by Spring Trees
… Those aren’t as important as me having my meals? What in the world are you thinking?
Noting Nan Ge Er’s lips twitching, Mo Shu had no choice but to express his desire to know again, “Then, why did you go there?”
“I’m not telling anymore!” Nan Ge Er turned his head, giving a tsundere attitude.
Mo Shu chuckled as he looked at Nan Ge Er’s peeved expression, “Alright. I’m not curious about what you do outside because I don’t think you would do anything bad.” He cuddled Nan Ge Er’s shoulders, muttering, “Because my Xiao Nan is a well-behaved child, with a ferocious tongue but a heart of gold.” He continued after a pause, “You don’t have to be troubled if something is bothering you. Once things turn sour, I’ll settle it immediately. No matter what it is.”
Mo Shu tone was rather proud, but the thing that demoralized Nan Ge Er was, he realized he actually was unable to question what he said.
Indeed, a phrase describes this well. In front of absolute power, every strategy devised is all a mere paper tiger, isn’t it?
Nan Ge Er felt weaker and weaker all of a sudden
As expected, I’m not on the same level as these guys. Why exactly did I mingle with these people?! I’m just inviting contempt to myself by doing so!
The slight gloominess he felt when he just returned had already vanished far away. Now, only a stomach full of diss was inside Nan Ge Er.
“Xiao Nan.” Mo Shu stroked his hair, whispering in a seemingly coaxing tone, “Then, why not tell me why you went out?”
Nan Ge Er turned his head to look at Mo Shu, speechless for a while.
“Hm?” As Mo Shu didn’t detect any reply from Nan Ge Er, he tilted his head.
A tuft of hair, following his movements, landed on Nan Ge Er’s cheeks.
Nan Ge Er reached his hands out instinctively, clutching on that glossy, soft, raven hair. After musing for some time, he still didn’t return those strands to him.
“What’s wrong?” Mo Shu didn’t pull his hair away from Nan Ge Er’s hands. Besides, truthfully, Nan Ge Er’s willingness to touch him was precisely something he longed for. Hence, he simply lowered his head more, almost about to rub Nan Ge Er’s face.
Mo Shu’s breath on Nan Ge Er’s face dragged him back to his senses. He glanced at Mo Shu and let out a sudden chuckle, before pulling the springy hair in his hand, “You truly are a pig.”
“Huh?” Mo Shu was a little startled, having no idea why Nan Ge Er would come into such a conclusion.
He believes me wholeheartedly, without minding what I’ve done, or worried if I will harm him. Instead, he will worry about me not taking good care of myself. What else is he if he isn’t a pig?
However, Nan Ge Er only laughed as a reply, without giving any explanations.
If you attack me with your sharp claws, I will definitely handle it with ease; but if you reveal the softest heart to me, I’m unable to be unmoved. Now, I’m willing to believe a certain thing I’ve lost long ago again.
That thing Prince Li threw away will be picked up again by Nan Ge Er now.
He finally released those strands of hair he gripped tightly after a moment of chuckling. He turned his head to Mo Shu, “Well, I went outside to find out information about Bei Jun’s king today.”
Chapter 45
* * *
What Nan Ge Er said stunned Mo Shu for a bit.
Nan Ge Er tilted his head to look at Mo Shu, repeating, “…I went outside to find out information about Bei Jun’s king today.”
Noticing Nan Ge Er’s expression gradually turning callous, Mo Shu stroked his head, “Are you alright?”
Nan Ge Er stared blankly, before raising his head and chuckled, “Mn.”
Mo Shu laughed, “Haven’t you said earlier on? No matter what happened, that’s his business. Now, he’s just a topic of conversation for us.”
Nan Ge Er smiled, “Mn.”
Mo Shu discerned that Nan Ge Er seemed to have no interest in talking, so he didn’t press on. He merely reached out and rubbed Nan Ge Er’s head.
“Though it’s been a while since I return here,” Nan Ge Er only spoke out little by little after a long silence, “I do have some methods to get wind of the current situation in Bei Jun.” He smiled, “You will never be able to find out the many things I discovered.”
Mo Shu tilted his head to look at the light smile on Nan Ge Er’s buried face speechlessly.
