“What the hell, James? Now I’m being grounded ‘cause I yelled a little? I’m sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear, you bastard?” I sat back down and crossed my arms over my chest. They weren’t getting rid of me that easily.
“Lucy, we can discuss this later. Right now, I think it’s best that you try to get some sleep. This is not a punishment. We’re simply looking out for you. Adam will walk you back and stay with you until I get there.”
At this directive, Adam gently curled his hand around my arm and pulled me closer to him, guiding me toward the door. I tried to shake him off but couldn’t. His grip was too strong, and I knew if I fought him, I’d only end up being carried away forcefully. “We’re gonna fix this, Lucy. I know you don’t really feel it now, but you’ve gotta have a little faith in us. Now go rest.”
We were silent on the way back to my Dwelling. I couldn’t believe the bastard actually kicked me out, and then sent this brute as a babysitter to make sure I stayed a good little girl. I was fuming, and all I wanted to do was cry. The anger mostly receded, and once again I was hollow.
I opened the door to my Dwelling and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over me as the tears began once again to flow. Frenchie hopped up on the bed next to me and cuddled into my side. Adam flipped the desk chair around before he took a seat, but didn’t say anything or offer comfort in any way. After a few minutes, I peeked my head out to see if he left. Maybe the sound of girls crying made him uncomfortable enough to want to leave.
He was still sitting in exactly the same position, backwards straddling the chair with arms crossed on top of the backrest. He tossed me a box of tissues, and I gave him a small smile.
“Lucy, you know I’m not one for blowing smoke or sharing feelings, right?”
I eyed him suspiciously, wondering where he was going with this. “Yeah, so?”
“I’m worried about you. We all are. I think the vampires did something to you. You haven’t been the same since you’ve been back.”
I scoffed. “Would you be? If you’d been tortured, been a meal for weeks, and then had the love of your life ripped away from you? What if it had been Cassie?”
“There’s more to this, Lucy. You’re all over the place. One minute, you’re seething in anger and shaking so bad you’d think you were in the Arctic with no coat, the next minute you’re crying so hard I wanna scoop you up and hug you for a year. But before I can, you shake it off and try to be strong and act like nothing is going wrong. Do you see how we might be a little concerned?”
“I think you’re exaggerating a bit here. I’m not that bad.” I balled up the tissue I was holding and hid it, like evidence of the things he was accusing me of.
“Lucy, I want you to do me a favor, okay?”
His tone was so overly sweet I rolled my eyes. “What is it?”
“I want you to look at yourself in the mirror.”
“What?” If I imagined all the favors he was going to ask me, this wouldn’t have even made my top 1,000. “Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously.”
I huffed, keeping to myself how stupid this was since he’d made his opinion of my attitude clear. “Fine, whatever.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“So you want me to look in the mirror? What exactly is that going to accomplish?” I knew Adam could hear the bite to my tone, and I didn’t care. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he nodded for me to get on with it. I huffed loudly to make sure he knew this was stupid and ridiculous, but went to the armoire that included a full-length mirror inside the door and opened it.
I drew a sharp intake of air seeing the horrifying image before me. My hands shook, terrified that the image projected was really me. “How long have I looked like this?”
I couldn’t believe the image I saw before me. My once bright blue eyes were now almost completely black. The iris nearly disappeared, leaving a tiny sliver of blue on the outside edge. The image reflected back to me looked evil, pure and simple. There was malice swirling in my eyes, and I was frightened that I could have that in me.
I wanted this to be a joke, with hidden cameras shoved inside my stuffed bear and for Cassie ready to pop out and yell “gotcha!”, but I knew it wasn’t. That angered me. It enraged me to think that I could have changed into something I despised, and knowing that they all knew—they KNEW I looked like this and kept it from me made me see red.
As I stood, still staring at myself in the mirror, I saw the small amount of blue that remained in my eyes recede and now they resembled black holes or hollow orbs. This only further enraged me. I was furious that I was losing every piece of myself and couldn’t seem to do anything to stop it. I balled my hands into fists and wanted to cry.
