After the Horses

by Jeffrey Round

  Looking up now, Dan saw the fire escape, smiling to find it intact after all those years. It touched ground in the back alley where he’d ended his youthful adventure. A quick climb up a rickety set of stairs and the exit door opened at his touch.

  He stepped in and looked around. There was no one about, and therefore no one to see him doing something he shouldn’t be doing. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d overstepped his bounds and trespassed in order to get a firsthand look at something that conspired to keep him out.

  Inside the bar, chaos reigned: floors ripped up, ceiling tiles missing, walls in a shambles. The police had done their worst, tearing the place apart and tossing things aside in search of evidence of the nefarious intrigues that had gone on in the after hours. There was no respect for the recently deceased, it seemed. What is a man remembered for? Dan wondered. The good things he does in his life, the legacy he leaves behind, or for whether he partied to excess once in a while? Yuri Malevski had done favours for the gay community, but he’d also been the sort of man whose life harboured dark secrets. Nothing new in the annals of time, but clearly whoever had been through the bar in the days since his death had found little about him to honour.

  Dan glanced around. There, behind what was once a very busy martini bar, lay the entrance to the rumoured dungeons of debauchery and sexual abandon. He tripped the latch and opened the door. Steps led down into darkness, but the lights still worked when he flipped the switch, illuminating a swath of wooden stairs descending to who knew where. He followed, wary of broken boards and slippery footing. It wouldn’t do to twist an ankle while trespassing.

  At the bottom lay an overturned burlap bag with grain spilling from a tear in its side. A large rat waddled away at Dan’s approach. Cartons of empties were stacked along one wall, the wooden shelves old and dusty. The entire space was no more than twenty by twenty feet. No whips, chains, or manacles, no implements of torture anywhere in sight, just a dusty, neglected storage space. Poor Vlad.

  Dan heard a series of staccato cries from above. He stuck his head through the door and looked cautiously around. Then it dawned on him: hammers and nails, saws and drills. Some sort of restoration work was being done here, probably in preparation for selling the building. In fact, the place had always been a dump whenever he’d come by as a patron over the years. As a twenty-something with a fondness for alcohol but a disdain for dancing, he’d worried over the thump-thumping of the dance floor above while he sat at the downstairs bar nursing a Scotch. It turned out it wasn’t the dancing he should have been concerned about once his drinking took on the force of a hurricane in his life, but in any case he recalled being there the night the place threatened to collapse. He’d been on his third Scotch when something plopped into his glass. He looked up as a fine dusting of plaster fell down around his ears. Many had predicted the bar would literally cave in one day, and that night it came close. Not surprisingly, it stayed closed for a month after that, probably just in time before someone met their death there. As it turned out, the death hadn’t happened on the premises after all.

  As he crept forward, the cries reached a crescendo before stopping abruptly, a final cry echoing in the air. Was he too late to prevent an assault? The sound had come from the room right ahead of him.

  He knelt and peered around a corner, finding himself privy to the ultimate gay voyeuristic scenario. Two hardy specimens of manhood, coveralls and T-shirts discarded on the floor but hard hats still adorning their crowns, were having a go at the old heave-ho.

  Dan stared at the supple musculature being given a solid workout, barely suppressing a laugh. A decade earlier he might have asked to join them. Now, he was a middle-aged man with a teenaged son and a reputation to uphold, as boring as that might make him. Still, a little lust in the afternoon never hurt. Nice work if you could get it.

  Three

  Fathers and Sons

  Dan drove to the Annex and pulled up the drive of an ivy-covered stone house. Kendra waved from the kitchen window.

  “Come in,” she called. “I’m making ma’amoul!”

  She set a plate of sugar-dusted cookies on the table. He looked her over, this woman from another culture who also happened to be the mother of his son. An unforeseen occurrence, the consequence of a single date brought about by a crush on her highly attractive brother. Dan seldom thought about it now, it seemed ancient history. The fact was it had happened and turned out for the best all around, though there’d never been any question of their becoming a couple in the traditional sense. Neither wanted it then and it would serve no purpose now. They simply shared in raising the child they produced.

