A Family For Ronnie (Harlequin Treasury 1990's)

by Julie Caille

  “How dare you?” she choked out. “You’re not my...my—”

  “Lover?” he taunted.

  “You have no right!”

  An unpleasant smile twisted the corners of his hard mouth. “No,” he agreed. “I guess I don’t.”

  * * *

  “What’s the matter, Alicia?” Nick reached across the table to cover her hand, his handsome face concerned.

  She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  “Come on, tell me. You’ve been looking down in the dumps ever since we left the house.”

  She poked her filet mignon with her fork. “Tell me something.”

  “What?”

  “Does this dress make me look like a hooker?” she asked bluntly.

  To her chagrin, he burst out laughing. “No, of course not. It makes you look sexy and sophisticated. Where did you get that idea?”

  She looked down, reluctant to answer.

  “Did Luke tell you that?” The amusement faded from his voice.

  “Yes.”

  He sighed. “What gives with this guy, huh? He’s been giving me the evil eye ever since I got here. Now he’s giving you a hard time, too.”

  “He and I were once engaged to be married.”

  “Good Lord, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t think it mattered. It was all so long ago.”

  “It appears to matter to him.” Nick paused, his expression serious. “Does it matter to you, Alicia? Do you still love him?”

  “Of course not,” she lied. “Anyway, he’s got a girlfriend. I don’t know why he’s acting this way. Maybe he’s just trying to protect me. I suppose he thinks all college-educated men are like Kenny.”

  “He didn’t go to college? No wonder you didn’t marry him.”

  Without a moment’s hesitation, she leapt to Luke’s defense. “That had nothing to do with it! Luke had a very good reason for not going to college. He has dyslexia, badly. He was undiagnosed for years and it was hard on him. It still is.”

  Nick’s brows snapped together. “That is tough,” he acknowledged. “I’m a bit dyslexic myself, though I learned to compensate for it at an early age. I still want to kick myself sometimes when I make a mistake.”

  “Then you can understand,” she retorted. “Anyway, college doesn’t make the man. A man’s true worth comes from within.”

  “So why didn’t you marry him?”

  She sighed. “Because I didn’t think he loved me. And because he wanted me to quit college and come down here to Houston with him. He didn’t understand how important it was that I get my degree. At Kessler College, I didn’t have to pay tuition because of my parents. I couldn’t afford to transfer anywhere else. He either couldn’t understand, or didn’t want to. So we broke it off.”

  “It seems like you’re totally incompatible.” Nick sounded relieved. “Unlike you and me.”

  She raised her head.

  “You know,” he went on in a casual tone, “I asked you out tonight for a special reason.” He reached into his pocket and drew out a small, black velvet box, which he set on the table between them. “I bought this while I was in L.A.”

  “Nick, I—”

  “Don’t say anything yet. I want to tell you something.” He cleared his throat, his eyes locked with hers. “Since Lynn died, I haven’t been feeling very much. I wasn’t happy or sad. I was just empty, just floating along. Existing. Then I met you, and I started to feel again. Just a little at first. Anticipation. Pleasure. Attraction. That surprised me, because I’d thought I’d never want to touch another woman. But I wanted to touch you.” He reached for his wine and took a sip. “Then you went to Houston. I thought I’d forget you, but instead I thought about you all the time. I missed you more than I thought possible. And I began to realize that I had fallen in love with you.”

  “Oh, Nick.” Dismay tightened her throat.

  “I’d like you to marry me, Alicia.” He picked up the box and handed it to her. “And this is a token of my esteem.”

  Somehow her hands accepted it, though her numbed brain whirled with tumult. With unsteady fingers, she lifted the lid and found a magnificent diamond solitaire ring winking up at her in the candlelight.

  “Nick, it’s beautiful,” she said helplessly. “But...”

  “But?” He cocked an eyebrow.

  “I’m just not sure I’m ready to be married again,” she floundered. “I don’t know what to say.”

  He gave her a considering look. “I see. Then you need time to think it over.”

