Hardwired

by Meredith Wild

  I peeked out to the street for his car. Not seeing it, I considered texting him, but what would I say? I missed him, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.

  ***

  I arrived at Angelcom a few minutes ahead of schedule. I entered the reception area and the same frumpy brunette greeted me with a tight smile and walked me down the hall into Max’s personal office. Like the conference room, it featured a wall of windows with a view of the Harbor and the skyline to the north. Dressed in an impeccable black suit, Max pored over some paperwork at his desk. He stood up when he saw me, circling the desk to shake my hand and give me a polite kiss on the cheek.

  “Erica, you look beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” I didn’t know what else to say, but I self-consciously smoothed back my hair, already tucked tightly into a twist. I tried to appear unaffected by Max’s new level of comfort with me. He motioned to a small round table in his office.

  He peppered me with all the right questions, ones I had expected thanks to Blake. I answered them expertly, painting an accurate and hopefully attractive picture of the venture. After about an hour, he paused and looked at me for a moment.

  “What?” Was this the end of the meeting? A ball of nervous energy formed in my stomach.

  “I’m very impressed, Erica. You’ve covered all the bases. I really don’t think I can come up with anything more.”

  I clicked my pen nervously. Fessing up about Blake’s involvement now would be better than Max getting wind of it later. “Blake’s been really helpful, actually. He worked through a lot of this with me, so I suppose I can’t take all the credit.”

  He paused, staring silently at me. “Is that right?”

  “I can see why his businesses do so well. He’s extremely thorough.”

  A frown marred Max’s brow. “He’s not as perfect as you might think.”

  “Well, no one’s perfect.”

  “Agreed, but Blake’s lucky he’s not rotting in a jail cell right now. Every success he’s had is because of the opportunities my father gave him. He’d do well to remember that.”

  A new brand of anxiety coursed through me with this information. What trouble could have landed Blake in jail? My mind raced through the possibilities. Clearly the two had history, and Blake, not surprisingly, had kept me in the dark despite all our discussions about investing with Max.

  I had always thought of Max as Blake’s peer, a colleague. With this bad blood between them, why did they share a place on the board of the company?

  “In any case, he missed his chance on this one, I suppose.” He changed again, back to calm, charming Max.

  The transformation gave me an eerie feeling, but I tried to ignore it.

  “That’s true,” I said. Admittedly, I was confused by Blake’s active interest in not only me, but my company, especially after such a dramatic review and refusal at the start.

  “Let’s make this happen, Erica,” Max said abruptly. “I think there’s real potential here, and I’d like to be part of it.”

  The ball of nervous energy dissipated as relief and happiness flowed through me. “Wonderful. Where do we go from here?”

  “Let me draw up the paperwork. There are legalities we’ll need to work through, but I should be able to have a term sheet ready to review in a week or two. Hopefully we can get this off the ground quickly. If it ends up taking longer, I can arrange for rolling funds in the interim so you guys aren’t in a pinch.”

  I smiled broadly. “That sounds great. I’ll follow your lead then.”

  “Perfect. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll be in touch.”

  We rose and shook hands, and I left the building wanting to shout the good news off the rooftops. We did it! All the work, the stress, and the multitasking. God, the multitasking. Being able to juggle school and not give up on Clozpin as a side project had been a miracle in itself. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my numbers, trying to decide who to call.

  One name stood out.

  I’d been hard on Blake. But would this have gone so smoothly without his help? I called him and it went to voicemail.

  “Hey, Blake. I just wanted you to be the first to know that Max is moving forward with the deal. He’s drawing up the paperwork next week. So, great news. Thank you. For everything.”

  I hung up and rang Alli next, but the call went to voicemail too. I checked the time. It was nearly eleven a.m., and I couldn’t fight the feeling that Heath was becoming a less than healthy influence on my best friend. Something was off with him, but I needed to get to the bottom of it before I could pass judgment. In the meantime, I would figure out a way to visit sooner rather than later.

  I switched out of my heels into some flats and walked home, wanting to get some exercise and take advantage of the mild morning that was growing hotter by the hour. Finally, summer had arrived.

  ***

  The apartment was silent all the next morning. Maybe this cohabitation with Sid could work after all. We were on totally different schedules, which made it seem like I had the place to myself most of the time.

  I wrote up an organizational chart for positions that we might want to fill in the next six months. A marketing director was a top priority. Getting out of my shell and networking was important and something I fully intended to continue, but I needed to be running the site and overseeing all operations. I couldn’t be responsible for pulling in all the paid accounts, keeping track of finances, maintenance, and now reporting back to Max with our periodic progress. Losing Alli from the team was a setback, but there were hundreds of eager professionals in the city waiting for an opportunity like this. I set to work drafting roles and responsibilities for the job when Blake texted me.

  Congrats. Top of the Hub tonight to celebrate. Be ready at 7.

  His communication threw me for a loop. Why didn’t he just call me? He was being distant for some reason, but apparently he was still in the mood to celebrate. At one of the best restaurants in the city no less, but not seeing him for a while made me worry about what he was actually thinking. Was it the good night kiss snub? Did he think I was being a tease because I couldn’t stop melting around him and then pushing him away?

