by Laura Wylde
Maybe I should have been offended by Garret’s words, but I wasn’t. I didn’t see it as an issue that I preferred to be alone. Being by myself allowed me to think much clearer, it assisted me to do my work.
“I don’t think he’s comfortable with our dynamics,” Jakar replied wearily. “I don’t know if he’s happy with our way of life at all. He keeps insisting that the best way for us to preserve our genetics is to use the jaguars, but they are far too feral for us. We don’t get along, it just won’t work.”
I breathed out an angry sigh. Didn’t they care to think that it might not be as they assumed? That there were bound to be some of the jaguar community not like the others? Plus, all the past bad blood had gone now, surely? We were a different generation who didn’t necessarily hold all the sins of our elders. Why did we have to live as we did?
I just couldn’t see why we couldn’t give it a shot. What would be the harm?
“We need to find him,” Jakar continued. “We need to find him and talk to him. Get him on board with what we’re doing here because even if Reese decides to go, we don’t want her to leave on bad terms, do we? If she hates us when she goes then we’re all fucked.” I blanched at his harsh tone. “Dean needs to agree.”
“Okay, so what we should do is find him now?” Trevor asked. “Talk to him before Reese does. If she does.”
“Exactly. That isn’t going to be easy since he seems to have the best places in the city to hide, but we need to try.”
I rolled my eyes. I needed my hiding places because it was the only way that I could get my work done in peace. If I could have a safe space where the others wouldn’t disturb me then that was what I’d use. At least I knew that they wouldn’t be able to get to me here; no one knew about my hollow wall. I wasn’t sure that I could sit with Jakar and talk about Reese when I wasn’t sure how I felt about her being here. It was too weird for words.
“Where are Kayla and Reese now? Is there any chance of Dean getting to them?”
“No, I don’t think so. Kayla is finding her a place to stay so that will take a while. You know what Kayla is like, if she wants her friend to have a nice time here and to maybe even stay, then she will ensure that Reese has the best room possible. Since she’s a woman in a posh looking business suit, I guess she’s more used to the finer things…”
“Even more reason why we need to keep Dean away from her until we’ve talked.”
This was utterly ridiculous. I wasn’t a crazed threat, a serial killer out on the loose, ready to harm Reese. Just because I didn’t necessarily see things in the same way that they did, didn’t make me dangerous. It angered me a little, I balled up my fists by my side, irritated by them all. I certainly wasn’t going to let them talk to me now.
No way. Now, I really needed some time alone and there was only one place I could be sure of that.
I listened to the footsteps of the other guys as they walked away, waiting for the right moment to bolt. I shut my laptop down and piled up my books in the right order, knowing that they wouldn’t be disturbed again. Then, once I was certain that I was alone, I crept out of my hiding place and with my head down, I walked towards the jungle. I needed to shift, to be in my panther form, to have some time just feeling as my animal self. I was quick on my feet as a panther and stealthy too, which meant I wouldn’t be found anytime soon. It would take the others a while to even consider me gone, much less find me when I had this much of a head start in the never ending jungle.
I breathed deep and started the process of shifting, contorting my body and becoming the beast inside. As I changed, the itch intensified, I needed this more than I realized. How long had it been since I last changed? I could hardly recall anymore. But with Reese around, changing everything, I had a feeling that it would be occurring a lot now. There was something incredibly satisfying about crashing to the ground on four black paws.
My nose bent forwards and I sniffed the ground, using my most effective scent while in this form, and once I determined the safest way to run, I took off at the speed of light, running freely, shaking off the issues that affected me while I was a human. The faster I ran, the further I got away from Panthera, the better I felt. The more like me I became. Yes, this was the best way to recover from all of this Reese nonsense.
It would be better for me to return everything back to normal, with Reese no longer around, confusing me and messing up my brain. I need her gone and my life back as it was.
I raced off, considering my main human issue one last time before I caved to the animal instincts that wanted to swallow me up whole.
Reese
“So, how are you finding it?” Garret asked me with that gorgeous cheeky smile playing on his lips as he handed me the drink which had come to replace my usual caffeine filled coffee since I’d been here. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was, some kind of herbal concoction which was surprisingly delicious. “Getting used to us yet?”
“I think I might be actually.” I nodded slowly. “It’s definitely different from what I’m used to…”
“And what are you used to? I’d love to know more about you before you came here.”
There was a different side to Garret, one that I didn’t notice when I first arrived here but had been coming out over the last week or so since I arrived. Underneath all the jokes and pranks, which I had to assume was a way to cover up for his insecurities that came from his scar and limp, there was a perceptive, sweet side to him which I really liked. At first, I assumed that I was just glad to have him as a friend, but a couple of nights ago I had a really steamy dream about him where he was completely focused on my pleasure alone. Ever since then, I hadn’t seen him in the same way. I kept feeling an intense fizzle whenever I was around him, so when he asked me a question about myself, showing a real interest in me, it only intensified and excited me further.
“I lived in New York before I came here.” Why was I suddenly talking about my life as if it was in the past? I hadn’t exactly decided to live here full time, had I? “And I had a very successful investment business. I’ve invested in many projects like the one Kayla was sent out here on. It’s been…very fulfilling.”
