The Spanish Prisoner and the Winslow Boy

by David Mamet

  SUSAN: (VO) And, so, as I said, I was just accidentally in the vicinity, and aren’t you courteous and all.

  ANGLE.

  ROSS sits down at the kitchen table, across from SUSAN.

  SUSAN: Yes. Well. (Pause. She takes a bite of a bagel.) Good. Make ’em right by my house. Right under my house. Small world, huh?

  Pause.

  ROSS takes an old sheath knife from the knife holder. It has the figure of a Boy Scout carved into the handle and, on the reverse, the logo “Be Prepared.” He uses it to start cutting a bagel.

  SUSAN: Nice knife.

  ROSS: Got it at the Boy Scouts.

  SUSAN: Hell of an organization.

  The teakettle begins whistling.

  ROSS: … a cup of tea …?

  SUSAN: No, thank you, no, I’m fine.

  He goes to make the tea. And she launches into her speech.

  SUSAN: Ever get the urge to do something “adventurous”? Um. In spite of the ancient wisdom against Interoffice Romances …?

  Camera brings ROSS back to his seat, where he sips his tea. He picks up the Sunshine Bakery bag and looks at it, for something to do.

  SUSAN: Look: Hey, look: Here’s the thing: You … um … I know that you’re in line for, for, for Higher Things. You got it written all over you. But, but … but … but you never get anything in life if you don’t speak out for it. (Pause) So I wanted to say: I, I’m a hell of a person. I’m Loyal and True, and I’m not too hard to look at, and I think you’re wonderful, and … (Pause) You know, life is so short. And there’re so few people you meet …

  Pause.

  ROSS clears his throat nervously.

  SUSAN: … so few people you meet who … perhaps you think I’m, I’m not, not of your “class,” uh …

  ROSS: Look, Susan, I …

  She picks up the knife.

  ANGLE, INS.

  She holds the knife to the camera.

  ANGLE. SUSAN.

  SUSAN: ’D you like the Boy Scouts?

  ROSS: Yes. I did. Learned a lot of things.

  SUSAN: (She nods.) You’re still a Boy Scout today. Aren’t you?

  ROSS: I don’t know what you mean.

  SUSAN: (Pause) You’re good. (Pause) You’re … you’re just a Good Nice Guy. (Pause) Pretty Rare. Look.

  ROSS: … Susan …

  SUSAN: Let me be your Good Deed Today. I promise you you won’t regret it. I promise you, Joe. Listen to me. If someone is drawn to you … if someone is so drawn to you …

  The phone rings. ROSS moves to the phone.

  SUSAN: You could just Let it Ring, and, you know, we could, um …

  ROSS: (To phone) Yes?

  JIMMY: (VO) Hello? This is Julian Dell. (Pause) I’m sorry. (Pause) I called to say I’m sorry.

  ROSS: (on phone) That’s alright.

  JIMMY: (VO) If you’re free tonight, my sister and I …

  ANGLE.

  ROSS on the phone. SUSAN, looking at him, expectantly. He hangs up the phone and turns to her.

  SUSAN: Oh. No. I see. Your Mother’s sick, or something, huh …?

  ROSS: No. It has to do with work. I have to work, tonight.

  SUSAN: (Nods) You have to “work” tonight. Huh … something with the new …?

  ROSS: … but it’s very lovely to see you …

  She nods to herself, shrugs.

  SUSAN: … well … well. I was in the neighborhood, anyway … (She smiles, picks up her coat. She turns back.) … ’f you ever feel the need of some company … or you want someone to cook you “dinner” … or “dinner and breakfast” … One Ten Hudson Street, Apartment Five. (Pause. She starts to exit.) One Ten Hudson Street. Above a Bakery.

  Pause.

  ROSS: … above a bakery …

  SUSAN: (Picks up the bag and toys with it) Above the Sunshine Bakery… wouldn’t that be just like me … (Pause) Well …

  Hold on the Sunshine Bakery logo on the bag. ROSS takes her to the door and sees her out. We rack focus to the bag and hear the sound of the door being bolted, then of water being turned on in the tub.

  36. INT. ELEVATOR, POSH APARTMENT BUILDING. NIGHT.

  ROSS, in a suit. Elevator stops. Doors open on the BODYGUARD type we saw on the launch standing in a large, loft-like living space, A BUTLER nods ROSS into the space. Bare white walls, several pieces of modern art, a low sofa, a French Provincial table with a computer on it, a lovely view of Manhattan. ROSS moves to the view. He looks down at the table; on it is a photo of a stunning woman in her midtwenties, holding a tennis racket, happy, obviously just having played. ROSS picks up the photograph.

