Defying Fate

by Lis, Heidi

  “Please, please, Dominic don’t do this. I beg you not to do this!” I know it most likely won’t matter to him, but I will die trying.

  “Ah, what’s wrong Izzabella? Now that you had someone else, you no longer desire me?” His words are surprisingly honest. Not expecting him to seem so, human, I keep my eyes closed tight because a leopard does not change its spots.

  Giving myself a mental pep talk, I whisper with desperation. “No, I don’t want you, ever again. You hurt me and you wanted to own me, and you have for so long. It took me some time to finally get enough courage to stand up to you, but once you took Willow from me, I stopped caring so I stood up to you and got the hell away.” I say these things to him with confidence because when it came to Dominic I never had much of it. If I did, I usually got punished for it.

  With a gentle swipe of his finger, he pushes my hair to the side. “Izzabella, you losing Willow was your entire fault. If I am honest, I want you and her with me. I wanted to be what you wanted me to be, I just couldn’t do it. A part of me, a big part of me likes to hurt you. I get off on it for Christ’s sake. I want to cut you so fucking bad right now I ache for it. A small part of me knows it’s wrong. There with in lies my problem, my desires outweigh the rational part of me.” A look of wonderment crosses his face as he sighs. “You see I have two different sides to me, like two separate people.”

  The only thing, I can do, is stare at his confession, who the hell is this guy?

  Holding out his right hand, he says, “This represents the good side of me,” holding up his left hand, he continues, “this represents my other less desirable side. You would say the evil side. They go to war, and the more domineering side always wins. The side you don’t tend to like.”

  “Dominic it sounds like a bi-polar issue to me. They have medicine for that you know?”

  He throws his head back laughing. “You see, that is why I like you so much. Your sense of humor always attracted me to you.”

  “Maybe, I should stop being so funny then,” I say arching my eyebrow.

  “Now, that is also funny, Izzabella,” taking a big breath he ponders a moment. “You were always sweet, your innocence took my breath away. From the first time I met you, I knew you were going to be mine.”

  I have to groan, he is more delusional than I thought. “One damn night turned into my fucking nightmare. You took an innocent girl and turned her into some sick obsession. My life ceased to exist the day you took me to your bed.”

  I can see confusion on his face as worry lines crease his forehead. The distant look is as if he is lost in his own thoughts. In an instant, his expression changes. The crystal blues are back, and his expression goes from confused to crystal clear, cold and calculated.

  He rolls himself, so he is over me again on the bed.

  The sharp stab of the knife has me screaming out, the pain is excruciating to the point I want to pass out. It’s been some time since the last mark was placed on my body. Looking down the instant he moves his body, I can see the knife still in my thigh. I try to buck him off of me, but he is too strong. I get one of my legs free and as soon as I do I kick him in the crotch. My bad leg still having the knife in it is slightly bent but glued to the bed. The running, red streaks of blood are mixed with the white sheets. My aggressive kick has turned Dominic into full fledge manic mode. The sadist has returned with a vengeance.

  “I tried not to hurt you. It’s you defying me that piss me off.” His last word has him pulling the knife out of my thigh and stabs it right in my lower stomach. Son of a mother, this one is deeper and hurts like a bitch.

  “STOP.”

  “STOP.”

  “STOP.”

  I cry out my mantra. The stinging and throbbing pain in my leg is one thing, the burning feeling, and the tearing of my flesh has me choking out a gurgling cry. Wincing, my body writhes under the pain coursing through my veins. The idea of him doing this to me again shatters any chance I had that I would make it out unscathed.

  Holding my stomach and trying not to move my hurt leg too much, I lay in a pool of my own bright red blood. Shock must be setting in because the pain is slowly fading. I can feel my breathing as it begins to slow down, I want to give into the darkness. Just let it take me over and get me the hell away from this madman. A life without ever seeing Braxton kills me, but this life, a life trapped with Dominic, well that is no life at all. I would rather choose death.

