Country Roads

by Nicole Hurley-Moore

  ‘Sorry,’ he whispered as he sat up. ‘Go back to sleep.’

  Golden brown eyes regarded him for a second before she pushed herself up on one arm.

  ‘What time is it?’

  Matt reached over and grabbed his phone off the nightstand. ‘Twenty past six.’

  Her eyes widened. She pushed back the doona and reached for her clothes, which were still scattered across the bedroom floor.

  ‘You don’t have to go – I mean, the sun isn’t even up. Hey, hang around and I might even make breakfast.’

  ‘Tempting as that is,’ she said with a quick smile, ‘I really do have to go.’

  ‘But . . .’

  Bec slid into her jeans and pulled her still buttoned up shirt over her head. ‘Sorry, I’d really better run. I’ve got to catch up on all the things I didn’t do last night.’

  Matt shrugged his shoulders. ‘Sure.’

  Bec hurried around the side of the bed and kissed Matt on the lips. ‘Great. I’ll call you,’ she said as she walked out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

  Matt stared at the closed door and blinked. Had he just been dismissed? Because it kind of bloody well felt like it. He glanced across the rumpled bed and for a moment he remembered last night and the way it had felt to have Bec Duprey lying next to him. From outside the cottage came the sound of Bec starting up the car and driving away.

  For the first time in what seemed like forever he had felt grounded. Ever since the accident, no matter how hard he had tried, he’d always seemed to be just out of step with the rest of the world, but last night . . . last night it had been different. He’d felt like he was actually participating, actually there and experiencing, sharing, connecting with everything that was Rebecca Duprey. But now she was gone and for a split second he felt the loss.

  Matt rolled his shoulders and headed for the kitchen. Maybe it was the pre-dawn light messing with his somewhat frail emotions. Coffee – coffee would fix everything. Well, at least he hoped it would. As he boiled the kettle he leant against the bench and looked out into the almost dark garden. It wasn’t the first time he’d been with anyone since the accident. He’d struck up a friendship with a girl who worked in a cafe near where he used to live. Di had been bubbly, a pretty and bright girl with long dark ringlets that bounced around her shoulders. She was working in the cafe to make ends meet as she was putting herself through uni. He’d been drawn to her smile and the sound of her laugh, which he’d heard as he shuffled past one day. It was that rich, joyful laugh that had made him step through the cafe door. It was as if this sound, her laughter, had managed to reach through the cold dull walls that Matt had constructed around himself. And not only did it reach through, but it shattered a few barriers on the way.

  It had been a brief affair and Matt knew that he had been given much more than he had given to Di. She sensed, probably right from the very beginning, that the relationship was doomed even before it began. But somehow she was okay with that, and for that Matt was eternally grateful. It was because of Di that he’d been able to envisage some sort of future; to allow himself to see that he might still be able to connect with people.

  It was because of Di that he was able to appreciate the wonder that was Bec.

  He poured the water into his mug and gave it a stir. Di had given him a trail to follow back to the living, but he sensed that Bec had the ability to do so much more than that. He breathed in the aroma of the coffee. It was wrong to put that much pressure on her. This was all his baggage. No, he’d take Bec and what she was willing to share with him any way he could.

  Nonetheless, a tiny voice in his mind asked the question: Would it be enough?

  He took a sip of his coffee as he sat down at the table. Maybe he was over-thinking the whole thing. Maybe, if he had any sense at all, he’d just go with the flow and see what happened.

  ***

  The weeks slipped by and Bec found an uneasy peace with her father. Basically, neither of them mentioned the argument. Bec continued to work outdoors most of the day and in the evening she would answer her father’s questions about the farm in the most economical way. She wasn’t rude, but she made no effort to be chatty either. She was hurt and even though she tried to bury it, the pain of his words was still there beneath the surface. She and her father drifted further and further apart, and she was unable to reach out and prevent it. Her mother tried to bridge the divide but to no avail. Jack and Bec were trapped in stony silence and indignation.

