by Laura Wylde
“I will,” the quiet shifter who had remained in the background up until this point jumped in. He had a slighter figure than the rest of them and a much shyer face. There was something intriguing about the pale blue of his eyes, something about his hair cropped shorter than the others which made me want to touch it…he fascinated me. “I will go and get it.” He met my eyes for just a second before he pulled them away. But it looked to be a wrench for him. “Was it just the one bag? Or is there more for me to pick up? Never mind, I’ll see what I can find…”
As he raced off, I glanced at Kayla in shock. She simply smiled at me as if that was normal. “That’s Dean. He’s very quiet and serious. But incredibly intelligent. He’s in love with science.” She gave me a bit of a curious look. “You know, if you’re really interested in what’s going on here, then he will be a good one to talk to. He’s a typical introvert when you get him talking about what fascinates him, you can’t shut him up. I think you’ll get along.”
I glanced behind me at where this Dean had just run off, wishing I could chase after him…and not only because I wanted to know everything about these panther shifters, but because I wanted to get to know him as well. There was definitely something about him…something that pulled me in towards him…
What is the matter with me? I snapped inside my brain. One minute, I’m all attracted to Jakar, now Dean… It was like I hadn’t been near a man for far too long and it was making me crazy. Like a sex obsessed horn dog. Although, was that the truth? Had it been a long time? I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been in a relationship, never mind had a fling. I wasn’t usually a ‘fling’ type of person. I’d thrown myself so much into my work that I didn’t even think about it…and now with all of this testosterone around me, I was losing my mind.
“Yeah, I think I will pull him to one side at some point and speak to him,” I commented idly.
Kayla grabbed my arm and bounced on her heels. “Does that mean you want to stay? Oh, please tell me you want to stay here. I have missed you a lot and would love to show you my life here.”
“The life you took up while sacrificing my project,” I said, but with a playful smirk playing on my lips. “Yeah, I guess I am going to stay for a while so you can show me around this place.”
“I knew it!” Garret snapped while fist pumping the air. “I knew you couldn’t resist.”
I flung my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes at him. “Are you going to be trouble for me while I’m here?”
“Oh, I sure am. You just wait and see.” He winked at me. “It’s going to be all sorts of fun.”
I liked his attitude, it was fun, and if I was going to be stuck here in a strange place with animal shifters that should be mythical, then I was going to need a friend to make sure that I had a laugh. I nodded at him and let out a little chuckle despite myself. I came to Brazil having no idea what I was going to find, and I ended up finding this. I suppose it made sense that my curious mind needed more. I needed to explore it all.
As Garret laughed with me, a magnetic pull came from Jakar and I accidentally glanced at him. A blush filled my cheeks as I looked at him, but I couldn’t pull away. I couldn’t stop staring at him. I guess I was a freaking horn dog because in this place there were two guys that did something funny to me. Then again, perhaps it was because I hadn’t ever seen guys like this. The men in New York were far more uptight, far less god like, far less attractive…
I tried to think about the last man I was with, Luke. He was so wishy washy, barely even in our relationship when I thought about it now. I didn’t care at the time because I wasn’t really in it either. I was too consumed by work. It didn’t even bother me that he wasn’t great in bed or we didn’t have much to talk about, because I guess I knew that it wouldn’t last. I wasn’t even sure that we really ended things almost two years ago, we just kind of drifted apart.
Did I ghost him, or did he ghost me? Did it even matter if neither of us cared? God, how pathetic was it that the last person I was really with, I didn’t even give a shit about? Did that make me a bad person? Or an unlucky one?
I got the impression that these panther shifters were nothing like that. They did everything to the fullest. They loved hard, fought hard, put their whole selves into everything that they were doing. That passion ignited deep seated butterflies in the pit of my core. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what they were like in bed because it was too much for me. It made me feel dizzy with lust, and I really didn’t want to fall apart right now.
I turned to Kayla, really drinking in the happiness within her. There was something here making her love her life, and it had to be these men. Yep, I did need to stay here, to find out more about what was going on.
“So, you’re having a baby?” I touched her stomach gently as if it were fragile. “That’s amazing. You must be really happy…” I dragged my eyes up to look at her. “Will your child be a panther shifter?”
She nodded, her eyes lighting up with joy. “I would think so. I don’t see why not.”
There were so any questions that I needed to ask, but I wasn’t sure if it would be rude or not. I’d been around these guys for long enough to sense that they weren’t about to attack me right now, so it was now or never. I took in a deep breath and steadied myself as much as I could before I started speaking once more.
“Are you scared about that? It’s going to be… different, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “Different for sure, but not scary. Definitely not scary.” She rubbed her bump like it was the most precious thing in the world to her. There was a love in her eyes that I envied. That was exactly what my life had been missing. I didn’t even realize there was a giant hole in my existence until this very moment. “I’m excited to bring another panther shifter into this world. I wouldn’t want them to die out. They’re wonderful.” She spotted the confused look in my eyes. “But I’m not just doing this because they might die out. It’s because I’m in love.”