  He jumps off me and takes the knife with him, standing he eyes his handy work and realizes he pushed the knife in my lower stomach too far. It’s bleeding too much and doesn’t look good at the moment. I am light headed and feeling sick, yes, dear God, just end this. Dying alone is the one thing no one wants, I should be scared shitless right about now, but I’m not, I’m surprisingly calm. Well, calm as anyone can be with multiple stab wounds and bleeding profusely.

  Running out the door, Dominic is calling his trusty patch up doctor. Yes, I have had my share of visits from him over the years. His name is Max, better known as my patchwork doctor. In any other situation, I would like Max. His smile is warm, his touch is kind and caring. Over the years, he has gotten to know me, and I have very little knowledge about him. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. I am not his friend, who the hell knows what the hell I am? Max being helpful and friendly has calmed me many times before, but working under Dominic I know I can’t trust him.

  Before passing out I swear I can hear Max leaning over me, I swear he whispers in my ear.

  “Izzy, I will help you my dear. Please hang on for me. Sleep now and let me work my magic.” It’s then a cloth is over my nose, and I am sent once again into la-la land.

  WAKING UP MY FOGGY brain is spinning, making me dizzy and nauseous. A faint light shines from the old lamp on the nightstand giving off enough of a shadow I can see the outline of a man in a chair at the end of the bed. Trying to focus my eyes, I’m having a hard time making out who he is exactly. A slight movement of my head has me wincing from the pain as I try to hold it still in my hands. I know the dizziness must be from the stuff that Max gave me. I could never sit still enough to be stitched up. The idea of it all repulsed me to the point my body would convulse. Max at least thought enough of me to put me out of my temporary suffering. Although Dominic was never just a temporary pain, no he was more of a twenty-four hour hell sentence.

  Just thinking his name and the horror of what happened comes washing back, and it terrifies me. His words, his eyes and his double personality, quickly snap my attention to my stomach and leg. I have a long nightshirt on and panties, nothing else just bandages. One covering my lower stomach stretches from hip to hip. Jesus, just how big was the mark he left on me this time?

  Moving my leg to the side, I survey the damage. The bandage is small, but the dark color, which is oozing through, makes me sick. Laying my head back on the pillow, I control my panicked breathing so I won’t throw up. Telling myself over and again, ‘I won't throw up, I won’t throw up, I won’t throw up.’

  My tears flow unashamed, I’m scared and alone. As a desperate cry escapes my lips I, realize my cry for help is pointless. As long as I’m with Dominic I simply cannot be saved. I repeatedly rub my hand closing my eyes as it’s the only touch that gives me comfort when all of a sudden a warm hand covers mine.

  “Hey Izzy, how are you feeling?” He asks with such warmth.

  The weariness of his voice lets me know someone does care for me.

  My throat is dry as hell, and I’m pissed if I’m honest. “Seriously? You are asking me a question I’m sure you already know the answer to.” I say rolling my eyes and wiping my tears away. Oh shit, he’s not who I hate right now, but he is the only one next to me I can take my anger out on.

  Max wrinkles his forehead, and it’s easy to sense he is struggling to find the right words to say to me. “Look Izzy, you have no reason to trust me. I want to help you, I never liked what Dom has done to you. It sickens me, to be honest, he would kill me if he knew I was tal
king to you like this and if he knew just how much I loathe him. I swore after the incident with your brother and Willow that I had to help you get free from him. I saw the horror, and I felt your cries all the way to my soul. I made a decision I was going to find a way to help you. I just did not know how until last night.”

  Looking around the room for any sign of Dominic, I’m hesitant to ask. “How? How are you going to help me Max?” I keep my voice a whisper, so no other unexpected ears can hear us.

  Sighing, Max holds his hand up, saying, “I am trying to figure it all out. I have some things I’m working on now. Izzy that includes finding Willow. I may know who has her.”

  He tells me the one thing I needed to hear most in the world. More so than telling me I am going to live another day.

  “Oh my God, Max, how do you know this?” My eyes are wide with the possibility. Then reality sets in. “If Dominic ever finds out he…he will kill you Max. Wh…what about the other members of the Lost Souls?” Seriously Max was taking an enormous risk, all for me.

