Crashing Into Me (Crashing Into Me #1)

by R. L. Jackson

  As she thought of her husband, she couldn’t help thinking of his death. She rolled-over in bed one morning and felt his cold lifeless body next to hers, and it was something she would never forget. After having buried their youngest son only three months’ prior, Vince became a different person. He stopped his regular exercise routine, and in his mourning he often neglected his heart medications. She had been busy running the day to day operations in his absence so it didn’t afford her the time to keep on top of him like she was used to.

  Her face grew cold as she thought of Joel that winter night, burning and mangled in the car on the highway. They had just left an event where they’d all discussed the future of Capshaw Realty and Kayden hadn’t taken being told he wouldn’t be the CEO well. He and Joel left to head back to Hamby and she didn’t think either of them were too drunk to drive, or she would have demanded they take a car service. That was the last she saw Joel alive and one of her biggest regrets. She loved Kayden, but it wasn’t the same as before.

  Every time she looked in his face she saw Joel and Vince and the heartbreak would start all over again. It was an accident. A tragic, foolish accident that spiraled her life out of control and she still didn’t know how to handle it. She knew Kayden had to be taught a serious lesson about consequences and Maureen obliged every opportunity to get that point across. Lana made it easier for her to accomplish her goal and she did not accept anyone who disrespected her the way she had.

  The thought of her crawling back to whatever hole she came from made her feel good inside. She knew Kayden wouldn’t just let her slip away easily, so she planned on taking him out for the afternoon as Kimberly did away with the un-welcomed distraction. Maureen believed now, more than ever, that Kim was the better match for her son. She had concocted the plan after they left Paula’s house the morning after their blow up. Maureen was admittedly ready to concede to her son, but Kim wouldn’t allow it.

  She was a calculating girl and reminded her a lot of herself. Wiping the thoughts away, Maureen sauntered over to her bed where Heathcliff was laying in his boxers, reading a golfing journal. She placed her leg onto the bed, causing her gown to ride up her thigh. He promptly put his magazine down and sat up in bed, moving towards her. He wasn’t Vincent by any means but she had needs too.

  She’d always known Heathcliff Jackson wanted her and she needed to feel something else while she was in Hamby. The memories of that town flooded her brain every minute she remained there and made her more depressed than ever—she couldn’t wait to leave. But I could have a little fun in the meantime, she thought as he pulled her onto the bed.

  ***

  It was Thursday and Lana had a lot to do. First, she and Kayden had into go to Shelby and retrieve Rachel’s ashes. They had planned to hold a ceremony for her the day that Aunt Mae’s reopened. Too bad I won’t be there, she thought as she pulled on the leather jacket that smelled of her “almost husband”. The snow plows had finally made it into town and cleared much of the snow so cars could get around. The weather forecast warned of more snow fall later in the night, so they knew they had to get a move on.

  Kayden came downstairs in Khaki pants, a tight black shirt, and a different black leather jacket. He was clean shaven except for the goatee he was letting grow in, and pulled his hair into a ponytail. He was so scrumptious, she thought as they walked through the interior garage door. She couldn’t blame Kim for having a hard time letting him go even if for selfish physical reasons only, but she knew better. Kim had an agenda that had nothing to do with her heart.

  Lana wasn’t sure if she could trust Maureen’s word about not pressing charges against her and planned to have her sign a contract guaranteeing it. This was just in case she wanted to be spiteful, which Maureen had more than proven she was capable of with her own son. It also would provide Lana proof of Maureen’s deceit, which she would promptly show Kayden and put an end to this charade. She still had a little ammunition left in her, although it would be a Hail Mary of sorts.

  Kayden opened the passenger door of the Lamborghini and she sat in. It was pretty low to the ground and not very comfortable, she thought as he closed the door. It was fancy though and it looked like a futuristic car with a dashboard full of buttons she had no idea what to do with. Kayden opened his door and slid in, shutting it down and flipping the hatch in the middle of the console. She looked over at him.

  “Seriously there’s not even a key?”

  He leaned over and kissed her.

  “Shh, just enjoy the ride,” he replied as the engine roared. And boy was it loud. Lana reached for the seatbelt and clicked it and he did the same. It was an impressive car she admitted, as the garage doors opened and he put the car in reverse.

  ***

  Kim couldn’t wait until Lana was out of Hamby for good. As soon as she was, she already had every move she planned to make with Kayden rehearsed. First comfort him in his time of sadness, blah, blah, and of course she’d have to talk him out of going to look for her. She doubted they did anything but screw anyway so tracking her down in Florida was probably out of the question. Kim had continued with her wedding plans, already picking the caterer, the flowers and even put a deposit down at The Foundry in New York.

  It would be the most spectacular backdrop for all of New York City to gossip about. Standing outside at the farmer’s market she spied a vintage jewelry store and knew there had to be something beautiful in there for her to pick out. She loved shopping and the pickings were slim there in Podunk, No-Where’s-Ville. As she walked through the newly plowed street, she slid a little but caught herself before she hit the icy asphalt. Embarrassed, she looked around to see if anyone saw her and a couple of kids on the sidewalk laughed and pointed at her.

