Long Hard Fall

by Marie Johnston

  “Listen to you, you wise old bastard.”

  Dillon flipped him off and strolled toward his own place, then stopped. “But it’ll be better to be honest about Daniels earlier rather than later. He’s been gone almost three years. It’ll be hard for her, hard for her parents, but better in the long run.” Dillon resumed his trek.

  Better for who? Cash could sit on a secret like that and not feel one ounce of guilt. Crashing Abbi and her parents’ world was something he’d avoid. “I think it’s best they don’t know.”

  “I think so, too. But you know. And you’re in a relationship with his sister, which also means his parents. Keeping it to yourself will only erode what’s growing between you. But, hell, it’s not like I can say do it or don’t. It’s a tough call.” He tossed him a quick wave and continued back to his house.

  No. There was no easy answer, no winners. Abbi’s family had already lost. Cash’s gaze landed on his house. Her car was in the driveway.

  Dillon’s first piece of advice registered. Not like starting over, but it kind of is.

  ***

  Abbi scratched her nose with her pinky and the paintbrush she held swiped her hair. “Dammit!”

  She squinted as she jerked it away from her head. Had she painted her damn hair?

  Tossing the brush down on the tray, she scowled at the whole room. Painting today wasn’t nearly as fun. Not even therapeutic. She’d had a crappy night’s sleep, running through her mind what she should’ve done differently. A thousand scenarios and she really couldn’t think of anything she could change. At no point had there been any reason to say, “Hey, I think my ex-boyfriend doesn’t think he’s my ex and while I technically still live with him, I refuse to spend one more hour under the same roof.”

  Maybe some of that should’ve come up?

  Ugh. She snagged a rag off the ground and batted at her hair. Cash might be back soon, but did it matter what she looked like? He’d shut himself in his bedroom—without her—and snuck off before she’d woken. But what had she expected, that everything would be back to the way it had been? For the thirtieth time she asked herself if she should just go back home. She’d done what had been dogging her and she’d faced Ellis. All that was left was moving out, and perhaps it was best to do that before she went back to work.

  Then there were her parents. She’d purposely left her phone on silent, in her luggage.

  Abbi stared forlornly at the paint tray. She had another wall to finish. If she completed the room and cleaned all her supplies up, would he even notice?

  Would he notice if she just left?

  The longer she pondered it, the smarter the idea sounded. She couldn’t avoid her parents forever, and extra steel lined her spine after facing Ellis. Her parents couldn’t bully her into getting back with him.

  No, but they could berate her and constantly and comprehensively hound her about what she’d done until she caved on other issues just to make them happy.

  God, she even knew she did it. It was like she regressed ten years around them. One mention of Perry and the conversation was over.

  “Hey.”

  She whipped around. Cash leaned against the doorframe, his arms folded. His tan jacket couldn’t hide his lean, muscular physique.

  “Hey.” Afraid to get her hopes up, she feathered her hair away from her head.

  His gaze drifted to her paint-splattered hair. He didn’t exactly smile, but the heaviness in his gaze lifted just a little. “You don’t have to paint.”

  “I didn’t want to leave.” Her honesty surprised even her. She forced herself not to fidget under his vivid blue gaze.

  “I’m glad you didn’t,” he finally said.

  Relief swelled, but she tamped that shit down. He had hang-ups for a good reason. This was new territory for him. Her, too.

  “You are?” she asked. Yeah, they were making leaps and bounds in this relationship, but it was more than she’d expected when she’d woken up to an empty house.

  He adjusted his baseball cap and recrossed his arms. “You were kind of right. Ellis is none of my business and you said you were single when we met. I either believe you or I don’t.” His serious expression didn’t bolster her hopes that he truly believed her, or wanted to. “I’d like to trust you.”

  “I choose to trust you.”

  His brows popped up. Had he not thought it took trust on her part, too?

  She lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “When I go back to Green Bay, I have to know that you’re not trolling town for women, just like you have to trust that I’m not—” she wrinkled her nose in distaste, “—dabbling in life with Ellis.”