  He bit into a cookie. A flavourful wash of warm oranges and dates flooded his mouth.

  “Mmm … fantastic!”

  She smiled. “You always say that.”

  “Only because it’s true.” He popped in the remainder and wiped the powder from his fingers.

  Kendra gave him a sideways glance. “You need to talk to Ked,” she told him. “He’s thinking of turning down his acceptance to UBC because of you.”

  It was always straight to business with her.

  Dan sighed. “I didn’t even know he was accepted. Why doesn’t he tell me these things?”

  “He probably doesn’t want to worry you.”

  “Worry me about what?”

  She gave him a rueful look. “He thinks you need him here. He’s afraid of abandoning you by going off to school.”

  Dan shook his head. In light of their relationship, it made sense. Ked had always lived with him. They’d formed a bond against the world, making them a fully functioning unit, though perhaps it was unfair to both of them. For one thing, it kept Dan’s desire for a partner at bay with the excuse that his son needed him more, but that excuse was officially due to end when Ked went away to university. If he went.

  Over the past few months he’d tried pushing Ked away gently, but recently he’d sensed resentment because of it. It would be hard to explain his actions to his son, especially since they were deliberate on Dan’s part.

  He looked at Kendra. “What do you think?”

  “I think he should go where he can get the best training, naturally. The University of British Columbia is the best for his field.” She waited. “I’ve got enough money to help him out, wherever he wants to go.”

  Dan nodded. “I’ve got some, but not as much as he’ll need.”

  Her jaw line was set. “Then it’s good he’s got two parents.”

  Dan smiled. “I’ll say. In the meantime, what do you think I should say to him? Should I let him know you’ve told me this?”

  “Don’t let him know we’ve been conspiring against him — that’s how he’ll see it, anyway. Just ask him what his plans are. He’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

  She pushed the plate forward and smiled when he grabbed another cookie: men were all children under the skin. They worked best on reward and punishment.

  “How’s Domingo?” she asked.

  Dan’s look darkened. An old friend, a recurrence of cancer. He preferred not to dwell on it. “I don’t like it. We talk a few times a week, but it sounds like she’s resigned.”

  Kendra shook her head. “I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s never good when the patient stops fighting. Did she decide to do the chemo at least?”

  “Yes, but I gather this next round is the last, if she makes it. She seems to think there’s no use. She just wants to enjoy whatever time she has left rather than turn it into some heroic struggle.”

  “I’m sorry, Dan. I know she means a lot to you. Just be there for her.”

  “I will. For now, she’s getting the best help she can. That’s what counts.”

  His cell rang as he pulled up in front of his house. It was Donny. He’d held out longer than Dan expected. Friends for more than a decade, Donny had been a constant in Dan’s life, the still point around which his compass revolved. When Dan had passed off a street youth for temporary shelter to Donny several ye
ars earlier, the pair had become a family unit: black father and white son. In Dan’s opinion, Donny had never seemed so suited to anything as he had to fatherhood, however convulsively it had begun. It had also seemed to put them on par again, both of them friends as well as fathers.

  “You didn’t like him.”

  “Is that a question?”

  “No, I could tell. You weren’t warm to him.”

  “Do lawyers do ‘warm’? I thought they were all cold-blooded.”

  “Primarily, yes, but this one is a little different.”

  “Because you dated him once?”

  “I’m telling you, Charles is a nice guy.”

  Dan wasn’t about to let him off the hook easily. “Fine, but I dislike the breed on principle.”

  Donny spluttered. “He’s a lawyer, yes, but a lawyer who has never done anything to you!”

  “Yeah, but he would for money.”

