Cora’s Courage: Romance on the Oregon Trail Book One

by Ball, Kathleen

  “Did you want to tell me what that was all about?” Harrison broke the silence. “You were very loud.”

  She stared at him as her heart dropped. He thought she’d done something. “Tom Simps was propositioning me. Nothing new except I was madder than usual and he wouldn’t let me pass him.”

  Harrison’s fingers tightened on the reins, but he stared at the wagon in front of him. He didn’t even glance at her. Didn’t offer even a hint of outrage at the other man’s behavior or a murmur of understanding for her predicament of being caught with him.

  “We’re going extra-long today,” Harrison said in a terse tone.

  Turning her head she ignored him.

  “You probably saw all the graves. There must be sickness in the area. I noticed most of the women are staying very close to their wagons.”

  “Oh,” she said without turning back.

  “Didn’t it seem strange you were walking alone?” he asked with a faint edge of irritation. “Or have people been avoiding you again?”

  The pain couldn’t have been worse if he’d struck her. Had she done something wrong? Were people gossiping about her again? The group she walked with a week ago had dwindled down to almost no one. She hadn’t noticed they were staying close to their wagons.

  She watched the river as they went by. No matter where she went or what she did, she’d be judged harshly. Though she had to admit, Harrison judging her that way was a hurtful surprise.

  She kept thinking and thinking about what she might have done to deserve his scorn.

  She had gone to pick flowers yesterday, and Tom Simps said he’d been sent to find her. Was that it? People had seen her coming out of the tall grass with Simps? There had to be more. People had been avoiding her all week. Had Mrs. Chapman given her a curious look last night?

  She snuck a peek at Harrison, and he stared ahead, his face set like stone. Her stomach churned. Quickly, she took Essie from the sling and handed her to Harrison. Then she jumped off the side and was sick. She had eaten little for the noon meal, but that didn’t stop her stomach from continuing to heave.

  A few who went by congratulated her, but she did not understand why. She stood there with her head bent until she heard a horse race toward her. It was Simps again. This time he didn’t ask, he lifted her up and put her right in front of him. Fighting him would only cause a scene.

  Tears filled her eyes as they approached her wagon.

  “Missing something, Harrison?” Simps asked.

  “Is she hurt?” Harrison wasn’t looking at her at all. He slowed the wagon, so it was barely moving, and Simps set her on the bench.

  She’d held her breath, afraid she’d fall. How dare they think that putting her in the wagon while it was moving was a good idea? Harrison had always made her feel like a woman with value but now…

  They passed more graves, and her tears wouldn’t wait a minute more. She reset Essie in her sling and turned away.

  Harrison cleared his throat. “I suspect there is a sickness going around, and Captain London wants us away from it.” His voice was tense, and a shiver rippled along Cora’s spine.

  She didn’t answer or look at him for the rest of the day. She’d thought of him as her hero, but right now he was so cold toward her there was nothing heroic about him. If she had a home, she’d go to it, curl up with Essie, and have a good cry.

  It was getting darker and darker, but they still went on. She wouldn’t be able to make food in the dark. There wasn’t anything left from the day to eat, and what about the morning? She’d have to ask Sally. Cora’s shoulders slumped lower. Harrison had made it clear no one wanted to have anything to do with her.

  The call to circle the wagons was made, and she dreaded it. She waited until they were in their spot before jumping down. She almost tripped as she walked away from the wagon, but she quickly righted herself. She put down the tailgate and stared at the provisions, trying to figure out what kind of meal she could serve. Finally, she pulled out hardtack, dried beef, and a wheel of cheese. Then she brought out a crate and grabbed her shawl.

  Essie would be fed first. Besides, if there was sickness she wanted Essie far away from other people. Essie latched on and began to nurse, but she seemed particularly hungry and feeding her was taking much longer than usual. When at last she finished, Cora buttoned up her dress and burped the baby. She reached into the wagon and took out Essie’s basket. After kissing her dear girl, Cora placed her in the basket.