  “The only pussy I plan to pick up is Alfalfa. And maybe Dutchie and Baron. Oh, and Dillon has Trixie and Dixie.”

  A smile tugged at her lips. “That’s getting to be a lot of pussy.”

  He grinned. “What can I say? They can’t resist me.” He pushed off the door and crossed to her. He gently picked at the paint in her hair. “Hungry?”

  In so many ways, but she sensed it was too soon for intimacy, though the conversation they’d just had was deeper than any she’d had in previous relationships.

  “I didn’t eat breakfast.”

  Regret flashed through his gaze. He dropped a kiss on her forehead. She shut her eyes and let his heat soothe her raw nerves.

  “Brunch it is.” When he left the room, she immediately wanted him back.

  She’d almost lost him, and it had disturbed her. Before Ellis, her long-term relationships had been shallow. With Ellis, it’d been one-sided, with her giving him all the power. But she and Cash were on equal footing, like partners should be.

  She cleaned up her paint supplies. Cash’s voice drifted in; he must be on the phone.

  Wandering through the rooms, she mentally tallied what she’d need if Cash gave her free rein to dress them all up. Only she couldn’t stop at paint colors. Window dressings danced across her mind and she ran a finger along the trim. It could use a good overhaul, too. Her creative side luxuriated in the possibilities. To go from paper to an actual, real-life canvas was heaven. At home, she’d always helped Mom and Dad, but decor had been their decision. Abbi and Perry had followed their commands.

  Finishing her daydreams in the living room, she stayed out of the kitchen. From his even tone, Cash must be talking to his family. What was he saving them from now?

  No wonder he and Perry had gotten along. She’d told herself she was coming here for closure, for answers even, but she hadn’t known about what. She’d overheard Mom often crying to Dad. Why had it just been Perry killed? Of course, Mom hadn’t wanted anyone else to lose a loved one, but there’d been no other injuries. Just Perry.

  Abbi’s eyes burned and she swallowed hard. During the dark days after recovering from their loss, Mom had gone into tirades about a mistake the army must’ve made that had led to Perry’s death. It had been covered up, hush-hush. Abbi had listened to several discussions about what could’ve happened, what might’ve been left unsaid. They’d even demanded answers but had been told the same story over and over again.

  She picked up the corner of the curtains and let the worn, old material slide through her fingers. Cash and Dillon had come back to their own lives, like everyone else who’d served with Perry. Could she blame them? Maybe a little, but no longer. In the end, her brother was gone and never coming back.

  A hot tear slid down her cheek. She hastily wiped it away as Cash said good-bye to whoever was on the phone.

  He stayed in the kitchen, but a pan banged louder than normal. She didn’t go in. Her eyes were probably a bit bloodshot. She had no wish to discuss what she’d been thinking about.

  “Everything okay?” she called.

  “For me, yeah. For my mom that just called and asked why I didn’t try to talk Sissy out of joining the navy, no. And not for my dad, who asked why my mom couldn’t call and tell him herself and who was the guy she moved in with.”

  Ugh. Why did they have to go through him for
all their drama? “Sounds like a delightful conversation.” Squinting, she looked for any reflection for herself in the window, but no luck. She went to the kitchen anyway, following the smell of bacon and eggs. “But Hannah called your mom at least.”

  “More like Mom got it out of her.”

  “Did you tell your dad to ask for himself who the new dude was?”

  He grimaced. “No, because I don’t even want to know.” Her face must’ve registered surprise because he added, “I want her happy. I don’t want specifics. Besides, it’s just weird.”

  “I understand. But they’re all adults and you don’t need to be protecting them.”

  He shrugged noncommittally and dished up their plates. “The sun’s out and for once, the wind hasn’t picked up. Want to sit on the back deck?”

  She went outside with him and over breakfast she mentioned some of her ideas for paint colors and home improvements.

  “Knock yourself out.”

  A warm glow ignited in her belly. “But was there anything you didn’t like?”

