Hardwired

by Meredith Wild

  “Why don’t we go back up to the hotel?”

  “Let me go, Isaac.” Please. I can’t do this again. Please.

  He laughed, a wicked sound that sliced through me. “You think Landon gives a shit about you, don’t you?”

  I seethed with anger and prepared to knee him in the balls when he froze.

  “Perry.”

  The deep voice emerged from behind me. Isaac let me go, immediately creating space between us. He backed away toward the stone wall of the building. In a flash, Blake was on him, pinning him by the throat to the building.

  Isaac sputtered out a string of apologies. “She tripped, I just caught her. It was nothing, I swear.”

  “It didn’t look like nothing.”

  I glanced up and down the street. Night had fallen and we were alone. I struggled to breathe as the aftermath of the panic raced through me, but I kept reminding myself we were safe. Blake was here, and by the looks of it, Isaac didn’t have a chance. In a matter of seconds, he’d been reduced to a pathetic puddle of apologies while Blake squeezed him tighter, threatening him to make one wrong move.

  “She’s mine, Perry. And if you lay another hand on her, you won’t have hands. Is this clear?”

  “Yes. Yes, definitely.” He loosened his grip just enough to slam him back, causing Isaac to cough, clawing at Blake’s hand around his throat.

  I’d never seen him so angry, not like this.

  Blake finally released him. “Leave,” he ordered.

  Isaac disappeared down the street toward the Plaza. Blake turned to me, his face cold as stone.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  I followed Blake down the street to where his sleek sports car was parked. How long had he been stalking me? How had he even known where we were meeting? His uncanny knowledge about my whereabouts was unsettling, but I wasn’t about to bring it up now.

  He opened the door for me, a mere gesture I guessed because he didn’t say a word to me as he joined me in the car and sped the few blocks back to the apartment. We stepped out and I stopped him at the entryway.

  “Are you angry with me?”

  “I’m not happy about finding you in a lip lock with that fucking guy, if that’s what you mean.”

  “He just—I didn’t want that.”

  “I know that, but you wouldn’t have been in that situation if you’d listened to me.”

  I cringed, hating that he was right. The whole situation embarrassed me. “He caught me off guard. I could have handled it if you’d let me.”

  “Would you have had Max go with you, as an investor?”

  I tapped my toe on the pavement. This was a trick question. “Blake, it’s not realistic for you to be with me for every business meeting. Let’s not go there.”

  “Answer me.”

  I hesitated. “Maybe.”

  “That’s what I thought. I’ll fund the business. I’ll call Max and let him know the deal is off.” He dug into his pocket.

  “No, stop right there. This is my business. I have to make these decisions.” I’d barely stopped shaking from Isaac’s advances. Now the threat of Blake calling Max under these extreme circumstances had ratcheted my panic to a whole different level. My mind raced, frantically trying to stay ahead of wherever Blake was going with this.

  “Right. And you need two million dollars to continue running it and maintaining the lifestyle which you currently enjoy,” he said.

  I stilled. “Are you threatening me with the apartment? Say the word, and I’ll pack my things right now. You’re the one who forced me into it.”

  He ran his hands through his already tousled hair, his breath whistling through clenched teeth. “Just take the money and we can forget about all this.”

  “Blake, we have a relationship, or at least we did twenty minutes ago, which I think you can agree is complicated enough. I’m not taking your money.”

  He paused, holding me in a penetrating stare. “You don’t trust me.”

  The words cut me to the core. Not because he felt that way, but because they were true. I trusted Blake on many levels, but keeping the business on my terms was imperative.

  Unable to formulate a convincing response, I pushed through the doors of the building and nearly ran into Cady and Sid walking into her apartment. Blake barreled in after me.

  I offered a quick hello and goodbye before climbing the stairs up to the apartment. Blake followed me all the way to the bedroom. I didn’t argue.

  “Clothes, off,” I ordered, directing him with my index finger.

  My mind was an epic jumble. I could think of no better cure than to fuck Blake straight to oblivion. As it was, I’d thought of little else for the better part of the day.

  His eyebrows arched. “Shouldn’t we talk about this?”

  “Did I stutter? Clothes. Off.” I cocked my head, daring him to argue.

  He paused another minute, then undressed completely. As the last garment hit the floor, I stared in awe at the specimen at my mercy in front of me. Every sliver of flesh stretched tight over the sculpted muscles beneath. My fingers itched to run all over them, to feel them flex beneath me, above me, inside me. My anger slipped away, rapidly replaced with the craving I’d been staving off for hours.

  The longer I looked at him, the harder he got. His expression was calm, but the longing that simmered behind his eyes reflected my own. I stepped closer and gave him a little shove onto the bed. He reached for me but I stepped back. Stripping down, I took extra time removing my white lacy bra and panties that I had chosen just for him.

  I climbed him leisurely, systematically kissing his throat, his chest, nibbling the dark disks of nipples as they hardened under my touch. I finally turned my attention to his cock, tonguing his length and licking off the drop of pre-cum at its tip, savoring his flavor before gliding him into my mouth, deeper until he hit the back of my throat.

