The Secret

by Stella Gray

At the same moment I realized it, Gavin leaned in to kiss me.

  I didn’t know what to do. I’d wanted this before, when I’d wondered if Gavin would be a better match for me than my arranged spouse. Without even consciously realizing it, I found my eyes fluttering closed.

  As soon as our mouths touched, with the softest brush of dry lips, I knew that it wasn’t what I wanted anymore.

  I pulled back gently, not wanting to make a scene, especially in the crowded restaurant.

  “I’m sorry,” I told him. “I can’t. I’m married. You know that. We—we can’t do this.”

  Even though I was trying to smile, he looked like I’d just doused him in cold water.

  “I don’t care. This wasn’t the plan when I first…god damn it.” He stopped and shook his head. It seemed like he wanted to confess something, but he stopped struggling for words and switched gears. “I feel things for you, Tori. And if you feel things too, we can work this out.”

  I wasn’t used to this: having two men that wanted me. I was completely out of my depth, but even though I didn’t want to hurt Gavin, I knew that I was committed to Stefan.

  Looking into Gavin’s eyes again, I rested a hand on his arm.

  This was all my fault. I’d flirted with him like crazy at the club that night, and then continued to encourage him in the text messages we’d exchanged while I’d been figuring out where things stood with Stefan. It hadn’t been intentional—I’d been genuinely confused about my feelings—but there was no excuse for the fact that I’d put my friend in the middle of my marriage, made him think that maybe we had a chance when we didn’t. At least, not anymore.

  “The truth is…I do feel things,” I confessed. “For Stefan. I love my husband.”

  It was the first time I had said those words out loud. I felt a rush of conflicting emotions. I felt scared and lonely, but also empowered. Confident. Because now I knew what I wanted.

  And what I wanted wasn’t here.

  I watched the hopeful light in Gavin’s eyes fade.

  “I’m sorry,” I told him gently, giving his shoulder a final squeeze.

  Carefully, I turned and slid off my stool and then made my way through the crowd of people eating and laughing around us. Now that I knew how I felt, I was desperate to leave. I shouldn’t be here, with Gavin. I should be at home, with my husband.

  I should be telling him how I felt.

  Stefan

  Chapter 24

  I paced the living room, waiting for Tori to come home. Even though I had promised I would tell her when she was being followed, at times like these I was glad I’d become good at keeping secrets. Especially from her.

  Though I’d considered pulling Dmitri out now that my wife and I had grown closer, in the end I’d decided to keep the security detail on her. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Tori—I just didn’t trust other people with her.

  It was too dangerous out there, especially now that she was part of my world. I felt better knowing she was being watched considering the people I associated with through my work, and that went double for the people who associated with my father. The business we were involved in wasn’t one synonymous with safety.

  And then there was my father himself. He had shown what kind of man he was when he’d crossed a line with Tori the other night. I wasn’t going to take any chances now. I wasn’t going to let history repeat itself. Nobody was going to lay a hand on my wife.

  Still, I felt a small twinge of guilt for not being completely forthright with Tori. I knew she would be upset if she found out. But ensuring her safety was well worth her anger.

  It was almost eleven, but I told myself I didn’t need to worry. After all, she had texted earlier to let me know she would be home late, and I knew her favorite library on campus was open all night long. It was completely conceivable that she was still studying, or catching up with the school friends she hadn’t been seeing as much lately. On top of that, Dmitri had been keeping tabs on her all day and the last I’d heard, she was still with her study group.

  Suddenly, my phone started vibrating with a barrage of incoming texts. As I scrolled through the photos downloading onto my screen, I felt a shock of adrenaline. Then dismay. And then outrage. The pictures Dmitri was sending were of Tori—and Gavin. They were at a crowded restaurant, but their bodies were so close they could have been fucking. Their heads were leaning close, their lips a breath apart. Tori’s eyes were closed, Gavin’s hand on her arm.

