Don't Let Go
Page 6
He sighed and removed his glasses to rub his eyes. “I’m okay as long as they’re okay.”
“I hear you.”
“I can hear you, too,” Dee called from her room. “Kindly don’t talk about me like I’m not here.”
She lay in bed, hooked up to an IV and monitor. Thom took one of her hands, and Annalee took the other. Her chest constricted at the paleness of Dee’s face and the dark smudges under her eyes. Dee rolled her eyes at the hospital gown covering her. “What do you think of my fancy attire?”
Thom bent and kissed her forehead. “It suits you.”
Dee snorted. “Nice.”
Annalee squeezed her hand. “You’re feeling better?”
“Yeah. I’m getting fluids and some stuff that’s supposed to calm my uterus. Hey, I didn’t even know it was nervous.”
Annalee groaned, and Thom shook his head at the lame joke. Dee glanced at her husband. “You got hold of Eric, right?”
“Yes. He’s on his way.”
Dee sighed, closed her eyes momentarily, then opened them again. “Hey, babe. Go on down to the cafeteria and get yourself a coffee, why don’t you?” She turned to Annalee. “He’s been a real trouper, but he needs a break.”
“No, I don’t,” Thom said quickly.
“Well, then I need a break from you, okay? A girl can only take so much hovering. Besides, I want a little time with my bestie here.” She glanced at Annalee. “Girl talk. So get going. Oh, and bring me a ginger ale.”
Dee kept up the sassy attitude until her husband left the room. Then her face crumpled, and tears welled in her eyes. “If anything happens to this baby, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Annalee snagged some tissues from a box nearby and dabbed her friend’s cheeks. “Don’t talk silly. You’ve been doing everything the doctor tells you, right? Exercising, eating right—”
“I know, but—”
“But nothing. You’d never do anything to endanger the baby, so stop blaming yourself.” She shook a bossy finger at Dee. “This instant.”
Dee gave a watery snuffle. “Yes, ma’am.” A moment later, she added, “Keep holding my hand, okay? ’Til Thom comes back.”
“Of course I will.”
“He’s been great through this whole pregnancy. So patient, even when I get bitchy. He’s gonna be such an awesome daddy.” Tears started again. “He’ll be heartbroken if anything goes wrong.”
Annalee discarded the soggy tissues on the bedside stand and grabbed another handful. “Nothing’s going to go wrong. Try to keep calm. That’s best for the baby and you. Right?”
Dee took a shuddery breath and closed her eyes. “Right.” She gave a small chuckle. “Remember how I didn’t want to go out with Thom to begin with?”
Keep her talking, keep her from worrying. “Oh, yeah, I remember. You really gave him the runaround. He didn’t give up, though. He wanted you.”
“Yeah, and I kept turning him down. Man, I was a dumbass.”
Annalee smoothed Dee’s matted hair away from her forehead. “I never understood that. Why you wouldn’t go out with him. He was a good guy, nice looking, had a good job—”
“I was too busy chasing losers, that’s why. You remember what I was like. Good guys were boring, and I wanted excitement. I wanted a bad boy. Then I found out what bad boys were all about. Guys who borrowed money off me, guys who cheated on me, guys with kids from three different baby mamas. Yeah, it was real exciting.” Dee’s tone was dry with scorn.
“You smartened up, finally. You gave Thom a chance.”
Dee cracked one eye open. “You want to know why?”
“Because you finally realized what a catch he was.”
“No. Because he dared me to.”
“What? No way.”
“Uh-huh.” Dee closed her eyes again. “He called and told me I was a coward. Said I wouldn’t go out with him because I was afraid I’d have a good time. I told him he was full of it.”
“So what happened?”
“We went out. And I had a good time. No, I had a great time.” They both laughed.
“And the rest is history,” Annalee said.
“Yeah. And to think I almost missed out on the greatest guy on earth because I was stubborn and scared.” Dee opened her eyes and looked straight at Annalee. “Don’t make that mistake.”
Annalee instinctively tried to pull her hand free. Dee held on tight. “Eric cares about you, Anna.”
Heat crawled up her neck to bloom in her face. “It’s not the same thing.”
“Look, all I know is when Eric came back from your place that night, he headed back to Albany like someone set fire to his ass. He won’t tell me what happened, and I can’t even get you, my best friend, to spill.”