  “Christ, Erica.” He sucked in a sharp breath.

  I reveled at the small victory. He was much better at the self-control game, never letting on that I was tormenting him with my touches until now. His thighs were taut with restraint when I released him, sliding him out of my mouth with slow retreat.

  “How do you feel?” I asked.

  “Come here, and I’ll show you.” His eyes were half-lidded and dark with lust.

  My body hummed. I positioned myself above his cock and inched onto him slowly, giving my body time to adjust to his length.

  A wave of heat rolled over me as I sheathed him completely. I rose, and he grabbed my hips, slamming me down onto him, reminding me of the place inside me that only he could satisfy. I threw my head back and cursed. I stilled, overcome with how well we fit, how no one else had ever come close to this.

  He grasped my hips and tried to flip me, but I angled away so he couldn’t.

  “No,” I said firmly.

  He stilled and loosened his hold. “We should probably talk about safewords.”

  “That is my safeword. When I say no, trust me, I mean it.”

  “Okay,” he said quietly.

  “I’m going to fuck you until my legs turn to jelly and I can’t remember my name. And then you can be in charge, all right?”

  “Whatever you say, boss.” He swallowed hard and laced his fingers behind his head—a self-imposed restraint.

  I circled my hips, rising and dropping down with measured impact until I found a rhythm. My breasts were heavy and tender. I tugged on my nipples to quell the deep ache to be touched. Blake’s hands never strayed and his eyes never left me. His hips lifted, meeting my strokes and hitting me deeper with each one. The climax coiled inside me. I quivered, biting my lip until it was numb, trapped in an orgasm that kept climbing to its peak.

  “I want to hear you,” he said. “Now, Erica.”

  The damn broke and a strangled cry left me as I came hard. Breathless and losing steam, I fell forward, threaded my fingers with his, and kissed him.

  Blake sat up with me, took one nipple in his mouth and then
the other, and drove himself deeper into me. I whimpered. He cupped my face with one palm and circled my waist with the other, bringing me tight against him and kissing me—a deep, penetrating kiss that spoke volumes. I could taste the need on his lips. I was more than ready to let him take control.

  “It’s okay,” I said.

  He turned us over with measured control, covering my body with his before lunging hard. I arched, welcoming everything he had to give me. With each thrust I unraveled, hours of wanting him coming to a peak, to this pinnacle of a moment where I could lose myself in him.

  I kissed him frantically, caught between anger and love and passion. My nails scratched down his back as we climaxed together, slick with sweat.

  Blake buried his face in my neck. “You’re mine,” he whispered.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and held him close. He had no idea how true that was.

  We lay, breathless and sated, on the bed, side by side. I admired Blake’s amazing body stretched out before me. I trailed my fingers lightly over the raised flesh on his back where I’d dug into him harder than I’d meant to.

  “I got you,” I whispered.

  “If you keep touching me like that, I’m going to get you.”

  I giggled and rolled onto my back, mesmerized by the moment and unable to take my eyes off the beautiful man in my bed. He propped himself up and stared at me.

  “That was incredible, by the way,” he said. He tucked my hair behind my ear, tracing my curves, as if he were committing them to memory. “Why is it that you can trust me with your body, after everything you’ve been through? And while I’ve built and sold dozens of businesses, you won’t trust me with yours?”

  I groaned and closed my eyes. He wasn’t going to let a little fucking get in his way. He’d likely use it to his advantage.

  “The business is everything to me.” I cringed as the words left me, but in so many ways, it was true. “I mean, the business represents years of effort. Not just the time I spent building it, but the years I spent putting myself through school and becoming who I am.”

  “Yes, and…”

  “When we’re together it means something to both of us. I do trust you, more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. But what about when something happens between us, or you get tired of my little business venture? What if it becomes a drain on you, or fails?”

  “The amount of money you’re asking for is inconsequential to me,” he said. “It’s unlikely, if not impossible, that it could ever become a drain. Plus, I wouldn’t let a business I was involved with fail.”

  “Then why didn’t you just invest when you had the chance? What’s the difference now, other than you flying into a rage every time I get within five feet of another man?”

  “I was more interested in figuring you out than writing you a check. I knew if I passed, Max would pick it up. I was right. Now… things are different. I care about you, and I want to care about the things that matter to you.”

  The proclamation settled over me, and a little part of me even wanted to give in. I’d spent weeks harboring doubts about the business because he’d passed so easily. To know that he’d seen value from the start was reassuring, but this didn’t change the fact that mixing business with pleasure, at least to this degree, was a terrible idea.

  “I appreciate that, but it’s not a good reason to invest. It’s bad enough that you and Max have issues, but I can’t put the business at risk if you and I have tension. It’s just too much.”

  He was silent, but I sensed that the conversation was far from over. He drew me closer and tucked me against his chest where I fell asleep, warm and safe.

  ***

  I checked my email in the morning, still worn out from the previous night. Blake had woken me more than once, possibly attempting to screw me into surrender on the investment issue. I didn’t argue, but I didn’t surrender, at least when it came to the business.