  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and I didn’t know what to think. I was completely caught off-guard. I had thought the two of us were finally getting somewhere. We had been communicating—and connecting—like never before. Not just in the bedroom, but out of it as well. And now here she was, cheating on me behind my back? With this smug asshole?

  My hand curled into a fist seeing his face again. I knew it was inevitable that he’d make his way back into Tori’s life, considering they were good friends and classmates. But something about him was off, and it wasn’t just the way he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants around my wife, or the fact that he’d been with her at the club the night she’d been drugged. He was hiding something. I didn’t know what it was, or what he might be lying about, but there was something about him that I didn’t trust.

  I texted Dmitri back, demanding more updates. His response was that Tori had gotten in a cab and was heading home. Without Gavin. Dmitri, being the professional he was, had then sent me a picture of Gavin standing on the street by himself looking dejected.

  It did little to calm my fury.

  I continued pacing around the condo, knowing she’d be home any minute, my anger growing stronger with each passing moment. By the time I heard her key turn in the lock, I was practically vibrating with fury. I stormed into the foyer, flipping the bright light on overhead.

  “Where the fuck have you been?” I demanded.

  She had one chance to come clean. To tell me the truth. But just one.

  “I was studying,” she said, but her eyes shifted down, avoiding my gaze.

  “Don’t give me that bullshit,” I seethed. “I know where you’ve been. And I know who you’ve been with.”

  Looking up at me, she glared. “Because you’ve been tracking me through my phone? Because you don’t trust me?”

  “Why should I trust you when you just lied to me?”

  She folded her arms. “If you were tracking my phone, you’d know I spent most of the day at the library. Studying.”

  “We both know that’s not all you were doing,” I ground out, as visions of her and Gavin kissing flashed through my mind.

  “Fine!” she said. “I stopped for pizza before I came home. I didn’t eat all day. If I was doing something inappropriate, don’t you think I would have turned my phone off?”

  “You’re going to stand there and tell me kissing another man isn’t appropriate?” I sneered. I pulled out my phone and showed her the pictures Dmitri had texted me.

  Gasping, she ripped the phone out of my grasp.

  “You still have someone following me?” she said, before slamming my phone down so hard on the entry table that she had probably shattered the screen. “You said you’d tell me when I was being watched. You lied to me! I can’t believe you.”

  Shaking her head with disgust, she pushed past me, heading for the bedroom.

  I reached out to grab her, but she rounded on me, shoving her finger into my chest.

  “You’re such an asshole,” she said, shoving me backward. “You look at this one moment, this one instance, and decide it’s everything. Aren’t you the one who’s always telling me that ‘not everything is what it seems’? You’re a fucking hypocrite, Stefan.”

  “Me?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You’re kissing some asshole and I’m the hypocrite? We’re still married, or did you forget that small detail?”

  “How could I forget?” Tori demanded. “You never let me forget what this is, and what I mean to you. How I’m something y
ou own.”

  “That’s not what this is,” I tried to say, but she wasn’t done.

  “Gavin did kiss me tonight,” she said, her voice turning to steel. “But I pushed him away right after. Which you would have known if you’d just fucking asked instead of standing there accusing me like this.”

  Despite her explanation, I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

  “You expect me to believe that?” I said. “You’ve been hanging all over him this entire semester. And you’ve spent every waking minute with him ever since school started.”

  “He’s my classmate!” she shot back.

  I scoffed. “You can’t expect me to believe that. He was at the club with you that night. He made a claim for you then, did you know that? Said he wouldn’t have to drug you to get you into bed with him.”

  Her eyes went wide. “He said that?”

  “It’s obvious he’s into you. He’s made no secret of that, and still you hang out with him. Why should I believe that you would turn him down now that he’s finally made his move?”

  “Because I’m in love with you, you idiot!” Tori shouted at me.

  The words hung between us like an invisible wall.

  I was blown away.