“We shouldn’t be talking about this. You need your rest.”
“I’m resting,” Dee shot back. “I’m attached to so many machines I can barely frickin’ move. Listen, whatever happened, you and my brother need to work it out. The two of you can have something good. You’ve got to fight for it. You think Thom and I haven’t had our problems?”
“Eric and I are not you and Thom. It’s different.”
Dee moved restlessly. “Like hell it’s different. Come on, Annalee, this is me you’re talking to.”
Annalee panicked when the numbers on the monitor shot up in response to her friend’s urgency. “Okay, I’m listening. I’m listening.”
“You promise?”
“Yes! Yes, I promise. Just please, calm down.”
“All right.” Dee settled back on the pillow. “’Cause I’m going to tell you something I’ve never even told Thom. I was afraid of being with him, but not just for the reason he thought. I was really afraid I wasn’t good enough for him.”
“Are you serious? I always thought you were fearless. I wanted to be more like you.”
“Fearless? I was full of it. I made so many stupid mistakes before I married Thom. Spent too much time with guys who treated me like crap.” She nodded to the pile of tissues on the side table. “I felt like one of those tissues, used up and tossed aside. No good for anything or anyone. There was nothing left inside, nothing to give to any man. Especially a good man like Thom.”
Annalee consoled Dee and rubbed her arm. “Oh, honey.”
“Don’t you get it? I’m telling you I know how you feel. You’ve been toughing it out, pretending you’re past the divorce and all the garbage Dickweed put you through. But I know you. I know it’s an act.”
Annalee suddenly recalled what Dee had said during the reunion, when they were alone in the Ladies’ Lounge. “You’re smiling like you really mean it. Not like someone who has to prove how well she’s doing.”
She hadn’t fooled Dee at all. Maybe she hadn’t fooled anyone. Except herself. “You never said anything.”
“When did I have a chance? You were always so busy being brave.”
“I’m not brave.” She let out a long breath. “I messed up with Eric. Big time.”
“Honey, you didn’t mess up. You’re scared,” Dee said. “The one man you should have been able to trust, your husband, kicked your heart around like a football. I get it. But don’t be scared, Anna. You’re not damaged goods. You’re full of love. Don’t be scared to love.” Dee’s eyelids fluttered. “Whoa. Whatever they’re giving me is kicking in. Is Thom back yet? I need my husband in here. I want to tell him how much I love him.”
“I’ll get him.” Annalee slipped her hand from Dee’s lax hold.
She found Thom coming down the hall. Eric, who must have just arrived, was by his side. Annalee’s mouth went dry at the sight of him. Her heart sped up. “She wants you, Thom.”
“Go on,” Eric told him. “I’ll say hello in a minute.”
Thom hurried to Dee’s room, ginger ale in hand. Eric’s forehead creased with worry. “Is she all right?”
“Yes. She’s just getting drowsy.”
A few moments later, Thom stepped from the doorway of Dee’s room and motio
ned Eric in.
Annalee hovered in the hallway, dodging bustling nurses and various aides pushing carts. Eric came back and suggested they go sit in the waiting room. Once there, she turned to him.
“Bet she was glad to see you.”
“She was sleepy, like you said. Trying to stay brave, you know, for Thom’s sake. And he’s doing the same for her.”
“She and the baby will be fine.” Annalee spoke emphatically, willing him to believe the words.
He nodded, rubbing his hands together, staring off into nothing. “Yeah.”
Her throat and chest ached with regret. If only she could put her arms around him, but she’d hurt him too badly to be of any comfort to him now. She remembered how angry he’d been when he accused her of obsessing over Denny. How defeated he’d looked as he left her.
Though they shared a small sofa, the distance between them was miles wide, and Annalee didn’t know how to bridge it.
Thom found them some time later. “I just talked to the doctor. The contractions have stopped. They’re keeping her tonight, but he says she’s doing well. The fluids are helping. I’m going to hang out here, keep her company. There’s no need for you two to stay.”
Eric stood. “Do you want me to stop by your place, pick up some things for you?”
Thom waved the offer away. “I’m fine. You go back to our place, get some rest. I promise to call if anything changes.” He gave Annalee a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks a lot for coming.”