  Sound of a door opening. ROSS looks up. JIMMY enters, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt.

  JIMMY: Hi. I’ll throw on some things and we’ll … d’you want a drink …?

  He motions to the BUTLER, who nods and moves off.

  JIMMY comes and sits next to ROSS, perching on the table.

  He motions, “Excuse me …,” and types several things into the computer.

  JIMMY: … gotta catch ’em ’fore they close …

  ROSS: Listen, I wanted to apologize. It’s possible I misremembered what we …

  JIMMY motions for him to stop.

  JIMMY: No, it was me, I’m sure it was my fault, and it was my fault, and I’m going to tell you why. (He motions to the photograph.)… wanna hear a sad story? My sister ’n’ I—since we were kids, all that we had was Each Other. (Pause) It’s still all we have. (Pause) I… um … I called her, and told her I wanted her to meet a … do you know what? Forget about it.

  The BUTLER emerges with a tray and two drinks.

  JIMMY: Eh? Who’re you calling a Crybaby …

  They drink. JIMMY’s eye is drawn to the computer, and he makes an entry.

  JIMMY: But, Lord, didn’t you get hot today!

  ROSS: (Smiles) Got on my High Horse, eh …?

  JIMMY: I suppose you did… got a little bit “ahead” of yourself … going on about “you Rich …” (He shakes his head.)… “you” rich …?

  ROSS: Did I say that …?

  JIMMY: … “You Rich …”

  ROSS: Well, you know, I … aha. Before you throw me at your little sister, I think I should correct a misimpression.

  JIMMY: Listening.

  ROSS: I’m just a Working Man.

  JIMMY: What’s a working man doing at the Barclay House. You a Jewel Thief?

  ROSS: My company brought me down.

  JIMMY: Sell a Million Widgets or something …?

  ROSS: Something like that.

  JIMMY: “Just a Working Man.” That your Dark Secret?

  ROSS: That’s right.

  JIMMY: Well, then that explains it.

  ROSS: Explains What?

  JIMMY: Your Good Manners.

  ROSS: Noble Savage.

  JIMMY: Noble Savage. Not even one Swiss Bank Account?

  ROSS: Wouldn’t even know how to open one.

  JIMMY: (Raises a finger) ’D you have a dog when you were young?

  ROSS: Yup, had a dog.

  JIMMY: What was his name …?

  ROSS: Paddy.

  JIMMY: (Types into the computer terminal) You now have a Swiss Bank Account. Anybody asks you. Credit Suisse de Lausanne, Code Word “Paddy.”

  ROSS: (Laughs) You just opened me a bank account …?

  JIMMY: Yeah.

  ROSS: Why?

  JIMMY: Lavish, awkward gesture. All of fifteen Swiss Francs in it. But, you ever want to impress anybody … they can find out that you have a Swiss Account, but the Swiss Laws prohibit the bank from revealing your Balance. Thus are All Men Made Equal. (He turns off the computer. He walks to a door.) Let me change, and let’s meet the little sister.

  37. EXT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT.

  ROSS and JIMMY, both in suits, getting out of the limo, as the DRIVER holds open the door. They enter what seems to be a residential building. They are greeted by a woman, MAÎTRESSE D’HÔTEL.

  MAÎTRESSE D’HÔTEL: Good evening, Mr. Dell … you ha
d a message … from Mrs. DaSilva.

  She hands him a small envelope, which he opens. He looks up to ROSS.

  JIMMY: Well, she ain’t feeling well. Sends her regrets. Can She Meet us Tomorrow, for Tennis …? You free? Ross: Certainly. I hope it’s nothing …

  JIMMY raises his hand—don’t disturb yourself.

  JIMMY: Would you call Mrs. DaSilva’s line please, Jane. Tell her tennis tomorrow would be fine. (To ROSS) Two o’clock? (ROSS nods.) Take two and call me in the morn——

  A tuxedoed MAÎTRE D’ comes up to them.

  MAÎTRE D’: Good evening, Mr. Dell.

  JIMMY: Hello, George, what’s good tonight …?

  MAÎTRE D’: (AS if at an old joke, or an old routine) It’s all good, Mr. Dell.

  JIMMY: What’d you have?

  MAÎTRE D’: (Smiles) I had the venison.

  JIMMY: Venison. I was hoping you’d say that. (To ROSS) In for a treat…

  They start to move past the MAÎTRE D’. The MAÎTRE D’ looks a bit distraught.