  It didn’t matter though, nothing would ruin her day. She held her pointy nose to the air and continued across the street to the store entrance.

  She didn’t care about the way the wedding happened, it didn’t matter. It was what she did with it that would. She made a mental note to email a picture of Kayden and herself to Page Six, a notorious celebrity news and gossip magazine based out of New York. She’d have to do this by Saturday so they could run their wedding announcement in it. Everyone who was anyone read it and her guest list would be a mile long. I can’t wait until that bitch is on a plane and out of my hair, she thought. Most importantly out of Kayden’s life.

  ***

  Kayden squeezed Lana's hand as they waited in the office of the funeral home to retrieve Rachel’s remains. The office was small and dark although there were two windows with the blinds opened. The walls were a maroon almost rust color which didn’t help the gloomy atmosphere in the cold room. The big desk was surprisingly spotless. No folders, pens or sticky notes to be seen.

  Just a name plaque that read Herman Dill. They sat in silence while Kayden gazed off into thoughts she wished she could look into. Lana knew this would be hard for him and all too familiar territory, so she was happy to just be there, no speaking required. He was sullen, the corners of his eyes rimmed red as he fought back the emotions that clearly wanted out and she rubbed his hand with her thumb to give what comfort she could. The funeral director, Mr. Dill entered the room.

  He was a very tall man with huge white rimmed glasses and wore a lab coat over his dress shirt and black slacks. He was holding a small white box in his hand and sat at the table where he placed it on the desk. He opened the desk draw, pulled out some papers and pushed over a release form for Kayden to sign, where he reached over and began filling his signatures.

  The box was small. Way smaller than Lana had imagined as she’d never seen real life ashes before. It was amazing that a human body could be reduced to so little. When Kayden was done he pushed the form back over the mahogany desk and stood up, the director standing with him. They shook hands and he handed Kayden the tiny box. Lana stood next and grabbed Kayden’s free hand as they left the office.

  ***

  Kayden didn’t say much on the drive back to the h
ouse. He was still in deep thought and she didn’t want to disturb him with anything trivial. If they were actually getting married she’d distract him about those details. And if she would be living with him, she’d distract him about the plans that were drawn up for the house. She didn’t want to make matters any worse for herself or risk telling him about the elaborate plot his mother had put together, so she rode in silence with him all the way back to Hamby, taking in the scenery of this beautiful place before she had to go.

  Abruptly, he pulled the car over to the side of the road and stopped the engine.

  “Why’d you stop?” she asked confused.

  Kayden glanced over to her, his eyes filled with tears then opened his door of the car. Lana wasn't sure what to make of it but climbed out of the low sitting car and followed him into the icy air. Kayden walked up to a lamp post that had old scorch marks on it and placed his hand on it and wept.

  It dawned on her that this was where it all happened; the accident, his brother and the night that changed his life forever. No words formed in her mouth as she watched him fall apart. The best thing she could think to do was to console him, so she approached him and hugged him. He held onto her, squeezing her uncomfortably tight on the desolate highway. She couldn’t help the emotions she felt bubbling up inside. The heartbreak of seeing him so helpless, losing Rachel, the fact that she would have to leave him and then her own tears joined his.

  He finally broke free and wiped his face.

  “Sorry about that,” he said.

  “Don’t you dare apologize,” Lana replied, as she pulled him by the shirt and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

  “Not a very manly thing to do huh?”

  “Quite the opposite Kayden Capshaw, and don’t you ever forget it.”

  “I love you so much,” he replied and pulled her into another hug.

  “I love you to the moon and back,” she replied.

  “Can’t wait to marry you.”

  Lana pulled back from him and looked around the roadside.

  “Hey, if you think about it, this is kind of where we met,” she replied, not really meaning to change the subject.

  He looked around then back down to her.

  “You’re absolutely right,” he replied grinning, “Did you think it would end up like this?” he asked kissing her forehead.

  “Nope. Not in a million years. And I don’t regret a single moment of it,” she replied. She took his hand and started leading him back to the car and back to Hamby for the very last time.

  ***

  If she was going down, it would be with a bang. This was her last night with Kayden and she wanted to make it special. After the stop on the side of the road, she had picked up some candles from the grocery store and now had them lit throughout the entire house. It gave off a warm glow, that illuminated the house and she also started the fireplace which took care of the warmth. For dinner she made him shrimp Alfredo, a favorite of his that also reminded her of the happier times a few short weeks ago.

  She hoped those memories would be enough to comfort her on her way back to Florida the next day, as it will be the hardest thing she would ever have to do. Lana placed a bottle of white wine in the ice bucket on the table and had set two place settings. Cutlery, napkins and the nicest china Paula had in the house were laid out. Kayden was busy having another conference call as she got things together and she was grateful. This wouldn’t have happened if she had the distraction of his stare on her all night.

  Placing the thick sauce full of huge prawns in a serving bowl, as well as the linguini in its own bowl, she went to the oven and pulled the garlic bread out. It smelled lovely coming out of the oven, with glistening golden butter and speckles of parsley. After putting it all on a serving tray, everything was ready to go. As she sat down, the light coming off the huge stone in the engagement ring, kept catching her eye and invading her thoughts. It wasn't the ring, but what it signified.

