There All Along

by Lauren Dane

  She stuttered a breath, curving her back to take him deeper.

  Normally a chatterer, she found herself stunned silent by the things he said when it was just them, when it was this. Skin to skin, his body in hers. His hands caressing every part of her he could reach.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “Mine,” he whispered back, and she wanted to laugh. Yes, yes she was.

  Instead she nodded quickly. “Yours.”

  That seemed to satisfy him for a time as he continued to thrust. His teeth dug into the flesh of her shoulder as he groaned. The pain silvered into something else, something pleasurable as she felt the jerk of his cock deep within her, as she knew she made him feel this way. Her.

  She smiled against the fabric of the settee, the nub of it against her inflamed skin.

  “Let us nap for a time.” He stood back and picked her up, walking her not into his room, but hers. He pulled the blankets back and she moved over, giving him room to follow. Which he did.

  She moved into the hollow where his arm met his body, resting her head there. His arms surrounded her and she closed her eyes. Satisfied and unafraid.

  • • •

  He awoke to the scent of coffee and fried meat.

  She spoke in low tones to someone, which is what brought him to his feet and into his pants. He had nowhere to come out but through her bedroom door and realized he wanted to be seen. Wanted whoever it was to know she was his.

  He froze, his hand on the knob. Stupid. Stupid to think in those terms. But there it was. He still tasted her, smelled her on his skin and he wasn’t ready to give that up. Wasn’t ready to give her up.

  He’d lived through a lot. Survived the loss of his family, years on the Highway. Battles. He brushed a hand over his belly, against the ridges of the scars he bore from a nasty ambush that nearly ended with his death.

  He’d driven up the Highway, seen the silvery gray cliffs rising up to the east and his heart had eased. Had eased because he knew he’d be seeing her soon. Knew he’d be in her parlor, listening to her voice as she told him about all the silly goings on in Silver Cliffs. Eating the meals she’d created. Sleeping with such beauty and perfection only on the other side of the wall and it had been enough.

  Barely enough, but enough.

  But it wasn’t anymore. Now that he’d loosed the tide of desire that had lay within him for so long there was no going back. He couldn’t drive back through those gates and not come to her. Not seek the solace of her lips, the sweetness of her touch.

  He was sure his shirt was tucked in before he opened the door to find Indigo leaning against a counter in the kitchen, watching her as she cooked.

  Verity looked up from where she worked, a smile on her face when she saw him. “I hope you’re hungry. Indigo just arrived to fill you in on what’s going on.”

  “My timing, as usual, is impeccable as I was also invited to stay and share the meal.” Indigo flashed very white teeth as he smiled at Verity.

  She blushed, patting his arm as she passed.

  “You can wash up. I’m just about to get everything on the table.”

  Indigo tipped his chin. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” He moved past her toward the bathroom where he shot Loyal a smug look. Loyal barely resisted rolling his eyes.

  He moved to her, kissing her quickly. “Smells good.”

  “Comes in handy when folks in town pay me with food and I’ve got a hungry lawman under my roof.”

  Hungry, yes. And not just for food.

  “I’m sorry we’ve been invaded.” He spoke quietly, standing close enough to smell her skin.

  She shrugged with a small, satisfied smile as she began to put platters on the table. He moved around her, adding plates and utensils.

  “It’s all right. I like him and I like that because he’s here, you have the opportunity to take some downtime to eat and get a meal into your belly.”

  Indigo came back out and they sat, digging in, the silence only broken by the sounds of utensils on plates. Finally, once they’d had a chance to fill up a little, Indigo sipped a mug of tea and looked over to Loyal, his gaze quickly cutting to Verity and back.

  “Go ahead. You can speak freely.”

  “Bridge is destroyed. We left someone in place up at the pass to report back when the brigands arrived. Not back yet though.”

  “It’s a goodly hike up that far. Should take a fair bit of time.” She said this as she refilled everyone’s glass.

  “I’m not alarmed. Yet. Haldeman would have said if he was worried.”

  “So you mean to put them on the only possible path? Across the main bridge. Easier to defend that way I suppose. I read about it once in an ancient military manual. Killbox?”

  Indigo sent Loyal a raised brow for a moment. “That’s it, indeed. Smart as well as pretty and a mighty fine cook too. No wonder Loyal is always fussy when we have to leave.”

  She smiled, but said nothing else.

  “We’ve got scouts out, keeping an eye on the road and the established trails.”

  “Is there a chance that they’ll get up to the bridge and when they see they can’t cross they’ll move on?”

  “They’re . . . unpredictable. It could happen that way. But I don’t think it will. I think they’ll come because they’ll be angry they were thwarted. Because they want this town and whatever is inside it. Because that’s who they are.”

  “Like an animal who tastes human flesh.”

  Indigo looked back her way. “How’s that?”

  “We get big cats round here from time to time. Mainly they try to steal livestock. But every once in a while, someone is attacked and it changes the cat. Makes them . . . unpredictable I guess is a good word. As if taking that step somehow changes them and they can’t go back. They have to be killed or they’ll always be a threat.”