  “Yes,” she said, seizing on this with gratitude. She closed the box and set it back down onto the snowy white tablecloth. “This is so unexpected. You see, I thought we were only friends. I mean, we’d spent time together, but I hadn’t anticipated this at all. I need time.”

  “Then you’ll have it,” he said quietly. He reached over and touched her cheek. “Take as much time as you need.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Later, when they walked to the door of Luke’s house, Alicia did not invite Nick inside. Nor did he ask to come in. After all, he, too, had seen that the lights were still on. However, he did kiss her again—a hard, swift kiss that, had it come from Luke, would have rocked her all the way to her toes.

  “Good night, Alicia,” he whispered. “I’ll be in touch.”

  After he had driven away, she entered the house, her nerves jangling with anticipation. It was foolish to think Luke was lying in wait for her, like a wolf ready to pounce, but she could not shake the feeling.

  Pausing in the foyer, she considered going straight to her room, but that seemed the height of cowardice. It would be better to face Luke now, to smooth things over while Ronnie was not around to witness their discord. Squaring her shoulders, she left her shoes and purse by the foot of the stairs and headed for the living room, where the soft strains of classical music gave away the wolf’s whereabouts.

  She halted in the doorway, taken aback to find him stretched full-length on the sofa, an empty glass and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s on the coffee table beside him. His eyes were closed. His face looked as pale and drawn as if he were ill.

  “Luke?” she said, moving toward him in concern.

  He opened his eyes and looked at her, his eyes glittering like cold, gray ice. “Where’s your friend? Didn’t you invite him to come in and party with us?”

  “Luke, are you drunk?”

  “No such luck.” His brooding gaze wandered over her, but at least he made no further comment about her dress. “Are you?”

  “Don’t be silly. I wouldn’t do that and you know it.”

  “Right now I feel like I don’t know anything about you.” Something akin to pain crossed his face, then he shrugged and sat up. “Did you have a good time with Nicky?”

  “I wish you wouldn’t call him that. It’s very childish of you to keep insulting him. I think you’d like him if you gave him half a chance.”

  Luke’s laugh was hollow. “Oh, I like him a lot. He’s a super guy. We have some major things in common.”

  “Even more than you know,” she said on impulse. “Would you believe he’s dyslexic, too? Not as severely as you are, apparently, and he learned to compensate for it when he was young. But he sympathizes with what you must have gone through—”

  “You told him?” The words sliced the air, his voice laden with unmistakable fury. “You told him I was dyslexic?”

  “Well...yes,” she admitted, her stomach clenching as she realized the enormity of her mistake. “I mentioned it. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. It came into the conversation quite naturally—”

  He rose to his feet, his face more dark and ominous than any wolf’s. “Oh, it’s natural for you to broadcast my personal concerns, is it? Did you tell him we slept together, too? Did you tell him what it felt like and how many times we did it?”

  Shocked, she took a step backward. “Don’t be absurd! I wouldn’t dream of telling him something like that. Maybe I shouldn’t have m
entioned your dyslexia, but Luke, honestly, Nick understands. Anyway, it’s not as though I told my mother—” She saw his expression and broke off, knowing she had just compounded her error. “Luke, that’s not what I meant. I wouldn’t care if my mother knew. I’m not ashamed of you.”

  “Is that so?” he said with terrible sarcasm.

  “Yes, it’s so! Look, I think you are drunk. I apologize for what I did, but I think we should discuss this in the morning when you’re sober.” With a heavy sigh, she added, “I’ve made the decision to return to Boston within the week. Tomorrow we’ll need to start preparing Ronnie. Good night.”

  She started to turn away, but a strong hand closed on her arm and whirled her around. “Not so fast, sweetie pie. You started this, now you’re going to stay here and finish it.”

  “Let go of me.”

  “When I’m good and ready. First I want you to sit down and tell me your definition of the word ‘prepare’. I’m real interested to hear it.”

  She found herself deposited on the sofa, trapped by the wall of male muscle towering over her. She tilted her chin at him. “I mean Ronnie has to be told, that’s all.”

