I'd Rather Be With You

by Mary B. Morrison

  CHAPTER 8

  Loretta

  Closure. That was what Chicago deserved from Madison. Wish I could make her give it to him. I hated that she wouldn’t annul their marriage. She was worse than an egotistical bastard. Madison was a bitch with balls who didn’t have to piss to mark her territory. The more she ignored Chicago, refused to come visit him, the more he ranted about her.

  “Fuck her!” I wanted to say.

  Why were men stuck on bitches who dogged them out? When was he going to stop chasing a woman who didn’t want him?

  I sat in Chicago’s hospital room and listened to him say, “I love Madison. I know you don’t understand why, but she’s everything I want in a woman.”

  Like what? You mean the fact that she hates your mother is cool? Or is it the part where she left you for dead that’s turning you on?

  I didn’t want to, but I had to ask, “How did you guys meet?”

  He smiled. “Madison didn’t tell you?”

  “All she said was she’d met the most amazing man at a fund-raiser. Then you showed up at Tisha’s wedding and reception.”

  Madison had met the nine men—including Chicago—who had put a ring on her finger while she was traveling solo. Her exact words were “Women who roam in packs attract rats, Loretta. You should know that.”

  Perhaps I shouldn’t have personalized what she’d said, but I did. That comment had given me one more reason to hate Madison.

  “Indeed, we did meet at a fund-raiser in the Woodlands at the Club at Carlton Woods—”

  I interrupted, “Madison doesn’t know how to golf.” She probably didn’t even make a donation.

  “Men don’t care about that. When she strutted into the clubhouse wearing all pink to an all-white function, every single man and a few married ones did a double take, licked her like a lollipop with their eyes, then competed for her attention. She didn’t have on golfing attire like the other women. Oh no! Madison had on a thigh-length dress, which clung to her breasts and booty, and stilettos. Her suckable toes were painted like cotton candy.”

  I hated when guys relived moments about women like the shit had happened yesterday.

  “The two box office tickets I had for my suite, which were supposed to be for one of our team’s football sponsors, I gave Madison one, then walked away. If she liked me, I knew she’d come to the game. And she did.”

  If I had walked into that country club, I doubt Chicago would’ve done the same for me.

  Madison had his plug pulled two weeks ago. I’d been by Chicago’s side for a total of six weeks and had never missed a day. Being at the hospital, I saw how people with money received the best treatment. If I had been admitted, instead of him, I would’ve been discharged a long time ago.

  Most of the credit, I’d like to claim, but the doctor was awesome and the nurses were incredible. They barely left us alone. They had him breathing normally in less than seventy-two hours. His bandages were replaced four times a day. Honestly, Chicago was healthy enough to have gone home a week ago, but the doctor, who was also Chicago’s fan, had insisted he stay a little longer.

  “When I came to your house and asked you about Madison, why didn’t you give it to me straight?” he asked.

  Like whatever I would’ve said could’ve made you not marry her.

  Whatever God had in store for this man had to be major. One would think after being on a respirator for a month, he would’ve had some degree of brain damage. Like Magic’s response to having HIV, the doctors couldn’t explain it; and I couldn’t figure out why it seemed as though Chicago hadn’t been shot. Had I not been here, I wouldn’t have known that his having lots of money made a huge difference.

  If he had been engaged to me, he wouldn’t have questioned my character. “Truthfully, I don’t know what you see in her.”

  Chicago looked at me. He quietly smiled. His eyes shifted to the corners. A short puff of air came from his nose. His lips remained curved. Then he closed his eyes and shook his head. “She’s amazing.”

  I don’t get it. What could she have done to cause him to respond like he was hypnotized? Was it her bedroom skills? Well, she won’t be so amazing after she has her surgery.

  My God, Loretta, what’s wrong with you?

  Hating on a friend who has breast cancer was low, but there was something so deep inside me and I couldn’t explain why it was eating me up like a flesh-eating bacteria. Especially because Madison hadn’t done anything to me to make me despise her.

