Defying Fate

by Lis, Heidi

  Kara and I fill our plates and sit on Braxton’s couch relaxing for a change.

  “It’s weird isn’t it?” Waiting to gauge her reaction, I’ve not had time to ask her how she is dealing with what happened. She puts up a good front, but all the same killing your own brother, it’s not easy, even for my strong-willed best friend.

  Her face falters with a distant look. “It is what it is. There was no saving him, he was never going to change.”

  The tears that welled up have me dropping my sandwich and grabbing her in a big hug.

  “Shh, I’m so unbelievably sorry Kara. I made so many mistakes, would-a, could-a, should-a, can’t change the past, I suppose.”

  Kara sobs, saying over my shoulder, “The worst of it is my regrets for my niece, your daughter. Where the hell is she? I just wish I could have done more, more for her, more for you, hell, even more for me.” She continually shakes her head, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

  We share the same regrets and guilt, and I find it hard to say the right words to comfort her. Any mention of Willow breaks my heart. I can’t go there, can’t think of that sweet little girl, my little girl. She should be with me, she should have never been taken from me. My throat tightens with each swallow, and my rapid blinking is keeping my tears at bay.

  I get up and brush off my jeans trying to gain my composure. Kara is looking at me trying to gauge my mood. Shaking my head at her I am trying to tell her, ‘not now, can’t talk about my daughter' the feelings are just too raw knowing my only connection to Willow now is dead. I’m not sure I’ll ever see her again.

  A hand suddenly goes to my hip, and I spin around to face Braxton. He notices the look on my face, and instantly frowns. Wiping my left eye again, I try to smile and dismiss my tears with a shake of my head.

  “I’m okay. Just, I don’t.” I huff out, “I don’t know.” It’s all I can say.

  “Sparkplug, are you okay?” He says raising an eyebrow at me. Of course, him and his damn eye-raising.

  “I will be in time,” with a shrug, I whisper, “maybe.”

  Later that night, I’m in his bedroom. Braxton is putting Eve to bed so I decided to take a shower and while brushing my hair, I open a few dresser drawers looking for a t-shirt to sleep in. I pull one out and instantly smell it. Yes, it smells just like him.

  His large t-shirt hangs right to above my knees. Perfect sleeping shirt, although I am sure by night’s end, I will be missing it. Preferably naked with his hard body pressed against mine.

  Braxton comes strolling in and stops in his tracks when he sees me dressed in his shirt. His eyes rake up and down my body, and I all of a sudden get shy. Crossing my legs I pull the shirt lower. Snickering he shakes his finger at me as a no-no.

  “No. No. No,” shaking his head. “None of the acting shy on my ass. No reason for you and this hotness to be shy when it comes to me.” Pulling his shirt over his head, he throws it on the floor and takes two giant steps stopping right in front of me.

  What sounds like an ‘umm’ noise escapes his lips. “Oh, I do love my girl all showered and wet.”

  He says while putting his hands on my hips pulling me against him. My sudden jolt against his body makes me gasp out loud. Braxton moans as he then takes my lips. No hesitation on his part, and I take his invitation. His lips are wet from his tongue as it stroked his lips right before they crashed against mine.

  My body goes limp with a moan of my own. He makes me weak in the knees and I begin to sway back and forth.

  “Oh, Sweet Jesus, I can never get enough of your body. How the hell did I get lucky enough to get you Braxton?” I pull back a little, gazing into those big brown eyes. Tonight they sparkle. The slight lines that mar his eyes are more defined as he smiles. They make his eyes look even more intense.

  Taking my hands, I cup his jaws on each side of his glorious face. Gazing at this beautiful man, I can’t seem to catch my breath. His brows, dark as his eyes, entrance me, the line of his jaw, so strong and defined. Good Lord, I have never met a man with such strong and beautiful features like he was molded from stone. I lean up and kiss each cheek, and then I let my nose trace over his, kissing him ever so sweetly. Softly I keep tracing my nose on his face as I place feather-like kisses along my way. It’s soft and sweet as I pour my feelings into my kisses. Each time my lips touch his face, Braxton moans and falls into me a little more.