  He shook his head. “What do I know about any of it? You’d do better than me. And it needs it.”

  “You have to live in it every day, though.”

  They both fell silent. Her statement highlighted the unknown at the end of her vacation.

  He spoke first. “What’s going to happen after you go home?”

  “I’ll tolerate my parents’ intrusion into my life until I can find my own place. Then work at the bank until I can find something that doesn’t kill my soul.”

  She’d said it with a smile, but Cash’s expression remained introspective. “And we keep seeing each other?”

  “It’s only an eight-hour drive.” Her voice sounded empty. Only eight hours.

  “I could go there and visit.”

  She nodded. “And I could come up here.”

  They fell quiet again.

  Cash picked up his napkin and folded it. “Any chance…” He gave his head a shake.

  “Any chance, what?”

  He seemed at a loss for words for a minute, then met her gaze. “My roots are here. It’s not fair to ask you to move, but is there a chance that someday, you’d be willing to move to Moore…to here?”

  Her heart soared and she wanted to say Yes! How’s now sound? but she couldn’t bring herself to prove everyone right about how impulsive she was. Still, she couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “I think there’s a good chance.”

  Warmth infused his gaze, until it turned to smoldering heat. “The dishes can wait.”

  She bit her lip and stood, sliding her hand into his. Giddiness filled her from head to toe. Nothing was going to ruin this day.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The cows were moving in one large group in the right direction. Cash finally let himself relax for a minute. He’d been doing this every year, in the spring and fall. These cows knew the drill and the promise of new food, but it didn’t mean that shit couldn’t happen. But. They couldn’t have picked a calmer day to start moving cattle. After he’d untangled himself from Abbi’s soft body, he’d called Aaron to see if he could help move one of the smaller herds and get a jump on things for the weekend.

  That’d give him more time with Abbi before she went back home.

  His chest tightened. He didn’t like the idea of her not being around. She brought so much color to his world, not just with her mad home improvements skills. As the foundation for his family, he had little support. Lately, though, he wasn’t so much foundation as the glue keeping the four of them from ripping apart and scattering to the winds.

  What would family get-togethers be like? Would Mom even come back? This was her family, but only in-laws really. He was her son, but…

  Cash coughed as his throat suddenly grew thick. Well, Mom wouldn’t need him anymore as a go-between as she slowly cut off her soon to be ex-husband. Sissy wouldn’t be coming back to Moore for years while she served in the navy.

  Cash adjusted his hat as fear raced through him. Fuck, was he a twenty-nine-year-old man crying about his mommy?

  Yeah, he kind of was.

  But if Abbi was around, however much of their relationship Mom wanted to keep…it’d be all right.

  Aaron and his gelding, Twitty—short for Conway Twitty—fell into step beside Cash. “I hear you and that girl are still seeing each other.”

  “Abbi, and yes. She’ll have to go back home soon, but eventually, you know…”

  “Nice. She seemed nice. And she can put up with you, so…” Aaron chuckled when Cash flipped him off. “Hey, if she’s got any single cousins, have her bring ’em out.”

  Cash smiled, but his moment of relaxation was stained with sympathy. Aaron had a hard time dating and keeping a girl. His family relied on him too much, and while he was a couple of years younger than Cash, he was at the age where women ran fast when they met a guy like that. “You’ll find someone, Aaron. Maybe Travis can be your wingman.”

  Aaron snorted and his horse nickered. “Travis is nursing his broken heart too much to think about dating.”

  “Good thing he didn’t marry her, though.” Cash winced to himself. Travis’s situation wasn’t much different than Cash’s in that he’d found a city girl. But his ex couldn’t bring herself to downgrade to the country and she’d never seemed as comfortable around their family and property. Unlike Abbi.

  A clear blue sky stretched over him and his land. Things were looking up. It seemed like a fantasy to roll out of bed after a night with the sexiest girl he’d ever met, go out and do what he loved, then come home, back into her arms. But he was living the dream today.

  His phone rang and he tugged it out of his pocket. Aaron trotted off with Twitty to give Cash privacy.