  “Loretta, my brother is lucky to have you. You’re the kind of woman a man needs as his wife. Most men like shiny. We don’t drive a Rolls that’s stacked on sixteen-inch rims. We get twenty-fours that are flashy. The diamond Rolex on our wrist is there to impress the best-looking female. A man is attracted to a woman who makes all—and I mean all—of his friends envious. We want a woman who makes us shine.”

  Now I get it. I smiled on the inside. Chicago liked me a lot. That was why he’d kept me by his side. He was hesitant to tell me the truth because he was worried about taking me from Chaz.

  Chicago continued speaking. “Madison is the shiniest. Madison is the type that every man dreams of as having as his wife. When a man gets the woman he’s dreamt about, no matter how foolish it seems to others, he’ll do whatever it takes to keep her.”

  I had a sudden urge to slap his face. I took a deep breath to conceal my frustrations. A part of me shared his view and the other side of me suppressed my sexual attraction toward Madison. I wasn’t a lesbian; but at times, when I was around her, I felt urges in places that should be reserved for a man.

  “Even if she leaves you for dead,” I said, not caring how he felt.

  “We don’t know why she signed the papers. Maybe she didn’t want to see me suffer. Or maybe she didn’t want to compete with your being here every day.”

  “Don’t leave out the part where you requested that I stay.” I shouldn’t ask, but I did. “Do you still love her?”

  Slowly nodding, he said, “I’m in love with my wife. Why don’t you tell me why you’re so jealous of her. . . .”

  I was beyond jealous. “If you want me to leave, just say so.”

  “I’ll admit I’ve been selfish. You have my brother and your daughter to care for. Six weeks is a long time and you probably need to get back to work. I appreciate your supervisor doing me a favor and agreeing to give you the time off.”

  “I’m here, Chicago, because I want to be here.”

  “But if leaving is what you—” Chicago’s phone rang.

  CHAPTER 9

  Loretta

  A welcomed buzz came from Chicago’s phone, giving me time to regroup from what could’ve been my biggest mistake. Looking at him, I tried to comprehend what was incomprehensible: Chicago’s feelings for Madison. I wasn’t giving up on making Chicago mine. All he needed was a little more time to get over his wife.

  He smiled and answered, “Hey, boss”; then he put the call on speaker.

  “Hey, Chicago. You sound better than when we saw you the other day. The whole gang is here. You got a minute?”

  I recognized the voice from the days he was here. The owners showed their love and concern for Chicago during his recovery. One of them was here every other day. The man speaking had a controlling interest in the team. The last time he came in, Chicago didn’t appear to be 100 percent coherent because he was under the influence of sleeping medication.

  Chicago obviously trusted me. He hadn’t asked me to leave, nor had he switched to his Bluetooth.

  Chicago looked at me and mouthed, “Thanks.”

  “We’re thinking about temporarily promoting Blue Waters to your position. It’s just for the preseason, or until you get better.”

  A different person said, “Don’t worry. We don’t plan on replacing you.”

  I’d learned enough to know that might not be true. If Blue did an amazing job, Chicago may have to find another team to manage. If Madison had been here, she’d chime in on the conversation
, on Chicago’s behalf. I knew that wasn’t my place, so I sat quietly taking it all in. If Blue got the job, Madison would probably become his woman. She was such an opportunist.

  “Hold that thought,” Chicago said. “I have a better suggestion.”

  The guy who would make the final decision spoke now. “You know we have the utmost respect for your opinion. Shoot. Damn, I shouldn’t have said that. Let us hear it.”

  “I’m confident I’ll have a full recovery. I’m not fragile. Actually, I’m doing better than you’d imagine,” Chicago said with a short laugh. “Seriously, Blue is doing an outstanding job. That’s why we need Blue to stay where he’s at. He’s great at holding things together at the ground level, but he’s no GM. My brother, Chaz, can step in for me during preseason. From scouting to salaries, I’ve taught him everything I know. And if anyone has any questions, both Chaz and you guys can count on me to assist with getting the job done. Thanks to”—he paused—“a loyal friend, I should be back in full swing and ready to take complete control of all operations for the regular season’s games.”