  See you at seven, I replied.

  My focus immediately shifted from ideal marketing director qualities to what I would wear tonight. The irony of Blake implying that seeing someone would be distracting for the venture, when he was now in the very position to be that distraction, was not lost on me. Still, I rifled through the contents of my closet for something suitable to wear. I huffed, empty-handed. I missed Alli’s fashion sense and her ample wardrobe.

  I called Marie, hoping she was nearby.

  “Help!” I said with mock panic.

  “What’s up, baby girl?”

  “I got the funding, and I’m going out tonight to celebrate.”

  “I knew it. Congratulations!”

  “But I have nothing to wear.”

  She laughed, a throaty sound that made me smile. “Honey, that’s a problem we can fix. Do you want to grab some lunch before we hit the stores?”

  “Absolutely. Thank you.”

  After days with techies and suits, I needed girl time. A couple hours later we were seated at The Vine. The beautiful little Mediterranean open air restaurant was tucked in the basement floor of a brownstone on Newbury Street, one of the most exclusive and expensive shopping districts in the city. Not surprisingly, it was only a few short blocks away from the new apartment. Marie and I sipped iced tea and shared calamari while we caught up.

  “So tell me about your date,” Marie said.

  I paused, contemplating how to bring her up to speed on everything Blake had thrown at me lately. “You don’t happen to remember that guy I literally ran into at the restaurant the other night?” Butterflies danced in my belly at the thought of my first chance meeting with Blake.

  She stilled, and her beautiful brown eyes widened. “You’re kidding me.”

  “Not kidding. He’s t
he executive director for the angel investment group who is giving us the funding.” I skipped the part about him seducing me in Las Vegas and luring me to live in his apartment building. Marie wasn’t my mother, but she did get protective at times.

  “Wow, that sounds right up your alley.”

  “Hardly. He’s so out of my league. It’s actually incredibly intimidating.”

  “I don’t suppose a busy guy like that would spend time with you if he thought you were out of his league.”

  I sighed. I wished I knew what Blake was thinking, but he had me too busy sorting out my business to pry much. “I guess not. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind so I don’t really know what to think.” I poked at my salad. “To be honest, Marie, I don’t know up from down right now.”

  “That’s how love goes, baby.” She shook her head with a smile.

  Love? Leave it to Marie, the hopeless romantic, to even think it. Blake was a magnificent distraction, but that had nothing to do with love.

  “I’m not sure we’re there, or if we’ll ever be.”

  She cocked her head, a half smile curling her lip. “You never know. Love can sneak up on you in a heartbeat, even when you aren’t looking for it.”

  I nodded with a nervous smile.

  “Suppose so. What’s new with Richard anyway?”

  Her soft smile transformed into a full one as she launched into the details of their last date. I settled back into my seat, trying to listen, but all I could think about was that four letter word. Except I had no room in my life for love right now.

  CHAPTER TEN

  I pretended to work the rest of the afternoon, but really I was silently counting down the minutes until I would see Blake. I was eager to celebrate the deal with Max, but I had missed seeing Blake lately. Now I felt as if I owed this milestone of success in large part to his support. Even if that support came with all the sexual tension that I was trying to make sense of between us, I was grateful for it all the same.

  As the hour grew closer, I slipped into the sexy, overpriced cocktail dress Marie had helped me pick out. Solid black, with a thin white strip along the tulip hem, the garment was dressy but still suited the hot day with tiny spaghetti straps and light layers of chiffon. I paired the outfit with some strappy heels and silver dangle earrings, and I pinned my hair up in a loose bun.

  We would see what Blake had to say about all this, I thought. I touched up my smoky gray eye shadow. With or without Blake, I felt like a million bucks and I wanted to look great tonight. Alli would be proud.

  Sid was rummaging through the fridge when I emerged from my bedroom, my heels clicking loudly across the floor. I stopped at the breakfast bar to wait for Blake. Sid turned and saw me, his eyes wide.

  “What?” I said, suddenly concerned that I didn’t look nearly as good as I thought I did.

  “Uh—” He blinked. “Nothing. You look really nice.” He smiled and disappeared back to his bedroom in time for Blake to knock on the door.

  After another second he let himself in and slowed as I circled the island to greet him. He wore the same charcoal gray suit from Vegas, with a freshly pressed white shirt. A bit of stubble offset the formality of his attire. Damn. I sauntered over, trying like hell to stay steady on my heels, savoring the look of pure carnal appreciation that swept his face.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “You’re killing me in that dress.”

  I bit my lip, never knowing what he might do when we were alone like this. With a feather-light touch, he traced a line from my cheek to my chin, tipping my face toward him before giving me a slow, sweet kiss that had me breathless at the finish.

  We walked into the busy restaurant, and the maître d’ escorted us without delay to a table for two that seemed private by way of the wall of wine separating us from the main dining area. Through the huge windows, Boston sprawled. Below, dozens of tiny white sails dotted the Charles River and the sunset reflected off its meandering path through the city.

