He was smoothing my hair back as he cradled me in his lap. My tears had stopped, leaving me a hiccupping mess with tears staining my cheeks.
“You can’t fix everything.” I didn’t even recognize my voice. I was numb.
“I can sure as hell try.”
A damn tear forsaken me and fell down my face. Sighing, he dropped his hands and leaned against the back of the couch. With my head cradled against his chest, I’d never been more alone in that moment.
“Did you know?” I couldn’t finish the whole question. How do I form those words and push them through my lips if I hadn’t accepted them on my own?
“I came over as soon as you didn’t show up to first period.”
I shook my head against his chest. “Did you know,” deep breaths, “about my dad?”
His fingers were back in my hair, gently combing through it. “You told me he passed.”
Roman’s voice was calm again, loving even. I was searching for any trace of panic or sign he might be lying. That is, if I could get through this conversation.
I understand why people bottle things up. Communication is hard as hell. And if I could, I’d bury this so deep, I would never think about it again. Just me and him, no ugly secrets hanging over us like a dark cloud.
But I have to hit it head on. If he knows, I need to hear it come from him.
“He…he committed suicide,” I managed to rush out.
He cursed. Dropping his hand from my hair, his arms circling around me. I shouldn’t sink into him like this, not until I know. He just feels like home.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, dropping a kiss against my forehead. “Is it his anniversary or something? What has you like this, Raquel?”
I clamped my eyes shut. He sounds so damn sincere.
Then I allowed myself to look at him. His sincere amber eyes were glued to mine, concern swirling in them.
“Until yesterday, I thought he died of a heart attack,” pausing, I checked him for any ticks that might give him away. “My grandma told me what really happened.”
His jaw clenched. I hated to be the one behind that tension, but I had a feeling he wasn’t directing that anger at my grandma. But why? Does he know? Or is he pissed she hurt me?
“What are you thinking?”
He chuckled, a humorless laugh, and ran a hand down his face. “You’re asking me what I’m thinking right now?” He shook his head in disbelief; his eyes trained on the wall in front of us. “I can’t decide if I’m more pissed they lied to you the whole time or that she told you. Why the fuck would she tell you? You were finally doing okay.”
“There’s a whole story behind it. She thought I needed to know.”
“What is it?” His eyes were glued to mine again. “You scared the shit out of me when I came in. I haven’t been able to get in touch with you since last night. You gotta tell me so I can help you through it.”
“That’s the thing,” I shook my head. “I think you’re the last person who can help me.”
He guided me off him, positioning me so I was facing him on the couch. His brows bumped together with a mixture of confusion and horror.
“Okay, what the fuck is going on?”
“Do you know Greg Hendrix?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“That was my dad.” I could practically feel the wheels turning in his head as he tried to piece it together on his own. “Grandma said the company he worked for; your dad owned.”
He paled. “Which one?”
“RP Industries.”
He sucked in a breath. “Raquel…”
“My dad killed himself because of your dad.”
If I could get away with murder, I’d kill my father. Honestly, I’m thinking about it anyway. Fuck family. I’m done with all those assholes. Each one of those dicks has wronged me in an unforgivable way, but this takes the cake.
The one girl I’ve ever fallen for will probably end it with me because of some shit my dad did. I don’t know what it was exactly, but I’d find out. If I die doing it, I’d make him pay.
I didn’t know.
I’ve never repeated a sentence so many times before in my life. But I did, over and over until she stopped sobbing. Eventually those sobs turned into whimpers, and soft breathing. When she slipped into sleep that night, I moved her into her bed.
Crossing the room, I made sure her door was locked. I didn’t want to face her family right now. At this point, I’m not sure who hated who the most, but I didn’t want to find out tonight. Raquel deserved more.
Fuck.
She looked so broken. Her cheeks were still wet, her nose red, and she hiccupped every few breaths.
Jesus Christ. I rubbed a hand down my face. She spent the entire night like this before I showed up this morning. I’d been so preoccupied with getting Dad the hell out of the house, I didn’t check on her enough.
For now, I tried to shut it all out. Revenge could wait, being with this girl who had me wrapped around her tiny finger trumped it all.
So, I slid under the covers and pulled her next to me, only letting go when the sun came up and she started stirring.
Raquel was painfully quiet as she got ready this morning. I was waiting on the bed, fully dressed, watching her robotically move around the room.
I didn’t say anything, even though it fucking sucked to watch her hurt and not comfort her.
Because I understand that pain more than most. If my life is going to shit, I withdraw into my head until I’m ready to let the world back in. I thought it would be different this time. She has me, I have her.
But what the fuck are you supposed to do when the one person you care about is the one who indirectly caused you pain?
Raquel’s answer? Ignore me. Ignore the problem. Ignore the world.
She finally lifted her dead eyes to mine. “Ready?”
I just nodded. Slipping my fingers through hers, I walked her through the door and down the stairs. Today, I didn’t give a shit if her family knew I’d stayed here. They did this to her, and now I’m here to glue the pieces of her back together.
Her grandma was waiting by the front door, shifting through mail. Her face twisted into an arrogant smirk when she saw me.