  I whisper close to his ear. “You are so breathtakingly beautiful.”

  “Mmmm. Not as beautiful as you Sparkplug.” Keeping his eyes closed he says softly.

  Within seconds, we are both on the bed and lying on our sides facing each other. He traces his finger, starting at my neck down between my breasts and lets his hand rest on my hip. My other arm is under my chin as I try not to laugh from his tickle.

  “Ticklish are we now?” He asks giggling.

  “Maybe.” I say lost in his lust filled eyes. My own desires start to burn as the twinkles in his eyes now explode with passion, raw and a needy look to them.

  Braxton leans in and sweetly kisses me. Gently, he strokes my cheek with his thumb wrapping his fingers around the side of my face just under my jaw. Holding my head in place, he keeps my head and more importantly, my lips fused to his.

  Our kiss is sweet and unrushed, unlike most of our other ones. The heat of the moment is different, our lust and need is giving way to another deeper emotion. The chemistry is undeniable; our desires for each other are off the charts. But this feels different, this is un-rushed as the fire inside of me is smoldering, festering into something greater. I might not live through this, but heck if I don't love every minute of it.

  “Baby, need you so bad. Izzy, I need to feel you. Need to be so deep inside of you. Oh hell, I fucking love you, Sparkplug.” He’s whispering voice dances with my mind as his body dances against mine.

  I shiver and shake as my own desires are taking control of my body. I reach around his head, pushing my fingers into his hair. I use my grip on him to pull myself over him as Braxton lies on his back and with his hands on my hips he helps pull me on top. Palming my ass, he digs his fingers into my flesh, the sting of his touch increases my lustful desires. Rolling my hips I search to find some relief to my growing ache between my legs.

  “Oh Braxton,” I whisper throwing my head back. “Being with you is the best feeling I have ever had. The thought of never being with you again, I… I can’t.” I say wincing as my voice cracks trying to contain my angst.

  “Don’t even think things like that babe. Let me make love to you Izzy. Let me show you how much I truly love you.”

  Reaching out, he lays a hand on my heart. Seeing him like this, needing me, it’s the best feeling in the world.

  Sitting up Braxton comes to his knees, pulling me to mirror his stance. We pause only to look at each other. Slowly Braxton slides his hand down my hip and hooks my left leg behind the knee and pulls it over his hip. Trying not to fall backwards, I hold on tight to his shoulders. Slightly tilted back, he lines himself with my already drenched entrance. Quickly lifting me, his eyes blazing with lust reach out and touch my soul.

  The thing, about being able to read people with their eyes alone, has always been an incredible secret of mine, but never as powerful as it is right now. His look is beyond anything I have ever seen before. It’s soft but not, it’s eager but not, it’s so much more.

  I can tell Braxton is having trouble keeping his desires under control, he’s flaring his nose in sync with his rapid breathing. His chest is rising and retracting so fast the sheen of perspiration beads on his massive chest. The only thing I can think is, I want to lick every inch of this beautiful man.

  I lower my gaze to his erection that’s just begging to slide into my wet core. I lick my lower lip imagining how wonderful it would be to wrap him around my lips, and I can’t help but whimper and moan. When our eyes meet, my mischievous grin gives way as I bite my lower lip.

  “Oh, Sparkplug I can see the wheels turning in t
hat head of yours. Can’t wait for those plump lips around my dick either, but right now he wants your sweet pussy.”

  “Who am I to deny him what he wants?” I cheekily answer.

  “Watch him as he slides into your pure sweetness baby.”

  We both look down to his large and eager cock as he slowly comes closer to me where I ache the most. My breath hitches as he starts to slide into me. I am so unbelievably wet he has no issue, pushing in inch by delectable inch. I savor the heat that radiates from him filling me so full.

  He feels so achingly incredible, I can’t help but roll my eyes as my nails dig into his shoulders, each wave of ecstasy is stronger than the next. Braxton is holding onto my left leg hooking it around his hip not only to give him leverage, but to keep my body still as he slowly thrusts himself in and out of me. Braxton is slow and deliberate as I can’t help but moan and grunt in pure unadulterated bliss.