  “You let me worry about that. You rest and get yourself better. I know I have to move quickly. Dom wants to get you back home as soon as possible. Seems your guy is causing a lot of grief for Dom. Can’t say, I don’t like it though. Years I fought with myself allowing him to keep hurting you like he did. Each time I had to patch you up, I cried afterward. No one should have to suffer like that. Then with Willow, I knew one day I would help you and I will.”

  His warm smile can’t disguise the years of guilt that show in his eyes. There is so much pain and sorrow. Another round of tears escapes my eyes, but this time they are happy tears. They are tears of, hope!

  I am not only surprised by his words, I’m shocked. No one ever crosses Dominic. Ever. If anyone did, they would not live to breathe another day. The only thing, I can think to do, is pull him into a hug. I am so happy to have someone on my side. Could he really help me, help me leave Dominic, help me get my daughter back? Oh, I cry at just the thought of spending a day with Willow. Holding her, caring for her the way I should have done all of this time. In her short life, I wonder if she will ever remember who I am. The time we had was short, but it was the best of my life.

  A creak of the door alerts us. “Well, look who’s awake.” Dominic snaps me back from my happy thoughts. I’m sure he would be able to tell if he could have seen my face. One minute happy and a smile filled with hope. The instant I hear his voice, it disappears, replaced with a blank stare void of any emotion. Hatred would be too small an emotion for what I feel for him.

  He crosses the room to my bed. Max immediately smiles and nods his head before leaving the room. On his way out, he reminds Dominic that I need my rest. It seems I lost a lot of blood. Dominic’s knife went in a little too far, that most likely explains why I am in so much pain this time around. Usually, I only have one wound to heal but lucky me, I have two knife wounds to deal with this time. I’m a lucky bitch.

  His gaze sends chills down my spine, he is looking at me with a mixture of sadness and concern. Staring back at him, I pull my lips tight lifting my eyebrows as if to convey my less than thrilled attitude. With Dominic, my simple facial gestures tell him more than my words ever could. I can easily insult him with words, but my facial gestures are a more subtle way of saying ‘fuck off’ or better yet ‘go to hell you bastard’ with a smile on my face.

  “Izzabella, believe it or not, I am sorry. I never meant to take it that far. I was upset. You, you left me and when I got you back you defied me. It angered me and then I was out of control. Jesus Christ, Izzabella. Why? Why do you make me so fucking mad at you?” Pinching his nose with his fingers, he takes several slow deep breaths.

  Dominic has never tried to calm down before, so why now? My brain is telling me to yell, scream or throw the lamp over his head. What good would that do, probably earn me another few marks on my body, no fucking way? Two is enough to last me. The only thing, I can do, is swallow my anger, my hurt, and channel my focus on how I am going to get the hell away from him once and for all.

  “Dominic you took what you wanted from me and when I didn’t give it willingly, you punished me. The ugly marks left behind by your blade will always be constant reminders of the hell I have lived. These constant reminders will always remind me just who you are!” My pained stare is filled with so much misery and suffering, but it’s my voice and words that affect him the most.

  Dropping his head in shame, he lets out an exasperated sigh. “I know,” He admits whispering, “you have every right to hate me, but you have to know I have always cared about you.” Slouching his shoulders, his eyes stay glued to the floor. “I just have a funny way of showing it.”

  No Fucking Shit, Asshole.

  “Funny way of showing it.” I squeal. “You have got to be kidding me Dominic. You hurt me. On purpose! You took my child from me. If you even cared an ounce about me, you would have never done that.” Finally releasing all of the anger I’ve held in for so long. “You're sick!” My profound desire to scream all of the things he has wronged me for has given way to my hysterical cries.

  His reaction to my tears this time is different, he uses his thumb to wipe them away with gentleness in his touch.

  Caressing my cheek with his thumb, he speaks softly. “I am going to fix this. I will make it better. From now on it’s going to be you, me, and Willow. The way it should have been all along.”

  I swear his smile seems genuine. He believes we can be what, a family? A fucking family after all he has done? Oh my God, he is sicker than I thought.