“Something came for you,” she told Raquel. Way too fucking cheerful for my liking.
“Me?” Raquel’s brows knitted together as she grabbed the envelope. When her eyes skimmed over the front, she paled a little but still tore into it like her life depended on this letter.
Her mouth twisted into the slightest grin. “Congratulations, we are delighted to inform you that you have been accepted into Summit University.”
“That’s where I went,” her grandma squealed and wrapped her in a hug. Raquel visibly tensed and stepped back. “I bet I could get you into the sorority I was in, no problem.”
Raquel’s eyes went wide. “I’m not really a sorority type. And uh, I applied to a few more places, so I kinda want to see what happens with those.”
“Of course.” Her lips twitched.
“Congrats Raquel,” I said, pulling her into me.
I pressed a kiss on top of her head, lingering longer than I should. Because I might be congratulating her on the outside, but just inside my chest my heart is splitting open. I’m watching the girl of my dreams slip further away from me every day. And there’s not a fucking thing I can do about it. Deep down, I know, she needs to get the hell away from me. As far as she can run.
“Thanks, Roman. We need to check your mail later. Maybe yours came?” She tried to look hopeful, but she was drowning in pain.
My lip tilted in a grin. “Let’s do it.”
A knot formed in my stomach. I’d never been so attached to someone, and it was starting to scare the shit out of me.
If this thing ended, there’d never be another. One-night-stands, and flings were something else. But to knowingly put your whole being in the hands of s
omeone else who could shred it to pieces? Yeah, I’d never do that again.
Not that this was voluntarily or anything. My eyes slid to Raquel. Her bottom lip captured between her teeth, watching me anxiously. Even with all the bullshit stacked against us, when she looked at me, I had hope.
She looped her hands around my elbow with a forced smile. “Get me out of here, please.”
She whispered it, but I could feel her grandma’s eyes glaring into the back of my skull, so I knew she heard it.
When we were outside, I laughed. “You sure you don’t wanna go back inside and talk about rush week?”
She rolled her eyes, letting out a soft chuckle. “She has a lot to learn about me.”
I was smiling when I slid behind the steering wheel. “It’s nice to see your smile back.”
When it vanished, I cursed.
“Will I ever get over it?”
I shoved the gear in drive and took off. “You don’t get over some shit like that, but if you handle it the right way, you’ll heal.”
“Yeah?” She let out a forced laugh. “And how the hell do I do that?”
I shook my head. “Let me know if you find out.”
I captured her hand, pulling it to the console and laced my fingers through hers. She held on for dear life as if my hand would solve her sadness. And I clung to her because somewhere in the pit of my stomach, I was bracing myself to lose her.
When I turned into the school lot, I parked in the space furthest from the door. Away from prying eyes for a beat. I killed the Range Rover and turned to face her.
Her eyes were dancing across my face. I ran a hand down mine, letting out a sigh. God, I wanted to yell.
Hold on, baby.
Don’t leave me.
You pulled me out of darkness when no one else could.
But I couldn’t let her hear me beg. She didn’t need to hear the pleading in my voice. She needed to know she’d get through this, so I lied.
“It’s going to be okay; it has to be.”
Tears welled in her eyes. She flicked them away and leaned in to press a quick kiss on my lips. I’d never get tired of those full, feather soft lips on my mouth, but I let her go for now.
“I couldn’t do any of this without you,” she said, looking down at her shirt, tugging the tiniest snag on the hem. “I kinda suck at words, but I hope I show you that. You’ve made what should’ve been the shittiest part of my life bearable.”
Fuck. I think my dead heart began beating for the first time in my life.
I tucked a strand of black hair behind her ear. I just had to touch her. Her blue eyes finally slid up to mine. God, if it didn’t kill me to see the sadness in them.
“I kinda suck at words, too. I think that’s why this works.” My mouth tugged into a grin. “You don’t know half the shit I went through with Rhett and my dad; I’d never burden you with it, but it faded when you showed up. When you punched that guy with a book, I knew you were about to knock my ass down, but I didn’t think I’d fall this hard. You brought me back when I didn’t think I wanted to live anymore, you got me away from Rhett.” Sighing, “You fucking saved me from myself Raquel, and if you’ll let me, I won’t stop saving you until you’re whole again. You’re it for me, I can’t lose you.”
Cupping my face, her lips stretched into a smile. “I’m not going anywhere.” Her lips brushed across mine, “And I think I kinda fell for you, too.”
I leaned back. Does that mean…
Someone knocked on her window. I leaned over her shoulder to find Jaylen, a soccer player.
RIP, Jaylen. You were a good player, but when you bang on my window when I’m with my girl, the punishment is death.
Yeah, I said all that with a glare.
Raquel rolled down the window. “Bell rang. You’re already in hot shit with Coach, better get your ass inside.”
I don’t know if any other dumb word strolled out of his mouth because I rolled up the window. But he was right. Sighing, I opened my door and grabbed Raquel’s backpack.
“Let’s go,” I murmured.
“Don’t kill him. I’d be sad if you went to prison.”
I let out a laugh. “I’ll spare him, for you.”