“Fulfilling?” Garret cocked an eyebrow at me. “You don’t sound like it was a happy life.”
I honestly wasn’t sure how to answer that. Before I came to Panthera, I assumed it was, but seeing the life that people had here I wasn’t so sure. This wasn’t just a thriving city, it was a family. Everyone looked after one another, they really did care. It wasn’t like the city where people refused to make eye contact with other people. I could tell this caring and kindness wasn’t just to make me feel welcome either, because I’d been watching the way the panthers treated each other. It was special. The bond was something else. I really wanted to be a part of it.
“I don’t know. I do like New York, I do have a good life there, but…” I couldn’t quite explain it.
“I knew it!” Garret clapped his hands together excitedly. “I’m changing your mind, aren’t I?”
I had to laugh at his cockiness. “I don’t know if it’s just you changing my mind…”
“But I am a factor, aren’t I? That’s all I need to know. That I’m a part of it.”
As I laughed, Garret flung his arm around my shoulder and electrical bolts shot through me. Yep, he was getting to me, burying his way under my skin, making me feel all kinds of unexpected things. I no longer felt bad about my feelings for all kinds of men in this place, especially when it was different qualities in each man that drove me to them. Seeing Kayla in a very happy, satisfying relationship with more than one man now gave me a different view. It thrilled me. “You’re a factor,” I admitted. “But I haven’t made any real choice yet. I can’t make a decision based on a week here. I’m only supposed to be…you know, visiting, anyway. Checking in on my friend.”
But my words were nowhere near as strong, and my resolve was weakening moment by moment. There was just a real idealism to this life…but would I l
ike it forever, or would I begin to resent it? To miss the busyness of the city? I really wasn’t sure yet, and that was what I needed to take the time to work out.
“I know, but us panthers are so loveable, you can’t resist us. I get it, I’d feel the same way.”
I did chuckle at his joke, but as I looked around Panthera at the people who were slowly becoming my friends, I knew that he was right. I was getting sucked in, consumed by the life here, and it made me yearn for it. Everything was incredible, I was even becoming adjusted to seeing the occasional panther about the place. There was a beauty to the shifting process, the animals were gorgeous, almost better to look at than the men…
“I’m starting to see why you’re all so determined to keep the race alive,” I suddenly blurted out. “You’re such an incredible people, the world is better with panthers alive. Even if humans don’t know about you all.”
At first, I was swept away by the notoriety that came with a new discovery of an ancient civilization, but now I was more consumed by the idea that these men did need to mate, to ensure the panthers didn’t die. It was a real shame that there weren’t female panthers here anymore to make that happen, but it seemed like they could make it work with willing human women such as Kayla…and maybe me, if I was willing to give up everything else.
“I’m glad you see us that way.” Garret beamed, smiling at me. “Because we only want to be loved.”
Sean bounded up to me and Garret then, and let us know that it was story time. I couldn’t believe it had gotten that late already, but I was excited about it. I loved the stories because they taught me more about the panther history. Plus, it was really nice to listen to Trevor talk. That man was a real surprise. It took me a while to get to know him because he was a single father, completely focused on raising his child, but at story time, he really came out of his shell.
“Thank you, Sean.” I ruffled his hair playfully. “You’re a superstar. We’re on our way now.”
Sean and I had a good relationship now. We started off scared of one another, but we’d become best friends over the past few days. We spent a lot of time together playing. The panthers had a lot going on, and obviously Kayla was too pregnant to play, plus she had four men to keep her entertained, so Sean and I hung out a lot. He was a great kid, and Trevor was doing an absolutely incredible job of caring for him.
It had to be a massive challenge for him, for all the shifters with children, to raise them without their mothers. I found it incredibly admirable, as was their desire to keep doing so, to ensure they didn’t die out. But I guess it wasn’t just hard for the men, was it? The children were missing out as well. As much as their fathers could do for them, having their mothers gone had to be a struggle. No wonder they wanted to bring some women in.
If I were to become one of those women, it would be an honor. I’d have more pride in that than I did in my business, which was something I never ever thought I would say. My business was everything to me…before.
There was a giant bonfire blowing which we all sat around. I chose a seat next to Trevor, and next to Sean as well, so I could really focus on the story and Trevor’s words. I wanted to soak in the chocolatey smoothness of his voice. It was so lovely that sometimes I even closed my eyes so I could focus solely on him.
“Right everyone…” Trevor glanced around at everyone in turn. “Where did we get to last night?”
“Ooh, I know!” Sean’s hand shot up. “Our elders had just finished the first shift from panther to human.”
I smiled to myself, wondering if Trevor had decided to go right back to the beginning of their history for my benefit, so I could get to know them all more. He barely seemed to see anyone but Sean, but he’d obviously noticed me enough for that. I liked him noticing me, because he was gorgeous as well. I was intrigued by his sweetness, by the manner in which he interacted carefully with others. Also, he was freaking incredible to look at.
Oh God, what is happening to me? I asked myself silently. Am I going to end up with four men as well?