  I had never dared to believe that Tori could love me. Especially with all the secrets I had—all the ones she knew, and all the ones I was still keeping from her. But she did. And I could tell from the look in her eyes that she meant it. That she truly did love me. Despite everything. Or maybe even because of it.

  I speechless.

  We both just stood there for a moment, staring at each other, both of us breathing hard. I didn’t know what to say.

  Tori’s eyes filled with tears and I could tell that she was taking my silence as a rejection, when I was really just struggling to process how quickly everything had just changed between us. Now that she had said the words out loud, now that she had confessed her feelings and the enormity of them, I realized what a fool I had been.

  I should have trusted her. All this time, I should have trusted her with my secrets. With everything I had been keeping from her. Everything I had been afraid to share with her.

  She started backing away from me, and I grabbed her by the arms and pulled her close.

  “Tori.”

  Now was the time to be honest with her. To tell her everything. To share my life with her completely.

  She was looking up at me, blinking back her tears, trying to be strong. Just like always. My wife was so strong. I gazed into her eyes, overwhelmed by everything I felt, unable to believe that this was truly real. That someone like her could truly love me.

  But she did. I knew she did.

  I leaned down and I kissed her. I kissed her with everything I had pent up inside. For a moment, she was stiff in my arms, but then she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back. It was a kiss full of passion and love. Of everything I wanted. Everything I needed.

  My hands skimmed her shoulders, her neck, then came up to cup the sides of her face gently. I kissed her more deeply, wanting to show her exactly how I felt. But I knew it wouldn’t be enough. I couldn’t just show her.

  It took everything in my power to stop kissing her, but I did, slowly pulling back so I could look at her strong, beautiful face. She looked up at me, the question evident in her eyes. Finally, the words found their way out of my mouth.

  “I love you too,” I told her.

  Tori

  Chapter 25

  They were only three words, but they had changed everything. Now that Stefan and I had fully and honestly admitted our feelings for one another, there was a palpable shift between us. I could hardly believe it. I had broken down his walls. He had finally let me in.

  Every kiss felt more charged than ever. Deeper, more affirming, more connected. Even his touch was more intense, his hands both tender and undeniably electric against my skin. It was as if the second Stefan had let down his guard, he’d allowed himself to become more passionate. Everything was more. We’d had this invisible barrier between us all this time, but suddenly, with these words of love, I could sense that it was gone.

  There was no going back now—only forward. Together.

  As I lost myself in his kiss, I could feel his love radiating throughout every inch of my body. I never wanted it to stop. And I wasn’t just turned on by the look in Stefan’s gaze, the way he was holding me so tight. In his arms, I knew with certainty that my husband wanted me, he loved me, and he was claiming me as his—and his alone.

  Adrenaline was still racing through my system from our fight, and Stefan’s jealousy about Gavin had made me hotter than I’d ever thought possible. The way his green eyes had flashed with passion and rage had aroused me even as I was yelling at him. Who knew that Stefan’s possessiveness would be an added bonus to our sex life?

  It almost made me glad that he had been spying on me. That my dinner with Gavin had pushed Stefan over the edge, pushed him to confess how he truly felt about me. He might never have revealed that he loved me if he hadn’t been motivated by the sight of that almost-kiss.

  Not only that, but I knew without a doubt that my safety had been the reason for the bodyguard. Just one more way my husband was trying to protect me. I couldn’t really be mad that he’d wanted to keep an eye on me. If anything, I could see now that it had brought us closer together. Had shown me the true motivation behind his possessiveness and control issues.

  And now that I knew Stefan had been acting out of love, out of desire, it was even hotter to be with him. I wanted to give myself to him completely. Not just my body, but my heart as well. I couldn’t deny my feelings for Stefan, and with this new honesty between us, I wouldn’t have to any more. I could tell him I loved him whenever I wanted. And so I did. Between kisses, I whispered the words, wanting to hear them back, shivering with pleasure when he did.