  He’s taking me higher and closer to what I am craving. His intensity increases and with each push Braxton is becoming more demanding. Worshipping my body, he drives into me circling his hips before retreating and doing it all again increasing his pressure and speed.

  Within minutes, he is pushing so hard I stumble back and he comes down with me. He never slips out, he just repositions himself and goes back to his continued thrashing of his hard body into mine. I find it hard to breathe, the only thing I can concentrate on is how incredible he feels.

  “Harder. Braxton, give it to me harder. Show me that I’m yours.” I have no idea what I am saying as my pleasure is too intense. In fact, I know I’m saying things about every part of his body and what it does to mine.

  “Mine, Iz. This. (thrust) Fucking. (thrust) Body. (thrust) Is. (thrust) Mine (final push so hard he detonates).”

  “Ooh. Oooh. YES, yes, yes, oh sweet Jesus.” It’s all I can get out as my world is fucking rocked.

  Braxton is breathing so hard, I just realize he came along with me. I must have blacked out, wow. I love it when he explodes and calls out my name and how the hell did I miss it?

  “Honey, did I miss something?” I am so out of breath right now, I am looking around like I totally lost some time.

  With sweat dripping down his face, Braxton wrinkles his forehead. “Excuse me?”

  “I swear I must have blacked out because I didn’t realize you even came with me. You usually call out my name when you do.” I say pushing the wet hair from my forehead trying to gain my wits.

  His smile gives way to his light chuckle lying down next to me all stretched out.

  “Made my girl black out? That’s excellent shit right there, proves that I am a stud.”

  I try to smack his drenched chest with my hand, but it’s so wet from sweat my hand just glides instead. Some may call it gross, but I love it. He is all sweaty from loving me. Yep, proud moment makes me giddy.

  Cuddling next to him, I lay my head on his wet chest. “Your ego, I swear, sometimes.”

  “Sparkplug, I’m not going to lie to you when I say it sucks you can’t have any more kids. I would love to have my baby inside of you.” He says, stroking the back of my head.

  I stay silent, no idea what to say honestly. The idea does hurt, but not having my daughter hurts more.

  “Baby we are trying to find her, but can I ask you a question?” Brax asks me with some hesitancy.

  “Sure,” I reply back.

  “What happened as to why you can’t have any more kids?” I knew he would ask, I just wish I knew more.

  “I had a tough time delivering Willow, lost a lot of blood and found out when I woke up that I couldn't have any more children.”

  That’s the truth. The doctor’s had to do surgery when my bleeding didn’t stop. I was lucky and didn’t need a hysterectomy, but surgery was required to stop the bleeding all the same. Not sure what they called it, but it worked so I didn’t press for more.

  “I’m sorry.”

  I reply, “Yeah, me too.”

  SAM’S HANDS ARE SHAKING as he still holds his phone out to me. Tearing my eyes from the screen to him, I gasp and cover my mouth. Why? Why is he showing this to me? I should be thanking him for telling me what Braxton could not. Hell, even Liam might know. Does this mean Kara knows? She would never lie to me, or not say something to me. I’m utterly repulsed and heartbroken, to say the least.

  Lowering my gaze, I walk back to my seat at the bar. Head held low, I twitch my thumbs on the bar. I want nothing more than to scream or throw something, but no, I just strum my thumbs shaking my head from side to side.

  I know Sam is waiting for me to respond somehow, so I just do what comes natural.

  “Shot of tequila Sam.” My voice is monotone, no feeling what-so-ever.

  Slapping his hand on the bar, Sam comes closer to me. Under his breath, he keeps asking himself ‘why’ and sighs. Raising my gaze, he is running his thumb over his bottom lip, most likely trying to figure out what to say.

  “Sam. Don’t. Shot, please. Now.”

  “Anything for you Izzy, but dammit.” Grabbing a shot glass and a bottle of Tequila, he pours one for me and one I am assuming for himself. Grabbing two bottles of beers, he opens mine, sliding it across the bar.

  Raising our shot glasses, we give a silent salute before drinking them down. Burns, it burns like hell. It’s a welcome feeling though. Taking my beer, I slam down a few big gulps to cool the burn.