That earned me a kiss.
We walked in the back way, her hand in mine, and for the first time in a while, I felt like I could breathe again. I’d fight to keep her okay. And if we didn’t get to go to the same college, I’d be with her every weekend.
I wouldn’t let her get away.
The lunchroom in Cape Pleasant is Hella different from my last school. Pinewood was chaos. Long tables and one food option with every student packed inside.
But Cape Pleasant, they treated their students like royalty. It probably had something to do with most of the parent’s tax brackets, but I was reaping the benefits anyway, so I didn’t care.
Most days, Roman and I sneak off during lunch hour, but today, we were at a corner table away from most of the other students. I’d noticed, they tended to stay away from Roman. Unless someone was directly addressed by him, they stayed out of his way.
I don’t know what he was like before I showed up, but something told me he’d scared them into staying away. Add Rhett into the mix, and it was enough to keep anyone at a distance. I shivered when I thought of him.
“You cold?” Roman asked, rubbing a hand down my arm.
I shook my head. “Have you heard from Rhett since your dad left?”
His jaw clenched. Maybe that was the wrong thing to ask. “I can’t decide if I want to confront him or just cut ties and stay away.”
I tugged at the paper label on my water bottle. “Just don’t rush into a decision.”
“I’ll think about…” He stopped mid-sentence.
“Did you apply for any colleges?”
I snapped my head up, Poppy was sitting in front of me now. Her curly hair was piled on top of her head today and she wore a pair of lavender glasses.
I brushed off her social awkwardness because honestly, I was happy for a distraction. Roman and I were headed into heavy territory and Poppy would be a fun break.
His eyebrow was cocked as he stared at me, waiting to decide what to do about her.
“I applied for a few. I got an acceptance letter today, actually.” I said, sliding my eyes over to Roman. He relaxed a little.
Her eyes were wide. “Where? I haven’t heard back yet.”
“Summit.”
She squealed. “That’s my top choice.”
Her excitement was kind of contagious. My lips stretched into a grin, and just for a second, I forgot about how shitty my life was.
“I’m waiting to hear back from my other applications before I make a decision.”
She looked between me and Roman, smiling. “That makes sense. I’m sure you guys want to make that decision together.”
My jaw dropped, but I picked it back up.
This kind of shit.
This is why I hate when people know about your relationship. Like why does the universe think it’s fair to let this bubbly blonde skip over and drop a nuclear bomb on top of my relationship?
We decided to go to whatever university fits us the best, individually. Well, that was before this morning. Maybe it’s different now? My face is probably the color of snow.
I guess Roman was letting me answer that one because he was leaning back, grinning like he was enjoying my embarrassment. Dick.
“Yeah, definitely a lot to think about before we pick one,” I finally answered her.
She just smiled at my answer like she didn’t know she had caused my heart to stop and restart again.
“Are you guys going to prom this weekend?”
Chuckling, “We’re gonna sit this one out. What about you?”
She shrugged her shoulders. A fire lit under her skin, reddening her entire face. “No one asked.”
“So? It’s your senior year, don’t wait for a g
uy to take you, take your fucking self,” I commanded.
Her mouth hooked into a smirk. “Yeah, maybe. It would be kinda weird to be alone though.”
“Only if you let it be.”
I could feel Roman eyes’ burning a hole through my head, but I didn’t look at him. She was pushing off the table now.
“I’ll see if I can find a dress. On one condition.” Her eyes narrowed.
Laughing, ‘And that is?”
“If it’s lame, I can meet up with you after?”
“Deal,” I said, shaking her hand.
And my spastic friend skipped away. Friend. I guess that’s what she was. Acquaintance maybe. She was nice, unlike other girls I’d encountered here. I had a sinking suspicion that most stayed away because of Roman.
“She’s kinda weird,” Roman said.
“So are we.”
Chuckling, “You have a point. As long as she’s nice to you, I’ll deal with her.”
“Such a gentleman.”
He leaned into me; his lips dangerously close to my ear.
“Don’t let anyone else hear you say that. I liked my reputation as an asshole,” he whispered, before peppering kisses across my face until he settled on my lips. For a second, I forgot where we were, until the dumb ass bell had to pull me away from him.
For the first time since his dad showed up, I was in Roman’s house. Oddly enough, I felt more at home at his place, alone with him.
He changed into low-hanging, gray sweats, no shirt, and I’m practically salivating over here. I didn’t know something as mundane as checking mail could have me wanting to throw myself on him.
That fucking star tattoo peeking out of his sweatpants is about to send me over the edge.
He tossed the stack on the kitchen counter and forced a smile as he closed the space between us. He wrapped his arms around my middle. And just for a second, I forgot. I melted under his touch, pressed my lips to his and deepened the kiss, pulling him closer until nothing could fit between us.
But I snapped out of it.
“Nothing?”
He shook his head. “I’m not worried about it. It’ll show up soon.”
“Can we at least tell Grandma you got in just to fuck with her?” I tried to lighten the mood. It worked because his eyes lit as laughter escaped his lips.
Dare Me: The Pierce Boys of Georgia, Book One Page 20