definitely not a waste. I’m going to relish every second of taking it off you later.”
Jill grinned. “I think I’m going to enjoy that, too.”
“Let’s get out of here before I change my mind and put the do not disturb sign on the door handle.” He opened the door and led Jill down the hall to the elevator and pushed the down arrow. As the doors opened, two men stepped off into the hall in front of them, each ogling her with appreciative looks. Greg just smiled and led her into the elevator. As the doors closed her whispered into her ear, “They can look all they want, but everything they see is all mine.”
Jill laughed.
“You think I’m joking?” he asked.
“What’s gotten into you this evening? You’re…you’re in a mood.”
“I am,” he smiled. “I feel like our whole lives are ahead of us, like the world is our oyster, like nothing of consequence has happened before this very moment.”
With her brows raised, Jill swung around to face him. “That sounds kind of nice, actually.”
They’d reached the lobby and exited the hotel. A cab was waiting and drove them just the few blocks to the upscale restaurant that held a reservation for them. Jill was duly impressed. They were led to a table that already held a chilled bottle of champagne and a dozen long stemmed roses tied with a red satin bow.
“Oh, Greg, they’re beautiful. Thank you.”
“Happy Anniversary,” he smiled.
“And to you, too.”
The waiter poured champagne into the flutes and they toasted once again.
16.
WILLIAM STOOD IN THE lobby of the Grand Hyatt hotel. He walked across the intricately patterned floor to the exit. He stood, motionless as he peered through the glass and then abruptly turned and headed back the way he came.
He was early. Seven minutes. He was afraid he appeared anxious. Arriving at the bank of elevators he swung around and attempted to look casual in his relaxed stroll back to the entrance of the hotel. He stopped before reaching the doors and looked out at the circular driveway in front of the hotel. It was bustling with activity. Cabs were dropping off guests and then picking up new fares. Bellboys were loading carts with luggage and there were several smokers huddled together getting their fix. He was so transfixed on the activity that he didn’t notice the red sedan pull up and a lovely woman take the card from the valet as he drove her car away.
Suddenly she was standing in front of him, startling him through the glass. She laughed when she saw him flinch at her unexpected appearance. And then he smiled and strode to the door and out into the fading sunshine.
“Hello.”
“Hi,” she smiled. “I’m not late am I?”
“No, not at all. I was a few minutes early down to the lobby and I was watching the smokers over there.” He nodded off to the left at the three men that had captured his attention. “It’s one of the things I will never understand.”
“What?”
“Smoking. Do you know what it does to your organs?”
Erica smiled. “Not all of us are doctors. We don’t see our insides very often…or anybody else’s, for that matter.”
“No, I suppose not.”
“It’s a beautiful evening.”
“Yes, it is. Shall we walk along the water for a bit?”
“I put on my comfortable walking shoes,” she grinned. “Walking would be just fine. Lovely, in fact.” She would treasure every moment they had.
Under the brilliant sky made up of pink and orange hues they walked side by side down to the marina and the dark blue water.
“It’s so different here than at home,” he spoke almost to himself. “I’d forgotten how pretty it is here.”
“Tell me about New York,” Erica said. “Tell me about your life there.”
With a shrug, William said, “There’s not much to tell. I work and I go home to sleep. And then I do it all over again.”
“Well that doesn’t sound very fun at all,” she frowned.
“No, I suppose it doesn’t,” he said, almost as if he was realizing it for the very first time.
“Why did you choose New York?”
“It’s where I got into medical school and then I did my residency there. It just became home. It chose me, I guess.”
Erica noted a sadness in his voice and she didn’t understand it. When she thought of his life she assumed it was full of glitz and glamor and everything she envisioned Manhattan to be from TV. The picture he had just painted was far from she had anticipated.
“My life is boring,” he said. “Tell me about you. What have you been doing the last twenty-five years?”
She opened her mouth to speak and then immediately closed it. What was there to tell? She went to work and came home to sleep and then did it all over again the next day.
“Well,” she began, “I work at Rite-Aid. I’m an assistant manager. I open the store in the morning and then when I get home I go for a run and then…”
“And then?”
“And then I go to bed and do it again the next day.” Her life sounded as dismal as his. The thought depressed her.
“Do you like it?”
“Like what?” she asked.
“Your job?”
“No. Actually, no, I don’t. But it pays the rent.”
William thought that sounded very monotonous. At least he loved his job. He loved helping people and he loved a puzzle and cancer regularly provided a mystery to be solved.
“You still run a lot?”