Four seemed like a really excessive number…or it used to, anyway. Now, it didn’t seem so bad. The idea of so many hands all over me, making me feel things I probably hadn’t ever felt before…well, it could be fun and it would surely beat the lackluster sex I’d been having back in New York.
“Okay, right, so Luiz Alves has evolved and shifted into a human by command of the wind, to assist the humans in their war with the sun sprites which refused to let up. Without Luiz, the humans wouldn’t have known what they were battling against. The wind couldn’t speak with them, so they assumed it was just a deadly heat, a drought designed to ensure that only the strongest of them survived….”
As the story burst out of his mouth, I found myself wondering what it would feel like to have those lips of his on mine, on my body, kissing me all over and sending my head spinning into space. I chewed down on my bottom lip, staring at him, wondering what his body was like underneath his clothes…
I felt someone’s eyes on me too, so I snapped my gaze around. At first, I thought that it was Kayla. I knew how much she wanted me to like it here. She hadn’t yet said it, but I could tell she wanted me to stick around for my female company and to enjoy this lifestyle with her. She wanted me to find someone that I could mate with. If she sensed me having any attraction to anyone here, I thought her one-woman campaign might start, which was why I’d kept all my confusing feelings to myself. But it wasn’t her. She was currently too wrapped up in Eben to notice anything about me. The other guys she’d mated with sat around her, but none of them revealed even a scrap of jealousy, it was incredible, really. In that sense, they were far more evolved than anyone I knew.
No, it wasn’t any of them, it was Jakar. As soon as my eyes met his, an intense shiver raced through me. His commanding was so powerful. Every time he looked at me, I found myself transported back to the moment I first arrived here. All I did was yell at him as he tried to calm me down, to explain, yet he’d treated me with nothing but respect ever since. He had a good soul, I liked him a lot. The way that he looked at me across the fire suggested his like for me was growing every day too. The sizzling wasn’t just from the crackling flames, it was between us as well.
My hormones raged, estrogen flying around. I was on fire. I wanted to run through the flames to strip him down too. To run my tongue up his body, to taste his muscles, to kiss him everywhere, to see how big he was down there.
Who am I? I folded my arms across my chest, trying to hide my pounding heart. What is going on with me?
“Right, bedtime.” Trevor’s words shocked me back into the present moment, dragging me from my fantasy. What I needed to do before I did something really crazy, was to go to bed alone. In my dreams, I could allow all of these fantasies to run free, but out here, I needed to act all cool and collected.
As Sean moaned about having to go to sleep when he definitely wasn’t tired yet, I shot him a grateful smile and tried to slip out from the crowds. While the kids were put to bed, the adults took the time to talk, which I usually really enjoyed, but today was different. I liked to be in control, and the more I lost the power over myself, the harder it became for me to be here…yet I really didn’t want to leave either.
“Reese!” My eyes flew closed in dismay as Jakar called after me. It seemed I wasn’t about to get some time alone after all. I sucked in a couple of deep breaths before I span around with a fake, wide smile on my face. “Reese, where are you running off to? Don’t you want to stick around and have a chat?”
“I just… I just need to get some sleep, that’s all.” I averted my eyes as I lied. “I’m a bit tired.”
“Oh, that’s a shame.” Even when I wasn’t looking directly at him, I could sense his face falling. “I was hoping that I could have a minute with you. There are some things I need some advice on.”
“You want advice from me? What could I possibly have to advise you on…?”
I trailed off as I thought about the outside
world. I suppose I knew much more about that than any of the shifters, but Jakar hadn’t ever really shown any interest in anything other than Panthera.
“It’s…well, it’s Dean actually. I’m a little worried about him.”
“Dean?” Now that I wasn’t expecting. Surely, he knew Dean far better than me. Despite Kayla’s assumption that him would get along, I hadn’t seen much of him at all. I couldn’t think of any words we’d really exchanged.
“Yes.” Jakar grabbed my arm and pulled me along with him. He found us both a bench to sit on where there wasn’t anyone around to overhear us talking. “He’s very… distant. I’m sure you’ve noticed that ever since you got here.” I nodded. “Right, well, the thing is he has always been that way, but it’s gotten worse since you arrived.”
My heart sunk. “You know, I’m pretty sure that’s because he doesn’t like me.”
I hated that thought. I couldn’t think of anything I’d done to offend this man, but clearly, I had. I’d tried not to think too much about it because I assumed I was just being paranoid, but if Jakar was here talking to me, then it meant I needed to be worried. If my presence here was having a negative impact, then it was probably time to go.
“I don’t think that’s it.” Jakar hung his head low. “I think it’s my fault. See, Dean isn’t sure about bringing human women into our society because it presents a risk. I was actually in agreement with him until recently.”
The way that he said the word ‘recently’ made me tingle all over. He wasn’t expressly saying it, but it felt like that was all for me. Like I was the one who changed his mind when I strode into Panthera.
“So, I warned him not to say anything stupid to you when you first got here. I think I might have scared him away from you. He’s become even more secluded, and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m afraid of pushing him further away from the rest of us. He’s a good guy, we all need him here, the last thing I want is for him to go out and try and make it on his own.”