“Luce.” Adam’s hand lightly brushed my shoulder, like he wanted to comfort me but wasn’t sure he should. “You can’t let it take control. You have to fight it. I don’t know what’s happening to you, but I know you’re stronger than this.”
My lip quivered. I knew he was right, but that knowledge terrified me at the same time. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, focusing instead on the love I knew my team felt for me. When my eyes flickered open again and I stared back into the mirror, the blue returned slightly. This gave me hope, and the ball of nerves currently residing in my stomach loosened a fraction of an inch.
“What do I do?” I whispered, afraid if I spoke too loud I would cause it to wake up and take over again—whatever the “it” was.
“We keep you calm. It seems to be worse when you get upset.”
“Has everyone seen this? How long has this been happening?” I covered my face with my hands, now horribly embarrassed.
“It’s been getting progressively worse. James was the first to notice when you blew up at the meeting a few weeks ago. But that stuff isn’t what’s important right now. We need to keep you, well, you for as long as possible. So, I put some music onto your iPod—Jewel, Norah Jones, Adele, and some other sappy chick stuff. Go and take a bubble bath. That always mellows Cassie out.”
The thought of the warm water with lavender and vanilla scented bubbles surrounding me as I relaxed in the candlelight and listened to music sounded like the best idea ever. When I nodded, Adam stood up and went to the door. “I’m going to wait in the living room. Take your time. I’ll be here if you need anything.”
*****
I wanted nothing more than to take a bubble bath, but my nagging mind wouldn’t let me relax until I knew what was happening with the rest of the team. It wasn’t like Cassie to keep things from me, so that tipped me off that something was very, very wrong.
I waited a few minutes and cracked the door, just an inch to make sure the hallway was clear. I heard the football game in the living room and knew that Adam was engrossed, so I slipped out my bedroom window, clinging to the ledge before effortlessly dropping the two flights to the ground. I tucked my body to absorb the impact, glad that as a Patronus such a fall would barely register a pain level. Once outside, I hurried into the woods and used my bracelet to gain access to the rear entrance to the Gideon facility. As soon as I entered, I could hear voices.
Taking a deep breath, I took two steps forward before slinking down into a squat. The voices were clearer now, and I held my hand over my mouth when I heard what they had to say.
“This has got to be the last straw, James,” Cassie said. “I am really worried, and it’s only getting worse. We have to do something. Have you seen her eyes? We’re losing her!”
“We’ve all witnessed her since she’s been back,” Lola agreed. “I’m afraid Cassie’s right. If for no other reason than her own protection.”
“Tell me what you’ve seen, Marco. When she goes off like that, what’s happening in her head? Maybe that can help us figure out how to fix this.”
A chair squeaked, presumably Marco standing up. I knew whatever he was about to say was bad, and my shoulders hunched, fearing the worst.
“I’ve been watching her closely over the
last week, trying to assess the situation. I noticed it when she first got back, but couldn’t quite put my finger on what was wrong.”
“What do you mean?” Cassie’s voice was tight, and I knew her blood was boiling. “You’ve known the whole time that something is wrong and you didn’t say a word? You kept it to yourself instead of coming to us so we could have figured this out sooner?”
“Cassie—” James warned.
I slid my body a few more inches, desperate to see what was going on. I tilted my head until I had a view of the room where the rest of the team gathered. Cassie smoothed her skirt down and closed her eyes to regain her composure.
“Twenty-four years with Daddy taught me to bite my tongue against the absurdities of men. So I won’t comment with what I wanted to say.” She paused. “You were sayin?” She looked at him sweetly and urged him to continue.
Marco chuckled, obviously reading her thoughts based on the look on his face, but didn’t comment. “When she first arrived back here, I could tell that something was off. Her thoughts had always been so clear, like spring water in a stream. But now they’re murky, polluted. Something is tainting her, and I’m having a harder time weeding through the muck to read her. The most intriguing part is the ebb and flow of it all.”