“Even if you guys can destroy Bei Jun, there’s a lot of secrets that you all will never know.”
Mo Shu appeared to ponder for a while, before nodding in approval, “Mn, regardless whether we know those secrets or not, Bei Jun will have to disappear if we wanted to, so it is meaningless.”
It was an egotistical ignorance, and a disdain to discover of their part.
Nan Ge Er let out a bitter laugh, “Do you guys think that everyone from the outside is weak and laughable?”
Guang Tian and Mo Shu aren’t just separated from the whole world at all. Instead, they are steering the whole continent from the sky above, overlooking this chaotic land with a sort of high and mighty attitude.
“It’s ‘us’” Mo Shu reminded Nan Ge Er he was currently a part of Guang Tian as well.
Noticing his mind was slightly going out of control, Nan Ge Er took a deep breath and attempted to calm himself.
“I heard that Bei Jun’s state of affairs seems to be a little disordered?” After seeing Nan Ge Er minding about it so much, even Mo Shu would turn his indifference to seriousness.
“Oh.” Nan Ge Er nodded, “Indeed, it is in disorder.”
Mo Shu knitted his brows again, answering after recalling the current state that the scholar told him beforehand, “If I’m not wrong, the royal power seems to be…broken apart.” He didn’t pay much attention to it, as he didn’t find it important.
While troops were easily obtainable, generals were difficult to acquire. Guang Tian had many with military talents, who kings fought over for. Plus, quite a few Guang Tian citizens held key positions in the inner circle of Bei Jun. Ending a dynasty wasn’t difficult at all.
No matter whether the king was honorable or unjust, if his land was formidable enough, even that so-called benevolence would be incapable of stopping a war.
A person’s character would always change. People who had been wrenched apart from their families and homes might hate the tyrannical war when their city gates were breached. However, if the invaders kept their weapons, stopped attacking and rested there, those who suffered homelessness and misery from the war would change sides right away, submitting and vowing loyalty to the aggressors.
With enough time, any ruthless invaders would turn into respectable, founding kings. Victors were deemed as kings, while losers were portrayed as bandits. Never was there a righteous war, or a benevolent king.
This was the reality of history.
Perhaps, the person sitting beside him was aware of this principle as well. However, when all was said and done, he was still…
…a little too weak, wasn’t he?
Mo Shu drooped his gaze, as he reached out to caress Nan Ge Er’s slightly cold cheeks, “Why? Feeling reluctant?” He naturally knew Bei Jun’s king spent his days in hardship.
That was obvious; it could be mostly figured out with just a guess.
At the moment, a little chill could be heard from the usual apathetic tone of Mo Shu’s voice.
Nan Ge Er was a little astonished.
Mo Shu probably didn’t realize it himself. He simply narrowed his eyes a bit while whispering, “No one can turn back to their former routes. Same for you too, Xiao Nan.” He grasped Nan Ge Er’s shoulder, using a little more strength.
…Is this…uneasiness?
Nan Ge Er endured the light pain while he hmphed, “Mo Shu-xian sheng, my shoulder is about to break. If you wish for me to become disabled, please continue.”
Mo Shu only returned to his senses after a short daze. With his other hand, he grabbed his own hand—he was co
mpletely unaware he had used quite a bit of strength. Afraid that he would accidentally hurt Nan Ge Er again, he subconsciously shrank back and kept a distance from Nan Ge Er.
He knew the weak person in front of him was as fragile as his appearance, and could be easily snapped apart by accident.
Nan Ge Er turned his head, but could only see Mo Shu’s face with worry poorly hidden on it
Hence, he lifted his chin up, shooting a displeased stare at him, “Cold.” Without looking back to confirm Mo Shu was there for him to fall on, he leaned back recklessly.
A warm embrace blanketed him yet again.
“During the whole afternoon I spent outside, I gradually understood why that child treated me that way.” After a lengthy silence, Nan Ge Er muttered, “Actually, I might be partially responsible for it.”
“Xiao Nan is the best.” Mo Shu’s composure gained back steadily when Nan Ge Er sat intimately in his arms. He rubbed Nan Ge Er’s forehead, “He’s the foolish one.”