  I fished through the mail until I hit a message from Sid titled “Results.” My stomach dropped as I reread it.

  Erica,

  Wasn’t as hard as I thought. Daniel Fitzgerald, Class of 1992, Economics major. Google “Daniel Fitzgerald Boston.”

  Sid.

  ***

  I opened a new tab and typed in the search. The first result showed attorney biographies at a law firm where his name was listed first as a partner. The second result was an official website for Daniel Fitzgerald’s run for governor of Massachusetts, featuring a stylish red, white, and blue logo and a catchy campaign slogan. Beneath was a photo of an aged version of the man in the photo. Oh God. I scrambled for my phone and called Marie.

  “Hey, baby girl,” she answered happily.

  “Daniel Fitzgerald,” I said.

  “What?”

  “That’s the man in the photo.”

  “Oh.” She sounded more resigned than surprised.

  “I know Mom didn’t tell me for a reason, but I need to know.”

  “Erica, I—”

  “Marie, I have a right to know. You were her best friend. If anyone would know who my father is, it’s you.”

  She was silent for a long stretch before speaking. “Yes.”

  “Yes, what?”

  “He’s your father.”

  “Oh, God.” My face dropped into my palm, my head suddenly spinning. I’d had my suspicions, of course, but I’d half expected her to say no. To lie or to tell me I was crazy thinking up something so far-fetched. Now, faced with the truth, I didn’t know what to feel.

  I’d spent my whole life accepting the shadow of his absence, ignorant to the other half of who I was. But had I ever truly accepted it? By the time I was old enough to really demand the truth, my mother had been gone. Knowing that no one could ever hope to fill that place in my heart, I never bothered to seriously wonder who he could be.

  Now, I had a thousand questions and no answers. Did he even know I existed? Did he love my mother? What was he like?

  “Honey, are you all right?” Marie interrupted my reeling thoughts.

  “Did you know he’s running for governor?” The one thing I did know about him was the one thing that could keep us apart. I had no idea how I’d get through the layers of people that surrounded him.

  She laughed quietly. “No, but I can’t say I’m surprised.”

  “It’s not going to be easy connecting with him,” I said.

  “Just be careful, honey.”

  My brows knit together. “What do you mean?”

  “You don’t know what you’re walking into with him.”

  “Should I be worried? You obviously know more about him than I do.”

  “You’re a smart girl. Just pay attention and don’t let your guard down,” she said quietly.

  “Okay.” I paused, trying to collect my thoughts. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For telling me the truth. Even if it was a little late.”

  She sighed. “I hope you don’t regret that I did.”

  I shook my head, unable to comprehend how I could. “I can’t explain what this means… to finally know who he is. But with Mom being gone…”

  “I know, baby,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry. I was only following her wishes.”

  I blew out a breath, wishing this news brought me more relief than it did. I didn’t like the idea that Marie had kept my father’s identity hidden from me, or that my mother had wanted it that way. But I wasn’t a little girl anymore. As scary as it seemed, I needed to know more about the man and what he meant to my mother.

  “I should go. I need to think through all this. I’ll talk to you soon though.”

  “Sure thing. Call me anytime. And Erica?”

  I paused. “What?”

  “Be careful, okay?”

  “I will. I promise.”

  I hung up and stared at the photo on the website, wishing I knew the man on the other side. Not the lawyer or the politician, but the man.

  I clicked around and learned as much as I could ab
out him, which only reinforced how difficult it would be to get a meeting with him. I couldn’t simply walk into his office and announce myself. The idea of Blake as a connection crossed my mind, but I squashed that idea. I didn’t want to associate him with any of this, for my sake and his.

  I scrolled through my phone and called Alli. We still hadn’t spoken, and I was shocked when she picked up.

  “I’ve been trying to reach you,” I said, trying not to sound as concerned as I was.

  “I know, I’m really sorry. I’ve been flat out with work, and dealing with all this crap with Heath doesn’t help either.”

  “Are you all right?”

  The phone was silent a moment. “Yeah, I think so.”

  “How’s Heath?”

  “He seems good… better. He’s in L.A., so I can’t go see him right now with work.”

  “Right… I can’t imagine what this has been like for you.”

  She laughed listlessly. “I’m thinking I should have majored in psychology instead, because being with him has been like dating two completely different people.”

  “Except you’re in love with one of them.”

  She sighed on the other end. “Trust me, I know.”

  “Alli, I know I haven’t always been the most supportive friend when it comes to Heath, but I hope you know you can talk to me about this. This came as a shock to me, but I want to be here for you. You’re still my best friend. I don’t want this to keep us apart.”

  “Thank you,” she said. “That means a lot. Obviously, I can’t talk to my parents about any of this. They would completely freak out.”

  “Hopefully Heath can get straightened out before you have to.”

  “Hopefully.”

  I tapped my fingers on the counter. “So I have some interesting news.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I think I found my father.”

  “What? Are you serious?”

  “I need your help though. He’s some big-wig lawyer, and he also happens to be running for governor, so I have no idea how I’m going to get in touch with him, you know, discreetly. I was hoping you had some ideas.”