A Family For Ronnie (Harlequin Treasury 1990's)

by Julie Caille

  Alicia opened her mouth to protest, anger roiling inside her, then she shut it again. They needed to discuss the situation like rational, intelligent adults, not like bickering children. Indulging her temper would achieve nothing.

  “Look,” she said, sinking back into her chair, “we have to come to some agreement on this. We’ve got to consider what’s best for Ronnie, and we’ve got to decide soon, because of the school issue.” She paused and drew in a breath. “What kind of school did you enroll him in?”

  Luke dragged a chair around the corner of the table and straddled it backward. “A damn good public one,” he said. “If you don’t believe me, you can ask around. Brown Elementary is just three years old, with great facilities. They’ve got two rooms chock-full of computers for the kids.”

  “And the test scores compared with other schools?”

  “High. I’ve got all that information upstairs. I knew it’d be the first thing you’d ask.”

  His sardonic tone reminded her of one reason they’d split up, the wedge that had shattered their relationship into irreconcilable pieces. But whether Luke liked it or not, they both knew that when Caroline and Richard had come to Houston to start their own law firm, they had planned to enroll their son in a private school.

  “No matter where he lives, I think we ought to consider private schooling,” she said in a low voice.

  “This is a good school, Alicia. Ronnie wants to go there because that’s where Brian goes.”

  “Brian?”

  “Sharon’s son.”

  “Ronnie can make other friends. Caroline and Richard sent him to a private kindergarten—”

  “Because of where they lived. It’s different here. This school system is one of the best.”

  “The schools where I live are also among the best.”

  He regarded her narrowly, the piercing gray of his eyes reminding her that he, too, had a temper. “Personally, I think we should consider Ronnie’s wishes.”

  Her eyes widened. “Are you suggesting we should let him choose between us?”

  “Why not? The question seemed flippant, calculated to wound.

  “Because it’s not a choice that a little boy should have to make! Besides...”

  “Besides what?”

  It was all she could do to keep the desperation from her voice. “Well, it wouldn’t be fair! He knows you better than he knows me, so of course he’d pick you.”

  “And whose fault is that? You couldn’t be bothered to come visit him, could you? Not until now, of course, when you feel obligated and guilty.”

  Alicia flinched. His very tone was an insult, but before she could defend herself, the VCR in the other room shut off. Ronnie came around the corner into the kitchen.

  “You missed the end, Uncle Luke. Luke Skywalker blew up the Death Star.”

  “Did he, squirt?” Luke’s hostility vanished in the blink of an eye. “Guess we’ll have to rewind and watch it again.”

  “Right now?”

  “No, right now I want you to spend some time with your aunt. Maybe you could show her your artwork.”

  Ronnie looked up at Alicia. “You want to see it?” he asked, sounding doubtful.

  “Of course I do,” she said with a composure she did not feel. “What kind of artwork do you do?”

  “I’ve been drawing dinosaurs. Luke got me a book on how to draw ‘em.”

  “That sounds like great fun.”

  Avoiding Luke’s eyes, she rose and held out her hand, but Ronnie was already turning away. “You have to come up to my room ‘cuz I’ve been taping ‘em to my walls. Luke said I could,” he added quickly, as if expecting her to disapprove.

  Ronnie’s room overflowed with toys. There were toys on the dresser, on the bed, on the floor. Bits and pieces of unidentifiable items were strewn across every available surface. Luke must have transferred every plaything the child had ever owned, she thought, stepping carefully through the obstacle course.

  Ronnie picked up a plastic sword and began stabbing the air. “This is my lightsaber,” he said dispassionately.

  Alicia cleared a spot on the bed and sat down, watching him slice at an imaginary enemy. After a few moments, she reached for a black-and-white stuffed dog near her feet. “Who’s this?”

  The child glanced over his shoulder. “That’s Snoofy.” Dropping the sword, he took the dog from her and hugged it. “Daddy bought him for me when we went to Galveston.”