In love. My sensible scientist friend had lost her head over love. Now that was something I never thought would happen. I actually clutched on to my chest because of the intense pain there. I wasn’t ever the sort of person who assumed love would complete my life, but now it was all I wanted. How much had changed inside of me since I stepped into this brand new city? It seemed like I would be leaving a completely different person.
“Well, I’m glad to hear it,” I whispered back. “It’s great to see you happy. Is Javier the father of your baby? That’s a stupid question, isn’t it? Of course it’s him. I’ve seen how in love the two of you are…”
A thick silence clung to the air, one that spoke volumes. I’d already worked out that there was a secret here, and it seemed like I’d accidently stumbled upon it. It was something to do with Javier, Kayla, and the baby…
“Have I said something here?” I laughed awkwardly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.”
“No, no. It isn’t that.” Kayla could hardly meet my eyes. “I actually don’t know who my baby’s father is.”
“Wh… what?” Just as I thought that I was getting on top of things here, finally sort of understanding what the hell was going on, Panthera threw me another curve ball. Now, I was worrying again. Panicked that I was just seeing the happiness in Kayla’s eyes but it wasn’t actually there. “What do you mean?”
“The panthers are polyamorous,” she replied. “I actually have four mates. Javier, Eben, Damien, and Tyler.”
Dean
My feet barely touched the ground as I walked. I floated on air. From the moment I laid eyes on this new human woman, things hadn’t quite been the same inside of me. I felt illogical, which wasn’t me one bit.
“I don’t even want this,” I reminded myself quietly as I raced outside the city, needing to get away from the turmoil Reese’s presence created. “Human women aren’t the way to go. I’ve been fighting that forever.”
It frustrated me so much that the others wouldn’t listen to my way of thinki
ng. I was the one who’d pursued education over everything else, it was me who picked brains over brawn, I was the only person in this pack who’d made an effort to study the science, to figure out how we could survive as a pack without including women… but no one wanted to listen to what I had found out. Least of all Javier and Jakar… all because it involved jaguar shifters.
Okay, so the history between jaguars and panthers wasn’t the easiest, and I would be one of the first to admit that. It was hard to negotiate with the jaguars since didn’t like the ‘genetic anomalies’ which was how they referred to us, but we could do it. The jaguars were global, there were millions of them. We would find some willing to work with us.
But pride stopped the leaders from following through with what was the most logical plan. Javier thought that he had the answer in Kayla, and now it seemed like Jakar was feeling the same way. Instead of reaching out to a community that could help and understand us, they were more willing to risk our secrecy by involving humans.
It didn’t make sense. It was upsetting to know they weren’t thinking with their brains since that was how I did everything. Logic was the only way for us panthers to survive, and I had so much evidence backing up my plan, so many things I could show them all, if only they would listen. But no one wanted to listen to me.
I flew out into the jungle and remained there for a moment, sucking in a couple of deep breaths. A part of me wanted to shift, to run out into the jungle and to just live as an animal for a while, but as my eyes caught the sight of Reese’s bags, I knew that I wouldn’t do it. That woman created a weird pull inside of me and although I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgeways, I wanted to know what she had to say.
“It’s just because she’s different,” I did my best to reassure myself. “Because she represents the rest of the world.”
But Kayla did as well, and I didn’t feel the same intense pull when it came to her. I didn’t want to consider what this meant, so I put my head down, I grabbed the bags, and I walked back inside. I hoped all would become clear once I laid eyes on Reese again. I needed the understanding that came with logic.
I walked back much slower, a strange sense of dread overcoming me as I walked. I felt a bit like a sheep walking into a lion’s den, which was ridiculous since I was the animal. I was the one considered a beast.
“Javier, Eben, Damien, and Tyler?” I heard Reese screech as I made my way back towards the room. “All of them are your mates? But how does that work? Isn’t your mate your one true love or something?”
I froze, waiting to see how anyone would respond to Reese’s demands. To humans, our way of life would seem strange, but it had always been that way. Even more so since the female panthers vanished.
“It…it doesn’t quite work that way,” Kayla replied. She sounded warm, trying to win her friend around. “You’ll see. Trust me, the more time you spend here, the more you will see that it’s better this way.”
“What…because you have more than one man? I don’t mean to be disrespectful, Kayla, but don’t you think this is a bit much? Four men? What do you even do? I don’t understand it, I don’t get how it works. Is it like, one at a time? Different men each night? Or is it…is it at the same time?”
The giant gulp that Reese let out told me all I needed to know. She wasn’t comfortable with our mating rituals, which only highlighted what I tried to say before to the leaders. Humans didn’t often mate like us; our way of life would be very unusual to them. Jaguars would understand us so much better. It was a shame, but that was how it had to be. Kayla was obviously one of a kind, a human woman who had fallen for us all. She wasn’t the norm.
I couldn’t hold back any longer. It was time to do what I’d come here to do, so I slipped inside the room stealthily,, and I slid the bags next to Reese. She caught my eye and smiled at me, filling me with a strange intense warmth.
“Thank you.” Her words were so quiet I was the only one who heard them.