“Mn,” Nan Ge Er nodded, “he is indeed foolish. Of course, I’m not smart either.” He chuckled, “I can only say, we reap what we sow.”
“Since he’s being reared in a cage, he should have accepted his fate.” A hint of contempt was in Mo Shu’s tone, “Even if he’s a wolf, he can only accept the awareness of being a dog.”
Nan Ge Er started laughing lightly after a brief shock, “Mo Shu, have I told you before?”
“What is it?”
“You and Guang Tian really get on well.” Probably only someone like Mo Shu could become the leader of the fellows in Guang Tian.
Mo Shu smiled; it wasn’t certain if he understood the meaning behind Nan Ge Er’s words.
“I didn’t even know the power I had was that huge. In the beginning, those instigators were still able to put up an appearance. Before I died, none of them dared to act rashly, anxious that I might make a comeback. Even those three years of imprisonment couldn’t get them to be at ease.” Nan Ge Er snickered icily while murmuring, “Once I died, all of it broke into pieces…” he snorted, “He could not manage those devious officials at all.”
They did deplorable matters while using the king’s title as a cover, scheming against one another just to satisfy their selfish desires. Although having the title of a majestic Bei Jun king, he was no more than a mere plaything of those influential powers now.
“Not dead yet,” Mo Shu patted his face, “still well and alive.”
“Mn.” Nan Ge Er whispered, “Bei Mo Li is dead, the one who lived on is Nan Ge Er. So, I can’t go back anymore.” He raised his head and grinned.
“How obedient.” Mo Shu seemed to be thrilled when he received this promise from Nan Ge Er. He touched Nan Ge Er’s lips gently, “That tiny wolfdog is the ignorant one. Because of that, I’m able to discover a treasure.”
“I’m not a treasure, just Nan Ge Er.” He mumbled.
“Alright, Xiao Nan.” Mo Shu didn’t insist as well, and simply laughed, “Anyway, I think I have quite good luck.”
“Same for me.” What a good fortune he had, being able to arrive at Guang Tian almost miraculously, and due to that, he came alive once again.
The present Nan Ge Er finally had a sense of satisfaction, feeling fortunate to be able to arrive in this world and to be alive.
“When are we going back?” Nan Ge Er asked Mo Shu only after they gazed and smiled at each other for a long time, “I miss everyone—doctor, Xiao Xia, Zhu Xi, and Miss Chun Jiao, and…” so many more.
Compared to being in this chaotic, fickle and bustling world with various desires filled in it, I want to return to Guang Tian even more, and be a small, honest and poor Nan Ge Er.
The best memories I had in this world are all in Guang Tian.
“Is there really no need to do anything more?” Mo Shu still seemed a little unwilling to reconcile, as he queried Nan Ge Er again.
Nan Ge Er shook his head, “No need. I don’t want you to end up in infamy because of me.” Although Bei Jun’s major powers were battling one another violently, the situation wasn’t so bad that its people lived in dire poverty; so, Bei Jun’s state of affairs was still relatively stable. “Besides,” he grinned, “I’ve said before, no matter what happens, it is none of my concern. We may as well save our time and go back earlier, to avoid worrying everyone.”
Whenever he saw those hideous faces and schemes presently, he found it disgusting. Yet I was once the top among all of those fellows, and even presumptuously believed I was the cleanest of them all, since I was protecting something I wished to protect.
…Exactly how unsightly was the face I wore then? How revolting was the life I lived then?
Nan Ge Er noticed, he didn’t even remember it clearly himself.
“Alright.” Mo Shu didn’t speak a word more too. He reached out his hands to embrace Nan Ge Er again, “What a magnanimously good child; you’re really kind.”
Nan Ge Er laughed, before reaching out a hand and hugging Mo Shu’s arm, “Mn.”
Am I kind? I just feel that there isn’t a need to waste time on these insignificant matters.
I’m only dismayed because I found out everything I did before was utterly useless. Everything is karmic payback and isn’t because of a certain someone. Regardless if Bei Jun becomes ruined or prosperous, I don’t feel any bit of joy.
Life of a human isn’t long at all, and I have already wasted quite a bit. I don’t know how much time I have before all of it is squandered away, which is why I just wish to return to the world I like the best as fast as possible.