  The discomfort at home was compounded by the general annoyance of Zane Turner. He had got into the habit of sending a bunch of flowers every week, and called Bec every few days to invite her to dinner, coffee or whatever. She persistently declined; however, the upside was that the steady flow of flowers was at least brightening Tash’s house – so a least someone was happy.

  One day Bec was upstairs when there was a knock at the front door. She was halfway down the stairs to answer it when her mother beat her to it. Maggie was handed another bouquet from the delivery guy.

  ‘Gee, someone’s popular,’ the guy said with a laugh.

  ‘Yeah, so it seems. Thank you,’ Maggie replied as she closed the door and turned away.

  ‘Who is it, Maggs?’ Jack called out from the lounge room.

  ‘Just a delivery – more flowers for Bec.’

  ‘From the Turner boy?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Hmmm, he’s really trying to get back in her good books, isn’t he?’

  ‘Yep – but believe me, it’s going to take a whole lot more than a few flowers.’

  ‘Maybe she should give him a second chance. He’s obviously still in love with her.’

  ‘Oh, Jack – sometimes you really don’t get it, do you.’

  ‘What do you mean? Zane keeps ringing her up and sending her flowers. He obviously wants her back.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter what he does, it’s never going to happen.’

  ***

  There was speculation in the town. The story had got around that Mick Turner had offered to buy Bluestone Ridge. The whole idea had been met with a lot of head shaking and laughter because everyone knew that Hell would have to freeze over before Jack Duprey ever sold an inch of his beloved farm. But it certainly raised a few questions, the main one being: Just how much money did Turner have if he was prepared to make an offer on Jack’s place? Everyone knew that Mick Turner had been splashing money around, but that was before the drought that had surely hit him, along with nearly every farm in the area, pretty bloody hard. So if that was the case, how could he have enough capital to buy the most established sheep run for miles around?

  Of course, with Bluestone Ridge back in the gossip mill, everyone and his dog brought up the old stories and added to the new. They knew that it wouldn’t shed any light on what Turner or Duprey were actually thinking, but they did it just the same. There were stories of Bec and Zane’s failed engagement, Tanya’s reaction at the time of the break-up, and the recent talk that Zane wanted Bec back.

  And some of the older inhabitants of White Gum Creek began to recall other whispers from long ago. Stories of how Bec’s grandfather, old Barney, had saved the farm by hard work and sheer determination after a bushfire had ripped its way through the area back in 1982. And how Jack Duprey had told anyone who’d listen that he was the luckiest man in the entire town the day he married Maggie Sinclaire, and how Mick Turner had been jealous of Jack ever since they were kids.

  Bec had not thought she would be bothered about being the subject of town gossip – she’d been there before, after all – but lately every time she went into town it was as if everyone was watching her. People would stop and say hello and ask questions which were none of their bloody business. The conversation would jump quickly from ‘How’s your father?’ to ‘Do you think running Bluestone Ridge is getting too much for him?’ Bec found the whole thing more than annoying – it was downright claustrophobic. People should damn well look at their own lives and leave hers al
one, she thought angrily. Which was one of the reasons she was so glad she had kept this thing she had going on with Matt under wraps. She knew that maybe Matt wasn’t as comfortable with the secrecy as she was, but she wanted her privacy and it was no one else’s business what she and Matt were getting up to.

  Several times a week she’d wait until dark and then head off across the paddocks to his cottage. She liked the walk, the way the night air hung over the dewy grass. As the nights got colder, sometimes the frosted leaves would crunch under her boots. Some nights they’d have dinner together and others they’d just hang out watching old movies and talking. It was talking she loved; she’d never had anyone before who she could just open up to, and Matt made it easy. Not once did she ever feel self-conscious or that maybe he was judging her. He accepted who she was and that was refreshing. So was she being selfish when he asked her if they could actually admit they were in a relationship and she said no? It wasn’t because she was ashamed or guilty – Matt was a great person and the more time she spent with him the more she found it difficult to imagine a life without him. The reason was that she wanted to keep the outside world from encroaching on what they had, to keep it away from prying eyes.

