“Please what?”
Fucking hell. I could feel his breath against me. Just move an inch closer to me.
“I want you to touch me.” I didn’t recognize the desperate pleading in my voice. But he must have approved because the second I said those words, there were stars in my eyes.
His tongue lapped greedily against me. I sucked in a breath. He stopped. My head popped up and I looked down at him, he shook his, bringing a finger to his mouth. His eyes slid over to my pillows, he leaned over, grabbed one, and tossed it to me.
When he knelt before me again, I shoved it on my face willingly. I’d keep it there forever if it meant I could scream his name over and over.
He slipped a finger inside, and I knew I was teetering on the edge.
I gripped the pillow harder, my hips rocking into his face.
His arms wrapped around my hips, pinning me in place as I rode out the first wave. If my fingers dug any harder, the pillow would be a pile of feathers, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I gripped and fought against his hold until my orgasm faded.
“Roman,” I moaned into the pillow, breathless.
“No one else can make you feel this good,” he replied as he snaked a hand up my stomach, landing on my breast.
I threw the pillow to the side just as he was getting off the floor. The back of his hand drug across his lips. I wanted that perfect mouth against mine, but when I propped up on my elbows, he flipped me on my stomach.
His pants hit the ground.
And I heard a condom wrapper tear.
My heartbeat was fluttering in my ears.
He tapped my ass, and I was up on all fours, arching my back so he could slip in. I needed him. It had been too long since he’d been inside me.
What an odd thought. I’d never wanted a touch before and here I am, craving his.
His fingers slipped between my legs, and inside me. I moaned in approval, jerking my hips back and forth. He slipped them out and replaced them with something much bigger.
“Fuck you feel good,” he groaned.
My lips tugged into a smile as he rocked into me. Slow at first, but he picked up the tempo.
One hand dipped to the arch of my back, and the other circled around my waist as he thrusted in me.
Our panting drowned out the sounds around me, sweat beaded up on my forehead as I clenched the sheets below me.
“Roman,” I warned.
We were about to get loud. He felt too damn good. And I was about to let the house know.
He pulled out and I slid up on the bed, making room for him to crawl on top of me. He slid back in, and I wrapped my legs around him, hooking them behind his waist.
I love him like this. Holding me as he rocks in and out of me. In his arms, looking into his face as I send him over the edge, knowing I do that to him.
I snaked my fingers through his hair so I could pull his face to mine. His almond eyes were dancing over mine with lust, and I closed the gap between us. At that moment, I didn’t want there to be a piece of me that wasn’t connected to him.
So, I fused my mouth to his, claiming him as my own.
He groaned against my lips and slipped a finger between my legs. He thrusted faster as his fingers rubbed my clit.
I actually think he was trying to kill me.
My head tipped back, and my mouth formed an O.
“Roman.”
“Yeah?” His breath tickled my neck. Goosebumps prickled that side of my body.
“Don’t,” I cried out. “Don’t stop.”
“Come for me, Raquel,” he demanded in a hushed whisper.
My body reacted like it needed to hear those words from him. My legs squeezed him as I shook from my core.
His mouth was on mine, sucking the scream threatening to erupt from my throat. I took all of him greedily as my body stilled and he pumped out of me for the last time.
He laid his head on my chest for a beat, evening his breath, and I ran my fingers through his hair.
“That was,” he stopped his sentence with a laugh.
“Worth the wait?” I finished for him.
“Something like that.”
I wanted to try my luck. “Is it always like that?”
He lifted his head to look at me. “Only with you.”
My stomach did a little flutter. I didn’t like that I reacted like this, but fuck, those words had me melted. I craved to know if he felt for me, as much as I did for him. It’s so foreign and bizarre still, but I think this is what it’s supposed to be like. If you’re lucky enough to find someone like Roman.
After we cleaned up, I pulled my pajamas back on and he laid next to me in his briefs. His dad was still home, so we couldn’t sneak over to his place. So, my house it is, consequences be damned.
He wrapped his arms around me, and I laid my head on his chest. Good luck to anyone trying to keep us apart.
I don’t know what our life holds when we leave for college, but right now this whirlwind of a relationship is a raging fire.
And if you get too close to the flame, you burn.
I woke up to an empty bed. My bottom lip stuck out in a frown. I could pout all I wanted if no one was around. I swiped my phone off my dresser, peaking at it with one eye, I saw a text from Roman.
Went home before my dad woke up.
Groaning, I threw my covers back. I knew he didn’t want to give his dad a reason to stay here longer. We’d talked about it. If he shows up, I stay away. He was adamant. Apparently his mom would want to meet me, and his dad would want us apart more than my grandma. I didn’t know I was considered a distraction to his future, but apparently his dad would think that.
So, here I am. Hiding out from Roman’s family.
I padded downstairs, hoping my family would have something better to do than be downstairs on a Sunday morning.
I tiptoed from the last step, hooking a right when I got to the first floor and walked into the kitchen. The universe apparently hated me today because Grandma sat at the breakfast nook, smiling at me.