  JIMMY: ’D is it …? (Pause)

  MAÎTRE D’: It’s Members Only tonight, Mr. Dell.

  JIMMY: Well, forget about it. Big deal.

  MAÎTRE D’: … it’s the board meeting after the meal, and …

  ROSS: … that’s fine, let’s go somewhere el——

  JIMMY: Oh, Lord have Mercy, who do you have to know in this town … (To MAÎTRE D’) You sending me out for a burger …?

  MAÎTRE D’: Mr. Dell, if there were any …

  JIMMY: No, I know. No, No, Saturday Night, “Members Only …” Well … hell… gimme a membership form.

  Beat.

  The MAÎTRE D’ nods and retreats into a cubicle.

  ROSS: Jimmy, seriously, you don’t have to go to all this …

  JIMMY: It’s my Nature, Lad, I’m a Problem Solver with a Heart of … speaking of Gold … (He is handed a form by the MAÎTRE D’. Of form) Look at this … got more gold on it than … (He flourishes the form at ROSS. We see it is very ornate.) … we aren’t electing him “Pope,” or anything, we are …

  ROSS: Really, I …

  JIMMY: Oh, hell, just sign it, and let’s, What is the phrase …? “Chow down.” … just sign the damn thing …

  ANGLE, INS.

  The very elaborate form is put down, JIMMY’s hands hold it still, and ROSS signs it.

  ANGLE.

  The form is handed back to the MAÎTRE D’, who glances at it and leads them across the hall toward the restaurant.

  MAÎTRE D’: (As he holds open the door) Welcome to the club, Mr. Ross.

  38. INT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT.

  ROSS and JIMMY over brandy.

  ROSS: What do I owe you for the Membership?

  JIMMY: D’you know what, Forget about it. Pay me when your Ship comes in.

  ROSS: Well, do you know what—that may be “presently.”

  JIMMY: Glad to hear it! Get a tip onna horse?

  ROSS: (Smiles) The widgets—We’re about to bring out a new …

  JIMMY: … Put it in the Bank. Buy AT and T, and do the American Thing.

  ROSS: What’s that?

  JIMMY: Marry a Rich Widow.

  ROSS: We used to say, “A nymphomaniac who owns a Liquor Store.”

  JIMMY: Well, that’s right. Money isn’t everything.

  ROSS: That’s what my boss says.

  JIMMY: Does he?

  ROSS: That’s right.

  JIMMY: It’s like a New Word. Never heard the word before, then, all of a sudden, you hear it three times in one day. “Money isn’t Everything” … (Pause) You see? This is what got my Sister. (Pause) You spend your life being told to protect yourself against fortune hunters … and so you reject everyone. And the only ones with the wiles to bypass your defenses are the fortune hunters. (Pause) And she married a swine.

  He throws up his bands, as if to say, “Well, that’s over, and why dwell on unpleasantness …?”

  ROSS: Well, I think you have to separate business, and personal life.

  JIMMY: One thing my father taught me about business: do business as if each person you do business with is trying to screw you, because most likely they are. And if they’re not, you can be pleasantly surprised. You run your personal life that way …

  ROSS: (Laughs)… my father knew about business … “Work hard—take all the overtime you can get.”

  JIMMY: You liked your father, eh?

  ROSS: I loved my father.

  JIMMY: What’d he do?

  ROSS: Worked like a dog, all his life.

  JIMMY: Well, he left you a hell of a legacy. (He yawns, looks at his watch.) I’m sure he’d be proud of you. I’m sure he would.

  ROSS: How can you say that?

  JIMMY: (Pause) People aren’t that complicated, Joe. Good people, bad people … they generally look like what they are.

  ROSS: Is that so?

  JIMMY: It is.

  ROSS: Then why are so many people having such difficulty?

  JIMMY: That is the question baffles me … play some tennis tomorrow …

  ROSS: Two o’clock.

  39. INT. MIDTOWN TENNIS COURTS. DAY.

  ROSS bouncing a tennis ball off the wall of a deserted court. He looks up as JIMMY approaches. Both wear tennis togs.

  JIMMY: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I get your … (A phone rings, JIMMY takes a pocket phone out and speaks into it.) Yes? Transfer it from the A account and … well, then, take it from the … that’s right … thank you … then … (To ROSS) What’ve you done with her …?

  ROSS smiles, shrugs.