“I do. I love the way it clears my head and all I think about for those sixty minutes is my heart rate and all I hear is the blood pumping through my veins.”
“I remember watching you in high school.” He smiled at the memory.
“You do?” The shock in her voice was obvious.
“Yep. I would sit at the corner on my bike and watch you run with the cross country team every day after school.”
That made her smile. The thought was like a warm blanket around her heart. He used to watch me. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did you watch me run?”
His pulse quickened and he looked to his right, as far away from Erica as he could without making it look obvious, well, too obvious he was uncomfortable with her question. They walked a little further in silence, Erica waiting patiently for an answer, William stalling for time. Turning down the sidewalk, they headed to the restaurant entrance and joined with the throng of people waiting for a table.
“I called and made a reservation,” he smiled. “It shouldn’t be long.” Making his way to the hostess’ stand, he spoke to her but Erica couldn’t hear him over the noise.
In all the years she’d lived in San Diego, she’d never eaten here. It was beautifully situated beside the water, the marina to the south and the USS Midway just nor
th. The smell engulfing her nose was divine and making her hungry, her stomach making growling noises.
In just a minute, William returned, reached for her hand which she readily accepted and the hostess guided them through the crowds to a table that afforded them a view of the kitchen and the chefs grilling steaks and all manner of seafood. They sat across from each other and took a moment to take in their surroundings.
William leaned towards her and said, “I’ve heard great things about the food here.”
Erica smiled and before she could press him for an answer to her earlier question, their waitress arrived to hand them menus and take their drink order. Erica ordered water, so William followed suit.
“I’m driving,” she explained.
He smiled, and silently appreciated her responsible attitude. He ordered some fried calamari to munch on while they studied the menus and the waitress disappeared.
“So?” she asked.
“Hmm?”
“You didn’t answer my question. Why did you watch me?”
He couldn’t escape the big brown eyes in front of him, or the tilt of her head as she searched his face, seriously contemplating the question…seeking a truthful answer. William squirmed in his chair. He was a grown man on the outside, but not so much on the inside. Fearing rejection again, he looked down at his menu. But Erica continued to wait, and the silence forced him to look up. He had to answer the question.
Clearing his throat, he placed the menu on the table in front of him and took a deep breath. Why is this so hard? Why can’t I just say what has been bottled inside me for so long? Their eyes locked and he thought his heart stopped. Do I want to keep going through life never once taking a chance? Never allowing myself to acknowledge how I really feel? Never being bold?
Erica’s lips parted and William wondered if she was going to say something, but no words were spoken. She just stared at him, willing him to speak.
Stop looking back on your life and seeing only ‘what ifs’! Take a chance! Just once, have some balls for once and TAKE A CHANCE!!
With no more thinking, he just spoke from his heart. “I wanted to see you. I took every chance I could to be near you, to watch you, to wonder if you ever, even once, thought about me. So after school, I would race home and grab my bike and ride down to the corner and wait. I rode my bike so it looked like I was going somewhere and not stalking you,” he chuckled. “And when you were long gone, out of sight, I turned around and went home. You were all I could think about in high school. I’m surprised I passed any of my classes.” He looked back down at the menu and hid his trembling hands on his lap, under the table. For a brief moment, he thought he was going to be sick.
“Oh.”
He risked a glance across the table to the woman he’d loved for thirty years. She smiled.
“That is so…is so incredibly sweet,” she said, yet she looked so sad.
William’s heart withered at her expression. He had obviously upset her with his bold and unguarded revelation. He had disgusted her. It all but broke him.
*****
The champagne was perfect. The flowers were perfect. Her date was perfect and Jill bathed in the splendor of it all. She’d never had dreams or visions of being a princess and having a knight in shining armor for her lover. Well, maybe she did, but that was a long time ago, long before the realities of love shattered them and introduced her to a reality littered with heartache.
They laughed and ate and even danced a couple of times, swaying to the smooth sounds of Ella Fitzgerald. Greg held her close, so close she could feel his heart beat pounding against her breast. She inhaled his scent…the scent that reminded her she was home when engulfed in his strong arms.
Greg was animated and showed intense glee at her moving in with him when they returned to Chicago. There was his toothy grin plastered to his face all evening and it filled her with anticipation at starting a new chapter of their lives – together.
As they ate, they picked off each other’s plates, chatting away about anything and everything. Jill asked about his latest business venture, a video training series to teach others how to replicate his success. He asked about the airline gossip and they laughed uncontrollably at the crazy things that went on. She asked after his mother, a widow of several years who was living the good life in a retirement village in Boca Raton, courtesy of her devoted son. Greg inquired after Jill’s sister’s wedding plans and asked if the engaged couple had finally set a date.