  Relishing the coldness of my beer, I ask, “Sam, how the hell did you get that?”

  Sam looks down at his phone, pausing just staring at the image that just broke my heart.

  “Shit Izzy, I um, well.” He says, rubbing his forehead aggressively. “I let myself go down that road with her recently. Upon her passing out in my room, her phone buzzed with a message. I happened to look at it and realized it was from that guy in your past.”

  He looks pained as he brings up the subject of Dominic. I can tell because his grimace lingers.

  Sam points to his phone and says, “I decided to do some snooping while she was passed out. I found some interesting texts she sent to Brax as well as some selfies she had taken.”

  Rubbing his chest, he squeezes one eye shut saying, “This is one of the pictures I found.”

  I am about to say something when I hear the bar door open and in strolls Kara, Liam and followed by, you guessed it Braxton. Well, the man of the hour is here, and suddenly I am choking on my beer in a fit of nerves. I downed this one in record-time nodding for Sam to get me another one and quick like.

  Sam’s eyes grow wide as he crosses his arms waiting to see what I’m going to do with my new found knowledge. He knows I can be a loose cannon when fueled and right now my fuel indicator is pushing full. I plaster on my most fake smile, keeping eye contact with Sam until the mirror catches Braxton walking up behind me smiling from ear to ear with no care in the world. Too bad I’m about to ruin the day for him and wipe that smile off of his face.

  “Sam, how are you buddy?” Braxton casually says as if they are old friends, when, in fact, the opposite is true. They don’t like each other on most days. Another disaster thanks to Tiffany aka ‘local whore’.

  I keep my head down and play with the bottle of beer in my hands. Kara walks over and nudges my shoulder with hers as she sits and orders them all a round of beers. Sam gives Braxton his ‘less than friendly’ glare. The tension is so thick you couldn’t cut it with a knife if you wanted to.

  “Not feeling the love in this room, what gives?” Kara stares at me to Sam and then to Braxton. Braxton shakes his head and moves to get a better look at my face. I try to hide it fanning my hair to fall forward, making it that much harder for him to see me.

  “Izzy, you okay babe?” He asks me with an odd expression looking around the room at everyone else thinking he missed something.

  The look of concern on his face plays with my mind all the while the only thing I want is to kick him in the family jewels for the image I just had to witness.

  “Funny thing you should
ask me that.” I casually say shrugging my shoulders. I’m holding back my urge to slap him, or better yet throw my beer at his head.

  Braxton puts his arm around my shoulder and tries to pull me into a sideways hug, too bad I held my position as, not to move a muscle.

  “What the hell is wrong Izzy? Sam, you mind explaining?” Braxton’s tone is cold, so I glance at his reflection in the mirror finding his glare is menacing all directed at Sam.

  “Jesus how do you do it?” Sam glares at Braxton holding up his hands as if questioning his sanity. “I mean you have Izzy, this woman any man would die for and you just, throw it away and for what? A quick lay?”

  While Sam is talking Braxton just looks confused and seems to be getting irritated by the minute. My mouth is open, staring at Sam with mixed apprehension because pissing Braxton off is like showing the color red to a bull. The low, menacing growls coming from Braxton only confirm this.

  “What the hell are you talking about Sam?” Braxton is standing right up to the bar and slams his hand down on top of it spilling his bottle of beer. No-one dares say a word. We are all stunned silent, and I take this moment to look up at all three of them. Liam, Kara and Braxton and each set of eyes tells me a story. Unfortunately, they tell me everything I need to know and yet don’t want to know.

  “Un-fucking-believable. To think, I could trust you.” Throwing my hands up, I’m beyond baffled. In a fit of hysterics, I say, “Seriously, not one of you could tell me the damn truth?”

  They all look at me dumbfounded. With eyes wide their guilt shows on their faces. I’m so mad, but mostly I’m hurt shaking my head with disgust. “All this time, you are all like poor Izzy, feeling sorry for Izzy. Oh my God, all three of you, make me sick. Wow, just wow!” I push Braxton back as I try to stand, needing to make my point.