  He supposed that was a mighty fine metaphor.

  “It’s like their purpose is to raid. We can’t even take them prisoner. They mutilate themselves while in custody. Try to kill everyone in sight. They’ll kill themselves if they can.” Indigo’s gaze went distant, as if he was remembering. They all had memories.

  She looked away, giving him that space, busying herself. “I think I’ll make some sandwiches for you to take back to the garrison. I imagine people might be in need of some food.”

  Indigo got to his feet. “I’ll take it over if you like. We don’t need you yet,” he spoke over his shoulder to Loyal.

  Who stood. No matter how much he wanted to crawl back into bed with her, he had a job to do. Keeping Silver Cliffs safe meant keeping her safe. And that’s what mattered.

  “Go ahead on. I’ll be over in a bit. I want to check on the blips and then I’ll bring the food over.”

  Indigo stood, nodded and turned to Verity. “Thank you for the meal.”

  She took his hands. “It must be hard sometimes. All the traveling you do. Sometimes nothing is better than to enjoy a home cooked meal. You’re welcome at my table any time.”

  Indigo ducked his head, charmed, it was plain to see. “Much appreciated, ma’am.”

  She smiled, so pretty. “I’m younger than you are I’d wager. So how about you call me Verity instead of ma’am?”

  “All right then. Lock up and stay safe. I expect you know how to use those?” He tipped his chin toward the rifles.

  “I do. I’ve even been doing a lot of target practice lately. Making myself better.”

  “Good.”

  A few more instructions from Loyal and he’d gone quickly, leaving quiet in his wake.

  Loyal moved to her, pulling her close. “I’m sorry to eat and run off.”

  She shook her head. “You have a job to do. I understand that. People need you and your leadership.”

  He blew out a breath, nervous to be held up as an example like that.
Knowing the whys of course—it was his job—and lawmen were important in their culture. Looked to for leadership. He would do it because that was what he was bred to do. And he’d hope he didn’t let anyone down in the process.

  “Go and wash up. I’ll come down to the garrison with you with the food.”

  “I need this first.” He dipped down to kiss her long and slow. All his angst and worry smoothed out as her taste took over. She sighed into his mouth and he took it, greedy for all of her he could have.

  He should have broken the kiss several times, but he kept on, her lips curving up into a smile against his when he finally stepped back. “I really don’t want to leave.”

  She laughed. “Yes you do. I can see you already starting to think on the garrison defenses again. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when your day is done and they send you back here to rest.”

  • • •

  He thought about her words as they walked down the hill to the garrison barracks. He’d never had that before. A woman waiting when his day was done. Anyone waiting when his day was done.

  Roots.

  He’d grown up poor, without too many and then his family had been taken from him in a violent act. At fifteen he was thrust into the military and had gravitated to the lawmen because it had been solitary. He drove in his vehicle in a team, yes, but alone too.

  It had suited him for a long time. The life without roots. But mainly it was that he did something worth doing that kept him getting back into his seat each time. He was needed. Necessary. He kept people safe, kept commerce moving. He’d been told plenty of times in his life that he was worthless. But each time they drove through the gates of a garrison town he proved his father wrong.

  Jackson’s eyes lit when he caught sight of her as they came through the doors some time later. She smiled back, holding up her basket. “I brought some food. Figured you all might need something to get you through the day.”

  They all set on her, though, Loyal noted, they were orderly. No one pushed and every single person said thank you. She seemed to evoke that.

  Stace came in with some others just as she was packing up to leave. “They’ve turned back and are headed to the main bridge. They tried to burn the brush and tree cover on their side of the river but it’s too wet to catch.”

  She turned and nodded. “I’ll be getting back home. Jackson, I’ll be up on my roof keeping an eye. I’ll let you know if I see anything.”

  “No you won’t. You need to stay inside.”

  She gave Haldeman a raised brow. “It’s my house and my roof and heaven knows I’m safe there. No one can get to me. Especially from the other side of the bridge. They won’t even be able to see me. But I have field glasses and I’ll see them.” She gave Haldeman her back, which was good because Loyal caught the annoyance on the other man’s face.

  Verity Coleman wasn’t a female to be managed. Strong. With a mind of her own and if she wanted up on her roof she’d go there. Best to urge her to keep back and report anything she saw than to go forbidding her from something she was going to do no matter what.

  “Stay back. They can’t reach you from the other side of the bridge, but we don’t want them getting any ideas as to strategic points to take either.” Loyal escorted her to the door.

  She smiled. “Of course. I’ll send Tobin with any news.”

  And she was gone with a swish of skirts.

  9

  You want to tell me what is going on with the lawman?” Tobin settled in next to her on her roof. She scanned the area with her field glasses.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re more a friend than an aunt, really, Verity. I can see the way you look at him. Have looked at him for years. And the way he looks at you. The energy between you two has changed. Even my mother has noticed. He’s . . . what do you think is next?”

  She thought about it. Thought about telling him to mind his own business. She couldn’t really talk to her sister. She loved Constance, but Constance would only tell her Jackson was a better match and the lawman’s lifestyle was unsuitable for her.