  One night the previous week, Matt had asked why she hadn’t driven over. It had been raining and by the time Bec had got to his place she was soaked through. She’d told him that she liked walking in the rain and that it cleared her head. It was true to a point, but the main reason was that she hadn’t wanted anyone to see her ute parked outside. She’d known by the way Matt had looked at her that he knew there was more to it, but he had let it lie.

  ‘So, I was thinking that maybe we grab Davey and Sally and go out to dinner. There’s a new place opening up in Bendigo and I thought we could give it a try. What do you think?’ Matt asked.

  ‘Oh, that sounds lovely.’

  Matt’s face relaxed into a smile. ‘Good, I’ll ring Davey later and maybe we can head up there on Friday night.’

  ‘Yeah, I’d like that, but . . .’

  ‘But what?’

  ‘But I’d rather just go with you. There’s no need to bring the others.’

  He hesitated for a moment as if he was going to say something, but didn’t.

  ‘I like spending time with you,’ she added with a reassuring smile.

  ‘Alright, I’ll book us a table.’

  Bec breathed a sigh of relief. Things would eventually have to change, she realised that. But for now she just wanted to enjoy Matt and keep him all to herself. Besides, if her friends knew, they’d see them as a couple, and that wasn’t the case. Mutual pleasure and no strings attached – that was the deal. It was clean and simple, and Bec knew where she stood. Even if the thing between her and Matt went belly up, it didn’t matter because they weren’t emotionally invested in each other. It was an affair and nothing more. It made sense to keep it secret until it burnt out and both of them went their separate ways.

  Unfortunately, her grand plan started to unravel at five thirty the following morning. Bec had slipped out the front door of Matt’s place and had started heading back home over the paddock. The sun was still quite a way off, although the sky was beginning to lighten. Everything was quiet and still and for a moment she could have been the only person in the world. That was until she glanced over to the boundary fence and saw Zane Turner leaning against his ute, grinning at her. Zane had never liked to be ignored. With a sigh, Bec changed course and walked over to the fence line.

  ‘Bit early for a walk, ain’t it, Bec?’

  ‘Not really any of your business. Want to tell me why you’re hanging around my fence?’

  He shifted from one foot to the other. ‘Just passing.’

  ‘Like I believe that. What do you want, Zane?’

  He pushed himself off the ute and stood in front of her. ‘I want to know why you’re wasting your time with the writer. You know just as well as I do that he doesn’t belong here. He’ll leave when he gets sick of the quiet and not being able to get his favourite coffee at four in the morning. And don’t think you’ve been clever, I’ve seen you hightail it over to his place more than once.’

  ‘You’ve been spying on me, Zane? Shit, how creepy is that?’ Bec said incredulously as she stared at him.

  ‘There’re no secrets in this town. Besides, I’ll say it again – he’s not going to hang around. That sort never does.’

  ‘You don’t know that. You know nothing about him,’ Bec said, trying to keep her temper under control. ‘Anyway, what I do is my business. Go home, Zane – I’ve got work to do.’

  ‘Always work, that’s all you think about.’

  Bec stared at him for a moment. ‘We both grew up on farms. You know what it takes to run a place like this.’

  ‘Yes, but with you it comes before everything else.’

  ‘Is that what you think?’

  Zane looked down at his boots. ‘It’s the truth, isn’t it?’

  ‘No . . . maybe, but I’m amazed that I’m only hearing about this now. I would have thought it was something you might have mentioned when we were actually going out together.’

  ‘You never had enough time for me.’

  Bec could hardly believe her ears. ‘And so that’s your excuse for why you went and cheated on me with Tanya? Wow, whatever helps you sleep.’ Bec turned away and took a couple of steps before Zane called out to her.

  ‘I can’t believe that you’d choose the cripple over me.’