When she couldn’t eat another bite, Greg took her plate and placed it in front of him on his empty plate and continued to eat while Jill marveled at his ability to pack away food while still looking like a Greek God. She watched him chew and gazed at his strong jaw and pink lips, eager to return back to the hotel and taste them.
When the waiter cleared the table and refilled their glasses, Jill waited for the dessert menu. Not so that she could order, but so she could graciously refuse and suggest that they head back, the physical need for him growing inside her. But he didn’t return and Greg suggested they dance again. The voice of Michael Bublé wafted through the restaurant and Greg stood and offered her his hand.
Their feet moved in sync as Greg sung softly into her ear, “The best is yet to come, and baby won’t it be fine. You think you've seen the sun, but you ain’t seen it shine.”
Jill smiled. “That sounds like a promise.”
“You bet it is,” he grinned and kept on singing.
17.
“I’M SORRY IF…”
“I wish you’d…”
They both spoke at once. They both stopped simultaneously.
William gestured with his hand. “You go first.”
Erica swallowed. “I wish you’d have said something. I never knew.” The last three words were almost a whisper. “Excuse me for a moment. Be right back.” Pushing her chair back, she left William and headed for the restroom.
Once safely in the privacy of a stall, Erica buried her face in her hands and wept. She ripped some toilet paper from the roll and blew her nose and gulped back the ensuing second wave of sobs. She felt ridiculous…her reaction to his confession absurd. Why would it cause such an emotional outburst?
“Are you okay, hun?”
Erica looked up and saw a pair of red leather boots standing in front of the stall door.
“Seriously, are you alright?” she asked again.
“Fine,” she managed to choke out.
“I don’t think so. You don’t sound alright. Far from it. Do you want to talk about it?” the voice said.
It was a kind voice, with a twang…from the South. Erica blew her nose once more, threw the wad of paper into the toilet bowel and flushed, and unlocked the door and let it fall open. There stood a woman in a denim skirt, red boots and a tank top. She appeared to be much older than Erica, and had a genuine look of concern on her face.
“Oh, goodness,” she said as she saw the mascara streaks on Erica’s cheeks. “Tell me, honey. What is it?”
“A man I knew in high school just told me that he had a crush on me and I never knew. I wondered, maybe even wished he did. I don’t know.” When she said it out loud it sounded even more pathetic. She was mortified.
“And you’re here with him tonight?”
Erica nodded.
“Oh, sweetie. That’s good news, isn’t it? Why are you crying?”
“I married his brother which was a huge mistake because he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants and slept with everything in a skirt. So I divorced him and have been alone ever since.”
“Oh.”
“He wasn’t the coolest kid in school. Far from it actually. But he was sweet and nice and if he’d just said something then maybe…”
“Maybe what?”
“I dunno. Maybe I wouldn’t have made the biggest mistake of my life and maybe there was a chance that…”
“That you and him would have gotten married and lived happily ever after?”
“Well, maybe.”
The woman laughed, almost a belly laugh. “Really? You think that high school love makes it to a happily ever after? The percentages are pretty low, let me tell you. I have five daughters that are probably around your age and only one of them married their high school boyfriend. Honey, if you’re both single now and are still interested in each other, then stop looking in the past and look into the future! You can’t change what’s done, but you can shape your destiny. Now, quit you’re blubbering and get yourself cleaned up and go back out there and grab that bull,” she grinned.
“Well.”
“No! No, ah, well, maybe. Either you’re going to change your life or you’re going to stay in the same place. The choice is yours. And if you choose to do nothing about it then the fault is yours, too.” She pulled Erica into a warm hug and then quickly left, leaving Erica standing in front of the mirror looking at her red eyes and runny nose. She turned on the faucet, running cool water and splashed her face, rubbing the black smudges away, hoping to hide any evidence of crying. She blew her nose once more and reapplied some lipstick. With her back straight, she walked back to the table and slid into her chair. William looked as though he was going to be sick.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” she smiled. “It is.”
“I apologize,” William said, his voice full of remorse.
“No,” she stopped him. “I’m sorry for running away like that. I have a confession to make.”
It was William’s turn to wait for her to continue.
“I, I wanted you to ask me out. I would stand a few feet from your locker and wait to see if you’d talk to me. I’d tell myself that if you liked me, you’d talk to me if I was standing right there.”
“No!” he gasped.