  “He must be very special then,” she said gently. Tenderness welled up inside her as he kissed the dog on the nose. Ronnie was so sweet, so young and helpless and innocent. Of course they must do what was best for this child—anything else would be unthinkable. “I see some of those drawings you were telling me about,” she said, glancing around at the walls. “They’re wonderful, Ronnie.”

  He turned and surveyed his handiwork. “That’s Tyrannosaurus Rex,” he informed her, pointing at the one over his bookcase. “And that’s Allosaurus, and that’s Brontosaurus, and that’s...”

  She watched the fluctuations of his features while he identified each reptile. He might have inherited Caroline’s fair coloring, but he had his father’s expressiveness and gestures. Without warning, the throbbing ache in Alicia’s chest returned. Oh, Caroline, why? Why did you have to go?

  “Guess which one is my favorite,” Ronnie said.

  “I don’t know. That one?” She pointed to Tyrannosaurus rex.

  “Right. How’d you know?”

  “Because,” she teased, “he has the biggest teeth.”

  He stared at the drawing. “Sometimes,” he said slowly, “I dream that he’s coming to get me. Then he’s not my favorite.”

  “I should think not. What a scary dream!” Alicia hesitated, unsure of what to say next. “Do you wake up when that happens?”

  Ronnie’s shoulders rose in a slight shrug. “Sometimes. Last time, Luke let me get in bed with him.” His voice wobbled slightly. “No dinosaurs can get me there.”

  Without an instant’s hesitation, Alicia gathered him into a hug. “They can’t get you no matter where you are,” she told him. “Dinosaurs are extinct, Ronnie. You understand that, don’t you? You understand you’re safe?”

  “Yes.” For a fraction of a second, he allowed her to hold him, then he wriggled free and retrieved his sword.

  Just then she heard Luke coming up the stairs, and immediate tension swept through her, tying her stomach into knots. Damn. Was it going to be this way every time she saw him? She had to get her emotions under control or living here, even temporarily, was going to be a nightmare.

  A moment later, Luke’s broad shoulders filled the doorway. His gaze touched on Alicia, wandered over the mess, then returned to her face. “We need to find a place for all this stuff,” he commented. “I’m planning to build some shelves in the closet.”

  Alicia’s chin lifted. “That’s an excellent idea. It will be so much nicer for Ronnie to have his things organized.” While he’s here, she added silently.

  As if he’d read her mind, Luke’s jaw tightened. “Good. You can help. You might as well make yourself useful.”

  While you’re here, was the implication.

  She smiled sweetly. “I’d be glad to. I have no intention of sitting around with my feet up.”

  If possible, his expression grew even more surly. “Good,” he repeated. “Because I have no intention of treating you as a guest.”

  * * *

  Muttering a string of colorful curses beneath his breath, Luke stomped back downstairs. He didn’t even know why he’d bothered to go up there. The confounded woman had been in his house barely two hours and he already needed a stiff drink. How did she manage to make him feel in the wrong so damn easily? That had always been the problem with her. She’d made him feel wrong, unreasonable and selfish when all he’d ever tried to do was to plan for the future.

  Their future, once upon a time.

  Ha. Thank heaven the only future they’d shared had been separate. Wi
th the passing of years, he’d gained enough maturity to realize that her views had had merit, but he was in no mood to acknowledge that at the moment. Right now, he was just plain aggravated—with her and himself and this whole situation.

  It had never even occurred to him that she would want the boy. He didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of it; he just hadn’t. Heck, she’d been married for five years and never had any children of her own. He’d assumed it was because she hadn’t wanted them, that she’d considered her career too important to allow pregnancy and motherhood to interfere. As far as he could remember, she’d never shown any sign of wanting kids. Not his kids, anyway. He’d mentioned it once, the summer they had dated, but to his disappointment she hadn’t expressed any interest.

  Scowling, he walked into the living room and threw himself into an armchair. Dated. The word sounded too tame to describe the sizzle he remembered. He should have known better than to get involved with the daughter of two university professors. He should have known that their romance was doomed from the start, that their destinies lay in different directions. He could never have lived up to Alicia’s expectations of him, any more than he could have borne for her to know his secret.