  My heart smiled on the inside. I was loyal to Chicago, but I definitely wanted to be more than just his friend. If the owners went along with his recommendation, I’d be upgraded to the girlfriend of the temporary general manager of our football team. For a short while I’d have access to the suite, and people would be asking for my autograph. Of course I’d have to get a makeover and hire a body image consultant. This could be my only chance to outshine Madison and I didn’t want to mess it up.

  The guy in charge said, “I’m going to put you on mute for a moment while we discuss this.”

  “No problem.” Chicago looked at me, then winked.

  My pussy puckered. I had the biggest grin on the inside. I flashed a small smile for him. Didn’t want to seem overly excited, but God knew I was.

  “Chicago.”

  “Yes.”

  “Have your brother, Chaz, meet us in your office tomorrow at noon. After the meeting we’ll call you with our decision.”

  “Fair enough,” Chicago said.

  When he ended the call, he got out of bed, limped up to me, and gave me a big hug. He was scheduled to check out tomorrow. The doctor suggested Chicago wait a few days before starting home rehab, but he insisted on starting right away.

  “Loretta, I appreciate your being here for me every day. You didn’t have to do this. I know my family and my brother thank you too. It’s because of you that I feel like I have a second life. All the daily prayers. Comforting my mother. The time you’ve missed from work and away from your daughter. When we get to my place, I’m going to write you a check.”

  I started shaking my head. “No, I will not accept your money. I did this because”—I wanted to say, “because I love you,” but couldn’t—“because you’re a great man, and besides, what would your friends, fans, and family do without you?” I intentionally left out his wife.

  Chicago sat on the side of his bed.

  “You know Madison used to be involved with Blue Waters,” I reminded him, “so you certainly did the right thing by not letting him get your position. You think they”—I paused—“Naw, she wouldn’t do with Blue what she’d done with Granville. But if she has her baby could be his. She’s never going to divorce you. And if you try to leave her, she’s going to take you for your money.”

  I didn’t know what the hell I was talking about, but I had to put ideas in Chicago’s mind to draw him away from Madison. Now that he was close to a full recovery, I had to hold on tighter.

  He shook his head. “Jealousy does not become you. Don’t go there. I insist on writing you a check. If Raynard doesn’t mind taking care of your daughter for a while longer, I hope you don’t mind moving in with me until my rehab is complete. If you say ‘no,’ I’ll understand. Think about it. I’ll pay you for your additional time away from the pharmacy. Wait a minute. It just occurred to me. You haven’t eaten all day. Go get something and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow. I need to call Chaz and get him over here so I can prep him for his big meeting.”

  There was a God and He’d answered my prayers. Raynell would be fine. She wasn’t with a stranger. She was with her biological father. And no matter what Raynard said, I knew his wife did not want full or primary custody of our child. I was moving in with Raynell’s future stepfather. And once I was in, she could move in and we were never moving out.

  CHAPTER 10

  Tisha

  Involuntary relocation. D-day had arrived for Darryl. Two weeks had passed since Chicago left the hospital. Should’ve listened to my mother. Instead, I came home and told Darryl he had to move. He stopped speaking to me, but every night he showed up at my front door and slept in my guest bedroom. Whenever I mentioned our going to counseling, he laughed. The more I insisted he get out, nothing changed.

  Since Chicago’s release I’d only seen Loretta once. When I heard her car enter her driveway, I’d stood at my bedroom window on the second floor. Loretta had gone inside. My boys were at my mom’s. I grabbed a bottle of champagne and went next door to welcome Loretta home. She passed me by, put a suitcase in her trunk, then sped off. No hello or good-bye.

  Exhaling, I went back inside. I hadn’t seen Madison since I’d rescued her from the media. Texting was our way of communicating. I hadn’t called Loretta or Madison because I had my own housecleaning to do.

  Darryl had dangled by his dick far too long. He was so trifling I’d decided he didn’t have the right to know I was pregnant with his child. What difference would it make if I’d let him stay?

  I bypassed the locksmith at my front door, sat the champagne on the kitchen counter, went upstairs to my bedroom, and called my husband. Soon as he answered, I let him have it.