“What do you mean?”
Marco thought for a minute. “Think of it like a red sock in a wash full of whites. Her thoughts were once all white and clear, but now every once in a while something injects a red sock into them, muddying everything up. That’s when she has an outburst. But then, the red drops of dye get diluted, and her thoughts become clear again. Except they’re not as clear, now they’re slightly pink. Whatever the dye was is still there, and with every new drop of red dye, the more stained she becomes. Every outburst leaves her once-clear thoughts darker and darker.”
Lola took a sharp breath in beside Cassie and James closed his eyes, leaning his head against the wall. Zander, never one to take things at face value or accept fate without a fight, spoke up. “So what kind of bleach can we throw on her to take the stains away?”
Cassie smiled and I knew why. This boy was something else. He cut right to the heart of the matter and was fiercely optimistic. Wow, was that an admirable quality.
“Zander, I think you’re quickly becoming one of my favorite people,” Cassie told him. He blushed a deep shade of red and Marco choked on a laugh. Now what was that thought, I wondered.
“Zander, you’re exactly right. There has to be something we can do to get her back. But first we need to figure out what’s causing this. Is it some sort of after effect from the vampires? Did they give her something, or do something to her? Right now, I’m afraid she’s a danger to herself, or us. I’m going to quarantine her until we have this figured out, and someone will have to stay with her to make sure she doesn’t attempt escape.”
Elizabeth spoke up. “Do you think it’s possible to use her somehow? To lead us to the vampires maybe?”
James shook his head and steepled his fingers. “I don’t think that’s the best way to go about this right now. I can’t run the risk of doing more damage, or if—God forbid—she is being used by them, I can’t have her leaking information to them. Cassie—”
“You don’t even need to ask. Of course I’ll stay with her. Now gettin’ her to stay put might be a problem. I can only give so many mani/pedi’s a day before she’s gonna get suspicious.”
“You’re right, Cassie. We won’t be able to fool her for long.” James sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands. He was as frustrated as we were.
“Should we tell her that we’re keeping her locked up? I mean, if we tell her what’s going on, as long as she’s in her right mind she’ll understand. She’d be mortified if she ended up doing something that would endanger the team.”
“Cassie’s right,” Lola agreed. “We need to be up front about this. She’ll only resent us if we keep her in the dark. She’s strong, everything she’s ever done has told me that she can handle this. We need to trust her to do that.”
James sighed. “It’s not her I’m worried about trusting. It’s whatever is inside her. Whatever is causing this. What if she isn’t even in control anymore? We won’t know until we find out more information.”
“Y’all leave that to me. I’m fixin’ to pull so much information out of that girl, you’ll think I’m a G-man!”
The room erupted in laughter. Cassie stood up, ready to start her mission. “I know Adam is with her now and is supposed to be talking to her, but if you want a job done right, you don’t send a man. Bless his heart, I knew he’d try, but this is a task made for a best friend.”
“Hey, Cassie,” James stopped her as I headed out the door and I scrambled to hide in an empty room. “You ever notice how Southern you become when you’re worked up?” She humphed at him, irritated that he was making fun of her. “No, no. It’s not a bad thing. It’s cute. Adam must love that.”
“Well, I certainly get worked up enough by him. I swear, that ‘good ol boy’ thinks it’s still the 19th century. Lord knows I love that man like crazy, if he prattles on about gettin’ behind him when there’s danger one more time…” she paused, as though just now remembering her whole purpose for leaving. “Alright, I’m going to see Lucy. I’ll report back in a little while what I find out.”
She gave a little wave to the team as I headed out, but then got serious as she threw open the doors with force. Before they closed, I heard her last words. “No one takes advantage of my best friend and lives to tell about it. I’ll get her back. And then those creatures will have to deal with me.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
As soon as the coast was clear, I flew out the door and back to my room. I climbed a tree and hoisted myself up the last story, my toes barely scaling the wall, but I managed to make it through the window and into my bedroom. I quickly slipped out of my clothes and into a fluffy robe before tiptoeing into the bathroom. I could hear Cassie come in the front door, but she and Adam were talking quietly and I didn’t think they’d bother checking on me for a while, so I relaxed and decided to enjoy the bath instead of dwelling on what just happened. I could process that later.