  Cash’s optimism wavered.

  “Hi, Dad.”

  “Can you tell your mom I need to talk with her?”

  Cash rolled his gaze skyward. “She’s not answering?”

  Dad released a gusty breath. “No. She needs to act like an adult about this. We shouldn’t have to go through our lawyers for everything.”

  She probably worried that he’d sway her just like he had for the last thirty-plus years. “I can let her know, but I can’t make promises about whether she’ll talk with you.”

  “I appreciate it. I’m worried about her and this new man.”

  Cash repressed a sigh. Dad could’ve worried a little more before it got to this point. Cash disconnected but didn’t feel like talking to Mom just yet. He texted her and pocketed his phone. His cattle and Abbi were much better subjects to dwell on.

  His phone rang again.

  Seriously… “Hey, Sissy.”

  “Oh. My. God. Mom and Dad have been on me for hours.”

  “What did you think they’d do with the news?”

  “Let me make my own damn decisions.”

  Cash couldn’t hold back this sigh. “Your past decision-making hasn’t impressed them. They’re worried. They’ll get over it. Look on the bright side: when you ship out, they won’t be able to get ahold of you.”

  “That kind of makes me feel better. Didn’t you tell them that I talked to the recruiter and everything’s set up, that it’s my decision?”

  At least ten times. “Yes, and they were upset I didn’t hold your hand all the way through. Look, Sissy, the best way to show them you’re serious is to do it and be the best sailor you can be. If you regret it, own it and finish your enlistment.”

  “Yeah, but can you tell them to quit bugging me?”

  As if that would help. “Sure, but I can’t make any promises.” Hadn’t he just said that?

  “Tell them that I’m serious. I have a good feeling about the navy.”

  “You know, you can tell them yourself.”

  “I did, but they’ll listen to you.”

  “I’ll talk to them again.” Lord knew, both Mom and Dad would surely call by the end of the day. He scanned the pasture. He and Aaron were nearing the corrals where Travis waited on his bay
, Reba, and Abbi perched on the thick corral poles. She waved to Cash. “I gotta go, Sissy. Just don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it.”

  For the next hour, they could call all they wanted, but Cash wasn’t going to answer. He grinned at Abbi and brought Patsy Cline to a trot.

  ***

  Abbi fisted her reins and glanced around. Gorgeous men surrounded her, all astride beautiful beasts.

  God, could this be her life? Of course, she wasn’t attracted to any of them other than Cash, who stuck close to her on Patsy Cline. The four cousins he ran the Walker Five with had arrived this morning and now surrounded the eighty cows they were driving to their winter pasture. Abbi had even gotten to meet the dark-haired cousin’s fiancée. Cash had asked if Josie was going to help with the cattle drive and the exotic beauty had laughed and said there was a driveshaft calling her name. Then she’d winked at Brock and driven off in her muscle car.

  And when Abbi had said she would love to drive a car like that, Cash had asked Brock. His cousin had said to stop over and Josie would take her out.

  So she was helping with a real-life cattle drive, albeit a short one, and then she’d get to go drive a Mustang.

  How fucking cool was that?

  And these guys lived this life. And Cash wanted her to be a part of his life.

  She couldn’t fight her grin.

  “Fun, isn’t it?”

  She glanced at Cash. Not only was he drool-worthy sitting astride his horse, but his posture was textbook. Wide shoulders, straight back, head held high. She looked at Dillon, Brock, Aaron, and Travis. All the same. Their hips rocked with their horses’ movements, their heads swiveled as they checked on cattle, ball caps pulled down low, but they rode with confidence.

  And she was one of them! Minus the ball cap.

  “This is so fun.”

  Cash’s easy smile warmed her from the inside out. She had been about to mount him after they ate breakfast, but Dillon had arrived, judiciously honking the horn as he’d rounded the house. Abbi had dived back into her jeans and Cash had tucked himself back into his own pants.

  They were so going to pick up where they had left off once this cattle business was done.