  Bec swung around. ‘God, what’s the matter with you? We’re done and we have been for years. You said you wanted me to forgive you, well I have. But that doesn’t mean that we are going to pick up where we left off. That’s never, ever going to happen. I don’t trust you, Zane, and I never will – and you . . . you don’t love me. You may want me, but let’s face it, that’s more about what I can give you rather than any heartfelt regard. We are never going to be together, no matter how much you and your dad want it.’

  ‘I care about you, Bec – you must know that.’

  ‘Not enough and you know it.’

  ‘But we have an opportunity to merge not just our families but also Cara Downs and Bluestone Ridge. Don’t you see what I’m offering you? Just imagine how much easier things would be with me helping you run this place. Your dad wouldn’t have to worry about the future of Bluestone anymore.’

  She felt the barb. It was sharp and it stung. Zane’s words were too close to her greatest fear. What if I can’t manage the farm and live up to Dad’s expectations? What if I’m the one who makes all the bad decisions and ends up losing the whole damn thing? She took a breath and pushed the lid back over the pit of self-doubt in her belly. She may feel those things, but she sure as hell wouldn’t let bloody Zane Turner see that he’d managed to strike a nerve.

  ‘Don’t worry about Bluestone, I’m more than capable of running it. And while we’re on the subject, my personal life has nothing to do with you. You don’t get an opinion. I’m with Matt. For the first time in years I’m actually happy. Can’t we just leave it at that and let it be?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Just be happy for me and let me live my own life – and you live yours. It’s not some competition to decide who’s the strongest or who can shear the most sheep. Matt and I fit together better than you and I ever did. He cares about me and it feels right.’

  ‘I love you.’

  Bec stared at Zane for a second before she answered. ‘We both know that’s not true,’ she said before she turned away and headed for home.

  ***

  Bec was on her way back from Bendigo. She’d been running errands all morning and by the time she drove through White Gum Creek’s main street it was getting close to 1:00 p.m. Her stomach rumbled just as the bakery came into view. Bec took it as a sign and pulled over and parked. The Gumnut Bakery was only open from 8:30 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. during the week and until 1:00 p.m. on a Saturday. Tash and her brother made the majority of their living supplying the local
restaurants and cafes with their gorgeous bread, so locals knew if they wanted something they’d better get in quick. Each afternoon Tash would take a few loaves next door to the general store for anyone who had missed out.

  The tiny bell on the door tinkled and a blast of warm air laced with a hint of cinnamon hit Bec as she stepped into the bakery. It was a small shop with its original polished wooden floor and a large counter towards the back of the room facing the door. The only modern touches to the space were the overhead lights and the drinks fridge that stood next to the counter. A couple of small tables and bentwood chairs sat in front of the window.

  ‘Hey, Tash,’ Bec called out as she walked towards the counter.

  Tash looked up from the bread rack filled with crusty-looking rolls. ‘Well, this is a surprise.’

  ‘I’ve been running about this morning. Thought I’d grab some lunch before heading back home. What’s on the menu today?’

  Tash glanced down at the counter. ‘How about cheese and chive muffins and a coffee?’

  ‘Sounds good.’

  ‘Take a seat and I’ll get the coffees.’

  ‘So have you been busy today?’ Bec said as she went over and sat down at the nearest table.

  Tash nodded. ‘It’s been steady in the shop, but the orders have been manic. We’ve just scored an ongoing order from that new restaurant over near Willow Flats.’

  ‘That’s great. Is Alex here?’

  ‘Nope, he did the deliveries and then because I’m such a wonderful sister I gave him the rest of the day off.’

  ‘You’re a saint.’

  Tash grinned. ‘I know.’

  Bec didn’t particularly want to explain why she’d been walking across the paddock at dawn from Matt’s place, but she knew she wanted to tell Tash about her conversation with Zane. She knew she was putting off telling anyone that she and Matt were having a wonderful, delicious, hot, full-blown affair. She knew that she had to tell Tash and Sally – but not today. She wasn’t ready. After a moment’s thought she said carefully, ‘Oh, I didn’t tell you what happened the other morning. I ran into Zane, or more to the point, he was waiting for me.’