  “I’m not taking your shit and cleaning your kid’s ass too. Wherever you’ve been all night, make arrangements to get real comfortable. Permanently! You hear me! I’m serious this time. You’d better give your parole officer your mistress’s or your mama’s address. You don’t live here anymore!”

  “Baby, what’s the matter? You need your daddy to come over there and tighten you up? I’m on my way right now.” He ended the call, talking to me like I was one of his side bitches.

  Darryl was so self-centered he totally missed the part about my cleaning his kid’s ass. I guess a part of me hoped he would’ve asked, “Baby, are you saying what I think?” Normally, I’d call him back. Not this time. Hearing him say “Come over there” confirmed he didn’t deserve to use my house as his home.

  The friendship we’ve had since high school and the sex between us were the only reasons he was still here. But I’d had enough. I’d rather fuck myself than open my legs again for his useless behind. My body shivered. The thought of Darryl penetrating me made my knees wobble.

  I chastised my pussy. We’re done with that dick—you hear me? Shut up and let’s go. I left my bedroom and went downstairs to the living room. I’d almost forgotten I wasn’t the only one home.

  If Darryl had done some things right, I wouldn’t be ending it all. We could’ve talked, got professional help, and tried to make our marriage work. He’d done wrong for so long that I had nothing to say, and he had nothing worth hearing. I’d cried my last tears. Made my final plea a long time ago for him to stay home, be with his family—hell, be a man and grow up. Hanging with his boys didn’t pay bills, and neither did he. All of that was behind me. For real this time. Now I realized that we never wanted the same things. Hell, other than wanting to be a freeloader, I don’t know what that man wants.

  It was time to stop looking in my rearview mirror and focus on what was ahead. My husband was married to the streets and the women in them. I couldn’t compete with that mentality. Maybe being incarcerated for ten years molded him into being an underachiever. Or he was one well before and that was why he got locked up.

  Darryl had been out all night again, but that wasn’t new. But today I was. I sat on the sofa, staring at the front door. There was
a man there, but he wasn’t my husband. I watched him, wondering if his wife was happy.

  “Okay, Ms. Thomas, I’m all done,” he said, handing me the new sets of keys and the reprogrammed garage door opener to my house.

  The sound of my name was sweet. I’d never legally changed it from Thomas to Jefferson, but occasionally I introduced myself as Mrs. Jefferson to make Darryl feel good.

  Tipping the locksmith a twenty, I said, “Thanks, I appreciate it. Have a nice day.”

  I meant that. Whenever I wished someone well, it was from my heart. I waited until he was gone; then I placed the sign I had made on the lawn: COMPLIMENTARY WHORISH PAROLEE FREELOADING HUSBAND WITH GOOD DICK AVAILABLE/NO RETURN 310-555-6969.

  That fool had never taken a breath in Hollywood. His 310 area code was to impress women. Guess while he was in jail, he was one of those criminals sitting in a huddle, creating love letters to scheme females out of whatever they could get. Darryl had never been on a plane or outside of Texas. What was I thinking, walking down the aisle to him?

  I went back inside, locked the door, tossed the new keys on my dining table, then headed to the kitchen. The dishes were still there from breakfast with my boys and my mother. After we’d eaten, my mom had taken my kids to her place for the weekend.

  I busied myself loading the dishwasher, cleaning the appliances, and sweeping my kitchen floor. I vacuumed downstairs. Three hours went by. No Darryl.

  Being alone wasn’t what I wanted. I’d wished Madison or Loretta were here with me. I missed the way we used to get together at one another’s home, sip bubbly, and girl talk.

  Madison was at her parents’. The day her husband was released, she’d texted me, Long as that bitch is at Roosevelt’s I’m not talking to him or her.

  Loretta was being the hypocrite that she was by playing live-in wannabe wife to Chicago. All of my friends were disappearing for one reason or another.

  My kids had become my company. I missed the sound of my boys’ voices. I had to keep my babies safe, in case Darryl decided to be the fool that he was.