  “So,” he said, his fists on his hips, “you’re saying you’re just going to walk out on that kid. I can’t believe this.”

  “I thought you’d be pleased! You wanted him to stay here. You don’t seem surprised, so he must have told you he’d decided to stay and that I had agreed.”

  “He told me. What I can’t believe is that you’re going to walk out of here like he doesn’t even matter to you.”

  “Of course he matters to me! It tears my heart out to leave him. But I have to do what I think is right.”

  Luke’s lip curled. “So you managed to stay here just long enough to make him love you, and now you’re going to take yourself off for the rest of his life. Do you really think you helped him, Alicia? Did you think he needed to lose another person?”

  “Yes, I think I helped him. At least I...I tried.”

  Oh, God, maybe Luke was right. Her intentions had been good, but maybe all she’d accomplished was to pave the way for more pain and loss in Ronnie’s life. Nearly blinded by tears, she tried to rise, to get away, but Luke thwarted her attempt with his body.

  As if to twist the knife, he leaned over her, his hands framing her shoulders where he gripped the sofa back. “Maybe you tried, but I think you did more damage than good. You sashayed down here, Miss Eager-Beaver-Do-Gooder, ready to sweep Ronnie off to Boston. You took over his life and mine, fired my cleaning lady, sweet-talked us all, seduced me and now—”

  “How can you say that?” A solid wave of fury slammed into her, lending her the physical strength to thrust him back a whole step. She leapt to her feet and pushed him again as hard as she could. “It wasn’t like that and you know it! Why are you trying to hurt me?”

  He looked stunned, as though her questions had hit some invisible target. “I don’t know.” He shook his head as if to clear it. “I’m sorry. I’m such a damned jerk. I shouldn’t have said that. Any of it. And before, what I said about your dress...that wasn’t true, either. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Your dress is beautiful.” He paused. “Like you.”

  “It’s okay,” she said, dazed by this about-face. “You were upset about Ronnie. I’m sorry I pushed you.”

  He shoved a hand through his hair, his expression rigid, his eyes focused on some point behind her head. “Alicia, we need to consider the other option.”

  She froze. Her heart buffeted against her rib cage while she waited for him to continue.

  “I think Ronnie should live with you.”

  Her throat closed, her breathing shut off as she fought the urge to sob aloud. For a crazy instant, she’d thought he was going to propose. And like a lovesick fool, she’d been ready to accept.

  “Think about it,” he said tonelessly. “You’re the one with the education. You can help him with his homework, help him learn to read. Look at this story you’ve got him working on. I couldn’t have done that with him. I wouldn’t even have thought of it. I don’t think I’m cut out to be a parent. I’m a loner, Alicia. Not a...a dad.”

  Amazement wiped away other emotions. She stared at him, knowing the magnitude of his proffered sacrifice. Ronnie’s words circled back to haunt her. Uncle Luke needs me. He doesn’t have anyone else.

  “No,” she said, shaking her head. “No. Ronnie belongs here with you. I love him, but you love him, too. Your bond with him goes back to the time he was a baby. I think we both know it would be wrong for me to take him. I think I knew it from the start, but I was stubborn. I thought—” She swallowed hard. “I guess I thought I could make a difference. I wanted to do something for Caroline.” She drew a breath. “But you’re wrong, Luke. You’ll make Ronnie a fine father. The very best.”

  He made no answer. He gazed at the floor, his face set in a peculiar expression, as though he was waging some great internal battle with himself. “Alicia—”

  “Luke—” she began at the same instant.

  Their eyes connected.

  “Go ahead,” he said. “What were you going to say?”

  “Well...” She licked her lips. “I wanted to tell you that...Nick asked me to marry him tonight.”

  A gamut of emotions flashed across Luke’s face, then vanished, too fleeting to be identified. “And of course you accepted him,” he said, his tone lifeless.

  “No, as it happens I haven’t. But I’m considering it.” Her fingers curled into fists at her sides, her nails digging deep into her palms as she waited for him to respond.