  A long pause ensued. Dan glanced up and down the tree-lined street in Leslieville that he called home. Calm, peaceful. If it hadn’t been for that, he might not have been able to endure the city for as long as he had. It was here he’d given his son the sort of childhood that he, Dan, had never had.

  “So will you take the case?” Donny asked.

  “Tell him I’m still thinking about it.”

  “You’re too much. Really, you are!”

  “Many would concur. How’s Lester? I didn’t get a chance to ask you at lunch with all the overriding concern from your lawyer.”

  Donny huffed. “Lester is fine. He just got an internship with a poverty outreach program.”

  “Great news. Tell him I’m thrilled for him.”

  “I will. With all his experience on the streets, he should be good at it. I’m very proud of him. Plus he’s got that band on the side. He’s passionate about his horn. Maybe not quite Miles Davis, but you never know. Still no talk of moving away from home, but now that the bird has wings it won’t be long before he flies off.”

  Dan recalled Kendra’s comment about Ked’s unwillingness to abandon him.

  “Funny, Ked’s the opposite. He’s afraid to leave me on my own.”

  “He knows you too well.”

  “Yeah, there’s that.” Dan looked up at the house. “I just got home. Call you later.”

  “Think about the case!”

  Ked stood watching him from the shadows. These days he seemed to hover a lot, Dan thought. Wasn’t that what kids were always accusing their parents of doing? Ralph, a geriatric ginger retriever, lay on a pillow in one corner. His eyes flickered occasionally from one to the other of them if he heard a word that sounded like it promised food or a walk.

  “How’s school?” Dan asked.

  “Cool. There’s a science fair coming up. I’m thinking of entering an idea I had for making a sling psychrometer.”

  Dan’s expression was blank.

  “It’s a device for measuring relative humidity.”

  “Great!”

  “It’s not as dull as it sounds, Dad.”

  Dan smiled. “I don’t think it sounds dull, just a little outside my field of expertise. Is this the sort of thing you’ll be studying in university?”

  Ked warmed to the question. “Pretty much. It’s in the same field of earth, ocean, and atmosphere studies.”

  Dan nodded. “You’ll be meeting a lot of new people soon and your life’s going to change in many ways. Have you thought about where you want to go to study?”

  Ked looked out the window. “I want to stay here. There are programs at York and U of T. I’ll probably get in one or the other of them.”

  “Is that where you want to go?”

  Ked turned back to his father. “Sure. Why not?”

  “Those are both good universities. But are they the best for you? If it’s a matter of cost, your mother and I are willing to help you make up whatever you don’t have the funds for.”

  Ked looked indifferent. “I just thought it was better for you if I stayed in Toronto.”

  “For me? Don’t do that.”

  His son’s eyes expressed surprise. Not the pleasant kind.

  “But —”

  Dan cut him off. “Don’t live your life to please me, Ked. Or your mother or anyone else. Live your life in the way you see best fit for your needs. It’s your future we’re talking about.”

  “But I thought you would want me here.” He sounded disappointed.

  “Don’t misunderstand me. If it suits your purpose, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you’re going to school. Or longer, if you like. But don’t do it for me. That isn’t a sacrifice any son or daughter should ever have to make.”

  “But I don’t want you to be alone.”

  “That’s up to me. Besides, I’ve got Ralph. We’ve made peace in our old age.”

  Dan smiled to himself. Parenting? What parenting? If asked about his fathering style, he would profess that he didn’t have one. When it comes to kids, Dan advised others, just love them as much as you can, teach them good manners and respect for others, then get out of the way and let them be. If it works, you can be thankful. If it doesn’t, it’s probably not your fault.

  “Even Ralph won’t be here forever,” he added. “Everybody leaves home at some point.”

  “I guess.” Ked still looked perplexed.

  “Whatever happens, happens,” Dan said. “As we go through life, we learn to deal with whatever comes up. It’s not always good. People lose arms, breasts, get cancer, divorce. That’s life. You can’t prevent it.”