I skirted to a stop, caught off guard that she was still here. I flashed an awkward smile before ducking into the fridge to grab some yogurt. Next a spoon, and then I was reaching into the cabinet for a coffee cup.
I popped a blend into the Keurig and slid my cup under the drip.
“I didn’t see you all day yesterday.” That was Grandma prying.
I tipped a teaspoon of sugar into my coffee before turning to face her. She gestured in front of her. And like a deer caught in headlights, I looked between her and the door, wondering if I should run headfirst into a moving vehicle or run back to safety.
I grabbed my yogurt and spoon with my other hand and went over to join her at the table.
I guess today I was choosing infinite death.
“I had a lot of homework to catch up on,” I lied.
She arched a brow at me. “They’re still giving homework this late in the year?”
“What a bunch of assholes, right?” My lips tugged into a smile before I took my first sip of coffee.
“I never realized one could be so vocal about finishing schoolwork.”
I’d already started swallowing the coffee, unfortunately, because it was fucking coming up. I lunged for the cloth, holding it to my mouth as I coughed up every bit of coffee that almost made it to my stomach.
If you were looking for a theatrical response, you got it Grandma.
I wouldn’t fall further into the trap though.
“Excuse me?”
She flicked an invisible strand of hair from her face and leaned closer to the table. “There was a black Range Rover parked across the street. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, Raquel?”
My face burst into flames.
“Why do you hate him so much? You’ve never even met him.” Yeah, that may have come out harsher than intended. She looked like I had physically slapped her.
&
nbsp; “I know enough about his family to know this isn’t a good idea, Raquel. This will only end with your heart broken.”
My fist balled under the table. “I know about his brother. I know his parents suck, but he’s actually really good to me. Did you ever think maybe he’s different?”
She shook her head slowly. I think hell froze over because she actually had a tear in her eye.
“Oh, Raquel,” she said, looking up so a tear didn’t fall. “Some things run deeper than that.”
Okay, she’s crying. Fist unclenched.
“What is it? Is this like something to do with a man you liked in his family? You can tell me. I’m sure if you ever spent time around us, you’d understand…”
She cut me off. “This isn’t about me. It’s about you. And your mother.”
She kind of looked offended as if it was super bizarre that I thought she may have had a bad run with a Pierce guy. Stranger things have happened. Like these conversations that keep occurring.
“Just tell me. We’ll never know if I can get over it if I don’t know.”
I leaned over the table, pleading with her. She was considering it. Her eyes darted behind me, and around the room before they landed back on mine.
“I don’t know. This is a lot. I was hoping you would listen to me, so I never had to tell you everything.” God, the strongest woman I’ve ever met is breaking in front of me.
“I can handle whatever you tell me,” I promised.
But that was a lie. Especially lately, any sign of a problem had me spiraling. Maybe she didn’t know that.
“Roman’s father, Ryan, had been wanting to close his plants here and outsource the jobs out of America for cheaper labor costs.”
Her eyes snapped to me.
My brows bumped together in confusion. “Okay? What does that have to do with me?”
Her head dropped to her hands. “You never put any of this together.”
“Grandma…”
She composed herself as much as she could, and her gaze met mine now.
“He owned RP Industries.”
This time my eyes snapped to hers. “Where Dad was a supervisor?”
She nodded. “Your father tried to push back. He knew it would hurt so many families in your old town if it closed. And he was right. Look at what’s happened.”
I just nodded.
“Raquel,” from across the table, she took my hands in hers. “Your father was a good man. He worked sixty hours a week and took care of you full-time, and he really tried with your mom. He just didn’t know how to help her.”
“I know. Why are you saying this?”
“It’s important for you to remember that through the whole story. When your father started pushing back and making threats to come forward, he didn’t know that Ryan Pierce knew he’d had an affair with his assistant.”
It’s important to remember the good. I try to shove him from my mind because when I think of him, it’s like losing him all over again. He’d kind of slacked off from being a dad the last few years and he was always at work, but for a long time, he was all I had.
This was like a whole new stab to the gut. Grandma squeezed my hand.
“I’m okay,” I promised. But was I?
“The threats continued for a while. Your dad, he just decided to, you know, leave you guys at a bad time. He thought if he wasn’t here, you’d be taken care of, but when the plant closed that same day, you guys weren’t given the life insurance money. He didn’t read the fine print. Ryan Pierce wanted the plants closed, and your dad didn’t want anyone to be embarrassed. He thought you’d be taken care of if he took himself out of the equation.”
Wait.
What?
Hold….
“Dad died of a heart attack.”
She cleared her throat, shifted in her seat, and met my gaze head on. “Your father took extra pills that morning…”
“He wouldn’t! He wouldn’t leave me to take care of her!”
She squeezed my hands. “He would. To protect you from Ryan Pierce and that whole family.” Her eyes were sharp, staring into my head. “Stay away from Roman Pierce. I won’t lose you again, not even a piece of you.”
I jerked my hand away and shoved from the table.
“Does she know this?”