Wobbly with exhaustion and relief, she hugged him. Then, blinking back tears, she hugged Eric. He hesitated a moment, then threw his arms around her. As they broke the embrace, she saw his eyes were wet, too.
He walked her to her car in the parking lot. It was full dark now. “I’ll follow you, make sure you get home safely.”
She could have argued, but the truth was, she wanted to know he was with her a while longer. That she had a few more minutes before they said goodbye.
The drive home gave her time to think. Now that Dee was out of danger, Annalee could consider her advice. Don’t be afraid to love.
Yes, Dee knew her all right. But there was more to it than that.
It was Eric who’d called her on it. Her anger. She hated Denny for what he’d put her through. But deep down, she hated herself even more. For letting it go on so long. Knowing, yet refusing to acknowledge, how he was cheating on her. Playing dumb. Playing the fool. What for? Because she wanted to live up to her vows? Or because she was afraid to start over?
By focusing all her rage on Denny, she never had to ponder her own complicity.
She glanced at her rearview mirror. Eric was there, right behind her, as he promised. He had her back. A man like Eric would always keep his promises, always be there for her.
A man like Eric.
God, Annalee. How stupid are you? How long are you going to hold on to the past?
She wanted someone she could trust. Someone kind and decent, who kept his word. A man like Eric. What are you going to do, genius, pine away for a pale substitute when you can have the real thing?
She pulled into her driveway while he rolled up to the curb to make sure she got inside safely. But when she got out of her car, instead of going to her door, she walked down the driveway and around the front of his car. She tapped on his driver’s side window. “Would you walk me to my door?”
He was polite, but distant, his face unreadable. “Sure.”
At her door, instead of reaching for her keys, she reached for him. She brushed her lips against his, exactly as she had done twelve years ago on her parents’ doorstep. And just as he had done back then, he slipped his arms around her, pulling her close.
Their kiss deepened. She opened her mouth to his tongue and stroked his in return. As she drew back at last to catch her breath, her heel caught on a rough patch on the concrete stoop. The sky tilted and her arms spun as she toppled backward.
There was no honeysuckle bush to soften her fall, but she didn’t land with a bone-crunching thud. Eric caught her around the waist and steadied her until she stood upright.
She clung to his lapels and laughed shakily. “Thanks. That’s not the first time you’ve saved me from falling flat on my ass.”
“I’ll always be there to catch you, Annalee.” His voice was a low rumble. “If you let me.”
She flung her arms around him.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured into his shoulder, her lips brushing the soft wool of his jacket. She looked up at him. “I’m so sorry.”
He gazed down at her. Even in the light of the street lamps, she saw the sadness in his eyes. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blown up at you that night. I’ve had years to think about my feelings. I can’t expect you to—”
“You were right. I was stuck in my anger. When Denny came over and got in my face, I just felt so—” She shook her head. She didn’t want to talk about Denny. “But I brought you home because I wanted to be with you. That’s all.” She took a breath before she took the leap. “I want to be with you. I don’t deserve your love, but—”
She could say no more because he stopped her words with a kiss. Annalee gripped his shoulders. Her core grew soft and melty, her knees turned to pudding. When they broke the kiss, she blinked her blurry eyes.
“You deserve everything good, Annalee.”
It was all there in his face. He still loved her. Thank God. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes in relief.
Eric’s hold loosened. “Let’s get inside. It’s cold out here.”
She wasn’t cold. She was warm all over, being with him, knowing how much he cared. How much she cared for him. He’d been so brave, so honest with her. She’d been the coward. But no more. No more fear. No more doubts.
She slipped her hand into Eric’s. From now on, she’d hold on tight. No letting go.
About the Author
Nona Raines became hooked on romances when she first picked up The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen Woodiwiss (and she’s not telling how long ago that was). Romances may have changed since then, but her love for a good love story has not. She’s been writing off and on for years, but when she joined the Central New York Romance Writers Association, she finally gained the support and confidence she needed to complete a manuscript.
Nona lives in upstate New York with her many pets and is currently working on her next novel. She is thrilled to be among the authors of The Wild Rose Press.
Visit Nona at
www.nonaraines.com
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and other Wild Rose Press authors, join us at www.groups.yahoo.com/group/thewildrosepress.
Thank you for purchasing this
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Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
PRAISE FOR AUTHOR
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Thank you for purchasing this