  She got out the bag of buffalo chips she’d collected that morning and surprised herself by making a topnotch fire. She sure could use some coffee to stave off her weariness. After carefully roasting the beans in a pan, she let them cool then put them in the coffee mill. Soon she had the pot heating.

  Harrison was taking longer than usual with the livestock. This day would never end. She dragged the tent out of the wagon herself and set it up herself. First she put Essie inside, and then she got her blankets. She didn’t bother with a nightgown. She’d probably be woken up to cook soon anyway.

  She’d barely gotten the quilt pulled up when she remembered her coffee, but upon hearing some grumbling from outside, she decided she’d do without. Straining, she thought she heard Heath and Declan talking about Zander. She couldn’t hear the words but realized they weren’t grumbling after all. Guilt and shame washed over her when she thought about the day. She’d embarrassed her husband and it wasn’t right.

  She threw the quilt off and put her shoes on. Then she lifted the tent flap and walked to the fire. With a glance, she noted that Harrison didn’t have coffee either. After gathering two cups, she went to the fire and, using her apron she picked up the pot. She handed one of the filled cups to Harrison and poured one for herself. Afterwards, she lifted a crate and set it down next to her husband.

  “I’m sorry I shamed you,” she whispered. He didn’t respond, making her feel even worse. She got up and made her bread dough for the morning. After cleaning up, she glanced at Harrison again but he continued staring into the fire. She didn’t know what else to do. She lifted the flap, put her nightgown on, and went to bed.

  * * *

  “I’m sorry I shamed you.” The words echoed in his mind. He had hoped the accusations weren’t true, but that sounded like an admission. Where had it all gone wrong? He’d thought they were on their way to building a life. He had thought they were a family. How long had she been meeting with Simps? The whole party saw her and Simps come out of the long grass together, all smiles. He must have picked those flowers for her.

  Harrison threw his cup. He didn’t play the fool well. He got up and checked on Zander. Declan was just getting ready to roll under the wagon. Heath had headed off to take first watch.

  Harrison took his time banking the fire. He picked up his cup and put it in a crate with a few other dirty dishes. Drawing a deep breath, he went into the tent. Maybe he should have volunteered for the first guard duty, but leaving her alone would make the gossip even worse.

  He undressed in the dark, and by the time he was finished, his eyes had adjusted. She looked so innocent lying there. So very, very young and naïve. Simps was a no good — But she didn’t like Simps. She had made that plain earlier. In fact, she never talked to men except for his hired men and the captain.

  He watched as her eyes opened and the sadness he saw in her gaze tore at him. He climbed under the blanket and pulled her into his arms. “Can you forgive me?”

  Her eyes widened.

  “I listened when I should have questioned. All week people have been hinting that something was going on between you and Simps. I ignored it until I saw you both come out of the grass last night. Then you two had conversations twice, though one sounded like a quarrel.” He released a sigh and shook his head. “I’m a fool, Cora. You have proved repeatedly that you aren’t devious or a cheater. I should have believed in the trust we share. I care for you, Cora. Can you forgive me?”

  “I—I… No one has ever asked my forgiveness that I can rem
ember. It’s been one of the worst days of my life. I thought I lost my best friend and there was nothing I could do or say to make you believe me. Essie and I don’t just need you, we enjoy being with you. We’d miss a part of our hearts if we didn’t have you.”

  It was probably as close to an admission of love she could give right now. But it gave him hope. They’d been on the right road together, and vicious people had set out to ruin it.

  “Are you crying?”

  She nodded, the movement making her face brush against his chest. His union suit was getting wet, but he wouldn’t pull away for anything. She fit perfectly in his embrace, and he’d never let her go.

  “Is that your stomach growling?” he asked.

  “I hardly ate all day, and I was sick.”

  “You’re a lot thinner than when we left Independence.”

  “Yes, but I’m trim not thin. I can walk longer, work longer, and I’m stronger than ever. I think if I were too thin I wouldn’t have enough milk for Essie.”