However, Nan Ge Er didn’t know if Mo Shu would be able to understand that, so he simply smiled without any further explanations.
“Let’s go back after the ones planning to return home are ready.” Mo Shu chuckled.
“Mn.” Nan Ge Er nodded his head, before blurting a question casually, “Around how long will it take?”
“Hurrying back overnight will be bad for your body. Let’s return after having our breakfast tomorrow.”
What the hell?! Why the heck do you explain in such an upright manner when we are scramming away so quickly?! Besides, you didn’t give them time to prepare at all, did you?!
Chapter 46
* * *
The next day, Nan Ge Er was dug up from bed early before the break of the dawn, before being fed breakfast groggily. Then, he was shoved into a horse carriage, beginning his rough journey away from Bei Jun’s capital while in Mo Shu’s arms.
As expected, the honorable scholar had a top-notch efficiency. In just one night, he thoroughly prepared every single person and object that needed to be brought back. The group of people left from the main entrance openly and mightily, utilizing the pretext of touring around.
The sun in the almost-ending winter had already risen to the top of the carriage’s roof when Nan Ge Er aroused from his rest.
It wasn’t known how and what was used to construct Guang Tian’s carriage, but in any case, Nan Ge Er found the level of bumpiness much more tolerable than other carriages. The noise from the carriage’s shaft and horse’s hooves weren’t so loud to the point that it would induce a headache either. Moreover, Mo Shu was serving as a cushion as he hugged him tightly.
Thus, after feeling satisfied with the quality of his nap, Nan Ge Er opened his eyes and moved his body slightly.
Mo Shu’s voice emitted out above his head, “Are you awake? Hungry?” Nan Ge Er merely ate a few bites of breakfast before going out for a date with the good old god of dreams.
Nan Ge Er wasn’t quite awake yet, so he only gave a sluggish reply after dazing for a moment, “I’m not hungry.” After a yawn, he tried to push away the fur coat binding him and Mo Shu together, wanting to lift the carriage’s curtain up to take a look outside.
“What are you doing?” Mo Shu stopped him, “Be careful not to let the wind in.”
Nan Ge Er only halted after hearing that. He continued to rest himself on Mo Shu, listening to Mo Shu’s regular heartbeat without a word.
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“Cold?” Mo Shu reached out and pressed Nan Ge Er’s hands while asking.
Mo Shu only felt at ease after realizing the hands in his palms didn’t go cold due to Nan Ge Er waking up.
“How long will it take to get home?” Although the carriage didn’t discomfort him, it still wasn’t comparable to being in Guang Tian. It made Nan Ge Er miss his quilt, the warmth from basking in sunshine, and his wide bed more and more.
“Soon.” Mo Shu chuckled, as though pacifying a child. He whispered, “Do you want to eat?”
Nan Ge Er only answered lazily after pondering lethargically for a while, “Nope.”
“You didn’t eat much for breakfast.” Mo Shu muttered, “Have some porridge, alright? It was heated up for you.”
“I’m not hungry.” Nan Ge Er shook his head, “I can’t eat anymore.”
“At least eat a little, hm?” Mo Shu continued persuading, hardly discouraged, “Didn’t you previously say that it was good?”
“Can’t eat anymore.” Nan Ge Er yawned, “I’m sleepy.” Noting that Mo Shu wouldn’t allow him to crawl out, he found a new suitable spot to nest in again, planning to continue his nap.
Mo Shu sighed, unable to do anything with him. He rubbed Nan Ge Er’s stomach and realized the few bites eaten in the morning weren’t really digested as Nan Ge Er didn’t move around much.
“I’m really, really full.” Nan Ge Er murmured. Then, he rested his head, falling back to sleep in an instant.
Though Nan Ge Er isn’t really full to that extent, he probably wouldn’t starve from missing a breakfast.
Mo Shu only dropped the matter after thinking as such.
The carriage stopped all of a sudden. Following next, the honorable scholar reported softly outside, “Xian sheng, there’s new information.”
Mo Shu lowered his head as he looked at Nan Ge Er, whose face was almost completely buried in his chest. After confirming Nan Ge Er wasn’t awake, he gave a hushed command, “Enter.”
The scholar pushed the curtain away and got in, before whispering, “I’ve received news just now.”