  To her dismay, he went and poured himself a generous portion of whiskey. Lifting it to his mouth, he said very dryly, “I guess he liked the dress,” and drained it in a single gulp.

  “Aren’t you even going to ask why?” she demanded in frustration.

  “Oh, I know why he liked the dress.” Without expression, he appraised her with seeming indifference. “I bet his designer pants were on fire all evening.”

  “Damn it, Luke, don’t be like this! If you’re mad, then say so.”

  He set down the glass with a loud thunk. “Why should I be mad? It’s your life, Alicia. If you want to marry Easton, go ahead. I won’t try to stop you, even if I think you’re making a mistake.”

  “So you think I shouldn’t marry him.”

  “What difference does it make what I think?”

  “I thought you might care,” she said in a low voice. “I thought you might be concerned about me.”

  He raised a hand, pressing his fingers to his forehead as though it hurt. Then he dropped his arm and looked at her again, anger reanimating his narrowed eyes. “Damn it, I can’t play these games with you. You want me to tell you not to marry the guy? Fine. Don’t marry him. Go back to your condo and your high-tech job and your lonely bed. Is that what you want me to say?”

  “I don’t know,” she said miserably.

  “Okay, that’s not good enough.” He raked a hand through his hair, looking harassed and savage and scornful. “Then how about this for a laugh? Marry me instead.”

  “What?” she said, her voice faint. Not like this. Oh, please, God, not like this.

  “I said, marry me. It’ll solve all our problems with Ronnie, won’t it? He’s torn between us, and this way he can have us both. And it’s not as though I can’t support you. I don’t have the kind of money Easton has, but you won’t lack for anything. I happen to own a lot of land.” His hands spread in a sweeping gesture. “You said you liked this house. Then stay here and live in it with me. We already know the sex is good. We can have all the children you want, brothers and sisters for Ronnie. I’ll even put in a pool if you want. Anything. Just stay here with us. For Ronnie’s sake.”

  Alicia stood very still, her insides cramped with anguish, unshed tears burning her throat. How could this be happening? Nick’s proposal had been so gentle and loving. Luke’s was flung in her face like a gauntlet.

  Slowly, distinctly, she s
aid, “I can’t marry you for Ronnie’s sake. Let’s face it, Luke. You had what you wanted from me. All these years...well, we’ve both been curious about each other. Now we know what the sex is like. Yes, it was nice, but that’s not enough to base a marriage on.” She drew a shaky breath. “Nick loves me. His first wife died three years ago from breast cancer. He went through hell with her and...I don’t want to be the one to cause him more pain. I think I’m going to accept him. As for you and me, well, it didn’t work between us the first time, and it’s not working again. So let’s just go our separate ways and get on with our lives.”

  A muscle jerked at the corner of his mouth. “Fine,” he said very flatly. “If that’s the way you want it.”

  So this was what defeat felt like. It made her feel old and tired, bereft and desolate. Hopeless.

  With an inward shudder, she turned and walked away from him, but in the doorway she stopped and forced herself to look back. “I’ll find you another housekeeper before I leave.”

  He didn’t so much as glance at her. His head was bent, his stance rigid and immobile as a rock. “Don’t bother,” he rasped. “Just go, Alicia. And have a good life.”

  * * *

  He’d blown it all, done everything wrong. No woman with integrity or pride could have accepted the proposal he’d tossed out. Luke knew that. He’d known it even while he was forming the words, but he’d gone ahead and blown it anyway.

  The night stretched before him like a road without end. He didn’t even try to sleep. He just stayed where he was, slumped on the sofa with his feet on the table.

  And let the pain eat him alive.

  He thought about getting loaded but decided against it. He’d had enough whiskey to blur the edges and more wasn’t going to make him feel anything but worse. As it was, he felt like a fifty-pound weight rested on his chest.

  Again and again he went over the scene in his head, trying to remember exactly what he’d said to her, exactly what she’d said to him. The confrontation came back to him in bits and snatches, mixed up like pieces of a puzzle. He’d said things to hurt her, horrible things. He’d insulted her, insulted Easton.