  And her sister would be right in a lot of ways.

  “I’m in love with Loyal. I have been for at least a year. We’ve gotten closer lately.” She sipped some water and kept her scan up. “I don’t know how he feels for me. Not precisely. I know he cares about me.”

  “You want to leave Silver Cliffs, don’t you?”

  She swallowed back her automatic rejection of the idea.

  “I want to see the world outside the gates. I want to hear other accents, see how people live elsewhere. There’s so much outside and I haven’t seen most of it.”

  “Do you want him because he’s your ticket out? Or because you want him?”

  “I’ve been saving up for several annum now to get on the list to travel to Shelter City. Since before James was killed. I’m going whether I do it with Loyal or not. I don’t know that I’d go forever. But . . . I am dying here. Slowly dying.” She put the glasses down and turned to Tobin. “My heart aches to know. To learn. To see. And I can’t. Not here. Do you see?”

  He took her hand, squeezing it for a moment. “I do.”

  “I want him to take me with him. I know lawmen have lives. Families even. I wouldn’t have babies out on the road. I don’t think that would be fair, or easy. But Marcus and Trinity travel together.”

  “She’s a lawman too.”

  “Yes, I know. I know all of this. I want to be with him. Before, when he left I was sad. But now? Now that things are different between us? It tears part of me away when he talks of leaving. I never had this before. If James had left for moons at a time I’d have rejoiced. I like being with Loyal. He makes me happy.”

  “Probably because you do all the talking.” Tobin winked with a grin. She laughed.

  “A plus of a taciturn man, Tobin, for a chatty woman. He says what he needs to say, but he doesn’t waste anything. Not words, not movement. He’s economical, but in the best sort of way.”

  “Dangerous world out there.”

  “Yes. But it’s not always so. Most of the time they escort the official transport without incident.”

  “My mother is going to fight you on leaving.”

  She nodded, picking up the glasses again to scan the path on the other side of the river. “Aye. She will.”

  “She’s not curious.”

  “She thinks curiosity is dangerous. It’s how we were raised.”

  “I’m on your side.”

  Tobin settled back, picking up his own field glasses.

  “Thank you.”

  “Will you support me then? When I tell them I want to be a lawman?”

  She turned to him, not entirely surprised. “Is that what you really want?”

  “I sent in papers, two visits ago, to apply to the training school.”

  And he’d said nothing. She nodded, reaching out to squeeze his hand. “Then yes, I’ll support you. I can talk to Loyal if you like, see if he’ll share what it’s like.”

  “He has. I mean, mainly I’ve spoken to Trinity because she’s a tracker and that’s what I want to do. I’d have to go to their academy. It’s a bit of money to get there. I’m saving for it.”

  He was one surprise after another.

  “I can help you. I have credits set by.”

  “You do. But for your trip to Shelter City.”

  “I can do that too. So I have to wait longer.” She shrugged. “This is more important. We’ll make it happen for you one way or another.”

  “They won’t like it. My parents.”

  “Probably not. It’s not a safe or easy life. They’ll want that for you.”

  “As if it’s an easy life here? Behind a plow or whatever I’d find a place doing?”

  “You could enter service at the garrison. They’ve alway
s a need of strong soldiers here.”

  She wanted to be careful. She loved Tobin and wanted him to be happy, but at the same time, she wanted him to be safe too. Wanted him to make choices that would keep him that way. And without a doubt her sister would blame her for this turn of events.

  “I could. I may still. It’s an option after academy. I just don’t want to be trapped here. I want options. Is it so wrong to want that?”

  She shook her head. “No it isn’t. You have every right to want that. Every right to pursue a life of your own choosing.”

  “Sometimes it feels like wanting that is selfish.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe it is. But if you can’t be selfish about creating your own future, what can you be selfish about?”

  He was silent for a while as he thought. “Is that what you’re doing?”

  “My parents traded me like livestock to a man more than twice my age when I was fourteen. I never had a life of my own choosing. Ever. The only freedom I did have was in my imagination. On the page of a book. After he was killed I had a sort of freedom I’d never had before. If it makes me selfish now to want to leave this and see what’s out there? If I choose to come back here for good, so be it. I’m capable of more than having babies and wiping down counters in a general store. I may choose that in the future. It’s not a bad life. I’m not saying that. I’m saying I want to know. I want my choice to be made with more information.”

  • • •

  She’d been scanning the trail and saw movement. Verity leaned forward, peering carefully, noting the shiver of some bushes. Moments later the brigands emerged and marched in the open.

  “Tobin, go. Run down to the garrison and tell them I’ve sighted the brigands near the big tree.”

  He got up and scampered away without argument and she kept watch.

  Moments later it wasn’t Tobin who returned, but Loyal. “Where?”

  She handed the field glasses over and guided him to the spot, which wasn’t hard as a whole band of them had emerged from the treeline.

  They were fearsome. A shiver worked through her at the sight. The night was chilly, but they wore little more than some animal skins about their waists. The light of the waning moon, giving way to early morning lit them with purple-blue light. Their faces had been painted, or maybe marked with inks and tattoos.