“You’re welcome.” I nodded and attempted to smile back.
Once done, I dragged my eyes away and melted into the background where I was most comfortable. But today, I still didn’t feel right, even pressed up against the wall with no eyes upon me. There was a pressure pushing down on my shoulders making me incredibly uncomfortable. I needed a way out before my lungs squeezed completely shut and I couldn’t breathe. So, once everyone started talking again, I took my leave and slipped to the side to head back to my room. I needed my laptop, I needed my research. That was where I felt most like myself.
I hid in the walls, surrounded by my laptop and books, breathing much easier now. Being here, where I spent most of my time, using the generator power for good, it was hard to recall why I got myself in such a tangled mess before. I had some kind of intense emotional response to Reese being here, which I was certain had more to do with presence as a human than anything else, but now it was gone. Now, I was back to my jaguar genetic research.
“…do you think she’s going to stay here then?” I sat up straighter as I heard Garret’s voice on the other side of the wall. It didn’t take a genius to work out who he was referring to. “She was a little freaked out about the mating…”
“She was,” Jakar replied in a serious tone of voice. “But didn’t you see her face change after a while? It was only subtle, but I’m pretty sure Kayla has shown her the fun side to polyamory. It probably is intimidating at first.”
I swallowed back the thick ball lodging in my throat. This wasn’t the greatest news. It would only push Jakar and Javier further away from my suggestions which wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“She’s going to stay for a while anyway,” Trevor joined in, his voice unusually upbeat. “She definitely agreed to that, so I suppose all that we can do is wait to see what she thinks as she spends more time with us. As long as she doesn’t run out of here and tell the world what we are, we’re on to a win.”
“You never know, she might even stay here.” I leaned my ear up against the wall, intrigued as Jakar made this suggestion. As much as it irritated me and disproved my theory, I couldn’t help but like the idea a bit. Just a tiny bit. “She might love it here so much, like Kayla did, and remain in this place.”
I pressed my hand to my chest, wondering why my pulse had sped up tenfold. The idea of Reese being here all the time, living in Panthera, I could hardly stand it. The walls were closing in on me again, trapping me here.
“We should make her comfortable,” Trevor agreed. “Spend plenty of time with her, making her happy.”
“I can get her in on a prank!” Garret cried out with excitement. “She liked my sense of humor a lot.”
I groaned, just about ready to hammer against the wall in anger. There was nothing worse than Garret and his pranks. They were so disruptive, and people often got hurt because of it. Even harming himself didn’t change things. I was going to be spending a lot more time hanging out by myself to keep out of the way. I was not about to get in the way of Garret if he was on a mission to make life here hell…or more fun in his mind.
“If she gets your pranks, Garret, then she will fit in,” Jakar teased. “She can stay forever. If she finds a mate or multiple mates here, then even better. It saves us from having to go out into the city.”
At least that was good news. The more humans who came here, the more at risk we were. At least Reese was already here, there wasn’t much that we could do about it now. It wasn’t the ideal situation, it still involved the risk of humans, but it was better than nothing. For the time being anyway.
“She is gorgeous, isn’t she?” Jakar observed. “And spunky. I like the way she just demands things and won’t take no for an answer. She isn’t afraid to offend people with her questions, which is great. We need some of that around here. Someone who isn’t afraid to take charge, you know? Panthera could use her.”
“It sounds like you might have a little crush on her,” Garret teased. “You want her to be your mate? Ooh, that’s funny to he
ar from the guy who was dead against it, once upon a time. This is going to be fun!”
“Shut it,” Jakar growled back. “Don’t wind me up and become a pain in my ass, or there will be some punishment for your recent behavior. Yeah, that’s right, Garret, I haven’t forgotten about all your pranks.”
Garret fell into silence. I wondered if Jakar’s warnings would be enough to stop him from behaving like an idiot for a while. It wouldn’t last forever though, it never did. He would always fall back into his old ways.
“Jakar,” Trevor said. I could tell that he was speaking quietly, but he had his back pressed against the wall near to me so I could pick up every single word clearly. “I know that you just told Garret to shut it, but you do want Reese to be your mate? Just so we all know where we stand on this matter.”
“You know that isn’t how it works, Trevor. It isn’t up to me, or any of us. It’s up to Reese and who she wants to be mated with. The women have all of the control. I would be very happy if she chose me though. Perhaps she will decide on the whole pack like Kayla did with Javier and the guys. We can only wait and see.”
“So, we should all try and spend individual time with her, get to know her.”
“Yes, and let her get to know us. We want to show her what we’re all about.”
I leaned back and thought about Reese being here, about how she would change things. I wasn’t sure it would all be as hopeful as the other men felt. If only they would listen to me, then I would have told them as much, but I could already see how that would go. Jakar would barely hear my words and dismiss me, as usual.
“Where’s Dean?” Jakar suddenly asked, remembering my existence. “I haven’t seen him for a while. He just seemed to vanish at some point while we were introducing Reese to our society.”
“I don’t know, he’s always doing that, isn’t it? Sulking off to be by himself.”