  JIMMY: (Shrugs. Into phone) Then … no. Close out the account, that’s alright, just close it out, and put it in the … that’s right. Put it in the Channel Islands Liquid … thank you … no, no, get it in writing. Get it in, I don’t care what the Legal Department said about verbal agr——… you tell them I said to Write it Down. Who gets to do what to who. Thank you … (He hangs up.) Where’s a girl …? (Checks his watch)

  ROSS: I thought you had her …

  JIMMY: (Of the phone) You know what Sam Goldwyn said about Verbal Agreements. Verbal Agreements aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

  ROSS: That’s what my boss just said to me.

  JIMMY: In re: what?

  ROSS: I’ve got this, well, I have a new … I did something for the Company. And … they owe me something. I think I need to “get it in writing.”

  JIMMY: I would. What do they owe you?

  ROSS: I think they owe me a lot of money.

  JIMMY: What do you mean, “You think”?

  ROSS: I invented … I invented something for them, it’s …

  Both men’s attention is drawn to a WOMAN who comes out of a locker room. She turns, and JIMMY indicates it is not his sister.

  Pause.

  JIMMY looks at his watch, takes out his phone, and begins to dial.

  ROSS: It’s a “work for hire,” they “own” it, but…

  JIMMY: (Into phone) Hello, is Mrs. DaSilva in …? (To Ross,) Who told you it was a Work for Hire …?

  ROSS: Well … they did … I …

  JIMMY: You invented it?

  ROSS: Yes, I and a … I’m sure it belongs to them, I was in their employ, and …

  JIMMY: (Into the phone) No, it is her Brother … who am I speaking to …? (To ROSS) There’s no reason you should be that sure. You may very well have a proprietary interest in this … what is it …? (To phone. He conducts a conversation in some foreign language, then hangs up. To ROSS) She has the flu. (Pause) She has the flu. (Pause) I’m sorry … you were saying? I was saying: don’t wish it away. You have any questions about the, uh … Know What You Own. You have a contract with this company?

  ROSS: I do.

  JIMMY: Take it to a lawyer. And to a lawyer who specializes in copyright and contract law.

  ROSS: I have a friend who’s a lawyer … he works for the company, he …

  JIMMY: What’s his name?

  ROSS: George Lang … he works for the company �
�

  JIMMY: (Smiles) Due respect for Mr. Lang, but, if I may … what you want … you want an independent view … I’d be glad to …

  ROSS: Um. Look, look, I appreciate it. Please don’t take it personally, but I … um …

  JIMMY: … the phrase is, “Don’t want to mix Business and Pleasure.”

  ROSS: No no, that’s not it. I don’t know that I want to adopt an adversary position toward the Company …

  JIMMY: … but you are in an adversarial position.

  ROSS: No, no, I think you’re wrong …

  JIMMY: I think you’ll find, if what you’ve done for them is valuable, as you say it is, that if they are indebted to you morally, but not legally, my experience is that they will begin to act cruelly toward you, to assuage their guilt.

  Pause.

  ROSS: How’s your sister?

  JIMMY: Alright, but if you need some help, ask for it. She’s sick, by the way. Down with the Flu.

  ROSS: A lot of it going around.

  JIMMY: … want to hit some balls …?

  40. INT. OFFICE SUITE. DAY.

  ROSS, arriving in the office, passes through the reception area. PEOPLE exchanging “good mornings” as he passes the RECEPTIONIST.

  RECEPTIONIST: Oh, Mr. Ross, a Mr. Julian Dell called for you …

  KLEIN sticks his head out of his office and calls to

  ROSS.

  KLEIN: Joe, could you come in here a moment, please …

  RECEPTIONIST: … no message, he said he would call back 111——

  KLEIN: … Joe …?

  ROSS motions, “One moment.”

  ROSS: (To RECEPTIONIST) Thank you … Oh. Could you please arrange to have some flowers sent for me …?

  RECEPTIONIST: On company business …?

  ROSS: No, for me personally. To a Mrs. Anna DaSilva, at the San Remo: I am most s——

  SUSAN appears, coming down the corridor with a file in her arms.

  SUSAN: (As she stops at the receptionist desk) Good morning, Mr. Ross, I…

  RECEPTIONIST: (To ROSS) … the card …?

  He motions to her, “Never mind.”

  ROSS: I’ll get back to it later.

  KLEIN: (From his office) … Joe …?

  SUSAN: (As ROSS enters KLEIN’s office) Aha! Captured it with my trusty camera! (She holds her camera up.) I got my photos back, and I have something to …

  ROSS nods, “Yes, yes, yes,” and proceeds to KLEIN’s office.