  The best thing he could do was forget the past. He should concentrate on getting along with Alicia so they could help Ronnie get through this difficult period in his life. One of them would have to take on the role of parent. Was Alicia up to that kind of responsibility? He knew he was. In fact, he had a pretty accurate idea what he was getting himself into.

  Luke stared at the wall, the events of the past two years unfolding like a movie through his head. First there had been his brother and sister-in-law’s move to Houston to start their own law firm. Richard and Caroline had been ambitious people, and both had worked almost constantly toward the fulfillment of their goal. Although they had unquestionably loved their son, Luke had often felt that the needs of the law firm had taken priority over the needs of the child. All too often it had fallen to Luke to see that Ronnie lived a normal childhood. On countless weekends, Luke had transported Ronnie from Richard’s house to his own home on Friday afternoons and then returned him on Sunday evenings. He’d played with Ronnie, taken him swimming and fishing and camping, let him hang out at the store. Until three weeks ago, when the tragic accident had changed everything, Luke had functioned almost as a third parent. Was it really so unreasonable of him to expect to continue in that role?

  He jumped up and started to pace. What it boiled down to was that he loved the kid. He would make him a good father—at least he’d believed that until Alicia had arrived. Somehow her presence reminded him of his lack of education, his difficulty with the written word. Even now, so many years after he had learned the name for it, he was still unable to talk about his problem. The ridicule from his childhood had eaten into his heart, turned him into a loner, made him wary.

  Made him strong, he reminded himself quickly.

  Self-sufficient.

  He needed nobody, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t give of himself. He didn’t need a wife or a family of his own, but a tragedy had occurred and he was ready to do what must be done. He could care for Ronnie, help him develop into the man he would someday become. The only thing he couldn’t do was read to him, at least not without effort.

  Not without the letters turning inside out, tricking him, changing into a meaningless jumble before his eyes.

  Not without the knowledge that sooner or later his humiliating secret would have to come out. Someday Ronnie would have to be told the truth...but not yet.

  Luke heaved a sigh and went to the window. He gazed at the distant tangle of trees at the rear edge of his property. Despite his handicap, he had made a success of himself, and he was proud. So why had he been discontent all these years?

  Damn it, he had been content!

  Most of the time.

  When he hadn’t been in bed at night, alone. Or cooking dinner for one. Or sitting on the porch with the stars gleaming down on his bleak, empty yard.

  Man, he was really losing it. It was seeing Alicia again that had undermined his confidence and stirred the dissatisfaction in his soul. Ten years ago today, he had been crazy enough to offer her marriage. Ten years ago, he had believed that the disparity in their educational levels wouldn’t matter. Well, love hadn’t overcome a damn thing. In fact, their engagement hadn’t survived her first semester at college.

  Forget it. It’s ancient history. Who cares?

  Luke raked a hand through his hair. Bachelorhood suited him just fine, and self-pity wasn’t his style.

  The only problem was, he still wanted her.

  * * *

  Recalling that Luke wasn’t much of a cook, Alicia offered to help with supper, but he declined her offer and fixed them a spaghetti dinner as good as any restaurant’s. Afterward, he loaded the dishwasher while she took Ronnie upstairs and read him a bedtime story. That done, she helped the child locate his Superman pajamas and put his soiled clothing in the laundry.

  While Ronnie brushed his teeth, Alicia leaned against the door frame of the bathroom, watching him wistfully. How easily she had fallen into the role of mother. It was a role she had longed for desperately, and Caroline had known it. Had she also known of all the resentment her little sister had bottled up inside? The jealousy and the envy? Alicia prayed not. She was not proud of those feelings, but they had existed. Even now, when Caroline was gone forever, they were still writhing around in her chest like tiny demons.

  “I’m done.” Ronnie wiped his mouth and surveyed her, his eyes questioning. “How long are you gonna stay here with us?”

  “Well...” Alicia hesitated. “As long as it takes.”