  I could even see the love he felt for me in his eyes. I had never imagined I would feel such passion for one person, or that my feelings would be returned in kind.

  My heart raced as Stefan led me toward the bedroom. His touch was gentle, his hands at my waist, in no rush to undress me. But I wanted him badly. I wanted him now.

  I also wanted to be sure that he fully understood that I was his, that I was ready to submit to him—to be his and his alone. There had to be a way I could show him that. Not just with my words, but with my actions. With my body.

  Pulling back from his kiss, I gave him a wicked smile. Curiosity and excitement lit his face as I began tugging his shirt out of his pants, unbuckling his belt. I could feel his cock straining against the zipper and my mouth practically watered. I knew what I was going to do to him, and I could hardly wait.

  But despite my excitement and my eagerness to please him, my hands still shook as I unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down. I was overwhelmed with emotion for him and with my desire to bring him pleasure, but I was still new to this. I knew how naïve and inexperienced I must seem compared to the other more experienced women he had been with.

  I hoped he would see it as a turn on. As proof that I was his. That I was ready and willing to bend to his will, give myself to him completely and totally.

  Pulling his cock out, I sank to my knees and locked eyes with him as he slid his clothes to our bedroom floor. He was hot and hard in my grip and I couldn’t wait to show him how I felt. With my hands. My mouth. My tongue.

  Stefan groaned as I dragged my tongue over the head of his cock, tasting him. His fingers tangled in my hair, holding me tight against him as I wrapped my wet lips around his shaft. I started sucking, softly at first. Loving the way he began to guide me up and down his cock, showing me the rhythm he wanted. The rhythm he needed.

  I took him as deep as I could, opening my mouth wide, relaxing my throat to take all of him as far back as possible. His grip became hard and rough and I absolutely loved it as he began to thrust inside my mouth. The thought of what he was doing to me, what I was doing to him, drove me wild
. I could feel how wet I was already. I moaned a little, knowing he would feel the vibrations in his cock, that it would turn him on even more.

  Clutching his hips to keep myself balanced, I looked up at him again. I wanted him to enjoy the sight of my wide blue eyes and the view of his cock pumping in and out of my mouth as I kneeled in front of him.

  There was nothing but passion, desire, and love in his gaze. The muscles in his jaw were tense and I knew I was doing everything right. I smiled around his cock, loving the control I had over him. Loving how I could tease him and tempt him with my mouth. With my body.

  I swirled my tongue up his length and over the soft skin of his head, and then added my hand, pumping his shaft with long, tight strokes that followed the movement of my mouth. I made his cock wet, just like he’d taught me, knowing that my pussy was just as soaked and ready for him. I wanted him so badly, but I wasn’t ready to stop pleasuring him yet.

  Before I knew what was happening, though, Stefan was pulling me up, dragging me back to my feet in front of him. I wanted to protest, but his mouth crashed onto mine, silencing any words I might have spoken. As he kissed me, his hands started tugging off my clothes and the shirt he was still wearing. I loved the way his hot, unclothed body felt against mine, the hard muscles beneath my hands as he stripped me bare, the smooth slide of his skin beneath my palms. Still, I wasn’t done with him. The moment we were both naked, I began to kneel in front of him again, needing his cock in my mouth. Needing to taste him more.

  But before I could, I was tossed onto the bed like I weighed nothing at all. Stefan followed me down onto the sheets, but instead of positioning his cock at my entrance, he settled himself between my legs, his mouth kissing up between my thighs.

  I cried out as he licked my pussy, the wetness and heat almost too much for me to handle. He gripped my ass in his hands, holding me in place while he fucked me with his tongue, thrusting it hard inside of me, nearly making me come right away. It felt so good and so intense, but I wanted more. I tried to pull him up toward me, clawing at his shoulders, but when he started to move, it was to position himself beside me, his mouth never leaving my pussy.