  Just when I let someone in again, it would be over before it starts, she thought, as she had no intention of keeping it. Lord only knew what his mother would say once she was gone and she didn’t need to add any fuel to that fire. Lana looked up at Kayden who was still on the phone and pointed to her wrist. He nodded his head at her.

  “Listen I’ll have to call you back. The future Mrs. Capshaw is trying to feed me dinner,” he said to Taylor. After a few seconds, he laughed. “You’re disgusting, chat soon.”

  He hung up and put the phone in his pocket. Lana raised her eyebrow to him and he stopped and turned the phone off. She wanted his undivided attention.

  “Ok, it’s off. I’m starving,” he said as he grabbed her around the waist and planted a huge kiss on her mouth.

  “Let’s dig in,” she replied.

  While they ate and drank, they talked about the plans for KDN which took her mind off just how sad an occasion this actually was. They didn’t speak about the roadside either. She studied him as he spoke, his facial expressions, his mannerisms, the way he chewed his food, all in an attempt to mentally engrave him in her mind. The thought that she would never sit across another table from him like that again, wiped her appetite away so she focused on enjoying the wine in her glass. Looking over at the strong, handsome and accomplished man sitting across from her, brought her to realize that she really didn’t regret one experience with him, no matter how good or bad.

  Not one. A tear escaped her face as she raised her glass in a silent solute to him. He frowned at her and then raised his. Their eyes locked across the table with nothing but the soft crackling of the fireplace filling the silence.

  “Love you,” he said.

  “To the moon and back,” she replied. They each took a sip and he wiped his mouth on his napkin and stood from the table. He walked over and sat in the chair beside her. Then he dabbed her face with the unused napkin that lay next to her uneaten plate of food.

  “Why so many tears lately?” he asked curiously, searching her for the truth.

  “I’m just—happy and grateful,” she replied and it wasn’t a lie at all. He made her very happy and she was grateful for every second she got to spend with him.

  “I’d hate to see you sad,” he said chuckling, but his eyes were still serious, unmoved from hers.

  She stood and took his hand and led him into the living-room. Taking the stereo remote off of the mantle, she pointed it to the entertainment system, turning it on, and it lit up. Her favorite rendition of “Wicked Game” by Johnny Swim began to play and she set the remote down on the coffee table, turned to him and out stretched her arms.

  He walked to her slowly and slipped one arm around her waist, the other holding her hand. With her face pressed next to his, they danced in the middle of the room as she closed her eyes and tried to imagine them dancing at their wedding. In her mind she could see the beautiful details of her dress, her proud parents and all the happy guests wishing them well in their lives. Although she wouldn’t be able to tell him in spoken vows, she promised silently that she would love him until the end of time.

  14

  The morning had arrived far too fast and Lana woke up with a hangover. Great, she thought. It was all she needed on top of everything that she had going on today, and she still didn’t know how she’d actually make her exit. It would have to be today though, her time was up, the fairy-tale over. Rolling over on her side towards Kayden, she saw he was still fast asleep.

  He looked so peaceful and cute with his hair wild and crazy, so she reached over on the bedside table and grabbed her cellphone. Placing it on silent mode she snapped several pictures of him, then tucked the phone under the pillow. Before he woke, she wanted to get showered and dressed and get her duffle downstairs without interference. Slowly Lana eased out of bed, feeling the familiar soreness of their lovemaking and made her way into the shower. She stopped at the mirror and looked at herself.

  Her eyes were gaunt and puffy from spending most of the night crying after he’d fallen asleep. She had a small h
ickey on her neck and wished it would never heal, as her mind flashed back to last night when he gave it to her. Touching the spot, her ring was staring back at her, tauntingly and she took it off, resting it onto the counter.

  After a quick shower, she dressed in the bathroom so she didn’t have to make much noise in the room. Lana left the ring on the counter too, no need to prolong that anymore either. As she stepped in the closet and grabbed her duffle bag, she heard her name.

  “Lana?” He called out, still groggy from sleep.

  She threw the bag back down and walked into the room. He wasn’t there.

  “Hey,” he called from the bathroom, holding up the ring.

  She forced a smile and walked in. Damnit, she thought. How was this supposed to work?

  “You’re never to take this off again,” he deadpanned.

  He grabbed her hand and kissed it, slipping it back on her ring finger. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

  “I promise,” she lied.

  He kissed her again and took off his boxers raising his eyebrows.

  “I just came out the shower,” she protested, backing away, a wide smile on her face. Insatiable.

  He picked her up and carried her into the running shower soaking her from head to toe.

  “Kayden,” she moaned as his mouth closed over her water drenched shirt and his teeth tugged on her nipple.

  ***

  After the morning tryst, he got out of the shower first and she was overcome with emotion—she didn’t want to leave. Why should she? It wasn’t fair! What happened to Rachel wasn’t her fault either. The only thing she was guilty of was loving a man. Not being able to hold it in anymore she sank to her knees in the shower.

  The pain she felt as her knees slammed into the marble floor, was nothing compared to what was happening in her heart. She sat there and let the water wash away her tears.