  “Takes to do what?” He walked out of the bathroom and stood looking up at her, his piquant face filled with something that grazed her soul.

  Setting her hands on his shoulders, Alicia leaned down and looked him straight in the eye. “As long as it takes to decide where you will live, and who you will live with,” she explained in a soft voice.

  To her dismay, his eyes instantly filled with tears. “I want to stay here with Luke,” he said mutinously.

  Her heart sank. “And so you may, but that’s something we have to decide. Don’t worry, sweetheart. Uncle Luke and I will try to do what’s best. We want you to be happy.”

  “I’ll be happy with Luke! I don’t want to live with you!”

  “I understand,” she soothed. “You and I don’t know each other, do we? That’s why I came, Ronnie. So we could become friends.”

  “You’re not my friend,” he sobbed. “Brian’s my friend. And Daffy and Uncle Luke. They’re my only friends.” The child fell to his knees beside the dog, who had fallen asleep on the upstairs landing, and pressed his face to the animal’s fur.

  Uncertain how to handle the situation, Alicia hesitated, her hands curled into helpless fists. “Ronnie,” she said at last, “I just remembered something. I haven’t seen that water bed yet. Want to show it to me?”

  Silence greeted her question; the little boy did not move.

  “I’ve never seen a water bed,” she coaxed. “I can’t imagine what they look like.”

  Still no response.

  “Do you get wet when you sleep?”

  A choked little laugh. “No.”

  “No? I thought you did. I thought Uncle Luke had to wear his bathing suit to bed every night.”

  The child lifted his tearstained face. “Really? You really thought that?”

  “Isn’t it true?”

  “No.” Ronnie scrambled to his feet. “Come on, I’ll show you.” He hurried down the short corridor and flung open the farthest door. “There it is,” he announced with the aplomb of a game-show host.

  Feeling like a trespasser, Alicia stepped into Luke’s bedroom. Her gaze swept the room. She had an impression of neatness and restraint, of masculine furnishings in shades of beige and blue, but it was the queen-size water bed that drew her attention.

  It dom
inated the room, as Luke himself had so often dominated her thoughts for the past decade. How many times had she regretted not giving herself to him fully? How many times had she wondered what he was doing and with whom?

  Ronnie hurled himself through the air and landed on the bed with a bounce. “See?” He rose to his knees. “Isn’t it awesome?”

  Alicia smiled and moved closer. “Awesome,” she agreed. “But I think I’d get seasick.”

  “No, you wouldn’t,” said a cool voice behind her.

  She whipped around, her heart knocking against her rib cage. Irrational as it was, she felt like a child who’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

  “Go ahead, sit on it,” Luke said. “You’d be amazed how comfortable it is.” He leaned against the door frame and cocked an eyebrow, his expression calm and rather amused. Like before, he seemed in control of himself, while her poise slipped the moment he entered a room.

  “Oh, all right.” Alicia shrugged, determined not to let him know how much he rattled her.

  Pinning an unconcerned expression on her face, she perched on the edge, cursing because she was too damnably aware that this was where Luke slept. Where, without doubt, he had made love to other women.

  “Very nice,” she mumbled. Anxious to escape, she started to rise, but a small pair of hands grabbed her shoulders and pulled her off balance.

  “Wheeee!” cried Ronnie as she toppled over backward. His tribulations were temporarily forgotten as his imagination took over. “We’re on a raft, and there’s a big storm, and the waves are big as dinosaurs, and there’s sharks all around us, ready to eat us up, and...”

  As the mattress undulated wildly, Alicia’s stomach lurched from a combination of nerves and the slight motion sickness that had afflicted her in recent years. She shut her eyes. Ronnie’s storm swirled inside her, strumming her nerve endings, sending her shattered emotions spinning.

  “And jellyfish and stingrays and piranha fish and moray eels and—”

  “That’s enough, Ron,” Luke said. “Get off now, before your aunt loses her dinner.” Alicia opened her eyes just as Luke plucked the child off the bed.