Grandma just nodded. “She never wanted you to find out, Raquel.”
“You were just going to lie to me?” I was taking a few steps back, hoping the hallway would swallow me whole and I could forget the entire conversation.
“Sometimes a lie is prettier than the truth.”
She looked so broken at the table. But I didn’t comfort her. I kept backing up until I slammed into something, and then I turned and ran.
Right into my room because I had nowhere else to go.
I closed my door, turned the lock, and slid down until I was a puddle on the floor.
Roman didn’t know. He couldn’t.
Unless…
No. No way. He wouldn’t be with me out of pity.
But what did I know about him really? He didn’t want me around his dad.
Fuck. He knows.
I skipped school today. Mom and Grandma left; I think. If they didn’t, they sure as hell didn’t want me to know they were in the house.
Mom was still in the dark about the bombshell Grandma dropped on me because I know if she knew Grandma told me, she would burst into my room and try to be a parent again. She was giving me space, and right now I’m thankful for that, because if I saw her, I wouldn’t be able to hold back.
My entire fucking life has been a lie.
Dad’s affair.
His suicide.
Mom’s illness.
And why the hell was Grandma kept away from me?
The rain had slacked off. Droplets pebbled down my window before slipping to the ground below. Rain. Poetic. If I have to be depressed, I guess it’s only right that the sky is crying with me.
Dark, gloomy, and cloudy. Just like my thoughts.
I tugged the covers up around me and turned-on reruns of New Girl on for background noise. My phone was lying beside me, face down, and completely drained of battery. Roman was probably blowing it up, but I couldn’t face him.
What the hell would I say?
My brain is in a constant fight. Like peeling petals off a flower. Does he know? Does he not? Except this time, it’s not about an elementary crush. This time, I’m plucking petals to see if he knew his dad had a hand in my dads’ death.
It’s fucked.
And I’m thankful he didn’t sneak in last night, but I have a feeling, especially with my phone being off, he’s going to burst through my bedroom door today.
For now, I’m just going to hide under my blanket, and away from the dirty secrets that are gnawing at my brain only to tell me the boy I’m falling for is slipping through my fingers.
I squeezed my eyes shut, a tear pooled at the corner and streaked down my cheek.
I can’t afford to allow myself to think I fell for him. I have to trick myself into thinking it was casual. Denial. It’s the only way I’ll make it out of this.
I’ll go back to school tomorrow. I’ll graduate soon, then off to college. And the beautiful, brooding boy next door that held my heart in his hands will always be that forbidden love that got away.
But one day, when I’ve healed, I’ll be okay.
Right now, though? A humorless laugh escaped my throat. I don’t know what the hell to do. I have to process Dad’s suicide before I can entertain the idea of moving on from the boy who was never mine.
I clutched the blanket and pulled my legs up. Lying in a hopeless ball, I watched the rain as Jessica Day tried to cheer me up in the background.
Nothing could help now. Except maybe a time machine, because I really didn’t want to know this. Roman was the only one who got me. Ever. It was us against the world.
Now it’s just me fighting
to the death with my brain.
Even if he didn’t know, it’ll never work. I’ll always flip-flop back to this. That’s how my brain works. Overthinking everything until I have no idea what reality is anymore.
My eyes slid to my nightstand where a picture of a younger me with my parents sat. Over the last year, I’ve shoved Dad out of my thoughts. I was in fight or flight mode. Taking care of Mom, going to school, and keeping my head afloat was the only thing I could do.
But now with his death front and center in my brain, it’s all I can do to keep myself together. At one point, I guess before his affair, he was the glue of the family. Until he swallowed those fucking pills and left it on me.
The room is closing in again.
My chest, something is sitting on it.
No. no. no. no. no. no.
I heard Roman’s voice in my head. Focus on the rain. Or anything around you. It won’t last long. You won’t be stuck here forever.
That’s easy to say when you aren’t trapped inside a head that’s sabotaging you.
But he wasn’t my imagination at all because a warm hand squeezed mine, pulling me out a spiraling panic attack.
Roman’s sudden attack on my personal space should send me down a dark hole I’d never crawl out of, but fuck if he didn’t pull me out of the pitch-black credence I was slipping into.
Fuck. That he’s sending me to.
I threw the covers back and crossed the room. Bottled screams threatening to rip out of me as sobs racked my body.
He was standing at the bed, where I left him, completely caught off guard.
Fucking good. So was I. He never warned me about Dad. He didn’t even mention he knew him.
Maybe he doesn’t. I grabbed the side of my head, sobbing as I dropped to the floor. A pair of feet appeared in my vision, then a pair of hands pulled me up and put me on the couch in my room.
“Talk to me,” he demanded. It wasn’t a tender request, his voice was rough, terrified even.
“No.” I wanted that to come out harsh, but I sounded like a scared little girl. And in that moment, I kind of was. Just a girl who wanted her dad back who shouldn’t have been ripped away from her in the first place.
“I can’t fix it if you won’t tell me what it is.”
Dare Me: The Pierce Boys of Georgia, Book One Page 19