  “You know how I love a good view,” I murmured. I loved that we were ending this perfect day here, and I’m sure it showed.

  “I do, and now that I know you’re a food connoisseur, I’m going to change things up and let you order for the both of us.”

  I laughed. “That is a change.”

  “Everything here is incredible, so you can’t go wrong.”

  “I don’t doubt it.” I perused the menu.

  When the server arrived, I ordered. Duck confit for him and haddock for myself.

  After the server left, I asked, “Is it difficult for you to not be in control?”

  He paused a moment. “Yes, but I’ve been trying it in small doses lately.”

  “How’s that going for you?”

  “It’s… not always easy.”

  “Seems like it might be liberating. I think sometimes it would be nice to take a break, to be able to defer to someone else completely. If only for a little while.”

  “You can defer to me whenever you’d like.”

  He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, twisting his mouth up into a devious smile. I narrowed my eyes at him playfully, feeling my skin tingle. I was enjoying our pseudo-sexual banter more than I expected, but I needed to move the conversation away from the topic of sex. Blake could take my mind from zero to filthy with a few choice words.

  “You’ve been making yourself scarce. Anything new?”

  His eyes met mine with a penetrating gaze. “Just putting out fires at work.”

  “You haven’t asked me about the meeting with Max.”

  “What’s to tell? I knew Max was going to invest from the moment I saw you in that boardroom.”

  I wish I had known, I thought, if only to save myself a fair measure of stress and anxiety. “How did you know that?”

  “Well for one, you’re beautiful.”

  I warmed at the compliment, though coming from someone who defined physical perfection, I had a difficult time truly accepting it.

  “I’m not sure what looks have to do with it.” I fidgeted with my napkin.

  “Looks can be persuasive, especially to a guy like Max. Secondly, you have a good concept.”

  I frowned, confused as to why Blake’s glowing opinion of me this evening ran in such stark contrast to his brutal line of questioning at the pitch. “If you thought I had a good concept, then I’m not sure why you felt the need to humiliate me at the pitch and shoot me down.”

  I had come to know Blake better these past couple weeks, but the tirade of emotions I felt that first day were not easily forgotten. My hand fisted as I remembered the experience, his simple and easy rejection stamped on my memory. I riled again, my skin prickling with anger now.

  “I wanted to see how you’d perform under pressure. Plus, how else was I supposed to find out if you were available? Two birds with one stone.” He shrugged, as if it were nothing.

  To him, it probably was. To me, it was a life-changing event, the culmination of months of hard work. If we were going to move any further together he needed to know that.

  “Blake, I worked really hard for the opportunity to pitch your group, and you completely disrespected me. It’s hard for me to imagine how I would have felt if I hadn’t gotten the second meeting because of you. The word devastated comes to mind.”

  I looked out at the skyline to avoid his gaze, afraid my anger might fade when I genuinely wanted him to know what an ass he’d been that day. I’d been holding that thought to myself for weeks now, and I was suddenly ashamed that I’d actually slept with Blake before calling him out on his behavior. All my pride at having accomplished what I had at my age, and I was hardly a beacon of feminism.

  “You’re right,” he said quietly.

  My anger slipped at the shock of hearing his words.

  “You didn’t deserve that.”

  His eyes were disarmingly serious as I processed his almost-apology. The server came with our food, and we ate in silence for a few moments.

  “Max seemed upset
that you helped me,” I said.

  His hand came down on the table hard enough to startle me. “You told him I helped you?”

  My eyes went wide. “I assumed he would know eventually. I thought you were friends.”

  “We’re colleagues, not friends, Erica.” He forked his duck aggressively and sliced off a bite before popping it into his perfect mouth.

  “How do you know his dad?”

  He raised his eyebrows, his patience with this line of conversation clearly thinning. I worried that my perfect day was being threatened, but we’d come this far already.

  “Blake, you know all kinds of things about me, and I feel like I don’t know anything about you. Tell me something. Anything!” I waved my hand in frustration, needing him to know how difficult this inequity was becoming for me.

  His jaw twitched as he continued with his entree. My appetite waned despite the mouth-watering fillet in front of me. Food this divine should never go to waste. I poked at the seasoned couscous around the fish when Blake began to speak.

  “When I was fifteen, I got into some trouble.”

  “What kind of trouble?”

  “Hacker stuff.”

  “What kind of hacker stuff?” I pressed.

  “It’s not important.”

  I settled back into my chair, pouting a little.

  “At the time, Michael, Max’s father, wanted to diversify, so he started to invest heavily in computer software. He knew my story and sought me out. I was at a low point in my life, but he gave me an opportunity. I was able to build out the banking software on my own terms, the way it needed to be built. Obviously, it paid off for both of us, doubling his portfolio and setting me up to be able to do what I do now.”

  “How does Max play into this?”

  “Max is a few years younger than me. He watched Michael invest in me. Not just professionally, but as a mentor and a friend. He resented it, and when the software sold, he knew at that point he’d never be able to catch up to me. It’s been chafing his ass ever since.”