  “I know that.”

  “But what you may not know is how it feels.” He pointed to his head. “I know you understand it here.” His hand moved down to his heart. “But this is where it’s going to get you, if you’re not prepared. And no matter how much you dislike it, you can’t stop it from happening.”

  Ked frowned as though his father had been lecturing him on his behaviour.

  “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound like an old-fashioned parent. Next I’ll be telling you I’m saying all this for your own good.” Dan smiled wanly. “Which I am, of course.”

  He stopped and checked an incoming text. It was from someone named Lionel, claiming to be an accountant and asking to meet as soon as possible. This, he presumed, was the other half of Donny’s “perfect couple.” There was a pub listed at the bottom of the text. He hadn’t even agreed to take the job. It was presumptuous, but that was how the rich operated.

  He looked up at his son. “Think about what I’m saying, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “If you want me to help you rank the different universities, I can do that, though you probably know them well enough by now.”

  Ked smiled. “I do.”

  “Good.” He paused. “There’s a dog over in the corner in need of a walk.”

  “Yeah, yeah … I know.”

  Dan glanced back at the text. He didn’t want to disappoint Donny, though that was a feeble excuse for accepting a job he didn’t want. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to be polite.

  He typed a reply: I’m good for 7. Then for Donny’s sake he added: Looking forward to it.

  Four

  Accountable

  Dan cast his gaze around the bar’s interior. Brass fittings, rough-hewn tables, hockey pennants on the walls. It wasn’t the sort of place he would expect an accountant to frequent, particularly a gay accountant, but it suited his purpose, which was simply to hear the man’s story, offer sympathy for his plight as he quaffed a single beer, then politely tell him to refer the case to the police. Due diligence done. His favour to Donny signed, sealed, and delivered. He’d offered to listen and listen he would. After that, it was out of his hands.

  The man who came through the door was dressed in a bulky sweater over a track suit. Nicely muscled forearms and solid chest. Easy on the eyes. More athlete than accountant, Dan decided. Which went a long way toward explaining the casual sports pub atmosphere. He plunked himself down on the bench like a tennis player who had
just played a particularly challenging round, winning both game and tournament.

  “Hi, I’m Lionel.”

  He smelled of cool things, minty and fresh. Dan could imagine running his hands through this man’s hair. Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying.

  “Dan.”

  They shook and a waiter took their orders.

  “Good eye,” Dan said. “How did you spot me so quickly?”

  “Charles described you well. I think he might say you’re somewhat of a ‘type.’”

  “I’ve heard that before.”

  Over in a corner, someone scored a goal on a wide-screen TV and the bar was pandemonium for a moment before settling back into its dull routine of drinking and watching.

  Lionel’s eyes met Dan’s again. The gaze held.

  “Thanks for meeting me.” Lionel blushed. “I wasn’t sure at first if it was a good idea. I didn’t want to involve you and compromise anything to do with your work principles, but Charles insisted I at least hear what you have to say. He seems to think we’re all on common ground. Charles isn’t the most trusting person, so when he said you were on the level, I took his word for it.”

  Dan didn’t say that being given the thumbs-up by a lawyer wasn’t his measure of a vote of confidence.

  “I understand a little about your predicament,” Dan said, “but maybe you could fill in a few gaps. Whatever you’re comfortable telling me. I know that some of the things you did for Yuri Malevski may have skirted the bounds of regular accounting practices. I won’t pry, but at least be assured you can be as frank with me as you choose.”

  Lionel’s face showed relief. “Thanks. It makes it easier for me to talk to you just knowing that.”

  Dan watched him. In that instant, the breezy athlete was gone and a slightly world-weary accountant with real-life human concerns took his place.

  “Since the murder, the police have been snooping around Yuri’s accounts, both business and personal. I’ve been advised by Charles to be truthful in my responses without offering up information that might implicate me in anything questionable.”