  “Make sure you eat. Put your portion aside before the others come to eat. They don’t look like they’d eat as much as bears, but they sure can fill their bellies.”

  “I’m surprised my cooking hasn’t been objected to. I haven’t had a whole lot of practice. I never noticed before, but ever since I’ve had Essie I see to it I learn something new each day. I’ve been so blessed to have you and Essie.” She was quiet for a moment.

  He wondered if she had fallen to sleep, but her body felt tense in his arms, and her breathing hadn’t evened out the way he’d grown used to.

  She drew a ragged breath and released it. “I should tell you when I was sick on the side of the trail people yelled… congratulations, and I didn’t know why at first, but I figured it out.” Another sigh came out. “Now I suppose people will ask who the father is.”

  “The father of a child that doesn’t exist? This just gets crazier and crazier. I’ll make sure everyone knows you weren’t unfaithful.” Inwardly he cursed himself. “I should have put a stop to it the instant I heard a rumor like that was going around. I didn’t believe it, so I let it alone until Simps made fools of us both. I hardly know him.”

  “He’s asked me to go walking with him a few times. He looked insulted when I said no. He must think I was a whore or am a whore…”

  “I’ll talk to Captain London in the morning.” He rubbed her back until her even breathing told him she had fallen asleep. People didn’t think their marriage was real. He’d have to remedy that somehow.

  * * *

  Captain London stopped at their fire the next morning. “We’re going to push hard today. The group ahead of us has buried many in its party. I want to pass them and keep going so they don’t try to join us. I can’t take the chance of exposing any of you.”

  “Do you know what they died of?” Cora asked.

  “My best guess is cholera. For some reason it strikes this area. That’s why I’ve been making sure people drink good water. Some have been using water out of their barrels for washing up and soaking clothes. We’ll have a meeting tonight after we circle. Make extra food this morning, we might not get much of a chance to stop.”

  He went to the next wagon to tell them the news.

  “What should we do?” she asked Harrison.

  “Keep away from anyone who has it. Be sure the water we drink is good water. I’ve heard of whole families being wiped out. I want you and Essie to ride with me today.”

  “What about Zander? Will he get it?”

  “He should be fine.” A pained look fell over his features. “Don’t be surprised if people die rapidly. Some hang on before they die too, but they don’t all die. Don’t lhtouch anything that doesn’t belong to you, and if we pass other wagons stay as far away as possible from anyone on that train.”

  She nodded and then busied herself making extra biscuits, then corn bread, cooking plenty of bacon. She had a cobbler in the coals when the captain yelled “Wagons ho!”

  She pulled it out and wrapped the Dutch oven in a blanket. Perhaps if it stayed warm, the dried apples would be soft enough to eat tonight. She put Essie in her basket next to Zander, and they were off.

  She turned once they were on the trail. “Zander, were your bandages changed yesterday? I’m sorry I didn’t get to them last night.”

  “Declan did it for me, ma’am. I do prefer you to Declan. He’s not the gentlest person I know. I thought he would break the ribs that weren’t broken.” He shifted uncomfortably. “But I’m getting better. I was hoping to move to the other wagon next time we stop.”

  “You’d be more comfortable with your friends?”

  He gave a nod.

  She smiled at him and then turned, facing the front. A wagon was pulled to the side and a man was digging a grave. “How awful.”

  “The best we can do is pray for them,” Harrison said.

  “I’ve been so busy, I’ve lapsed in my nightly prayers. It’s no excuse, though.”

  “Look, another wagon and another grave.” Harrison said.

  “It’s a mother and baby. I wish we didn’t have to see this.” Tears came to her eyes. “What if something happens to Es—” Her throat closed and her voice stopped working.

  “Put that thought out of your mind,” he said gruffly. “Now we know why we need to keep going. The captain will keep us safe.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze.