  “You cannot be serious. I would never want a family with you. There is no us, how could you ever believe that? Not in a million years would I ever forgive you. You have caused so much grief and pain in my life. I have suffered under your hands for so long. I don’t even want a life if it means you are in it!” I pull no punches in letting him know this either. A life with him is no life at all so why would I want to live one. Closing my eyes, I lay my head against the pillow and cry. Standing, his hands tremor with tightly closed fists. His mouth is hanging open, but no words escape.

  I have no fight left in me. I’m so done. My heart had been shattered so many times before, but this time, I thought for just one minute, I could be happy. Happy for the first time in so very long, Braxton and Eve gave me that. They made me happy, they gave me hope.

  Even the ups and downs with Tiffany were nothing compared to the hell I faced with Dominic. Not even close. The times spent in Braxton’s arms were worth it all. I’d go through hell again if it meant I could spend another night with Braxton. In his arms I felt safe, I felt whole, and I never felt so alive in my life. The pain Dominic caused I mask because the pain of not seeing Braxton again is what is tearing my motherfucking heart apart.

  Clutching the bed sheets in my hands, I hold onto the memory of my last night I spent with Braxton. We were in my bed, Liam and Kara were heavily going at it in the spare room and not too quiet about it either. I swear it was like we were college roommates, shaking up the night with our boyfriends. Braxton and I laughed about it, we were both carefree, and it felt good to let our hair down and just be us. We never had a lot of time just us being us, but when we did I treasured it. Those stolen moments forever ingrained in my heart. It’s what true love was like, he was my soul mate, my best friend, and simply put Braxton is my everything.

  Rolling around in bed our sweat covered bodies glided against one another. Laughing and tickling, he would bite me ever so gently. I would respond with a lick here and there and a bite of my own. The saltiness and the feel of his warm skin melted under the slickness of my tongue. Flicking his nipple, I trailed my tongue around, biting it gently, only to suck it eagerly. I could feel his body tense, and then moan with pleasure. The rougher I got shot waves of passion throughout my body as his rippled with lust.

  That was a wild ride as I straddle him like he would straddle his bike. With Braxton sitting up, I anchored my feet to his back as my hands grasp his shoulder
s. Leaning back, I took him fast and hard sliding up and down his stone-hard shaft. I bit back the pain with the pleasure allowing my body to adjust to him. I never had a man the width or length of Braxton. Intimidating as hell at first as I was afraid there was no way he was going to fit. He puts my fears to rest as he gently showed me how I would fit him like a glove. Yep, let's just say it was snug, and I fucking loved every second of it.

  Getting closer to my climax, he quickly flipped me on my back. Watching him thrusting in and out of me so hard I feared I might split in two. It was fucking fantastic. Holding my knees, he spread them wide, plunging in and out harder, and then faster. All I could see was his ripped chest, as my eyes followed a bead of sweat trailing down into the V-shape that lead to his happy-trail. OMG...I swear I’d died and gone to heaven!

  His brown ‘fuck me eyes’ emblazed with lust sear into my brain as they beg me for more. The way he makes me feel, there are just no words that come close to explaining it. Letting my eyes trail down his perfect chest, sans any hair, it was just muscle and sweat, yummy! I can remember every damn detail of that night. It’s fresh in my mind and has marked my soul forever.

  The image of seeing his shaft drenched with my sweet nectar pushed me over the edge cascading to my own earth shattering climax.

  With an animalistic growl, I exclaim. “Oh Braxton, look at us. Jesus Christ never knew it could be this fucking good.”

  Braxton’s manly grunts were synchronized with his every thrust. “Iz, look at the way my dick is all wet with your sweet juices. It makes my dick harder seeing the way we fit together.” His words filled with pure bliss. “Feel it Iz, feel how fuckin’ great it is.”

  That one night will stay with me till the day I die. Closing my eyes, I’m reliving it as I can almost hear his sexy voice.

  Arching my back, it’s the sensation as if a spark has been ignited deep within my core. The spark of a flame catching fire shoots arrows of lust throughout my writhing body. I’m now positioned in a way that resembles a letter V. Braxton has my legs wrapped under my knees holding them to his hips. My hands and dangling feet are the only part of my body touching the mattress. Arched into a twisted pretzel, never realizing I could be so damn flexible. Note to self, this position rocks.