After pouring a healthy amount of bubble bath in the water, I lit a few of my favorite candles. I grabbed my iPod and dipped a toe in the water. It was perfect: warm but not scalding. I slid my entire body in and let out an audible “ahhh.” I hadn’t let go of any of my stress, anxiety, or nerves since New Orleans, and my body was tired from carrying it all. Each inch that my body sunk into the water, my muscles relaxed. I didn’t even realize how coiled everything was until it loosened a bit. I needed this. I needed to unwind and recharge, and this was perfect.
Leaning my head against the soft bath pillow, I closed my eyes and lost myself in the moment. I don’t know how long I stayed that way, but eventually the door opened a crack. I jumped, startled thinking Adam would walk in, but Cassie’s face peeked inside. “Can I come in for a sec, sweetie?”
I took the ear-buds out and nodded. Cassie breezed in and sat on the back edge of the tub. “Adam told me you two talked tonight. This is the bluest I’ve seen your eyes in days. Are you feeling any better?”
“Right now? Yeah.” I sighed loudly.
“What is it?”
“It’s just…I feel great now. But how long will that last? And what do I do when I blow up again? It’s not like I can stay in this bathtub forever.” I dunked my head under the water and blew out all my air, but Cassie pulled me back up.
“Do you honestly think that I have not devised an ingenious plan to save you, Max, Jessica, and the world already?” She winked at me, scooped up a handful of bubbles, and blew them back at me.
“You’ve got this all in the bag already, do you? So glad you’re taking care of it so I can sit back and enjoy this bath. Tell me, oh great one, what’s your master plan?” I flicked a few drops of water at her playfully.
“Okay, maybe my ingenious plan is still in the works, but I’m
pretty confident it’s gonna rock. C’mon, get out of there. I have a present I think you’ll like.” We laughed, and Cassie stood up to hand me a towel so I could get out. She left me to get dressed, and I met her and Adam in the living room area a few minutes later.
He handed me a salted caramel macchiato and I hummed in delight when I smelled the sweet aroma. After settling in on the corner of the couch, I took a few sips and pulled at the fringed edges of a worn throw blanket as Frenchie snored softly in the corner.
“So now what?” My voice was barely above a whisper. I was extremely nervous now that all eyes were on mine. I could see them waiting for me to explode, like I was a ticking bomb.
Tick, tick, tick—boom!
They were afraid of me, I knew it. They thought I wasn’t good enough to be one of them anymore. They thought this was my fault! Those no good…
“Lucy, you’re fading away from us again, sweetie,” Cassie called, stepping closer and sitting next to me on the couch. “Take a sip of your coffee. It’s your favorite, you’ll feel much better.”
I did as she requested, closing my eyes so they couldn’t see the blackness anymore. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know how to control it. But I’m trying. I promise.”
“We know, hun. I think that the first thing we need to do is figure out exactly what it is, and then we’ll have a better idea on how to deal with everything.” She turned to face me more on the couch. “Tell me what it feels like, when whatever it is starts taking over, explain to me what’s happening in your head.”
I took a deep breath and calculated the right words to describe it. I hadn’t really thought of it before, but now I sat for a few moments to analyze everything the words wouldn’t come. So I let myself feel angry, and used the feelings to find the words. “It’s like a thick fog rolls in, clouding any optimistic or happy thought I could have. I get angry, and bitter. I want to hurt things—anything. The fog gets thicker and thicker until it’s almost palpable and I could suffocate in it. I want to fight through it, but there’s nothing for me to do. It takes over and consumes every desire until all I can feel is hatred for myself and everything around me. It’s like….it’s like evil is corroding me.”
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