  “I suppose I should tell you about Essie’s father.” When he didn’t respond, she laced and unlaced her fingers to keep her hands busy. “When I was sold to the saloon, my job was to clean it in the mornings and do anything else that was needed, like the washing. The bartender kept me busy. Early every afternoon, a boy would come in and play the piano. He seemed shy, and it took about a year before he talked to me. We were fast friends after that, though. As we grew up, we took notice of each other in a different way. Four years after he first talked to me he proposed. I could hardly ever leave the saloon, but one day we got a chance. He told me what we—did… that it was all right since we were getting married. About a month after that I kept getting sick, and the madam demanded to know who I had been with. She told me I was pregnant. When I told her I was getting married, she laughed. I belonged to her, she said.” Cora took a deep breath.

  She risked a glance at Harrison from the corner of her eye, but he kept his eyes forward.

  “Later that day, the bartender stabbed Rudy and—killed him. Then he told me we had an appointment early the next morning with a woman who would know how to get rid of my baby. One girl—her name was Macey—asked Eddie to get me out of town, and he did. I was grateful to him. He never touched me. He said maybe we’d get married in Oregon but I don’t think he ever had any intention of marrying me. He got mad easily and I found it best to just agree with him and tell him I was sorry when I wasn’t.”

  “Did you love Rudy?” He didn’t even glance at her when he asked.

  “I thought so. I thought myself to be very much in love with him. I’m sure we could have made a life. His parents would have had a fit though. But I know now he was more boy than man. And I also know that I didn’t know what love was. I caused his death. I’m thankful for Essie, but I’m still mad that Rudy said it was fine for us to be together before we were married. It was a lie, but I guess since I lived in a whore house…” She shrugged. “I really don’t know.”

  “Sometimes our desires take over our good sense. He sounds like a nice guy and he made a beautiful girl with you.”

  “I’ll always be grateful. I missed him so. I thought of him all the time but since being married to you, I seem to think about him less and less. I think a part of me will always love him… in some way.” She swallowed hard. It wasn’t easy telling Harrison about her past.

  “I found that to be the same with Ora. I used to think of her all the time. My heart was so empty and it pained me. Then after you and I married, I thought I’d betrayed her memory.” He glanced at Cora. “I will always have love in my heart for her.”r />
  They rode by the wagon train. The people looked defeated. It was hard to lose a loved one.

  A few hours later, another scout, Oscar Randolph, rode down the line giving each driver instructions. They would stop for the nooning after all. The party they had just passed was stopping for the day.

  There were plenty of buffalo chips just off the side of the trail, and she put Essie in her sling and hurried off to collect them. Everyone stood quite a distance from each other. Harrison came to help her when he finished unhitching the oxen and moving Zander into the other wagon.

  “This is a nice surprise.”

  “I want everyone to know that we are together and we care for each other.” He bent and kissed her lightly on the lips.

  A wide smile spread across her face. “I do believe we will be the topic of conversation while people eat.”

  “That’s the plan, sweet.” He took Essie from her and held her against his big shoulder and then held the bag for her to put the chips in.

  “I was thinking about the people who started after us. Will there be enough chips for them?”

  “Chips, probably. Grass and wood might get scarce. I heard groups that left late last year had to drive their livestock more than a few miles away from the camp to find grass. Two of the reasons I signed on to Captain London’s company were because he has a great record and he was leaving early. We hit snow at the beginning but better than at the end.”

  A big gust of wind lifted the sand from the ground and made it impossible to see. She closed her eyes and hung onto Harrison. It was getting hard to stay upright.

  “Hold on and follow me!” he yelled above the strong gusts. It was hard, sand was in her eyes, nose, and mouth, and she worried about Essie.

  Once back to their wagon, Harrison put Essie in her basket and lifted Cora into the back. “Pull the front as tightly closed as you can!” He climbed in a minute later and cinched the canvas at the back closed. Everything was covered in a layer of dust, but the worst of it was now being kept out. They moved things around until they had space for both of them to sit. It was a tight fit, but they made do.